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Eternity
02-11-2002, 05:43 PM
From Lucas Arts:

"Gonks were an essential factor and enjoyable addition to such games as Jedi Knight and the recent Star Wars: Phantom Menace. These adorable power-saving machines of love obediently played a crucial role in the daily goings-on of the great Empire. Trundling along, they often sacrificed their humble lives when occasional Jedi Knights decided to beat the crap out of the entire Empire from time to time for kicks. Using the only defenses that were blessed upon them at conception, they made pathetic beep beep noises to hopefully cause the enemy to fall down in spasms of uncontrollable agony, and/or laughter.

However, most of the time, they got a saber in the face for really no reason at all.

Lucas Arts has now decided to give these crucial machines a better chance of survival in the daily rigors of the Empire life. Frustrated with Gonks being pushed over cliffs and being tortured, they went back to the drawing board and assembled from scratch the Super Gonk.

That’s right. The Super Gonk.

These deadly machines of war will slaughter anything in their path. Speeding along on wheels implanted in their short legs, they are studded with sharp projectiles and nuclear reactors. Many the unwary was last blessed with the sound of ‘beep beep’ noises and rolling wheels as an insane Super Gonk repeatedly rolled over their face.

Robots that make Darth Maul look like a wannabe Devil on a flying scooter and Darth Vader a vacuum cleaner gone bad, these Gonks are not ones that can simply be kicked over in derision. Rather, these Super Gonks are going to mess you up, yo.

Now, back to making fun of the poor sods actually following our half-baked games that are in reality being made by other studios because we are too lazy."

There you have it.

Belgirion
02-11-2002, 05:44 PM
uh oh this could be trouble *pulls out antique conc rifle from JK*

Eternity
02-11-2002, 05:46 PM
Don't even try. The Super Gonk will make you it's *****.

Ki-Adi-Mundi
02-11-2002, 05:47 PM
Looks like GonkH8er is going to have his hands full! :D

GonkH8er
02-12-2002, 02:13 AM
I'm not impressed with your foolish pranks. Be warned...

Com Raven
02-12-2002, 10:50 AM
Omg, is it Godzilla ?? T-Rex ?? The Marines ??

Nahhhh, it's the

SUPERGONK !!!!!

TUS_Tomcat
02-12-2002, 10:58 AM
At first i was like: this is for real

However when i came upon the words:

beat the crap out of the entire Empire from time to time for kicks

It was obvious to me that this was a Fanboy creation

:D

digl
02-12-2002, 12:43 PM
"Atack of the SuperGonks"
Who wants to make that mod? here is the description for the ememies, now someone needs to make the model and create a few levels and a storyline :D

CaptainRAVE
02-12-2002, 01:15 PM
Gonk could make that mod anyway.........he could construct a modding team just for making Gonk skins and total conversions :D

Eternity
02-12-2002, 06:45 PM
I'm not impressed with your foolish pranks. Be warned...

Pranks?

Gonkh8ter, I would advise you to take a bit more serious stand then that. I fear being impressed would be the least of your worries.

Super Gonk is going to make you it's *****, beep-beep style

digl
02-12-2002, 06:55 PM
Eternity=compulsive liar :D

Eternity
02-12-2002, 07:08 PM
Not true. :D

StarScrap
02-12-2002, 07:30 PM
^ lol.

Hmmm......Gonk Forces.

Actually all the Gonks in the world couldn't take me and my trusty Force Rust. :D

dazilla
02-12-2002, 09:00 PM
Ahh...force absorb should take care of them...or if not, force push should do the job...now, where's that cliff?

JPMaximilian
02-13-2002, 05:00 PM
GonkH8er isn't even phased....Perhaps you've underestimated him, Eternity.

Kurgan
02-13-2002, 05:18 PM
Now this would be cool.. slap an explosive charge to a Gonk's body, and slap him with your saber to send him blundering into the enemy...

GonkH8er
02-14-2002, 12:21 AM
Another interesting mod idea. Thanks kurg :)

Redwing
02-14-2002, 01:03 AM
STAR WARS: DARK FORCES IV: JEDI KNIGHT III: JEDI OUTCAST II:
ATTACK OF THE GONKS



Play as Kyle Katarn through twenty action-packed levels featuring gonks, gonks, and more gonks! All new powers like Force Rust will assist you in killing, torturing, and annihilating all the Gonk droids the Empire can throw at you. Multiplayer modes include Gonk Football, Kill the Fool with the Gonk, Capture the Gonk, Gonk Duel, and your average Death-to-Gonk- and Team Death-to-Gonk-matches. Coming May 2002!

SaberPro
02-14-2002, 01:04 AM
HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHA

:lol: :lol:

:rofl:

StarScrap
02-14-2002, 07:20 PM
Nice compilation Redwing. :D:D

:rofl:

GonkH8er
02-15-2002, 12:35 AM
Lets not forget the Gonk firing range, Protect the Gonk (heaven forbid), Remote control kamikaze Gonks and Gonkasaurus. :D

acdcfanbill
02-15-2002, 01:07 AM
this thread is amost as annoing as the gonks themselves!:D

Eternity
02-15-2002, 07:18 PM
Don't knock it, I'm putting it in my sig. I caught a couple peeps referring to 'super gonks.'

digl
02-15-2002, 07:37 PM
Maybe Gonks will be useful now
read:
PCG UK review
Both standard and light-intensifying binoculars come in handy at times (although you need to pick up batteries or tae power from Power Droids to charge them)

GonkH8er
02-15-2002, 08:00 PM
Hrmmm..... right........

so we have to kill them to get batteries? :)

ScummyRAT
02-17-2002, 02:10 AM
A cookie to the people who remember the serial code for the "Gonk".

Ben_Walker
02-17-2002, 02:33 AM
Super Gonks, nice one...

Eternity
02-17-2002, 02:13 PM
Damn straight.