View Full Version : Favorite Simpsons Quotes!

Boba Rhett
03-02-2002, 06:09 AM
The tittle says it all! Post your favorite quotes from The Simpsons!

Here are some good ones,

1. I bent my wookie! -Ralph

2. Worst. Episode. Ever. -Comic book guy

3. Yeah, but what are you going to do? -Homer

4. We need more secret sauce. Set this mayonaise out in the sun. - nerdy teen

5. We must kill the boy! - Granpa How did you know he was a vampire? - marge He's a vampire?!? AHHH!!! -Grandpa

6. Go banana! - Ralph

7. Cowabunga! - Bart

8. Don't have a cow, man. -Bart

9. Ya used me skinner! Ya used me! - Willie

10. First you get the sugar. Then you get the money. Then, you get the women. -Homer

11. A trambopoline! A trambopoline! -Homer

12. This is a dilly of a pickle! - Ned

13. Ijust came here to be poked, prodded, and humiliated. No one said anything about being insulted! -Homer

14. In this house, young lady, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! -Homer

15. And it had a sweet, melodic voice...just like Urkal! And it appears every Friday night...just like Urkal! -Homer

16. This elevator only goes to the basement. And somebody made an awful mess down there. -Grampa in a porta-potty

17. I'm going out back to use the outhouse. -Abe Outhouse??? Ahh!! My tool shed! -Homer

03-02-2002, 07:21 AM
"You thought they were dead! But they're not! But you thought they were! But they're not!" - Homer to Flanders after he puts police tape around Flanders' home and Flanders comes home thinking his family is dead.

Havoc Stryphe
03-02-2002, 08:09 AM
Come on Simpson, just use an open faced club, a sand wedge!

Ahhhh, open faced club sand wedge, ahhhhhh - Homer

"Suuure Lisa, like there's some kinda of magical animal that we get bacon, ham and porkchops from" - Homer

:D Gotta love those simpsons!

03-02-2002, 02:22 PM
I jump in front of cars and sue the drivers - Lisa's cousin.

Havoc Stryphe
03-02-2002, 02:56 PM
"Me fail english, that's unpossible!" - Ralph

Darth Simpson
03-02-2002, 05:52 PM
Marge : Well, everybody's got a fear of something.

Homer : Not everybody!

Marge : Sockpuppets...

Homer : Where, where?!?! Aaah, aaaah!

Darth Homer
03-02-2002, 08:25 PM
Homer: No t.v. and no beer make Homer something something...

Marge: Go CRAZY??



Homer: Ok, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Homer's Brain: Sounds good to me!!



03-02-2002, 08:44 PM
"This won't hurt one bit, UNTIL I SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"-Dr. Nick

"This is my bike, this is my swingset, and this is my sandbox (I'm not allowed to go in the deep end) And this is where I saw the Leprachaun, he tells me to burn things."- Ralph

Darth Homer
03-02-2002, 08:46 PM


03-02-2002, 10:46 PM
You all saw it, he came at me with a knife. - Hollywood executive

While doing my taxes I accidentally discovered that there's no God. - Homer.

Crazy_dog no.3
03-03-2002, 03:36 AM
Homey, give me some sign that u're awake.- Marge
[burp]- Homer

Wraith 8
03-03-2002, 12:02 PM
'No you got the wrong number, this is 9 1 euh 2' police chief.

'Ho... mer.... use... the... fo.....' Mark Hammil
'THE FORCE?' Homer
'NO.... the forks.... use the forks.' Mark Hammil

'Sorry i dont speak English' kwik e mart guy.
'but you just...' customer.
'Yes yes, no no. Hotdog Hotdog. kwik e mart guy.

03-03-2002, 09:41 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! Cobras! - Homer

Saxamaphone. Saxamaphone. - Homer

03-03-2002, 11:16 PM
Originally posted by Clefo

"This is my bike, this is my swingset, and this is my sandbox (I'm not allowed to go in the deep end) And this is where I saw the Leprachaun, he tells me to burn things."- Ralph
thants one of my favourites

Havoc Stryphe
03-04-2002, 07:18 AM
Homer, fearing Bart may be gay, takes Bart and sits him in front of a Billboard picturing women in bikinis and leaves Bart to stare at the image hoping it will bring Bart's testosterone levels back to "manly" levels. Unbeknownst to Homer it's actually a Billboard for Virginia Slims cigarettes. later on....

Homer: "So Bart, how do you feel now?"

Bart: "I feel like having a smoke."

Homer: "that's my boy!"

Bart: "Something slim..."

Homer: "D'oh!!!"

03-04-2002, 07:28 AM
"What's that mask? You think I should shoot everyone? *pulls out gun and points it at everyone* heh, don't worry everyone. I was just kidding." - Cheif Wiggum

03-04-2002, 09:45 AM
"i am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T . . . i mean S-M-A-R-T"

Also the "i am evil Homer" - devil homer dancing on good homer's grave - congo routine.

Speaking of Congos
"you don't win friends with salad" is also a fun one.

i guess these are funnier in context . . . but i'm including them anyway.

03-04-2002, 10:39 AM

OOH, donuts!

Both are homer.

03-04-2002, 10:50 AM
Homer as he bangs the top of a television:
"Stupid T.V., be more funny!!"

"To start press any key, where's the any key?"

Boba Rhett
03-04-2002, 11:00 AM
Oh oh!

"Were's that Tab I ordered?" :D

Darth Homer
03-04-2002, 12:03 PM
"PHHHHBBBB, English...who needs that, I'm never going to England." --Homer


Grandpa: "When you're old you have to watch for death everywhere...AAAAHHHH!!! DEATH!!"

Lisa: "That's the lamp."

Grandpa: "AAAAAHHHH!! DEATH!!!"

Lisa: "That's the cat!"

Geandpa: "AAAAHHHH!! DEATH!!!"

Lisa: "That's the lamp again!!"

(BTW, the Kwiki Mart guy is Apu)

Havoc Stryphe
03-04-2002, 12:19 PM
While Homer is working at the Kwiki Mart

Apu - "Mister Simpson, please go change the expiration dates on the milk"

03-04-2002, 06:48 PM
Heehee good thread.

RECORDED PHONE VOICE: "I'm sorry the fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand mash the keypad with your fist now. This is a recording"

Ralph: "Um...Miss Hoover, my worm crawled in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?"
Hoover: "No Ralph, just go to sleep while the other kids try and learn."
Ralph: "Oh Boy!!! Sleep!!! That's where I'm a Viking."

Burns: "Excellent"

Burns on Smither's computer:
"Hello...Smithers...you're...really...good..at...tu rning...me...on."

"Hi I'm Troy McLure. You may remember me from..."

Dr. Nick: "The leg bone's connected to the...knee bone...the knee bone's connected to the red thing...the red thing's connected to my wrist watch...Uh Oh!!"

There's so many more...

DarthNoodles ...

Darth Homer
03-05-2002, 12:12 AM
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"

"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"God bless those pagans.":D

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

"Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations: You may outsmart someone!"

"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb."

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"

"They have the Internet on computers, now?":eek:

all Homer, all the time

03-05-2002, 09:06 PM
seen in the background while the simpsons walk through china town: store, "Toys 'L Us"

Darth Homer
03-05-2002, 09:46 PM
Simpsons clip in Windows Media File (http://byosite.com/upload/SimpsonsPromo.asf)

Take a look at this and then try to guess which school I go to.

Havoc Stryphe
03-06-2002, 01:04 PM
Lionel Hutz - "Mr. Simpson, this is the worst case of Fraudelent Advertisment since my case against The Neverending Story!"

03-06-2002, 01:20 PM
LT Smash- Hey you join the navy
Leany- ok

Darth Homer
03-07-2002, 01:27 AM
Reverberating Doh (http://www.onebigknife.com/onebigknife/simpsons/doh_r.wav)

03-08-2002, 06:04 AM
Way too many to pick faves, but I'll try anyway!

"Sorry about your news, old chum. Do they know how many eggs it laid in your brain?"
"I prefer not to know... Frankly, one is too many!"

"Did anyone here see the movie 'Tron'?"
"Yes,.. I mean no."

"Internet?.. Is that thing STILL around?"

"I need tungsten to live!.. TUNGSTEN!!!"

"In your face, Space Coyote!"

And this one I used to use as my sig:

"That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth!"

03-08-2002, 09:47 AM
how about this one:


03-08-2002, 09:47 PM
"So What Do You Think Of The Lady Krusty Moustache Removal System Now, Angelique?" "It's Krusterrific, Johnny Unitas. But Is My Upper Lip Supposed To Bleed Like This?" "Probably."

Darth Homer
03-08-2002, 10:03 PM
Homer: "Whew! All finished!"

Amish guy: "'Tis a fine barn, but 'tis no swimming pool."

Homer: "Doheth!"