View Full Version : Research reveals truth behind turrets and the Death Star

Cpl. Shepard
07-08-2000, 04:42 AM
I found this on CNN.com (No, really!)

New Reasearch Reveals Truth About X-Wing Alliance

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - Today University of Minnesota researchers concluded a 3 year, 18 million dollar study to determine whether or not the Death Star in the popular space simulation game "X-Wing Alliance" has defensive turrets. The conclusion of the study comes on the heels of the recent and shocking discovery of a turret installed on Imperial-class Star Destroyers.

"This is a very pressing issue," said Doctor I. M. Adoofus, "Researchers at Harvard failed to uncover any conclusive evidence regarding [Death Star or Star Destroyer] turrets and could not sway the argument one way or the other. Our progress here is certainly historic." The study, completed this past Friday, proved that the Death Star does indeed have [turbolaser and ion cannon] turrets.

President Clinton has acknowledged the incredible discovery, "The new information regarding defensive turrets on spaceships in video games is no doubt one of the greatest acheivements of mankind. Our forefathers would have wanted it this way, and I believe that this wonderful discovery will help bring peace to the world."

The researchers have already been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize as of Saturday afternoon. The research is also being cited as a major catalyst in the recent peace talks between North and South Korea.

Doctor I. M. Adoofus and his team have already been given millions of dollars in grants to study whether or not Victory-class Star Destroyers, also in the aforementioned game, have turrets. It is said that finding the answer to that may solve world hunger and make Al Roker calm and subdued.

[This message has been edited by Cpl. Shepard (edited July 08, 2000).]

Commander 598
07-08-2000, 02:36 PM
I wish they would have called me for that study.Seriously its like getting money to play a game.


Seriously that would just make worse wars(COOL!!!)

It will eventully lead to this: The remaining frontier is space.

I'm ready and waiting http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

I like to defeat my opponents the old fashioned way...Brutaly

Pedro The Hutt
07-08-2000, 07:44 PM
My mom would call this kind of research: "Keeping the boys entertained/busy"
I think she's right.

I am your father.

07-11-2000, 03:49 PM
Do you know where it is, or do we just fly around and see where we draw fire from?
--Han Solo (Star Wars: The Last Command)

"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb