PDA

View Full Version : Radio Free Saturn


Zoom Rabbit
01-13-2000, 09:00 AM
What good is a rebellion if you don't have a political resistance radio station?

I am here and now declaring Radio Free Saturn on the air. Post your most outlandish and nonrelevant declarations here, and the miracle of computer-driven hyperelectric communication will make your sordid thoughts a mere mouseclick away.

I always thought mice squeaked, not clicked. Oh, well...

On with the show. I'll start. Blaze the engines a little longer tonight, lads! We want plenty of velocity when we reach the airport. In this day and age of radar, the element of surprise must be raced for--faster I say! The altitude is just no good for us--not enough oxygen, and the UV rays are making fierce hallucinations of armed clowns burst into the cockpit. Give me the stick and go get me some whiskey; the real men have serious flying to do...

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif Hah? Who's next?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
01-14-2000, 02:47 AM
Hmmph. You guys are no fun.

Kat
01-14-2000, 03:33 AM
Sure We're Fun! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif


------------------
much luv everyone
-<font color=pink>Kat</font>

TrinitY2K
01-14-2000, 05:46 AM
"I was swimming in the Caribbean. Animals were hiding behind the rock. Except the little fish. But they told me, he swears. Trying to talk to me to me to me..."

Zoom Rabbit
01-14-2000, 06:48 AM
Nine out of ten presidential candidates aren't financed by the Cosa Nostra.

Okay, seven out of ten...

Nameless One
01-14-2000, 11:59 AM
Very interesting.

lightbulba
01-14-2000, 08:06 PM
as i returned to my hundai, i noted several imprisoned elves posing as a jazz trio, although there were six of them or so, but there might as well have been six and a half. suddenly i felt an urge to twitch wildly--half an elf was poking me with a cattle prod! (as you'll soon see, cattle prods are a recurring theme in this anecdote of sorts.) as i lost conciousness, i was lulled to a state of dream by the seven, no, eight revolving heads of the late comic chris farley.

*********************************************

i woke up in a hospital bed surrounded by big neddy, a stunt double for chris farley, and a toothpick, a stunt double for callista flockheart. "are you all right?" asked neddy; "no, but you know what'll make me..." i replied, winking uncontrollably. i felt my soul being massaged by the swaying rythms of war's lowrider, being beaten down, down, into the ground by korn's falling away from me, at which point i promptly fainted on ducky, emitting a deafening quack.

next.

------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited January 14, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
01-15-2000, 06:27 AM
You call this a castle? Geese everywhere, and not enough outlets! Some day the lord will come back from the crusades, and it'll be a rude awakening for some. No more basketball! Wipe your sabatons on the drawbridge! Somebody fetch me my bow; I have a whole box of pencils, and I want to see how far I can make them go.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif?

Bad kitty! Look what you've done! By cancelling out the refractive coefficient for pi, you've completely locked all positive sine waves into infinitely regressive logarithms! No tuna tonight...

Next?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
01-17-2000, 07:38 AM
<font color=orange>...Thus we can take this function of increasing incomprehensibility, reevaluate it on strictly limitless crtiteria based in random chance, and still completely fail to undermine our own personal sense of drastic, non-linear confusion in an early digital/late industrial anthropological context!</font>

Or, in the words of some punk with a shotgun:

<font color=yellow>"When did my personal emphasis on seeking the purity of perfection switch to seeking the perfection of purity?"</font>

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited January 20, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
01-20-2000, 12:33 AM
<font size=5>Electric Sheep Jokes!</font>

Q: "Why did the electric sheep cross the road?"
A: "Because a negative charge on the other side precipitated electromagnetic attraction."

"Does an electric sheep have a Buddha nature?"

Q: "Knock! Knock!"
A: "Who's there?"
Q: "Electric sheep!"
A: "Electric sheep who?"
Q: "Baaa!" *Fzap! Crackle!*

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
01-20-2000, 04:21 AM
<font size=1>Lightbulba? No sooba baghwashka?</font>

Hyperspherical postfrontal transcendentalism! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Zoom Rabbit
01-20-2000, 04:27 AM
"...So this electric sheep walks into a bar and sez, 'gimme a shot of whiskey.' The bartender sez, 'We don't serve your kind in here.' So the electric sheep discharges 112,000 kilowatts of static electricity into the bar, instantly frying the bartender and all the patrons. Moral: don't mess with electric sheep."

<font size=1>Now why is everyone being so quiet?</font>

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

echobase_69
01-20-2000, 07:38 AM
Where did you get those from?
Sorry, I haven't really made the connection with those quotes either....

------------------
The trouble with heroine, or so I've heard, is that it's rather moreish

Zoom Rabbit
01-20-2000, 08:15 AM
No quotes. No sources.

This space cowboy don't work with a net, buck-o! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

"Get away from that pressure hatch! Twelves inches of space are all that are separating us from your butt and being sucked bodily into the frigid airlessness of eternal space! Do you want 'stupid cabin monkey' etched on your tombstone? Oh, wait--there wouldn't be one! Just a quick-frozen meat popsicle, ruptured at the cellular level, forever wearing an expression of complete surprise and floating endlessly in a long solar orbit of its own..."

You get on the bus. You pay your quarter. I take you places. That's all.

Did I mention that Radio Free Saturn has an open mike policy? Tonight just happens to be amateur night! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited January 20, 2000).]

BeastMaster
01-20-2000, 08:55 PM
With hosts like you, every night is amateur night.

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
01-20-2000, 10:58 PM
<font color=blue><font size=1>Now that you'e leaned so far forward that your nose feels staticky and squinted just to read this, aren't you sorry you even bothered in the first place?</font></font>

echobase_69
01-21-2000, 06:14 AM
Please accept my apology Mr. Rabbit.

------------------
The trouble with heroine, or so I've heard, is that it's rather moreish

Zoom Rabbit
01-21-2000, 08:22 AM
Apologize to an oversexed rodent with silly ears? Whatever for, man?

Zoom Rabbit just bought X-Wing for his PC. Violence is really a lot of fun! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
01-22-2000, 07:34 PM
"Last one alive. Shields down, ship on fire. If I could get the computers online, I could send a distress call--not that any help could possibly arrive in time. This whole beastly star system is full of one-man fighters...they snipped away our shields, then the fun began. I've got the engines jacked into what's left of life support, and we're heading out of the system at full impulse. I can get away from the slower fighters, but now there are capital ships closing in. I'm going to load this log into the emergency beacon and jettison it, in hopes word gets back to Starfleet...don't make fun of the silly little TIE fighters!!!"

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
01-23-2000, 05:07 PM
. . .Unless you can back it up.

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
01-24-2000, 06:54 AM
<font color=yellow>"Elves are delicious! I wouldn't have thought the fat guy could put up so much of a fight, though..."</font>

And the reindeer?

<font color=yellow>"Too stringy...and I ain't eatin' no animal that glows in the dark!"</font>

I guess I won't be getting coal next year...

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
01-24-2000, 07:36 PM
"Why is the sky blue?"

"What does a whale think a submarine is?"

"Does the wise man on the mountain top have the whole world up his butt?"

So many questions. So few hostages. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

lightbulba
01-24-2000, 10:07 PM
i was quick to think that the dollar bill shoved down the throat of a goeduck posted on the side of a barb wire fence was a disastrous take on western symbolism. being with myst and riven co-creator rand miller at the time, i tried to act natural; thus, i evaluated and expanded on the idea. only a few facts were clear in my mind:

1. the catastrophe had to be influenced by someone with a vast knowledge of anatomy; i could object to geoducks having throats with quiet but timely ease. the person i have in mind here is big neddy.

2. a few is about one.

the lucid somophore bottle cap was an inspiring piece...i'd have to leave the problems to the wind; the lawn was freshly vacuumed, and the breeze was stale. i picked up a pail and a personally patented packet of papers; it was time to terrify the torrent temporaries.

------------------
thespian thermodynamics think thistle. but what of cockatoo coccyges?
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited January 24, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
01-25-2000, 05:38 AM
<font color=red>CLAM SAUCE!!!</font> http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

I never did trust those buggers. They go best in a nice fettucine alfredo, if you ask me...

<font color=blue>"...Flaccid rock art of the diseased minds who died centuries ago should never be brought into a twenty-first century architecture symposium. Away with ye! Take the victim's credentials, issue some less suitable clothing and turn him loose on the streets to fend for biscuits. Arr!"</font>

I have a silver dollar. It has one ounce of pure silver in it, which is worth much more than a dollar. What the hell is going on here?

?.........???......?

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

echobase_69
01-25-2000, 08:16 AM
Bacofoil!? That's my nuclear fallout suit. One day the bombs are gonna drop and I'm gonna be ready.

Zoom Rabbit
01-26-2000, 07:46 AM
Hold it! Stop!

Before this radio show goes any further, I want to know, here and now--and without any obfuscation or misdirection--exactly what the hell <font color=yellow>processed cheese food</font> is supposed to be!!!

These are serious issues that need to be resolved.

<font color=orange><font size=1>Quack?</font></font>

Shh. Not now.

President Reagan
01-26-2000, 07:54 AM
Well...I can't seem to remember why I came here, or where this is. But I'm sure it's something I once did not fail to recognize before.

Who are all these people?

Can I have some medicine now?

------------------
"I'm sorry...what was the question?"

Zoom Rabbit
01-26-2000, 08:00 AM
<font color=blue>Well wax my hair and call me squeaky! It's President Reagan! Over here, sir--we have you signed up to help make sandwiches in the lobby. If you'll just follow me...</font>

I expect to find this submarine absolutely spotless by the time I get back!

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
01-28-2000, 05:22 PM
Quick, somebody paint spots on the submarine.

Big yellow ones. . .

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-01-2000, 07:56 AM
Well, now!

Radio Free Saturn is back on the air!!! A well-placed terrorist psychokinetic pulse of some kind cause my monitor to go <font color=yellow>FZAP--!</font> <font size=1>*Twinkle*</font>

...But things are going just fine now. I like the spots, so they can stay...but that life-size cardboard cut-out of Captain kirk in a dress willl have to go.

I've noticed something. No matter where I go, the center of the Earth is always straight down.

...and it's really starting to creep me out!

<font size=1><font color=red>"Full speed ahead! We still haven't lost that bastard!"</font></font>

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Darth Crater
02-01-2000, 11:43 PM
Oops, sorry, just stumbled onto this thread by accident!

*slowly backs away*

I won't be back!

Zoom Rabbit
02-02-2000, 10:59 PM
Too late!

*(Zoom Rabbit isolates Crater with an angular confinement beam an transports her into a holding cell.)*

You're the guest of honor, now! Haw! Haw! Haw! Have some brandy. Cigar? Tell us about your latest tour of the Indian subcontinent. Where you able to verify that that Ghandi figure is indeed dead and not preparing to come back like some hundred-something year old voodoo thrash vampire?

<font size=1>I'm just scared, that's all...</font>

BeastMaster
02-03-2000, 01:32 PM
No, Ghandi won't be back. He's human, not Vodun, and the Vodun aren't interested in using him as a host since his body was too frail to make a good warrior.

You're right to be scared though. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
02-03-2000, 08:09 PM
Thank God for entropy! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

(As the philosophers, scientists and thelogians in the house are chewing on that one, I'll get on with the program.)

<font color=orange>"...Why does it have to be so dark down here? The rats are everywhere, and the constant dripping noises echoing endlessly can drive one insane in less than an hour. Man, these tunnels go on forever! I'll bet that if you follow deep enough, you'll wander into hell itself. Is this a body? No matches left, and I don't want to see it anyway. My only hope is finding a ladder up, or grates, or something...otherwise I'm just waiting for the next s***ter to flush. Crap!"</font>

I wonder if the local pot smokers know that <font color=green>4-20</font> is actually Adolf Hitler's birthday? Yikes!

It has been proven by valid scientific means that when a subject stuffs a dollar bill in a parking meter, time is frozen forever. We are ourselves not aware of the event, since the freezing of time effectively destroys that quantum timeline, but other realities (us) continue on in other timelines.

--So don't try it! Not only will you get a ticket for ruining public property, you will destroy and entire universe by doing so!!! <font size=1>Ooops. I just gave them ideas, didn't I?</font>

Important disclaimer: Zoom Rabbit is actually a very sophisticated artificial intelligence routine, and as such is not held legally responsible for the results of its random string generations. So there.

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
02-04-2000, 08:41 AM
<font color=red>"...Woo-hoo! I just rode into town ahead of them injuns, and boy am I thirsty! Anyone wanna buy an authentic injun chief's peace pipe, still smouldering? Get away from my horse! He's from the future--he doesn't eat oats, but drinks a petroleum distillate. Anyone interested in authentic Sioux medicine bags? Back off my rifle, son! That ain't no Winchester you're toying with! Ever see what a clip of AP fifty-caliber machine gun rounds can do to an injun war party? Buckskins! I've got authentic injun buckskins here--still warm, some blood stains. I'm hanging onto the turquoise jewelry, though...it'll be worth a fortune back in my time!"</font>

"...Hello. This is john Lennon's Ghost. I just wanted to see if any of you were interested in subscribing to Dead Rock Stars Today. This month's edition has a review of this year's handgun models by Jimi Hendrix, and Elvis' secret recipe for beer barbecued pork ribs."

No! Get OUT of here! You should have taken your crazy girlfriend with you...! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

<font color=yellow>"...Is it true that the ancient Egyptians invented pinball? And what about line dancing? Which inbred Scottish Highland hillbilly came up with that fevered notion?"</font>

We don't need gears! Strip 'em--I don't care! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited February 04, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-04-2000, 09:10 AM
<font color=orange>BANZAI TERIYAKI CHICKEN:</font>

<font size=1>In addition to racing jet podracers, piloting Rebel space fighters, hosting an underground radio station and comparing the insights of both western and eastern mysticism, Zoom Rabbit also cooks for a living. The following recipe is his gift to his listeners. Bone appetite! (Yes, I know I misspelled that! C'etait une blague, utulisante les similarities entre le francais et l'anglais...mais probablement ce point soit perdu pour ces cochons.) Anyway.</font>

Step one: the chili rub.

Get some nice, hot serrano or scotch bonnet chili peppers. This recipe is not for wussies. Anyway, peel an onion and cut it into sections...roast them along with your whole peppers on the backyard grill. After they've cooled, remove the chili stems, toss the chilis and onion in the cuisinart, along with: cider vinegar, olive oil, tabasco, a dash of wocestershire, whole garlic cloves, salt and pepper. Puree the stuff, balancing vinegar and oil until you get a thick, slushy consistency.

Step two: the teriyaki sauce.

Make it from scratch. If you can't handle this, you don't deserve to be eating nice food, and you should go to McDonald's for dinner. The key to this recipe is to use orange juice instead of pineapple juice in your sauce. Fresh squeeze some valencia oranges if you can...if not, the bottled juice will have to do (*sigh*). Heat your orange juice along with a healthy dash of soy sauce and a big handful of brown sugar (taste for sweetness) until boiling. Thicken with a corn starch slurry (a little starch mixed with cold water.) Season your teriyaki with a little ginger and cumin, or whatever spices you feel like using--it's your sauce. The sauce should be thick enough to cling to a spoon, then allowed to cool uncovered in a refrigerator.

Step three: cooking the monster.

Prepare your chicken by coating it with your chili rub and allowing it to sit out while you get the backyard grill started. When the coals are glowing, throw your chicken on the grill. Walk over to the tree and find some dry sticks; throw them on the coals, then drop the lid on your grill and let them chicken smoke like bandits. When the chicken is halfway done, brush on your teriyaki sauce (it should have thickened to a nice glaze overnight). You know the chicken is done when you can whack through the thickest part of the drumstick and find no blood in the marrow. Due to this dish's spiciness, I suggest serving it with lots of starchy rice to cool it down.

That's it. Yummy eatings, all. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif


------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

lightbulba
02-05-2000, 01:33 AM
and now, an essay on coherency:
no, johnny! no...
hmph. what now? we're lost out here in the middle of the desert, with nothing but a couple barrels of vodka and some danimals! and some growth hormones, so we can see the moon! aye, here's to you, sanders--
an' what about johnny? are we just gonna leave 'im 'ere? what do you fancy we should do otherwise? i'm not hinting at anything, but the cranky tapioca-bottom probably whittled his way to this injured state. aw, what? can't you take an iota o' ye olde sympathy? dammit, man! sorry.i don't see why we need to take the training wheels off... stop yer yappin! no trainin' wheels until we figure out what to do with appleseed here. all right, you heard the man. fetch me neosporin! and some anesthetic! you don't need anesthetic for that, fascist! fascist, i'm not! anesthetic? why not use notting hill as usual? shut up! julia roberts shoulda gotten that golden globe. *sniffle* an' me training wheels? yes, we can take 'em off for ye... off? he wants 'em back on! johnny, snap out of it! what's this? the anesthetic's taking effect! *sniffle*
------------------
jumping jumpers! johnny's got them candy-color glasses! sigh, i be cornered, lose the training wheels! was that a vocalization? dammit, man!
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg
big moral dilemma:
should he lose the training wheels? will johnny be saved? post opinions to flyaway_fatboy69@yahoo.com .

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited February 04, 2000).]

President Reagan
02-05-2000, 07:35 AM
Ladies and gentlement, this is your president, Ronnie. Let's see. Well, I've got my banjo here, and my dog Rusty...and we're gonna...well, we're just gonna...uhh...just what were we--?

<font color=red>"Bark!"

<font color=orange>"Secret Service here. Get the president backstage and administer his medicine. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid that tonight's concert has been cancelled."</font>

Zoom Rabbit
02-05-2000, 07:40 AM
That's okay. It probably wasn't worth sitting through anyway.

He wanted to bring his horse up there with him, but I refused. We just aren't equipped to deal with fetid ponycakes of that magnitude.

Maybe I should cancel the Jimmy Carter and Marilyn Manson debates I have scheduled for tomorrow night...

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
02-10-2000, 01:28 PM
Whoa! Careful, Zoom Rabbit, Radio Free Saturn almost went down in (or should I say 'as') history!

Keep posting people!


------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

lightbulba
02-10-2000, 07:43 PM
the results are in!
votes for:
should he lose the training wheels? (y/n):
yes: 0
no: 0
should johnny be saved? (y/n):
yes: 0
no: 0

with any luck, it's intended to be a double negative and the pack will give appleseed some prosthetic training wheels until he hits the rocker.
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited February 10, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-11-2000, 04:10 AM
Spinach my ass!

And what's he got in that pipe, anyway?

Darth Crater
02-12-2000, 09:47 PM
C'etait une blague, utulisante les similarities entre le francais et l'anglais...mais probablement ce point soit perdu pour ces cochons.

Alors, M. Lapin. Le point n'etait pas perdu pour tous ici. Et les petits lettres ne t'aides pas. Peut-etre vous voulez chercher une autre langue pour nous insulter? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

lightbulba
02-13-2000, 12:13 PM
porcs? je suis une perte pour des mots.
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited February 13, 2000).]

roguetwo
02-13-2000, 02:59 PM
I am too, Lightbulba.

<font color=blue>The Bio-degradable remote control quintuple-bypass integral surgery in Hungary, San Fransisco went well, thank you.
</font>

[This message has been edited by roguetwo (edited February 13, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
02-13-2000, 07:30 PM
<font color=orange>"...Une autre langue? Pourquoi? Le francais (la langue des cochons francais) est obvieusement le meilleur.</font> http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I have kidnapped several key thinkers from history (with the use of my time machine/transporter) and assembled a top-notch think panel. Aristotle is here, along with Einstein, Hawking, Yeshua, Newton, Gautama and others. My purpose? To answer the question: "Do penguins like the water?"

Well? Do they?

*(Key historical figures exchange astonished glances. Much shrugging.)*

<font color=orange>Stephen Hawking: "Well, they seem to."</font>

<font color=red>Siddartha Gautama: "I get it."</font>

<font color=yellow>Yeshua: "Me, too."</font>

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

lightbulba
02-13-2000, 09:10 PM
reader poll:
why do you wish "yxput" was a word? is it...
a - pickup lines (i.e. "give me your input on this yxput")
b - scrabble (i.e. "hey! 'yxput' isn't a word!" "yes it is!" "oh yeah? use it in a sentence." "all right... 'hey! would you look at that yxput?'" "oh, okay."
c - you're looking for a rhyme for "slit foot" (i.e. "aye-eee!)
d - beastmaster's blasted word game (i.e. "eat my dust, crater!")
send your worthless discharge to flyaway_fatboy69@yahoo.com .
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited February 13, 2000).]

wizzywig
02-14-2000, 12:56 AM
Zoomer--

We tried your recipe for Banzai Teriyaki Chicken (we were out of chicken and substituted unborn goat). It was very good--only two casualties, none fatal.

The Scotch bonnet peppers (or Habaneros, as we call them out here on the Left Coast) reminded me of one of my favorite recipes, which I now share with you:

Jamaican Jerked Gungan

First, prepare a marinade of:

3 tbsp ground allspice
1 tbsp thyme
2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp salt
3 mashed cloves of fresh garlic
3 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup white vinegar (or rice vinegar)
1/4 cup orange juice concentrate
juice of 1 or 2 limes
1 Scotch bonnet pepper (if unavailable, serranos or jalapenos may be substituted, but quadruple amount and be sure to include all the seeds)
1 cup white onion, chopped
3 or 4 green onions, chopped

Add meat to the marinade. Make sure the Gungan is either freshly killed or fresh-flash-frozen (available in the alien foods section at Trader Joe's).

Note: Gungan flesh develops a distinctly fishy flavor if left out long at room temperature; the marinade, however, will keep any off flavor from forming.

Marinate for at least three hours under refrigeration. Grill over hot coals, preferably mesquite or Nabooian kooferi wood. Meat is done when crackling crisp outside, pinkish-gray inside. When stuck with a fork, juices should run clear. If the juice is streaked with green and yellow goo, continue grilling a little longer.

I've heard that this recipe is also good with chicken, pigeon, pork, dog, cat, harbor seal, and kangaroo rat as well.

--wiz

Zoom Rabbit
02-14-2000, 06:59 AM
<font color=red>"Fetch me my speargun and snorkel! Dinner's on!"</font>

If anyone had told me, twenty-five years ago, that Fonzie and Howie would be respected movie directors, I would have smacked myself in the head with my own shoe and asked for directions to the train museum.

<font color=orange>*Bing!* "...Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If any of our passengers happen to be carrying a socket wrench, please inform the nearest stewardess. Thank you."</font>

<font size=5><font color=red>Crunch!</font></font>

<font color=orange>*Bing!* "...Ladies and gentlemen, for your inflight entertainment we will now be simulating combat acceleration maneuvers. Please return your seats to the upright position and buckle your seatbelts..."</font>

Is this gun only for shooting bullets, or can I use it as a kitchen utensil as well? I could make lovely spiral carrots by forcing them through the barrel...

<font size=1>Glad you liked the banzai bird, Wiz...I'll divulge my secret recipe for Jamaican Banana Romanoff this coming Wednesday. Shhh...</font> http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos rubber-duckie between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited February 14, 2000).]

Darth Crater
02-15-2000, 01:09 AM
One vote for yxput! Then the voting is anonymous! It's officially a word!

(btw, the answer is D) http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Darth Crater (edited February 14, 2000).]

wizzywig
02-15-2000, 04:24 AM
[This message has been edited by Darth Crater (edited February 14, 2000).]

Not edited enough. Try again.

--wizzywig

Zoom Rabbit
02-15-2000, 06:08 AM
<font color=green>"...Live, from stylish and exciting Cow Corners, Utah...we are pleased to bring you the one, the only: "Dwarfsleezle!"</font> http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Oh, nevermind. That wasn't going anywhere I'd care to be. Let's see...howzabout we make fun of the space program?

<font color=orange>"...Our latest scans of the asteroid have located some curious anomalies on the leading edge. The metallic scrap and debris seen in the photograph here has been positively identified as the Mars Polar Lander. We suspect that an error was made in downloading metric calculations into the spacecraft's mainframe, and that it attempted to land on the wrong celestial body. We should nevertheless point out that we finally found it..."</font>

Message to the president: at least JFK had enough class to get a hotel room! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

<font color=blue>"...I've discovered that drinking cognac affects the way gravity operates in my immediate vicinity. I'm currently working on a spacecraft engine that takes advantage of this principle. France, at least, is interested."</font>

<font color=red>"...Don't you be getting all zappy with ME, monkey-boy! This cockpit is just FULL of buttons, and you don't want me to start pushing them...!"</font>

Which way to the drive-in? I have childhood memories to relive...

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Darth Crater
02-16-2000, 12:18 AM
I meant, unanimous. There.

Zoom Rabbit
04-13-2000, 07:10 AM
A lone rabbit scrabbles his way up through the pipes, finding his way to the abandoned control booth.

Wires dangle. Water drips somewhere.

The rabbit hacks the power cables into the main grid, bringing the pirate radio station on the air once more. He dusts off the records and wonders if there are any carrots stashed away...

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

wizzywig
04-13-2000, 02:08 PM
Lepus zoomicus!

Zoomer lives!

Hey, man, we thought you were dead (i.e., a fallen hare). Welcome back!

--wiz



[This message has been edited by wizzywig (edited April 13, 2000).]

BeastMaster
04-13-2000, 06:34 PM
We never thought you were dead, just that the hare had split. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
04-13-2000, 07:57 PM
This one is indeed back in cyberspace. Barring further technical difficulties, the Eared One should be back for good.

Who would have guessed you can't fix a computer with a hammer?

Jamaican Banana Romanoff:

<font color=yellow>First, get a bottle of dark rum, some brown sugar, some allspice and ginger...bananas, of course, some whipped cream, drawn butter and vanilla ice cream. You'll need a frying pan for this, although it's a dessert, and a Russian Imperialist monarch for the Romanoff part (hard to find.)</font>

Drink the rum, fuzzing your mind until there are two bottles to choose from. Peel your bananas and cut them into slices, then coat them in brown sugar. Sautee them in your frying pan with just a drizzle of butter, then set them aside to cool. Drink some more rum; after all, you now have an extra bottle.

<font color=orange>In a mixing bowl, mix together the whipped cream, some bown sugar and spices, and a dash of rum (if there's any left.) Spoon the whipped cream over the ice cream and the bananas over that; serve to the Russian monarch, and offer him some rum. It's hard being the scourge of the working class.</font>

Note: some people like shaved coconut served with this, but the Czar and I don't have time for any foo-foo silliness. We have a country to retake, and what we really need is some more rum.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Conor
04-14-2000, 03:10 PM
Good to have you back. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

I take it your computer life took a turn for the worse?

------------------
"If there were not God, there would be no atheists."
-G.K. Chesterton

Zoom Rabbit
04-16-2000, 05:02 AM
Howdy, and thanks! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Actually, my computer was just fine. My roommate's computer, which we have connected to the internet, went nutzo for a while (I don't even understand why). I thought about using mine, but it isn't set up for it yet, and I have little carboard cheat tabs (I've been playing XvT!) all over the keyboard...so I never got around to it. But he finally got his fixed, and here I am. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

What have i missed?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

wizzywig
04-16-2000, 10:17 PM
What have i missed?


While you were gone, Zoom, all the planets lined up in syzygy, creating a gravity tunnel that sent the earth crashing into the sun. Human history came to an end. All life was extinguished.

Then I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

But if I were you, I wouldn't leave this forum again. The next time might be for real.

--wiz

Zoom Rabbit
04-18-2000, 07:45 AM
*!*

My goodness! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Tonight's broadcast will have to be dedicated to the American sense of optimism, whose passing we mourn on this date. If we can't save democracy, we can at least barn-dance madly till the moonshine's gone.

<font color=green>"...Observe if you will the subject's beady little eyes, his puffy eyelids half-shading a lazy selfish disregard for the common good and sneering out the corner at what is left of his conscience. The hair, totally white now, tells the stress of having backdealt so many different times that he can no longer be sure which lie he is supposed to be believing. The subject's general corpulence is noted by his shiny forehead, the butt-like chin and the chilling mask of party-boy harmlessness. But it is only an illusion; this creature must be dragged from office immediately and put on the cable news channel where we can keep an eye on him. He could do sports."</font>

Houston? You're breaking up!

<font color=orange>"...Dammid, Marfa! Where are my teef! Da Britis are coming, and I can'd find my teef!"</font>

Well, nobody told me we were wearing clothing today! Like it's my fault...



------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
04-20-2000, 04:18 PM
We interrupt this program to annoy you, and to make things generally irritating for you.

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
04-21-2000, 05:28 AM
Pythons!

...Right? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Zoom Rabbit
04-22-2000, 05:54 AM
"...Until we find a place to keep this elephant, Timmy, I'm afraid he's going to have to stay in the garage. We'll bring out some nice cushions, a lamp, maybe some dancing Elvis wall clocks to keep him company. If the neighbors find out about him, though, it's all for nothing. You just know how those bastards love a barbecue...!"

If I keep watering this lawn chair, will I have plastic flowers for Easter? Last year was so dreary, what with the seven-foot blue turtles and screaming koala bears everywhere...no time for tea, no tea free of taxation. Even tea on the moon is taxed nowadays...but they always try to keep it at a steady price in China.

"...Woo-HOO! We got us a four wheel drive, some C-4, six cases of orca tranquilizers and enough beer to strip the statue of liberty naked. We're going to Disneyland!"

<font color=red><font size=1>Um...excuse me. Is this where we sign up for the Samurai nose-whistling class?</font></font>

One more outburst like that, and I'm turning the entire world wide web into a fast food franchise! You want fries with that?

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif!

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

wizzywig
04-22-2000, 08:14 AM
*!?!?!*

[This message has been edited by wizzywig (edited April 22, 2000).]

wizzywig
04-22-2000, 08:16 AM
Oops!

I thought this was Radio Free Saturn, but it looks like I stumbled into Radio Free Bizarro World instead!


<font color=red><font size=1>Look, Miss Lane! It's Bizarro Superman! But why is he wearing a pair of deely-bobbers on his head?</font></font>

<font color=blue><font size=1>*gasp!* That's not Bizarro Superman, Jimmy! That's-- Oh, no! Run, Jimmy, Run! It's Zoom Rabbit! We have to get out of here before he sees us or-- Ohmigosh! Too late! Oh, Jimmy, not even Superman can save us now!</font></font>

--woozywig

Zoom Rabbit
04-23-2000, 06:06 AM
Superman? Gee, I've always wanted to meet the man of steel.

Take this five-pound emerald as a token of my esteem...

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

lightbulba
04-23-2000, 01:20 PM
you can consider my internment over. i just got premotived!
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited April 23, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
04-24-2000, 05:35 AM
Lightbulba! Well, wax my feet and call me Surf-Lad...! Howzit goin' there, space ranger?

Is the state of being realized as important as realizing the state of being?

<font color=orange>"...Arr, lads. We'll just ram into that pier over there, send the tourists a-runnin'! Watch 'em--scurryin' like bilge rats in bright pastel spandex leisure wear. Blow the air-horn, yes! Strike the very fear of the devil in 'em, and maybe we'll make 'em stampede, trample the weakers ones underfoot. There'll be rotgut on the table tonight, for sure!"</font>

Nine out of ten presidents aren't members of the Lithuanian mafia.

<font color=yellow>"...Until such a time as we can assess our own changing trend of self-compatibility becoming fresh annoyance, and at which point the affairs of overseas entertainment barons cease to have any lasting effect on the idle fortitude of the dwarf population, one shall simply have to rely on one's own inner sense of recently compounded trust in the principles of the depressed ancient Assyrian economy to resolve any profound questions concerning the value of Chinese medicinal green tea."</font>

Can I get six volunteers to help me storm that windmill over there?

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif



------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
04-26-2000, 06:37 AM
If a tree falls in a forest, on top of the only person capable of hearing it...will that person reincarnate with an unreasonable and unexplained fear of silent trees?

"Is the glass half empty or half full?"
"Give me your glass!"

No, I don't want you to biggie-size my fries. <font size=1>Please stop scaring me.</font>

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Hile Tr0y
04-26-2000, 10:40 PM
I love cats, too! We must exchange recipes sometime.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood?

Get back here, you irritating little daemon! NO! Leave those Smurfs ALONE! Goddamnit, that's the tenth one today...

Ahhh! My eyes! Where are my eyes!

Just some random silliness,
Hile Tr0y

------------------
"There Is Nothing Left To Lose"

lightbulba
04-27-2000, 12:03 AM
grep this, grep that...whoa! espresso!
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited April 26, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
04-27-2000, 07:48 AM
Why 'Radio Free Saturn,' you say?

Simple really. The planet's rings give me a broadband radio transmitter powerful enough to jam the very sun when the time comes to launch my evil plans...

<font size=1>Then again.</font>

<font color=red>"...That Jedi sure thought he was hot s**t, 'til I had him beamed out into space! I guess the Force didn't prepare him for Federation technology."</font>

A high-powered rifle that fired cubic zirconia slugs would be a really deadly--albeit expensive--weapon.

<font color=yellow>"...Yes, I'm definitely sure that something's changed now. The light is rippling, and my brain is turning into a three-pound bullfrog. Monkies on the wall. Where did those damn hippies go? Where's my gun? Should I arrest the giant glowing lizard...hell, is he real in the first place? Oh, no. Not the mirror. How real is that, I ask you, not without some inner sense of perverse pleasure in the abandon of it all. Ten thousand reasons to own scotch tape, but not ONE Scotsman would agree with them. Wicked cannibals dance freely about the bonfire now...the sun is down. Bonfire? Drums? I really need a vacation."</font>

If aliens found a package of Twinkies floating in deep space, what would they extrapolate about our civilization based on it?

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
04-28-2000, 04:24 PM
After a very careful and thourough evaluation, I've come to the conclusion that human civilization has only two redeeming features: Ice cream and Pizza.

Wipe them out, all of them.

Wormhole generators make cool weapons. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
04-29-2000, 05:34 AM
It should be noted that while an entrenching tool might double as medicinal anesthesia in a pinch, it should never be used for harvesting (not counting potatoes) or depicted with other tools in a religious context.

People are superior to cats because they have overcome their fear of vacuum cleaners.

If a naked, blue Scotsman demanded my wallet...I would ask where he intended to put it if I did.

Kylilin
04-29-2000, 05:55 AM
I'm funny how, I mean funny like a clown, I amuse you, I make you laugh, whatta ya mean funny, funny how, how am I funny.

------------------
Nice
http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Kylilin
04-29-2000, 05:59 AM
Are you sure you read that in a book? are you sure it wasn't nothing?

------------------
Nice
http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
04-29-2000, 08:02 AM
<font size=20><font color=orange>?</font></font>

Not only did Carl Sagan smoke marijuana, he credited it with many profound inspirations.

Darth MauI
04-29-2000, 03:15 PM
.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/rickherbjr/graphics/darthmaul.jpg (http://i.am/neomatrix)

" Fear is my Ally.. "

Darth MauI
04-29-2000, 03:18 PM
<font color="#0076fa">
Tell me if you can hear "Duel of Fates" I'm putting it in this post.

<font color=white> yes, we heard it, and it sure bogs down the thread. I removed it - Ike</font>

------------------
http://members.aol.com/rickherbjr/graphics/darthmaul.jpg (http://i.am/neomatrix)

" Fear is my Ally.. "

[This message has been edited by Ikhnaton (edited May 04, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
04-29-2000, 05:36 PM
I'm afraid the only music I'm hearing is 'Duel of Egos.' http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Why is this thread suddenly turning into a photo opportunity...?

BeastMaster
05-01-2000, 06:44 PM
Damn papparazzi!

<small>everywhere I go. . .</small>

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Kylilin
05-01-2000, 09:48 PM
its Kraft Cheese & Macaroni, not Macaroni & Cheese

------------------
lets turn up the heat!!!!
http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/krillinwannabess.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-02-2000, 06:09 AM
That's it! No more candy and soda pop for you terrorist rug weasels! The mayor is coming for dinner tonight, and you peripatetic road turtles have mowed the carpet and painted the dog green...!

<font color=orange>"...Twice a day, every day, and your car will sparkle with lemony freshness. So remember: 'A good housewife knows when to buy her man ZOOP brand life enhancer!'" *Ding!* "Yessiree, Bob...looks like you got floor gnomes! Don't bother pulling up the boards; the only way to put the sassafrass in a floor gnome is to hose that mommadog real good with lead bullets...!"</font>

Weel, now we--huh? What? Oh, all right. Ladies and eight foor six-limbed aliens, our new friend Pink Monkey has something he'd like to say.

Pink Monkey
05-02-2000, 06:13 AM
I think the world would be a lot happier if people would just not own telephones, or cars, or teevees. No distractions, just life. Refrigerators are okay, though. That and Nintendo.

Get rid of cement, too.

Can I have that banana now?



------------------
"Eep! Eep! Eep!"

Kylilin
05-02-2000, 06:32 AM
Pink Monkey, your message makes me think of one thing, and one thing only: dancing in a tub of wet noodles with a bra on my head, with several monkies and dogs cheering me on.



------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-03-2000, 05:37 AM
My sources tell me that the assassins were really after the driver, and JFK just got in the way.

My sources also live in a cardboard box, out in the alley. I paid a grocery bag full of empty cans for this information...

Chai masala tea? Yum, I'd love some! *Sip...ptagh!* What the hell is this? It tastes like freaking cinnamon!

*(Zoom Rabbit barges into the kitchen and grabs a box of tea packets from the astonished chef.)*

Instant chai masala tea?!? You're fired, tubbs...go try pulling that crap down at the old folks' home, 'cause it ain't gonna fly here. You see, Zoom Rabbit worked in a real Punjabi Indian restaurant, and he learned how to make chai from people who didn't speak his language at all. Oh, no. This recipe, my friends, is a hard-won culinary treasure...and here it is:

Chai Masala Tea:

This is an easy recipe--in fact, all you need is one pot, a strainer and a jug to strain it into. You can make it by the fire as you're watching the goats. It's best to have authentic Indian music playing while you make it, but The Moody Blues will do in a pinch.

Fill your pot with three quarts of water, two rounded teaspoons of black Mamri tea and seven teaspoons of sugar. Add a pinch of fennel seed, a pinch of 'ajwan' (an Asian spice, looks like fennel seed), then take seven whole green and two brown cardamoms...crush them with a rock and throw them in. Let boil 15 minutes.

Watch the goats grazing or keep a sharp eye for cobras while the tea boils. After the tea has reduced a bit, add milk to bring it back to its original level. Bring back to a boil, then remove from heat.

In your strainer, place a piece of cinnamon stick (never, ever use the powdered spices here; you will ruin it and Allah will curse your best camel), a slice of fresh ginger root and a couple of whole cloves. Strain the tea through, then discard the grounds...but take care not to throw them away where the goats can get them.

Enjoy your tea. It is truly the best tea in the world, assuming you followed my directions and used fresh ingredients! If you have trouble finding the tea or especially the 'ajwan,' try an Asian market. I was never able to find 'ajwan' locally and substitute one cracked black peppercorn in its place; the flavor seems the same, but it really should have the correct spice.

I wonder how much I get for a cup of this tea in downtown San Francisco. Or maybe Vienna? How about Beijing?

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif!

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-03-2000, 06:50 AM
What is a party if it doesn't really rock?
What is a poet? All balls, no cock
What is a war if it doesn't have a general?
What's channel nine if it doesn't have Arsenio?
What is life if you don't have fun?
What is a what if you ain't got a gun?
What's Ali without Shaheed Muhammad?
Nothing. [Calpekur] makes you vomit
What is a Quest if the players ain't willing?
What is a pence if you don't have a shilling?
Excuse me if I'm chillin, hey what, say what
What's a fat man without food in his gut?
What's a child birth, without the umbilical?
What's United Parcel, without the deliverer?
What's momma-san, without poppa-san?
What's martial arts without Daniel-San?
What's Rasheed without Tonya, Tamika?
What's orange juice and Doug E. Doug without Shaniqua?
Not a not a not a, not a damn thing
What's Duke Ellington without that swing?
What's Alex Haley if it doesn't have roots?
What's a weekend if you ain't knockin boots?
What's a black nation, without black unity?
What is a child who doesn't know pubery?
What is my label when I exit boom status?
What's menage-a-tois, or, that is
What is sex when you have three people?
What are laws if they ain't fair and equal?
What's Clark Kent without a telephone booth?
What is a liquor if it ain't 80 proof?
What are the youth if they ain't rebellin?
What's Raplh Cramden, if he ain't yellin
at Ed Norton, what is coke snortin?
What is position if there is no contortin?
What is hip-hop if it doesn't have violence?
Chill for a minute, Doug E. Fresh said silence
*four second pause*
What is a glock if you don't have a clip?
What's a lollipop without the Good Ship?
What's S&M if you don't have chains?
What's a con artist if he doesn't have brains?
What's America without greed and glamour?
What's an MC if he doesn't have stamina?
What's music fractured without Mr. Walt?
What's Trugoy without a phrase called torte?
What's Kris Lighty if he wasn't such a baby?
What is a woman if she didn't say maybe?
Baby laid down, I removed the frown
What would be my penal cord if it wasn't brown?
What is a paper without a president?
What is a compound without a element?
What is a jam if you don't spike the punch?
Was it Bruce Lee if you don't like brunch?
Oooh ooh, it's like that you keep goin
Freak freak y'all cause you know that we showin
What to go what to go what to go what to go what
to go what to go what to go what to go WHAT!


------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

lightbulba
05-03-2000, 10:41 AM
what is kylilin if he isn't being a wiseass?

a simple abscence of taste, perhaps?
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited May 03, 2000).]

Kylilin
05-03-2000, 03:28 PM
I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or be insulted

------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

[This message has been edited by Kylilin (edited May 03, 2000).]

Kylilin
05-03-2000, 11:26 PM
If it wasn't for that horse, I never would have made it through college

------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-04-2000, 01:03 AM
Everyone play nice or I'll turn you into hominids!

Pink Monkey
05-04-2000, 01:05 AM
What do you think happened to me?

------------------
"Eep! Eep! Eep!"

Zoom Rabbit
05-04-2000, 01:23 AM
Quote:

"What is my label when I exit boom status?"

This question intrigues me, Kylilin. I'm not sure if I'm getting all of the cultural and historical context correctly, so I am left with only that understanding of your question which seems the most likely to me...namely, that you are employed in the communications industry as a mnicrophone boom operator and you are worried about your job prospects should you choose to change professions. Well, that's a valid concern...but bear in mind that operating a boom is only an entry-level position in your chosen field; more rewarding opportunities may present themselves in the future.

On the other hand: it is an entry-level position, so not much is lost by leaving. They can work the boom their own selves...or just f***ing speak up! Sheez.

Unless you mean to say that you control the weather--then all bets are off!

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-04-2000, 02:27 AM
I am not in the communications field, that whole series of questions is from a song called "What?" by A Tribe Called Quest, as you notice, they are my favorite music group. I just thought'd be a cool, non-sequeter post to put up. So I'm not really sure what the question really means. Sorry, I plagiarized. But now that I think of it, I will ponder that question more seriously and get back to you with an answer.

------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-04-2000, 04:12 AM
I'm disappointed to learn that you don't control the weather. I wanted something done about this rain...

Kylilin
05-04-2000, 05:00 AM
well....I never said I couldn't control the weather


P.S.<font color=blue>get a tarp and put it over your computer, cause its gonna be wet in your room.</font>

------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

WeedSmoker
05-04-2000, 02:27 PM
Man, you guys are stoned!

; L~

"the grass is always greener"

Zoom Rabbit
05-04-2000, 07:45 PM
Greetings, Weedsmoker. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif Did I mention that Carl Sagan smoked pot...and even said it helped inspire some of his theories? There are some health problems associated with long-term marijuana use, though, but I forget what they are...

*!*

<font color=red>"...Pay attention to the road! You almost hit that parking meter! Aaaauughh--! If you would just SLOW DOWN, I could get that dead dog off the window and you wouldn't have to look out the side. HEY! Not the docks--this is an Oldsmobile, not a boat. Dammit, pull over! I'm driving until your medicine kicks in."</font>

Going fishing is a lot more interesting if you pack some appropriate firepower. Behold:

<font color=orange>"Dammit, Clem--! How you expect me to land a fish if you keep blowing its God damn head off...? Hah?"</font>

<font color=green>"Aw, Jake...I'se just softenin' him up fer ya! CLEAR--!"</font>

I'll be back as soon as the room stops spinning. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

<font size=1>(Serious note: Zoom Rabbit does not advocate recreational drug use in any form...except for caffeine. And occasionally alcohol. Wait...that would make me a hypocrite! Lemme think on this; I'll get back to you.)</font>



[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited May 04, 2000).]

Kylilin
05-05-2000, 03:56 AM
"If the radiance of a thousand suns
were to burst in to the sky,
that would be
the splendor of the Mighty One"


----Bhagavad-Gita

------------------
Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-05-2000, 07:09 AM
Are you sure you didn't mean to post that in the 'Way of the Jedi' thread...?

Maybe Weedsmoker's right, after all. Oh wait. This isn't a joint--it's bacon. How could I have been so mistaken?

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif!

BeastMaster
05-05-2000, 02:03 PM
While we're on the topic of songs.

I know the sound of each rock and stone,
And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam in this forgotten place,
Just the likes of me are welcome here.

Everything breaths, and I know each breath.
For me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned,
That's more than enough for this man.

(chorus)
Like every tree,
Stands on its own,
Reaching for the sky, I stand alone.
I share my world,
With no one else,
All by myself, I stand alone.
(/chorus)

I've seen your world,
With these very eyes.
Don't come any closer,
Don't even try.
I've felt all the pain, and heard all the lies,
But in my world there's no compromise.

(repeat chorus)


<small> from "Quest for Camelot"</small>

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

[This message has been edited by BeastMaster (edited May 05, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
05-06-2000, 06:57 AM
Interesting.

I would hazard the opportunity to cross-correlate my own cerebral functions with those of, say, a marmot, except I'm stuck in traffic because my vehicle's rubber framework suspension system has lost its pristine rotundancy. Stupid nail.

Excuse me?!? I did not send for elves! Just pack them all back up and cart them out of here--and take the tiny little cobbler's tools with you! I stepped on a tack-hammer last time...

If I place two mirrors facing each other, can I see God? Oh, wait...my head gets in the way. Darn. No square-dancing tonight. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/frown.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

God
05-06-2000, 07:01 AM
You can't see me with mirrors because both you and the mirrors are an illusion to begin with.

Return to square one. Reboot search program.

------------------
"Because I said so."

Zoom Rabbit
05-07-2000, 08:58 AM
Okay, God, I have restarted my search for final truth with your new assumptive parameters entered in my reality file. Now that I recognize the illusory nature of both myself and the mirror, though, I find myself beating my head against the glass as I try to enter it.

Now I know how a parakeet feels.

<font color=blue>"...This reminds me of a city I visited on the far side of a mountain range in Asia. All of the buildings were underground; the townspeople were three feet tall, blue, and smelled badly. They had no trade that I could see, producing all their food and goods in enormous hidden caverns. They seemed nervous."</font>

If the Hare Krishnas come looking for me, tell them I already have some flowers, plenty of literature, and I have no reason to visit airports in the first place because I can fly.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif!

Kylilin
05-08-2000, 01:52 AM
<font color=green><h1>timm-ah!!</h1> <h2>timm-ah!!</h2> <h3>timm-ah!!</h3></font>

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-08-2000, 03:23 AM
Oh no! It sounds like Kylilin is trapped in a wormhole and suffering the effects of temporal spaghettification!

Tractor beam offline! Can't get a transporter lock! All I can do is beam a rope and a stopwatch to his coordinates.

I only hope he knows how to use them...

Kylilin
05-08-2000, 04:14 AM
Don't be alarmed Zoom I know how to swim

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-08-2000, 06:09 AM
Fly...swim...it's all a matter of the density and contitution of the medium anyway. I suppose you could swim through subspace, provided your body was generating the appropriate warpfield. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Announcement: the management of Radio Free Saturn will no longer be offering complimentary broadswords to the first five hundred ticketholders at the World Cup soccer championships. Seems the pansies in charge of the stadium can't find an insurance firm to underwrite such an event. See how a few nuts spoils things for all of us?

In today's news, the United States formally apologized to Cuba for its Bay of Pigs invasion, the Russian government offered war reparations to Afghan refugees and China has begun withdrawing its troops and population from Tibet. The news media, in disgust for today's silly outbreak of world peace, have chosen to mislead the public with the false information you can see on CNN right now. When telephoned for comment, the White House press seceretary said, 'I don't give quotes to rabbits!' and hung up the phone in a rude fashion.

In other news, scientists studying recent background radiation data on the shape of the universe have come to an astounding conclusion. The universe is neither flat nor curved, but rather cone shaped. A strawberry ice cream cone, in fact...the good news is that since the ambient temerature in space is just a couple of degrees above absolute zero, the current lifetime of the universe is now estimated to be forever. Cosmologists and ice cream lovers everywhere are rejoicing.

I only have to watch football on teevee to discover what happened to the ancient neanderthal poulation.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif?

BeastMaster
05-08-2000, 03:56 PM
Hehe, God is only an Apprentice!

Sorry, I just found that funny.

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Hile Tr0y
05-08-2000, 08:03 PM
He's not even a Knight, much less a member of the Council. Hehe. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif
Just a thought,
Hile Tr0y

------------------
"There Is Nothing Left To Lose"

God
05-09-2000, 12:39 AM
...Kylilin is an illusion...Pink Monkey is one, too...Beastmaster and Hile Troy, you guys are both clearly illusions...

This BBS is an illusion...JediKnight.Net is an illusion. The Internet--aw, you get the idea.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"Because I said so."

Kylilin
05-09-2000, 03:34 AM
yeah you know i'm gettin' silly, got a Grandma Hazel and a Grandma Tilly.

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/kylilin.jpg

Zoom Rabbit
05-09-2000, 07:54 AM
...Word! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

President Reagan
05-09-2000, 07:59 AM
Um...bird!

Wait--is it my turn?

Pink Monkey
05-09-2000, 08:00 AM
*!* Pink Monkey likes birds!

Kylilin
05-10-2000, 01:01 AM
now there's some sad things known to man, but ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Kylilin
05-10-2000, 03:09 AM
blood in the streets in the town of New Haven
blood stains the roots and the palm trees of venice
bloody my love in the terrible summer
bloody red sun of fantastic L.A.

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-10-2000, 07:42 AM
Smokey Robinson and Jim Morrison, respectively. 'Tears of a Clown' and 'Peace Frog,' I believe...that second one was pretty obscure! Fortunately, I spent many idle afternoons with my uncle's record collection.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Kylilin
05-10-2000, 09:06 PM
We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago


------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-11-2000, 05:00 AM
Got me that time! Creedence? Meat Puppets?

My turn. Hmm. Okay:

'I listened and I heard music in a word, words when you played your guitar. The noise that I was hearing was a million people cheering, and a child flew past me riding in a star...'

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif Hah!

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-11-2000, 05:07 AM
hehehe....I like this game, we could make a whole new post with this one....

the lyrics in my prior post was from David Bowie's "The man who sold the world", later to be covered by Nirvana, who did a damn good version of the song....to bad that guy had to blow his brains out, I liked him

as for your lyrics Zoomie, I haven't got a clue, but I will guess its Springsteen or Mellancamp.

Oh, and don't worry, I got a bunch more lyrics where that came from.

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Kylilin
05-11-2000, 06:00 AM
music is a world within itself
there's a language we all understand
with an equal opportunity
for all to sing and clap their hands



------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-11-2000, 09:44 AM
New post? Whatever for, man?

Need I remind you that Radio Free Saturn is a pirate radio station? No one said you couldn't bring records...

I don't know why, but your last song sounded like Rush. Close? It's probably Mel Tillis or Alice Cooper or something like that. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Mine was The Who, by the way...'Pure and Easy' from Odds and Sods. Pete Townshend is another one of us headcases...

So what am I listening to in the rabbit hole right now? A listen in Zoom's world as it were:

Yama kubera digapala jahan te
kavi kovida kahi sakai kahan te.
Tuma upakara sugrivahi kinha
rama milaya raja pada dinha.

Tumharo mantra vibhisana mana
lankesvara bhaye saba jaga jana.
Yuga sahastra yojana para bhanu
lilyo tahi madhura phala janu.

Nail that one, sucka! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif


------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-11-2000, 03:06 PM
ummm.....is that the new Aerosmith???? probably not. Sounds like something Indian, maybe a series of Yogic chants??? probably not.

my last post was from Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke", its a great song.

"Waiting on a Sunday afternoon
for what I read between the lines,
your lies.
feelin' like a hand in rusted shame
so do you laugh or does it cry?
reply?
Leavin' on a southern train
only yesterday you lied,
promises of what I seemed to be
only watched the time go by,
all of these things you said to me."

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

[This message has been edited by Kylilin (edited May 11, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
05-11-2000, 07:18 PM
*!?!?!*

How does he do that...? Those were a couple of verses from the 'Shri Hanuman Calisa' on Krishna Das' CD Live From Earth...and yes, it is yogic chant music. I'm getting way too predictable, methinks. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Hmm. My best guess on yours is Michael Jackson. That or Led Zeppelin. I just hope the poor guy makes it out on that train before the evil b***h comes back to inflict more pain.

So I was fourteen, she was twelve.
Father traveled--hers as well.
Down the beaches hand in hand...
twelfth of never on the sand.
And we said: we'd be the prate twins again.

Hmmm...

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited May 11, 2000).]

Kylilin
05-11-2000, 09:01 PM
lol, I think the guy makes it to the train, so don't worry, those were verses from Stone Temple Pilots "Interstate Love Song"


You got me stumped with the lyrics in your last post...hmmmm...Sting?....maybe, I don't know. But here's a stumper for you:


Goin on and on to the rhythmic variation
Wakin in the morning I still represent the nation
When I speak of nation please don't make the deviation
Rebels of the party who create the jump sensation
Mind is a pit of different information
Microphone is on so of course communication
Bogle at the party then you got the bogle-ation
Decaptatin foes yo as if my name was Jason
Makin all the fellas at the party lose composure
Hook up the beat with the mic and it's over
A Tribe Called Quest we on the run for whatever
Trials and tribulations that we have to endeavor
Brothers know my steelo it's a letter to the better
If you see a shorty that you like, then you sweat her
Silly with the microphone, in other words I'm loco
Six foot zero with my height, complexion cocoa
Representin on the mic it seems to be my daily
I can do a split and turn around like Alvin Ailey
But when it comes to days like this I got lyrics to go




------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Kylilin
05-12-2000, 04:16 AM
bust my ass in school to be a certified fool
now intellect of curb is my only tool
but street game is so uncooth
I took the S.A.T. and thats the Sad Ass Truth
I'm not glidin' but I'm striving, hangin on by a thread and its called survivin
hang on, hang on, hang on y'all
walk the street and keep your head so tall
for time is short, no time is bought
YOU'RE ONLY IN THE WRONG IF YOU GET CAUGHT
so kick in doors, bang on walls, shout in halls, but get yours


------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-12-2000, 07:24 AM
Run DMC?

Zoom Rabbit
05-12-2000, 07:41 AM
Whoops! Hit the wrong button. Oh, well. I'll just leave it and make a second post. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Maybe Tupac? Or Short Dog (I know a guy who went to school with him, BTW)? My familiarity with the genre is fairly limited, being a fan of 'hippy-type' music...although I like Cypress Hill, and Easy-E cracks me up. My last bit was Thomas Dolby, believe it or not...a song called 'Eastern Bloc.'

I haul the burden for the high and mighty,
but I'm the top hat Devil's son.
I got the luck of the drunk, try an' nail me.
I'm the bullseye--aim your gun!
Yesterday they shook your hand, boy;
now they're gonna stab your back.
I can hear their sickening laughter
sneaking like a Siamese cat.

Clue: it ain't rock-and-roll, ain't country, and it ain't rap. But it came out in '97.

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif



------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-12-2000, 03:20 PM
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Kylilin
05-12-2000, 03:34 PM
ok, the rap lyrics weren't fair since you don't know that much about rap. I was born and raised in NYC so I have that unfair advantage, I won' give any more rap lyrics from now on.
My first post was A Tribe Called Quest, my second was Black Sheep.


and if you hold on tight to what you think is your thing
you may find you missing all the rest
well she run up into the light surprised
her arms are open, her mind's eye
seeing things from a better side than most can dream
on a clearer road i feel
oh you could say she's safe
whatever tears at her
whatever holds her down
and if nothing can be done
she'll make the best of what's around












------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-13-2000, 07:40 AM
Sorry, but the correct answer was: Cherry Poppin' Daddies. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

I have no clue about your selection. Since the spirit of zaniness is coming back to me, I will instead get on with a call-in listener. Tonight we have that evolved hominid Pink Monkey on the line. Hello, sir?

Pink Monkey
05-13-2000, 07:44 AM
Hello, Zoom Rabbit. *Wink* I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of a show--

Zoom Rabbit
05-13-2000, 07:45 AM
That's okay. You had a question?

Pink Monkey
05-13-2000, 07:47 AM
Well, I just wanted to know...um, well...why do human beings have eyebrows?

Zoom Rabbit
05-13-2000, 07:59 AM
That's a perfectly ridiculous question, Pink Monkey! Everyone knows the answer to that...

Well. Anyway, now that that's over, I'll post my entry for this evening's lyrics challenge. Remember, this contest is open to everyone, and the prize is a date with Hillary Rodham Clinton.

*!*

<font color=orange>And how many words have I got to say?
And how many times will it be this way?
With your arms around the future.
And your back up against the past.
You're already falling, it's calling you
On to face the music.
And the song that is coming through...
You're already falling.
The one that it's calling is you.</font>

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

Kylilin
05-15-2000, 03:27 AM
my last selection was Dave Matthews "the Best of What's Around"

yours, I have no clue


but here is one that'll bake your noodle:


and if i ever lose my hands
lose my plow lose, lose my land
oh if i ever lose my hands
oh if....i won't have to work no more

and if i ever lose my eyes
if my colors all run dry
yes if i ever lose my eyes
oh if....i won't have to cry no more


did it take long to find me?
i ask the faithful light
did it take long to find me?
and are you gonna stay the night?

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-15-2000, 07:07 AM
Wow! I think I got one! Cat Stevens, right? I'm just not sure of the song. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Mine was 'The Voice' by The Moody Blues. More hippy music, I'm afraid.

This is an interesting game. I'm not sure why nobody else seems to be playing, but at least I'm enjoying it. <font size=1>When I get one, that is...</font> http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

My next entry in the musical identification portion of the program will be, say:

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank sixteen beers
And I started up a fight

But now I'm jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rollin' down the stairs
Too drunk to ****

Too drunk to ****
Too drunk to ****
Too drunk to ****
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
To ****!

I like your stories
I love your gun
Shooting out cop tires
Sounds like loads and loads of fun...

You get the idea. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

[This message has been edited by Zoom Rabbit (edited May 15, 2000).]

Kylilin
05-15-2000, 01:35 PM
Chalk one up for Zoom Rabbit, you got it, Cat Stevens.
I think yours could be the Ramones? maybe the Violent Femmes?

my daily selection:

I am a man, cut from the know
rarely do friends, come and then go
she was a girl, soft but estranged
we were the two, our lives rearranged

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master, and overall silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

[This message has been edited by Kylilin (edited May 16, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
05-17-2000, 07:38 AM
Umm...Glen Miller! No, wait...he was big band. I dunno. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Mine was the Dead Kennedys...a nice little song called 'Too Drunk to ****'--one of my personal favorites.

Before I play this evening's musical selection, I must channel the dead spirit of Thomas Edison. <font color=red>"...Get away from that window! Do you have any idea how many sex-crazed goat farmers there are, drunkenly staggering around in broad daylight and JUST LOOKING for innocent young children that they can take home, dress up in costumes and force to act out their sick little Rogers and Hammerstein musicals in front of their stinking colleagues?!?"</font>

I guess things have gotten a little strange for Tom in the afterlife. I don't explain them--I just report them when they happen...

Ahem. What is the color of nothing? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif?

MUSIC:

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love
You make...

Hint: It's one of the shortest songs I know of. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Kylilin
05-18-2000, 02:25 AM
hmmm....wait...hmmm...Its so familiar, I swear, its on the tip of my tongue. I don't know.

my last one was the Red Hot Chili Peppers "Breaking the Girl

<font color=red>Tonight's Selection</font>

nothin on top
but a bucket and a mop
and an illustrated book about birds
i've seen a lot up there but don't be scared
who needs actions when you got words


------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/Krillinblast.gif

[This message has been edited by Kylilin (edited May 17, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
05-18-2000, 05:01 AM
Phil Collins? Julio Iglesias?

Mine was 'The End,' the last song (duh!) on the Beatles' Abbey Road. Those lyrics were the whole song, BTW.

<font color=green>"...Standard analysis of the planet's surface show what appear to be enormous statues of three-headed sabre-toothed cat warriors armed with broadswords standing in the desert. The science officer suggests we not land on this one."</font>

If more kids were entrusted with knives and matches, they would be in better condition to survive when they wander off in the mountains and get lost.

<font color=orange>"...Maggot! Git yer scrawny ass back in formation and form with a sense of discipline before I smack you up like a LITTLE PINK DOG! Haw! Haw! Haw! *Snort!* May the gods of military unreasoning cruelty smite thy tender young visage with immediate misery! He's still down--who's next?"</font>

Ah, youth. Tonight's song is thus:

Hey--man, you talkin' back to me?
Take him out! You gotta keep 'em separated
Hey--man, you disrespectin' me?
Take him out! You gotta keep 'em separated
Hey, they don't pay no mind
If you're under eighteen you won't be doing any time
Hey, come out and play

Hey, Kylilin...didja get that suit off Colonel Sanders or Mr. Rourke? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-18-2000, 05:09 AM
1)The Offspring

2)I made the suit myself, it took me hours, Colnel Sanders was the inspiration though, boy does he make good chicken

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/Krillinblast.gif

Kylilin
05-18-2000, 05:10 AM
oh and btw, that last one was Nirvana

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/Krillinblast.gif

Zoom Rabbit
05-19-2000, 05:28 AM
Yuppers. Offspring, 'twas!

Zen knock-knock riddle:

"Knock-knock!"
"Who's there?"
"You are."
(Eternal silence.)

Pink Monkey
05-19-2000, 08:13 AM
Pink Monkey is onto you rat bastards!

Why do we have sidewalks? They just hurt your feet. I've figured out that sidewalks and roads in general are evidence of the Great Conspiracy.

Didn't think I'd notice, didja? Well, I did.

The only reason why we have sidewalks and roads going everywhere is to keep the cement and concrete industry in business. They built all the buildings they needed, but just kept on going. Now we have these huge flowing rivers of concrete spilling out into the countryside, threatening to cover up all the grass.

I mean, I'd rather walk on grass. Wouldn't you rather walk on grass, too?

------------------
"Eep! Eep! Eep!"

Zoom Rabbit
05-19-2000, 08:19 AM
Pink Monkey, shut the hell up. You have no idea what you're talking about. Those are interstate highways meant to facilitate the movement of large motor vehicles, not overflowing concrete trying to cover up all the grass! You've completely misinterpreted the situation.

If you can't handle living in the twenty-first century, you should go back and hang out with the trees.

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Pink Monkey
05-19-2000, 08:20 AM
Oh, that's different.

Can I have that banana now?

------------------
"Eep! Eep! Eep!"

Zoom Rabbit
05-19-2000, 06:15 PM
Today's musical selection

From first to last
The peak is never passed
Something always fires that light
That gets in your eyes
One moment's high
And glory rolls on by
Like a streak of lightning
That flashes and fades in the summer sky...

(Our prize for this evening's contest is Jimmy Hoffa's class ring.) http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif


------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Kylilin
05-20-2000, 05:15 AM
ummm...does that mean you know umm..neverind
anyways, I really want that ring but I don't know what it is.

<font color=pink>Pink Monkey</font> is just a silly primate he doesn't even have an opposable thumb, you should cut him a break, at least he can speak.

The original intention of highways was so the military could have an easier means of moving around the country in case of a war. At least thats why Hitler built the audobon(spelling??).


<font color=green>Tonights selection</font>

Now he lives on the islands
fishes and pilots and drinks his green label each day
writing his memoirs, losing his hearing, but he don't care what most people say
through eighty-six years of perpetual motion, if he likes you he'll smile and he'll say
"Jimmy, some of its magic, some of its tragic, but I've lived a good life all the way"

------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master and silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

[This message has been edited by Kylilin (edited May 20, 2000).]

Zoom Rabbit
05-20-2000, 06:59 AM
Oh, wow. It's been a long, long time since I had the album I'm thinking of, but I think that's Little Feat there, from Waiting For Columbus. On the other hand, I could be completely wrong. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif

Mine was Rush, the song 'Marathon' from Power Windows.

Pink Monkey doesn't deserve a break. Being a symbolic mask I use to represent the primeval condition of man the animal, he takes the burden of guilt for the collective decision of our ancestors to pursue the modern way of life. Now it's 2000 a.d., a little electric box with numbers on it tells me to get out of bed every morning, go and do things in exchange for dollars so I can pay taxes to buy nuclear weapons with which we defend ourselves from other people like us doing the exact same thing...and I've had it! If poor, innocent Pink Monkey can't handle the way we do things in the 'hood, then maybe he should've just stayed in the darn trees to begin with. Then none of this would've happened...

Besides, Pink Monkey can't talk. He just bashes a hairy knuckle against the keyboard. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif



------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
05-23-2000, 08:58 AM
<font color=orange>"...Bad robot! You killed the neighbor's dog and brought me its head, when all I really wanted was the morning paper...!"</font>

If Bill Clinton is no longer allowed to practice law, will he seek a career in the porno industry? ( http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif)

<font color=green>"...Shh! Listen...I think I hear something coming. No, I can't describe it--it sounds kind of like a giant buffalo, grazing on the trees. I'm serious--no, I haven't been drinking! Whatever it is, it's scaring all the animals...AAAAUUUGGH! It's a thirty-foot Mickey Mouse possessed by the devil! NOOO-OO--!"</font>

Well, deal me in! The world is round, but I don't seem to be falling off of it. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/smile.gif


------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Chillin2
05-29-2000, 02:20 AM
Hello ZOOM RABBIT. I'm CHILLIN from the RS forums I took your advice and came over here, sooo what are we talking about?

Kylilin
05-29-2000, 07:07 PM
I haven't been on as of late because those damn elves keep stealing my keyboard, I gotta set some traps or something....




------------------
Kylilin, Jedi Master and silly guy

Nice http://www.geocities.com/kylilin/talkril.gif

BeastMaster
05-30-2000, 10:43 PM
Watch it, some of my best friends are elves. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/cool.gif

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Zoom Rabbit
05-31-2000, 07:02 PM
Howdy, Chillin! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif We're talking about the global economic trade fluctuations that are implicit in the stock value readjustment of several key importers of tea from the Chinese mainland.

Elves: take a large washtub and fill it with wine, then float a plate in the center with a chocolate cupcake on it. Your elves will be drowned in the wine the next morning.

That or get a cat. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Zoom Rabbit
06-04-2000, 08:28 PM
Episode twenty-seven: Confessions of a Voodoo Sex Robot

Q: So where did you go wrong?

A: <font color=yellow>I would have to say that was when I chose to follow my transcendent dream of the magic floating happy face which is always just around the corner like some maddening leprechaun's pot of gold skipping merrily ahead of you on the yellow brick road to hell.</font>

Q: I see. So you were into bootleg software?

A: <font color=yellow>Damn you! You've discovered my hideous secret and the key to understanding my mechanical lust power! Now I must ki--</font>

Q: Most robots have a switch. You, for example, respond to remote control...just like this one here.

End: interview

http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

LDB_modeski
06-04-2000, 08:33 PM
http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/cool.gif

"we know not why we do what we do when we do it, but know this - why we are doing what we have decided to do has been foretold by the croupier at table 4 and that last pint of alderaanian ale" - LDB_Modeski, lucky despot cantina, 3 days ago.



------------------
visit the Lucky Despot Boyz Jedi Knight Clan site www.ldb.org.uk (http://www.ldb.org.uk)

Zoom Rabbit
06-07-2000, 08:46 AM
TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL

<font color=red>Are you tired of trying to kill the neighbors, but getting nowhere? Are you afraid of the postal service? Well, now you can get even and stay safe the Sicilian way--call the Mafia.</font>

'Yeah. Dat's right. An' we got a two-fer-one hit special dis week.'

<font color=red>That's right, folks! You heard Crazy Louie...two hit contracts for the price of one! (Offer valid in east coast syndicates only.) So come on down, and see the Mafia for all of your inner city social resolution needs today!</font>

'Do it or you'll wake up wit' a horse's head in your bed.'

COMMERCIAL OVER

FLOOD RECORDING BOOTH WITH POISON GAS

TRY TO EXTORT ME WILLYA YOU LOWLIFE BASTARDS? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

Man...what is up with the guests I've been getting lately? Where's Kylilin these days, anyway?



------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

Commander 598
06-13-2000, 12:02 AM
I don't talk global I talk universal.

------------------
Yeah its interesting to me that preparing looks is a great bit like sitting on your ass.

Zoom Rabbit
06-14-2000, 05:58 AM
You can lead horse to water...but you gotta be strong and determined if you wanna drown that sucker!

Bananas are solid proof that our world had extensive contact with extraterrestrail cultures in the remote past.

Film at eleven. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

------------------
"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

BeastMaster
06-16-2000, 01:19 PM
For some wierd reason, reading this thread just flashed me back to the old Transformers series.

Anybody remember the Junkions?

Back in the days
when everyone out in TV land
Used'ta
talk like-a dis?

------------------
"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

WeedSmoker
06-16-2000, 03:48 PM
Don't you mean the "Spankticons?"
<font color="lightgreen" size="10">SPUNKBALL!</font>
<font color="white">
pass it on...

; L~

"the grass is always greener"

[This message has been edited by WeedSmoker (edited June 16, 2000).]

Commander 598
06-16-2000, 09:42 PM
Or the Deceptacons,ancestors of the Predacons,enemies of the Maximals,decendants of the Autobots,enemies of the Deceptacons.

I made a circle.Weee!

------------------
Yeah its interesting to me that preparing looks is a great bit like sitting on your ass.

Jedi Calypso
06-17-2000, 01:38 AM
Sweet Mother Of GOD!

How did this thead evade my sights for so long, this is where the un-council belongs!

Well, ill get right to it then:

Does anybody know what 5% of 3 billion is?

Yes, you in the back, the hairy one.

<font color = "yellow"> BANGO: EEK! EEK! I know, I know, its pancakes and gerbals! EEK! EEK! </font>

uhh...yeah, Bango, sure, pancakes and gerbals ( you'll have to humor him guys, he's a little upset lately. Ever since Barnabas left us, he's been yelling and throwing breakfast meat at everyone. this mornig, the little devil hit Hannibal in the eye with a sausage link. It was not a happy time.)

------------------
http://www.aaces.com/GR/images/Monkey.gif
<font color = "yellow"> Say "hi" to Bango, Jo-Jo's friend and faithfull sidekick.He helps me bounty hunt.</font>

The Un-Council's Disgruntled Bounty Hunter
-Calypso

[This message has been edited by Jedi Calypso (edited June 17, 2000).]

lightbulba
06-17-2000, 10:32 PM
"gumshoe sam was amazed at the organization of the horaces. he knew, as he swept up the sweat from his mocassins, that this would not be an easy hit. they had their mature thugs lined up, circling protectively around their young, prepared to fight off any villianous intruders. any one horace could render him sockless if he were to make a single mistake. he hesitantly put a mocassin in the butterfly net. this would give him the diversion he needed to strike them out. he waved the net and quickly tossed out into the circle; in a split second, he unwrapped the bowling ball. they froze -- they had no choice but to surrender.

a hoarace's work is never done.

but then again, neither is detective sam's. here's to you, gumshoe."
------------------
http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 17, 2000).]

WeedSmoker
06-17-2000, 11:32 PM
Ahem, <font color="lightgreen" size="10">SPUNKBALL!</font>
<font color="white">
pass it on... (that's the key here)

; L~

"the grass is always greener"

Jedi Calypso
06-18-2000, 12:49 AM
Oh, No! "SPUNKBALL?"

that what the devil says to me!!

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

And now its time for the quote of the week:
this weeks quote comes from Ralph Wiggum.

<font color = "blue">Ralph says:</font>

<font color = "red">"And over there is the big rock. Thats where i saw the leprecaun. He tells me to burn things" </font>


[This message has been edited by Jedi Calypso (edited June 17, 2000).]

Jedi Calypso
06-18-2000, 01:13 AM
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit:
<font color=blue><font size=1>Now that you'e leaned so far forward that your nose feels staticky and squinted just to read this, aren't you sorry you even bothered in the first place?</font></font>

my eyes fell out trying to read that, crap, Bango, get those for me, wait, no, Bango, those are not toys, Bango, no! Drop!
Bad monkey! Drop! Give those eyes back to me this instant!

<font color = "yellow"> Bango: EEK! EEK! </font>:throws the eyes to Zoom Rabit: <font color = "yellow"> EEK! EEK! Keep away from Calypso! EEK! EEK! </font>


------------------
http://www.aaces.com/GR/images/Monkey.gif
<font color = "yellow"> Say "hi" to Bango, Jo-Jo's friend and faithfull sidekick.He helps me bounty hunt.</font>

The Un-Council's Disgruntled Bounty Hunter
-Calypso


[This message has been edited by Jedi Calypso (edited June 17, 2000).]

Kylilin
02-04-2002, 11:44 AM
this is my absolute favorite thread of all time in this forum, so I've decided to try and revive it, so once again Radio Free Saturn is on the air!!!! (accompanied by the Throne Room music at the end of ANH) so feel free to post any and all of you nonsequeter thoughts and ramblings here, like this:


how hard would it be to lick a squirrel? I wonder


see? its easy!!

Jedi Calypso
02-04-2002, 01:08 PM
Meeeeeemories.....yeah, that was a good post....back in the good old days. Anyway:

So the dog's barking. Its barking at me. I mean, it's obvious, it's barking at me. And all of my senses, the blood in my viens, everything I've got is screaming: "Take off man, just bail, just get the f*** outta there" And panic hits me like a bucket of watter, first there's the shock of it, BANG! right in the face. So I'm stading there drenched in panic, and they can smell it man, sure as that f***ing dog can, they can smell it on me.
-Mr. Orange

Ha! Anyone who knows what movie that quote is from, ill email a jar of potato salad to.

By the way, im a Gungan, let's hear it for me!

Rogue15
02-04-2002, 09:27 PM
Zoom's been missing from the forums since a little after september 11th...he kinda vanished. :(

Kylilin
02-04-2002, 10:18 PM
Resevoir Dogs, great flick Calypso... I like the potato salad with the little pieces of hard boiled eggs by the way...

and not to mention...I haven't seen Zoom Rabbit in a long time, anyone know where he's been?

Jedi Calypso
02-05-2002, 08:08 AM
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

Kylilin
02-05-2002, 08:54 AM
"I'm hungry, let's get a taco." - Mr.White

Pedro The Hutt
02-05-2002, 09:31 AM
What the... seems like people can't let the dead rest in peace ^^"

Hannibal
02-05-2002, 10:33 AM
Zoom? What about lightbulba? What happened to him?

Come back!!! Drop some wisdom on this forum.

Or don't!!!
I could care less or more.
I have no son!!!

Jedi Calypso
02-05-2002, 01:25 PM
Well, then, Kylilin, if you know so much about Reservior Dogs, then why don't you tell me what "Like A Virgin" is about.... (the entire dialouge) ;) ;) ;)

Kylilin
02-06-2002, 12:09 PM
that dialogue is a little too r-rated for this forum, but I will recap:

****ty (?) girl meets john holmes, john holmes and ****ty girl go at it, ****ty girl gets it so good that it reminds her of her very first time, thus, like a virgin...

Jedi Calypso
02-07-2002, 11:47 AM
Nice Guy Eddie- Ok, everyone cough up some green for the nice lady.

***Everyone throws in a dollar, everyone, that is, except Mr. Pink***

Nice Guy Eddie- (to Mr. Pink) C'mon, throw in a buck.

Mr. Pink- Uh-uh, I don't tip.

Nice Guy Eddie- You don't ever tip?

Mr. Pink- Nah, I don't believe in it.

Mr. Orange- Let me get this right, you never tip?

Mr. Pink- I don't tip because society says I have to, I mean, if they do a good job, if they really put forth that extra effort, I'll give them something extra, but this tipping automatically, it's for the birds!

Mr. Blue- Hey, this lady was nice.

Mr. Pink- She was nice, she wasn't anything special.

Mr. Blue- What's special, take you in the back and s*** your d***

***They all laugh***

Mr. Pink- I mean, as far as im concerned, they're just doing their job.

Mr. White- You don't have any idea what you're talking about, these women bust their ass, this is a hard job.

Mr. Pink- So's working at McDonalds, but you don't feel the need to tip them, but why not, they're serving you food, aren't they. but no, it's like society says:"Tip these guys here, but don't tip these guys over here, and that's bull****.

Mr. White- Waitressing is the number one job for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job that basically any woman can get and make a living on, the reason is because of the tips.

Mr. Blue- Yeah, you don't care that they're counting on your tips to live.

***Motioning with his fingers***

Mr. Pink- You know what this is? This is the world's smallest violing, playing just for the waitresses. Now I'm sorry that the govenment taxes their tips, that's screwed up, but it ain't my fault. It would seem the waitresses are one of the many groups the government gets in the butt on a regular basis. Show me a piece of paper that says the goverment shouldn't do that, and I'd sign it, put it to a vote and I'd vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball....and this non-college bull**** that you're giving me, I've got two words for that: "Learn to friggin' type", because if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big surprise!

Kylilin
02-08-2002, 12:16 AM
"the guy looks like the f'n THING!!!"

BeastMaster
02-08-2002, 02:50 PM
And now, the news:

Originally posted by Hannibal
Zoom? What about lightbulba? What happened to him?

Zoom dropped these forums and took to hanging out at XWA.net. He was there until mid-October last year, before suddenly vanishing without a trace. We have an ongoing Rabbit-hunt (not that kind of hunt) awaiting his return.

As for Bulbous, IIRC he just kinda drifted away, his posts becoming less and less frequent.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Flugleharp!!!

oninosensi
02-11-2002, 09:38 PM
Flugleharp!!! ?????

Not THE Flugleharp!!!

Could it be? The one and only?

Dare we...?
Dare we hope...?
Dare we hope for...?

Dare we hope for:



Two caramel battle droids and an electric sheep??????

Kylilin
02-12-2002, 07:40 AM
oh no, I remember the Electric Sheep, very scary stuff...

Pedro The Hutt
02-12-2002, 08:59 AM
*Runs around screaming* NOooooooooooo!!!!!!

Jedi Calypso
02-12-2002, 11:13 AM
Not to fear, Pedro, we'll simply have to unleash the.......dare i say it.....yes.....

We'll have to release the **shudders** The Gas-Powered Crocodile.....

I'm sorry it had to come to this.

By the way..... does anyone know what they call a Quarter-Pounder With Cheese in Amsterdamn? The winner get a grapefruit.

Kylilin
02-12-2002, 06:35 PM
I don't know about Amsterdam, but in France they call it a Royal with cheese becuase of the metric system...

Jedi Calypso
02-14-2002, 07:34 AM
Very good....what about a Big Mac? What do they call that in France?

Qwi Xux
02-14-2002, 07:47 AM
I seemed to have tripped, stumbled, and fell into here. And being the curious, often dangerously stupid person I am. I think I'll be an idiot and post something my brother just told me....so here's for my bro (nicknamed Wedge.) Wedge.

Wedge Says:

THE YELLOW DISH TOWELS LIVE! THEY WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!! IF MY SIS TELLS YOU THAT I AM INSANE...DON'T LISTEN TO HER!!!!!!!!!!! but itf she tells you anything else, listen cause she's pretty good with a lightsaber.


Okay that was very irrelevent to whatever you were talking about, I know. But I hope you all don't mind. Just don't tie me up and throw me in the way of any trains.


Gee, I'm unusually hyper this morning!

Jedi Calypso
02-14-2002, 08:06 AM
**Looks at the judges**

No.....no...I'm sorry, we can't except that as an answer to what they call a Big Mac in France....anyone else?

Kylilin
02-14-2002, 08:41 AM
its called le Big Mac, but what about a whopper in France?

Jedi Calypso
02-14-2002, 10:29 AM
I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King.

You know what they do to their french fries in Holland?

Kylilin
02-14-2002, 12:14 PM
mayonaise, they put globs of that sh*t on there (and so do I)
but why did Tony Rockyhorror get thrown out of a fourth floor window?

oninosensi
02-15-2002, 11:43 AM
The same reason the chicken crossed the road-

To get to the Holy Grail next to the shrubbery!

Jedi Calypso
02-19-2002, 07:44 AM
Marselles Wallace had his boys throw Tony Rocky Horror off his balcony through his green house (since then, the man has developed sort of a speech inpedament) because he gave Wallace's wife a foot massage.