View Full Version : Murphy's Laws of JK:O Multiplayer

04-18-2002, 09:15 PM
Feel free to add your own.

The minute your Force meter runs out, you WILL be Force gripped off a ledge.

Likewise, you will be Force pushed or gripped off a ledge as soon as you realize you're at a position where you know you shouldn't be (your back to an edge of a pit, trash compactor, Death Star laser, etc.).

As soon as your opponent realizes he/she cannot beat you with a lightsaber, they will pull out a rocket launcher/flechette gun/repeater.

If there is a pit, someone will be pushed/pulled/gripped into it even if it's a shallow pit...

You will see the mine/bomb as soon as you know you're dead and before you can do anything to stop from running into it.

Ok people add some more.

04-18-2002, 09:22 PM

nice thread, good idea :-)

04-18-2002, 09:38 PM
hmmm...how about...

you will always turn on Absorb when not needed and will forget to turn it on when you need it the most.

that force power you thought you would never need to bind is the one you need the fastest.

the ledge you think is too high usually is...but you've jumped already.

Nill the Mean
04-18-2002, 09:39 PM
Lol, you will have lightning spammed on you if you stand still with your saber off.

If you say: Hey, you there! you will instantly be attacked by everyone.

04-18-2002, 09:47 PM


could not resist :)

04-18-2002, 09:50 PM
If you treat JK2 as a chat room and type mid game you will be killed and would of deserved it.

if you turn off your Saber and bow you might survive the wrath of some but not the wrath of others

if you follow a code of honour and show it with the use of Tags and/or talk about in game ethics publicly you will be hunted down and killed

if you go on a server and don't hear "Hey you there!" from a stormtrooper you enjoyment will suffer

if you choose the stormtrooper as your player_model you will bring enjoyment to all!

if you type "/unbind all" in the console, you will be shocked!

if you type /bind p "Im a moron" into the console and then hit P while in game people will laugh at you.

if you force push your own ALT repeater Fire after shooting it. It will never go where you want it to

same goes for thermal detonators

same goes for rockets

if your playing with a Yoda skin/model__please let me know

if you defeat an oppenent in combat be sure to crouch hump their body

if you choose the stormtrooper as your player_model you will bring enjoyment to all! oh wait I mentioned that already

if you choose the stormtrooper as your player_model you will bring enjoyment to all! damn it I did it again

:) Thats all I can think of

04-18-2002, 10:26 PM
if you type "/unbind all" in the console, you will be shocked!

04-18-2002, 10:32 PM
How about, When your opponent starts using guns and you turn off your saber, he will imediately switch to back his saber and kill you.

When your in a duel and your opponent is wide open, as you prepare to make the kill, another player will bump into you, messing up your attack

(and they said others couldnt affect you during a duel.)

04-19-2002, 12:15 AM
-when you go in for a simple kill, someone will dfa you from behind.

-when you annouce that you are waiting for a duel in (place) many people will come and attack you with weapons while your saber is retracted.

JAtM Trev
04-19-2002, 01:16 AM
If you wait longer than 5 minutes for a duel, you will realize you have the wrong powers set and go back to the end of the line.

If you try to force push a alt repeater, the second one will get you.

If you force pull a repeater, a rocket launcher pops up.

Jah Warrior
04-19-2002, 01:44 AM
If you change your force settings you'll forget the keys

If you like this game, you'll never sleep,

God almighty its 5am

04-19-2002, 01:48 AM
If you build it, he will come.

04-19-2002, 02:47 AM
The second you get cocky and/or the second you mention a code of honor, I'll be behind you to grip you and throw your ass off a ledge.

Darth Abbadon
04-19-2002, 02:57 AM
When your health is low and you want to push away a rocket (or any other weapon you can't block with your saber) you'll end up activating pull and die.

04-19-2002, 04:39 AM
It's always AFTER you voted yes, that you realize the vote was on you..

if you hide in the dark to suprise others, you can be sure that everybody has chosen another route....

there will always be a rocket launcher aimed at you when you capture the flag...

04-19-2002, 05:14 AM

Here one...

The instant you type for 10 minutes thinking up a lot of good murphys laws for JK, your friking connection craps out on you and you lose the entire message!!!!!!!!!!

04-19-2002, 05:49 AM
If you build it, they will find a bug in it to exploit.

04-19-2002, 04:56 PM
if you hide in the dark to suprise others, you can be sure that everybody has chosen another route....

I have that happen every time on the Nar Shadda level! I finally get the disruptor and get a hiding place and then everyone is on the other end of the map!

04-19-2002, 05:28 PM
If you use an XXX to kill your opponent in a deathmatch, you WILL be called an XXX *****.

No matter how awesomely spectacular your kill was, your opponent will always claim that doing that requires no skill.

No matter how marginally you peek around a corner, a Rodian will always snipe you.

When you've finally fought your way through NS Streets to get the disruptor, then fought your way all the way back up to the top to get to everybody's favorite sniping area, a speeder car will throw you off the walkway.

Creston :)

04-19-2002, 05:47 PM
Even if you have tried a hundred times, the moment you carry the flag, you WILL fall in the pit on bespin trying to jump through the little window.

04-19-2002, 05:55 PM
Force Dodge will always occur when you have 100 health and 200 shield, but never when you have <10 health.

04-19-2002, 07:06 PM
When you have full health and shield, nobody will duel you

when you have no health or shield, everbody will duel you.

the stupid stormtrooper you have been stalking will only taunt-spam when you are in a duel with someone else.

your killing spree will always be ended by a 13 year-old mouth-breathing, retainer wearing kid who thinks he knows more than you about the force.

and no matter how many posts you have, you will always be a pit droid.

04-19-2002, 10:34 PM
as soon as i get cable hooked up in my apartment, you ALL will experience humiliating defeat at my hands :p

Chewie Bakker
04-20-2002, 02:13 AM
1) As soon as someone remarks on your skill, you will err on your next jump and fall to your doom.

2) The first time you learn how to do a side-running wall flip, it will be in Nar Shaddaa Streets or Waring Factions, causing you to fall to your doom.

3) At least 3 times a day, you will fall to your doom usually without any help from the other players.


04-20-2002, 02:45 AM
after being blown to kingdom come realize they hit their chat key by mistake in the middle of battle....

04-20-2002, 03:46 AM
If you build a great game or mod someone will always rip it apart.

You duel and beat the top players on the server only to lose to the guy who has 0 kills in 6 minutes.

You forget the force powers you just set up won't take effect until after you die.

04-20-2002, 04:00 AM
If you start doing well in a duel, you shouldn't mention it to others, as you will die the second you press enter.

If you kill someone, no matter how you kill them, someone will cuss you out because of your "newbie" moves.

If you use "internet slang" (n00b, h@x0rs, etc.), you shall be hunted down and killed, even if you leave to go to another server.

The person with the name "Padawan" will win every single fricking game.

Telling people that taunting is accomplised by "/bind w +taunt" is extremely fun, especially if they are a stormtrooper.

You cannot use a special saber move without getting flamed, gang-raped, and hunted down, for they are considered "gay/lame/newbie/crappy."

Killing someone with the basic blaster never gets old.

04-20-2002, 04:11 AM
If somebody has 40 kills and the others have 15, he is using the finishing move repeatedly, the repeater of flechette gun's alt fire, or pushing and gripping people down holes.

People think it's cool to be evil, so they will kill you if you do anything even close to having an Honor Code

It's hard not to get mad at people who don't follow the same code as you :D

Skilled people turn off their lightsabers to find duels.

Skilled people meet at a nice duel place and decide who's gonna duel who.

People who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off will die a horrible, horrible, horrible death, in a very entertaining fashion.

When people who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off and die a horrible, horrible, horrible death in a very entertaining fashion, many other skilled players are killed by other skilled players trying to kill the person who attack skilled people in a group while they are discussing duels with their sabers off.

Light stance is funny.

Medium stance is cool.

Heavy stance hurts.

Kick only duels are very entertaining.

Kick only duels over a hole are very, very entertaining.

If someone attacks you while your saber is off, and you proceed to dodge all of his attacks and kill him using kicks, he usually calls you a cheater.

You can make a 13-people-high tower near the edge of the pad in the bespin streets map.

You can kill 13 people with a well aimed rocket.

Pushing the rockets newbies shoot at you is fun.

If you use force push on a trip mine, it will bounce on a wall and kill you.

If you use force pull often, you will pull people slashing with heavy stance to you. You will die a horrible, horrible, horrible death in a very entertaining fashion.

04-20-2002, 04:16 AM
Oh yeah, and when you fight many duels with the same honorable and skilled player, you often become unnoficial friends reluctant to fight each other outside of a duel. You then proceed to kill anyone getting close to you by ganging up on them. Many people die a horrible, horrible, horrible deaths, in a very entertaining fashion.

04-20-2002, 06:08 AM

04-20-2002, 08:38 AM
While fighting a duel challenge in a FFA server, there will always be someone who wont understand what that blue glow means and try to attack you, generally getting in the way.

While trying to sneak up on the guy whos been sniping everyone on Nar Shadda, you will never notice the guy who was sneaking up on you.

When you do die, chances are you will respawn right in front of someone with a repeater.

04-20-2002, 06:12 PM
Just as you're about to deliver the killing shot with x weapon, it will run out of ammo and default to the lightsaber.

Just as you're about to press K to challenge an opponent to a duel in a quiet part of the map...all of the other players will suddenly appear in a mad frag-fest that catches you in the crossfire.

Just when you need to wall-walk over a group of opponents before you...you will fumble the move and end up skewered on the tip of someone's lightsaber.

When you are on a killing spree and taking down every other saber player in the game...you will be killed by a trip mine/det pack/sentry.

When you are playing on a server with only a few players...you will run around like a maniac trying to find an opponent, and end up with a zero score at the end of the match because you couldn't find anyone to fight.

Just as you start to lead and dominate a match...your connection will be interrupted/disconnected.

Every time you switch from MP to SP...you will press the wrong key, because you configured the two halves of the game differently.

Just as you are about to press Submit Reply when responding to this thread...you will be disconnected from the internet.


04-20-2002, 06:29 PM
Crashes will occur when you least expect it, and often.


04-20-2002, 08:49 PM
The amount of frags the player has is always inversely proportional to their ping

04-20-2002, 09:11 PM
the longer and cooler ur sabre fight goes on the more lightly it is you will both be killed by lightning.

incoming sabers have right of way

the more kills u get without dying they stupeder way u will die

any ambush u set is ovious to every other player

04-20-2002, 10:09 PM
After flawlessly running the flag back from the enemy base you WILL arrive at your flag stand at the exact moment the enemy steals your undefended flag.

While waiting for the flag to be returned on ns_streets you WILL be knocked off by a lamer teammate who thinks its funny.

Chewie Bakker
04-21-2002, 12:30 AM
<Knocks Darksider off a ledge while he has the flag, just as the flag's returned>

"Hey! You there!" :trooper:

:nut: You will play make your first duel challenge against the most experienced player in the universe, who will then own you 3 times before you can type "wtf"

:nut: You will always be ambushed by a trip mine blowing you off a ledge onto the saber of the person who planted the mine the second that you believe that a trap can never work on you.


04-21-2002, 01:08 AM
*The second your about to slice another player from behind is the second when his connection messes up and he dissapears
:gben: :slsaber:
*The first time you play multiplayer is the first time when you realize how bad you are.

*The only time you blow up from a mine is when you are inches away from the enemys flag

04-21-2002, 01:43 AM
If you kill someone you WILL be called cheap.

If you strong stance you will be called a n00b (thoug strong stance is harder to use --for the purposes of my sanity do NOT post your opinion on that matter--)

The moment you are about to force push 5 people to their horrible, horrible deaths is the moment you: get a strong stance whack, some king of explosice meets up with your ass, or your force pushed and killed while trying to stand up.

The 5 people you were going to kill were all aded to the score of the one who pushed you.

04-22-2002, 01:20 AM
When you finnally are able to push someone off a ledge who has been doing the same to you all night, you will push him to a safe landing on a lower level walkway.

No matter how sick of it you get, there will always be someone who thinks "Hey, you there" is still funny.

04-22-2002, 02:12 AM
How about...

Your playing a game, and people are bitc*ing because you are using what you are given in the game.

Whether its guns, force push, force grip, saber throw, etc...

If you want something specific, most likely there is a server hosting only that.

Like people who bitc* at people who use guns... Well, go to a SABER ONLY server and quit yer yappin.

Darth Abbadon
04-22-2002, 04:49 AM
Here is one that just occured to me:

As soon as everyone gives up on finding an easter egg, someone will find one.