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View Full Version : CONSPIRACIES! What the government doesn't want you to know


Gaalgoth
04-27-2002, 10:39 PM
::Alright, let me start this off with a disclaimer. If any of my conspiracies are found offensive by the readers, I'm sorry. Second, these aren't true....or are they.....::

::Oh yeah, and anyone else who wants to make some conspiracies feel free to::

So anyways, of course you all remember 9-11. Remeber how much it looked like something off of tv? well guess what. It was a tv program! the terrorist attack never really happened! In fact, there never really was a New York! It was all like Shell Beach from that movie Dark City. Sure, road signs tell you you're on the right path to New York. The roads will even lead you right up to where the supposed city stands. But once you get there, the road simply ends. There is nothing but a large wall that says "Welcome to New York" and has a large painting of the skyline. There is no New York! Everyone in all those pictures and movies of New York are payed actors. Anyone who says that they are from New York is actually working for the government. Trust me, I know. Never trust someone who says that they are from New York....It's a call sign for "I'm with the government". "Oh really? I have family there" is another callsign. It means "I am too". They will then have a coded conversation about government affairs and such. "Well Gaalgoth, where's your proof?" you say? Well if my word isn't enough, try this on. Remember those Pace Salsa commercials where everyone would say "New York City?" because the salsa wasn't real salsa? Well when was the last time you saw one of those. A long time ago. They were taken off the air because they commented on the fakeness of New York. They alerted the public--however suddley--of New York's falsehood. Pace Picante Sauce is the corporate figurehead of the resistance against the government. They are one of our last hopes against the falsehoods of New York and America's Governmenet and have sacraficed their reputation with the government to alert us of the lies we are being fed. Vive la Resistance!

MikeC
04-28-2002, 02:37 AM
:( Saddly, there's a book that has become a best seller in France about how the US government staged the attack on New York. How silly can people be?

BTW - Oh, really? I have family there.

Gaalgoth
04-28-2002, 03:07 AM
Silly? what are you talking about! the French have been aiding the resistance since WW2. They are most informative and helpful. Explains why they hate Americans so much, doesn't it? They're afraid that our government will somehow gain a foothold in their own government and submit them to the same delusions that Americans are under. How do the French know so much about our populace, you ask? Simple. Through the condiment company known as French's . Pace Picante Sauce and French's. Seeing a theme here? I hope so. The condiment companies are uniting against the government. Yes, that's right, the condiment companies are our backers. They have an unlimited supply of funds because nobody--not even the government officials--can eat french fries without ketchup. They will always be in business, so we never have to worry about money. They're currently experimenting with a variety of formulas that will hopefully open your eyes to the truths of our world. The most recent formula turns ketchup green, which actually is rather fortunate because it attracts children and they are opened to the truth from a young age. So keep on the look out for the truth guys. Keep using your condiments so that our formula will take affect and join us against the government. Vive la Resistance!

MikeC
04-28-2002, 04:41 AM
Note to self: assassinate the CEO of Heinz. And do Gaalgoth if you have any C4 left over from that job.

Gaalgoth
04-28-2002, 01:32 PM
You can try and take me out, but it won't stop the resistance! the public will not be denied. Vive la Resistance!

Darth Evad
04-28-2002, 06:27 PM
I saw an author of a similar book on TV the other night. He's a Canadian guy. He claims the US helped to plan the whole thing. He was coming up with 'facts' and timelines on the day that, according to him, points the finger at the US.
He's a very typical conspiracy theorist.

Com Raven
04-28-2002, 06:41 PM
yeah, the kind of guy who has more armor on his car than a german king tiger of old....

Crazy_dog no.3
05-05-2002, 08:15 AM
Uh, they are holding alien starships in Area 51.;)

MikeC
05-05-2002, 02:40 PM
Nah. Area 51 is just a decoy. The real thing is in Area 52.

Com Raven
05-05-2002, 03:23 PM
how you know that ???

omg, mike is an alien [runs off screaming...]

Jan Gaarni
05-05-2002, 06:00 PM
You only just now figuring that out, Raven? :D :D :D
j/k

Com Raven
05-05-2002, 06:28 PM
how can they give a beta to an alien istead of a loyal earthling ??

Gaalgoth
05-05-2002, 08:22 PM
don't be racist, aliens are people....too.......ok shut up. mike, give me your beta. you can't handle it, you need aposeable thumbs to use a mouse properly and the aliens in area 52 don't have those, just a vestigial tentacle. It's not the same thing, mike. Remeber what buffalo bill said in silence of the lambs, "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again!" think about it mike. it could be you. now put the beta in the bucket.

MikeC
05-05-2002, 10:27 PM
I didn't say I was one of the Area 52 aliens. I'm actually a hybrid created from their DNA coupled with human DNA, so I do have opposable thumbs. In fact I have an extra one.

How many times do I have to tell you guys. I don't have a beta - yet. ;)

Gaalgoth
05-05-2002, 10:35 PM
oh! so now you think you're special cause you have more opposeable thumbs than us humans, huh? tch....damn aliens with your fancy flying saucers and shiny suits....well let me tell you something, bub, we don't take kindly to your folk around here! especially you all mixed something or others with your alien blood and human blood all mixin together....don't you know you hybrids make baby jesus cry?

MikeC
05-05-2002, 10:42 PM
Don't make me pull out my death ray.

Gaalgoth
05-05-2002, 10:49 PM
oh yeah? you got a death ray, huh? ::pulls out a foot long sub:: well I got two...death...rays........::throws sandwich away and pulls out lightsaber:: lets dance old man! I'm doin this the old fashioned way!

MikeC
05-06-2002, 12:58 AM
Oh man, now you've done it. I have to pull out the big gun.

:elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

Jan Gaarni
05-06-2002, 12:59 PM
Oh great.

I'm seeing pink elephants again.

:eyeraise:

Com Raven
05-06-2002, 01:10 PM
hell, you scandinavians drink all the time, don't you ??

Wraith 8
05-06-2002, 01:13 PM
Yeah Jan.. maybe you should quit drinking :D

Com Raven
05-06-2002, 01:16 PM
I for my part don't see pink elephants...

Wraith 8
05-06-2002, 01:20 PM
lol :D Me neither :D... i think he drank way to much :D :D

Com Raven
05-06-2002, 03:49 PM
or mike ran some ugly alien tests on him...

Jan Gaarni
05-06-2002, 04:30 PM
hell, you scandinavians drink all the time, don't you ??
Huh, look who's talking. You're drunk all the time arn't you, Raven? :p
j/k m8 :D

Yeah, maybe I'm having a deja vu from this weekends partying. ;)

Gaalgoth
05-06-2002, 08:26 PM
::drops lightsaber with a clang, jaw drops as well:: sweet jesus on a pony....they finally came for me....

MikeC
05-07-2002, 01:11 AM
Originally posted by Com Raven
or mike ran some ugly alien tests on him...

Who me? http://www.plauder-smilies.com/AZZANGEL.gif

Wraith 8
05-07-2002, 06:44 AM
Yeah you :D :D

By the by.... where in blazing is Juztyn??? he hasnt posted in like months now...

MikeC
05-07-2002, 11:17 PM
Wrapped up in JO editing (I probably will be eventually too). I'll try posting a link to some of his stuff.

MikeC
05-08-2002, 12:14 AM
Here's a bit of his work. http://forums.massassi.net/html/Forum5/HTML/007546.html

As you may or may not know, Juz, Darth Evad and I (along with the other swgalaxies.net admin that don't post here) are all old members of Massassi's forums. Juz and I are both long time JK editors and have been involved in running Massassi.

Wraith 8
05-08-2002, 07:57 AM
I did not know that. :)

but he is too busy then... then im glad you still have to time to peek around the corner :D

Com Raven
05-09-2002, 09:35 AM
those screenies look nice...

Crazy_dog no.3
05-11-2002, 04:31 PM
Area 52 doesn't exist. U have all been brain-washed by Mike.:D

Kyth'emos
05-12-2002, 04:00 AM
and somthing totaly off topic: are you the same MikeC from Massassi ?

Jan Gaarni
05-12-2002, 05:29 AM
Yes, he is.

Juztyn's used to be here too, but he's currently busy with making JKII stuff.

Anyways, check out their site SWGalaxies.net (http://www.SWGalaxies.net) .

MikeC
05-13-2002, 02:26 AM
Originally posted by Kyth'emos
and somthing totaly off topic: are you the same MikeC from Massassi ?
Yup - that's me.

Jman3ooo
06-08-2002, 12:40 AM
Unlike all of you I am living under cover but in a different plane. I live in a "New York" ;)

I am currently undercover hiding from government agents.

Ha you cxan not track me, you can not find me.