View Full Version : Very intresting homepage and I mean it.

06-02-2000, 01:15 AM
Hi. I'd like to get yer opinon on this homepage: <A HREF=http://www.alexchiu.com/clickthru.cgi?id=siggi>Immortal device</A>. Do you think it's a fake? Well I don't have a clue. Check it out and give me your report.

yes and greetings from a new Icelandic member with the name VILLPENINGA!
PS: My english isn't my 1 language so if I do some typos then er.. DAMN IT

[This message has been edited by VillPeninga (edited June 01, 2000).]

06-02-2000, 10:56 PM
No, it's REAL!!!
Seriously, Alex Chiu is one of the lamest con men I've ever seen.

"If I had the power of teleportation," says Darkhawk, "I'd make him appear in my living room and say, 'What the %$^# where you thinking?!?!'"

The first time I heard about this snake-oil salesman was when Darkhawk saw an ad for him on Art Bell. Apparently this guy considers himself a real businessman and scientist, but he must not realize how amateurish, stupid and badly translated his website is.

Take a look at his page. The whole thing (assuming it isn't meant as a joke, which I kind of doubt) is based on the idea that this Alex Chiu thinks he's a friggin' genius. And he's going to save the world from the evil China, by inventing teleportation. But, he needs money, (to, we assume, finish his invention) and so he's selling these bogus "Immortality Devices" to chumps on the 'net.

I mean really, you put a $50 hunk of metal on your finger (or some other body part) and you'll live forever? Yeah.

Think about it, how is a clunky piece of metal going to make you live forever?

His site even IMPLIES that he's just doing the immortality thing to get money for his pet project (or so he says, for all we know he uses the money to go bowling).

And the thing is, if you buy the Immortality "shoes" they cost $100 and give you "extra immortality." But if it makes you immortal, isn't one enough? How can you be "extra immortal?"

Those graphics on his site were either made with MS Paint in about 10 minutes, or he stole them from Science Fiction magazines and old pamphlets. What a sham, and what an UNCONVINCING sham at that!

I've seen other websites, with similar themes like this.

Take any problem you've got, and then this OBSCURE REMEDY is mysteriously available to you (only through their website of course), be it colloid silver, peach pits, whatever.

It's always something that was obviously cheap to make, but sold for a hefty price.

No guarentees are given, just sweeping statements and pseudo-scientific technobabble.

The sites are very amateurish, but they claim that you just send them money and they will make all your problems go away!

There's no way to verify if his claims are true (other than to use common sense) unless you buy his product.

Along with Robert Tilton and certain members of PETA, IMHO, he's one of those people who deserves to be beaten senseless with a large trout.

There's a sucker born every minute...


[This message has been edited by Kurgan (edited June 03, 2000).]

06-03-2000, 02:41 AM
LOL, that guy is the funniest man in the world. Whether or not he means to be funny is only up for debate, but he is making money and it is funny people are so stupid. Here is one of his depictions of the future. This is seriously on his site!


And there he is. The reigning champion of the Boonta Classic, and the crowd favorite-TheAhnFahn

06-03-2000, 04:14 AM
I want to know what the hell that black spot is on the right side of his pic! Does he have slugs like Emperor Palpatine?

; L~

"the grass is always greener"

06-03-2000, 02:00 PM
it puzzles me why he would bring religion into this, so i decided to evaluate his views.

God is trial and error until perfection.
i know you are, but what am i?
Since God is infinite, beyond perfection there is perfection,
and before trial and error there were trial and error.
He was, he is, and he always will be.
...and before that trial and error, there was another, less distinct trial and error, and so on, until the trial and error chain went beyond perfection and launched the apocalypse.

Where are we from?
Trial and error.
in the future, we will live in "cause and effect".
What is our goal?
and to acheive that, one must wear my immortality rings. of course, they're in the beta stage right now, so you might get slugs.
How can we reach God?
My friend, God is with us.
you know the little prickly things on the back of your neck? that's him.
How can we walk the road of God?
Reach perfection
i'll do my best.
What is perfection?
To enjoy everlasting harmony on earth.
it's a game! it's a vegetable! it's a musical instrument!
Souls reincarnate for centuries going through trials and errors until they reach perfection. At a very high level of perfection, reincarnation is no more. Souls have finally found their dedicated bodies abiding to a peaceful, righteous environment. They become immortal.
wow. that's...so...beautiful.
In today's world, some men are wise and good, and some men are cowardy and irresponsible. That's why women choose over men creating tremendous amount of jealousy and hatred among the brothers. In another hand, men only like women who are beautiful and charming; so shall the brothers generate jealousy and quarrel between our sisters.
so, i don't pick up chicks becuase i'm imperfect? or is it my tremendous hatred and jealousy among my brothers? i can't decide.

part II
In the future, everyone will become young and beautiful.
...just like mtv!
There will be no more jealousy among one another sister or neither shall there be quarrel between men. All women will bear great beauty, careness, and honesty. All men will bear great wisdom, love, and loyalty.
gosh, looks like i need improving in, let's see, these three areas.
Then the knowledge of God (knowledge of trial and error until perfection and our universe' mechanism) will fill the earth as how the water fills the sea.
or as heroin would enter one's bloodstream...
Neither shall there be any more idol worshipping, nor shall there be anyone who's born with special privilege.
you know the problems we're having with idol worshipping these days. as for special priveleges, who needs 'em! diversity causes too much chaos.
Everyone will become equal. Everyone will be superior in spirit and in might.
superior to what?
Everyone will bear great wisdom and knowledge; as for God's people, that's how they can enter the Kingdom of God.
what? perfection? bah, old news.
Brothers and sisters will work for the sake of each other and not for individual benefit.
i don't find enslavement under sake all that agreeable.
We serve nothing else but God (trial and error until perfection).
emphasis on the "error" part.
That is why I need you to wear my rings or my foot braces.
oh, it all makes sense now.
Because my fellow, your dream is my dream. If your dream doesn't come true, my dream won't come true.
i'm dreaming about...eating a hamburger. still, you won't sell a single damn ring. hypothesis denied!
That's why I need you to believe me, at least this one time!
sure, i scammed you last time, but i'm for real now!
But on the technical stand point, the real face of God is this:
1. I walk around seeing religious leaders calling themselves God...
that's text, you ass.
2. Only things that impressed me are the bible prophecy (old testament) and the Jewish Babylonian stone tablets prophecy which predicted our future so accurately.
considering that your intelligence is on par with that of dan quayle, it shouldn't be that hard to impress you.
We all have heard of things like: "the stern face king who slaughters 2/3 of the Jews, (Hitler) the reappearing of Israel, the king of the East and it's great army at the last battle on earth (China), immortality at the year 2000, etc. Now that's what I call the real words of God.
i swear, i've never heard anything like that.
3. One day I picked up a Chinese Iching text book and started learning how to predict the future using Chinese astrology. After a year of vivid practice and learning, I started surprising all of my friends and relatives by giving them extremely accurate predictions of future events.
then they found out that i was reading all their calendars.
With Iching, I am able to predict the month or the date a future event shall take place.
for example, kennedy will be shot somewhere around 1960...
I find the Chinese Iching a super accurate prediction tool. It is one of the most popular language of God.
honest! i asked him myself!
Then I realized that God is the "Great Operating Digits" of the entire universe.
he's also a singular noun.
God is the fundamental mathematical formula that runs our universe. The Egyptians were probably the ones who first invented an astrological language similar to Iching which enabled them to predict the future. Then their technology has been passed down to the Hebr4ews and the Chinese. I want people to understand God.
understand god - v. to give money to alex chiu
God is totally scientific. God is something which scientists can proof to exist by doing experiments and making predictions with Iching.
experiments? oh, i see: 3CH + O2B yields proof of existence of god! presto!
"Then the knowledge of God shall fill the earth, as much as the water which fills the sea." Im waiting for that day. People shall know the true God, the main engine which runs our universe.
...me, the giver of immortality!
God is the mathematical formula which runs our universe. Nothing escapes it.
not even a deicmal? what ruthless security!
My lord, I know you existeth.
and i have the iching to prove it! yeth, i am seriouseth!
I have studied both the Chinese prophecies and the Jewish prophecies.
by that i mean that i can spell "prophecy" correctly.
You truly did fulfill every prophecy, one by one, accordingly. You, my G~d, is the physics of the universe, the law of all matters, the past and the future of time.
it was okay to say his full name in the other paragraphs, but to say it in this one would be immoral.
All matters have their physics. An apple falls to the ground with the velocity of 9.8 per sec. No one can alter this law.
unless, of course, they reach out and grab it at the last moment.
Moon rotates around the Earth, and Earth surrounds the Sun. Nobody can defy this fact.
try me.
A cow give birth to a calf, a hen lay a chicken egg. Who has seen a monster?
*loud, maniacal laughter*
An orange seed produces an orange tree. How else can it be?
it could be a mutant orange tree...
The universe itself also needs physics to back it up, or else the universe can't function.
kinda like your cerebrum?
And who is that? You, my G~d, are the physics of the universe, the DNA of space, the fulfillment of time,
"dna" is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleic acid. it is a nucleic acid that carries the genetic information of an organism. "space" is not an organism. "space" does not consist of nucleic acids of any kind.
The backbone of the universe. The Master of everything.
the lack of a predicate.
Some say that my G~d is a humanly spirit, A living being who can be applied with human concepts. But I know that my G~d is the mathematical system which governs and runs the entire universe. My lord is not a spirit, nor a living being, and no human concept can be applied to him.
...for my lord is constructed of 100% teflon...
You can be measured with only natural signs and numbers. I knoweth this for the entire bible is full of numbers, signs and symbols.
...which, oddly, looketh a lot like letters.
Your observers, the prophets, have told the truth about you. Blessed were the prophets who learned to communicate with you using numbers, astrology and sign reading.
not to mention instant messaging! (thank u, lord, 4 this meal is mor than ne1 wood wish 4...)
One thing so sweet about you, my lord, is that you promised a wonderful future for us. A future soon to come, with the end of death and disease, raising of the dead, miraculous fertility, and global peace and unity.
jesus christ! raising of the dead? miraculous fertility? do you know what this will do to the population?
Under your promised kingdom there shall be no poverty nor crime. No rich and no poor. No idols and no forsakened.
no one will be rich, and no one will be just poor. they will all be dirt poor, but extremely immortal.
Everyone will become equal.
what a unique dream!
Then, my G~d, the holiest of all, the most complicated of all knowledges,
actually, god++ is much harder to master.
Your fame and your true identity will be enlightened to all,
Studied by all,
From land to land, sea to sea,
For eternity.
i most certainly do not want to study god's fame for eternity.
Your chosen one, Israel, will be the proudest of all. For they truly knew the real you. They have spread your word and your name to all corners of earth. Bliss be my lord Adonai, For Israel shall flip to the top, and be the top For ever and ever.
i don't know what business he has siding with judaism here, but it's not exactly welcome. furthermore, couldn't we just stroll to the top, as opposed to flipping?

evaluation complete.
he can also cure handicaps! (http://www.alexchiu.com/philosophy/handicap.htm)

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 03, 2000).]

06-04-2000, 09:06 PM
My goodness. I wholeheartedly agree with everything Kurgan posted. And I can't believe that this charlatan had the temerity to compare himself with the likes of Tesla and Edison. What troubles me the most is that vulnerable people will be taken in by this and lose their hard-earned money and hopes on this quackery.

visit the Lucky Despot Boyz Jedi Knight Clan site www.ldb.org.uk (http://www.ldb.org.uk)

06-04-2000, 11:07 PM
LOL, o bulb of enlightenment! Thy commentary pleaseth me no end! I am blissed! I am flipped to the top!

(Oh, and LDB_modeski--anyone who buys into that load of bumkum either (1) shouldn't be operating a computer and surfing the 'net without adult supervision, or (2) deserves to be fleeced.)


"A commonsense interpretation of the facts suggests that
a superintellect has monkeyed with physics, as well as chemistry
and biology, and that there are no blind forces worth speaking
about in nature."

06-05-2000, 12:09 AM
wonder how he slipped by.

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 04, 2000).]

06-06-2000, 02:07 PM

Lightbulba's on a roll!

I'm doing the galaxy a favour, my friend; liberating credits from those who don't deserve them! why, without people like me to keep money in circulation, the economy would collapse!
--Lando Calrissian. http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/wink.gif

"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Commander 598
06-06-2000, 02:11 PM
I guess i'll have to eat him with the roll http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif

Its interesting to me that preparing looks is a great bit like sitting on your ass.

06-06-2000, 04:23 PM
In the future, I will do anything to earn enough money to do resurrection experiments.
welcome to the future, folks.
I think resurrection is very important to me is because I am, like everyone, afraid of death.
that's not fear of death. that's disapproval of death.
If one day, I am to die, I want to be able to return.
now, we start to worry.
It is a waste of precious knowledge and time for one to die.
that's a good point. can i stab you with it?
Look at all of these years of knowledge I have aquired.
I can't bring any if I die. So I will do all I can to keep alive!
scamming idiots does not register as a life-prolonging experience.
People who call me "mad man" can go ahead and die. See if I care.
yes, they should be stone dead, like the trout they beat me with.
They rather age and die instead of trusting Alex Chiu's new technology just because they think selling the Eternal Life Rings for $19 is a big scam, and they don't want to lose the 19 bucks.
i would rather die now than live through a generation that trusts you.
They rather spend the 19 bucks in a restaurant for dinner.
what, do the eternal life rings feed you or something?
These stubborn people do nothing to contribute to human race.
so what will they accomplish by living forever?
These people, in my eyes, are pests.
i study and agree with jewish mysticism, but i also think like hitler.
I think these close minded people deserve to die because they traded their precious life over 19 dollars.
translation: "if you do not pay me, it would be morally right to kill you."
For that reason, I offer people free instruction on how to build the eternal life devices thinking I might save a few lives.
why does he think that he is "saving" people from the inevitable?
Yet people email me and complain daily! Why are these people still alive?
I know what others think of me.
i wouldn't count on it, judging by your bloated ego.
They think I am mad. My grandmother, who loves my eternal life rings because the rings brought her out of danger from death when she became extremely ill one year ago, and kept her lively and healthy ever since, still thinks I am crazy.
i can understand why she loves the rings more than you.
She saw with her own eyes that my rings helped Crystal Shu regrow her hair from ground up.
i have no doubt this claim is nothing but a mere fairy tale.
Yet she always insisted that I should go back to school and get a degree in computer so that I can become a multi millionaire just like my uncle who's company he works for went into the stock market.
translation: gloat, gloat, gloat.
I am mad. And I am proud to be mad.
at least you have the courage to admit it.
People like us are the ones who constructed modern society. We are the real founding fathers of so-called the human race.
what a wonderful smell youve discovered...it's the smell of bull****!
We Chinese didn't invent much, but at least we have invented few most important ones: compass, fire work, cannon, paper, silk, banking, and physical immortality.
we americans didn't invent much, but at least we invented few most important ones: apple pie, game shows, mcdonald's, and giant, man-eating eels.
This will be internationally accepted 100 years later. Anyway, even God said resurrection will be possible one day. Who are you to defy God's words?
maybe i'm someone who knows them.

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 06, 2000).]

06-06-2000, 05:51 PM
I can't believe he put his fake invention up there with paper. I'll never use paper again.
Once again lightbulba pyts us on the pathe to...damn it!!! These rings are screwing up my typing!!!! Ive got one on each finger and toe. I'll live forever. Or past forever!!! YEah, Past forever. I'll let you know if the Cubs ever win the world series.

06-06-2000, 11:31 PM

Bravo, Lighbulba! I haven't seen such skilled flaming since the Spammers invaded RASSM (rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc). You wouldn't happen to be related to 'Cheetah,' would you?

(yes, that's a complement.)

"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

06-06-2000, 11:59 PM
i'm sorry to say i've never heard of anyone by the name of cheetah, although i am familiar with rassm. do you think i could take this up as a career?

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 06, 2000).]

06-07-2000, 02:33 AM
In the future, everyone will become physically 19 or 20. No one will age.
if no one ages, how will we come out at birth?
No one will be handicapped or bear disease.
what, will it be outlawed?
Everyone will be spiritually and physically healthy.
...even those people who call you "mad man" will prosper through eternity, i suppose?
According to the Torah's tradition, resurrection (reviving of the dead) will become possible in the future. Hospitals will all provide eternal life machines and super magnetic flux circulators in order to revive the dead.
but why, if everyone lives eternally? how would using "eternal life machines" ressurect the dead? more importantly, how would some invention based on pure guesswork alter a human's metabolic state?
Souls will be drawn back to the bodies after the bodies are fully repaired.
how much more do i have to pay for a celebrity soul?
If we only have remnants of the vertebrae of our dead ones, we still can clone the entire bodies back, including the past memories, and revive them.
once this becomes free, "dying" will be america's #1 pastime.
We will never miss our love ones again!
...unless their spines have already rotted away, that is.
In the future, due to gnentic engineering of plants, crops will be harvested once a month instead of once a year. According to Jewish prophets, in the future a grape tree will have one thousand branches, and on each branch a thousand grapes. Each grape will be as big as orange and will produce its own wine.
hot diggity dog!
Trees which do not bear fruits today will bear delicious fruits once a month.
even pines?
And fruits can be engineered to taste like bread, meat, and fish and will be rich in protein among other essential nutrients.
...and to the left of the building is the extremely rare curry-mutton pizza tree...
3 feet square of land will produce half ton of food per year. Plants will be engineered to be superior in survival. Fertility in the future will be so miraculous that there will be no more poverty and crime.
somehow or other, the crime rate just became based on the fertility of plants.
Money will be abandoned.. People will eat the crops they plowed by themselves or by their robots (servants).
people will become heartless, and as a result, they will give none of their food to the robots.
There will be no more war.
i would be very glad to have "no more" aging, disease, hunger, greed, and war, but what about pollution? surely the waste put out by robots, super magnetic flux circulators, etc. will pose a great threat to our atmosphere. what, are we to just choke in our own filth, forever regretting our immortality? not if you're a pirate! yarr...
A Ming dynasty's prophet Shou Kang Jet quoted a few words concerning the last days of earth as follows "Silver and gold are treasures. But they become useless. Silver and gold truly are treasures. For nobody will dig them anymore." Then the greedy, the wicked, the super-rich, and the powerful will regret their negative viewpoints on life.
the just-plain-rich won't notice a thing.
They believed money and power are everything. Stepping other people down is the way to climb up.
now, they learn the truth: you can get a robot to climb you up.
Now they know there is something more beautiful than money and power, and that is "HOPE".
...followed in close second by "LOVE" and "PEACE".
This is my dream.
i do admit...creating websites in your sleep is pretty impressive...
I believe our future is like this.... It's not "Is it possible?" It's "We must make it possible."
for example: "can we manage to sell a portable, gas-powered blender (http://www.totallygross.com/)?" "we must make it possible."
After all, our goal on earth is to learn to live in harmony. God's job is to create us.
i understand he's been out of a job for quite some time.
Our job is learn how to live and love.
and if we arrive late, we will be subsequently fired.
Q. What is the most beautiful thing in life?
A. Hope.
Q. What is the ugliest thing in life?
A. Give up.
q. what is the most beautiful thing in life?
a. happiness
q. what is the ugliest thing in life?
a. hit by moose.
There is no real teaching. There is only real learning. And real learning is to learn to do good.
...which, of course, we usually forget after the test.

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 06, 2000).]

06-10-2000, 09:38 PM
I just saw an advertizement for the rings on the tube. I almost busted a blood vessel laughing.


Come to the TimeSlide (http://www.angelfire.com/ms2/timeslide).

Thanks to Jedi Kanigget for the pic.

06-10-2000, 10:52 PM
All hail Alex Chiu!!!!!!!!

06-11-2000, 04:37 AM
Oh my God! That dude it totally mental! He has completely lost his mind!

Give me a freaking break! By sticking your body in a magnetic field, a weak one at that, your body is supposed to get younger and thinner? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm going to pee my pants!

This garbage is about the most retarded thing I think I've ever heard!!!

If anyone is interested in buying these immortality rings, then get ahold of me first. I've got some Mega-Fluxing-Beautification-Dirt-Clods that I can sell you for, oh, about $20

...for a limited time only...not available in stores...act now!

VagabondNomad on the Zone...

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players...

[This message has been edited by Vagabond (edited June 11, 2000).]

06-11-2000, 01:51 PM
Not available elsewhere by popular demand!

"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

07-06-2000, 01:43 PM
"vroom, vroom, vroom!"
<font size="1"> http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited July 06, 2000).]

07-06-2000, 06:18 PM
When I was out of town, I printed out some of that page and showed it to me dad. He laughed his @$$ off (especially at the testimonials part). ; )

Mr. Chiu's site was down for a bit, then came back up. He has advertising and spam all over. Apparently he could make alot of money, considering you can fool about 1 in 1000 people on the internet. ; P

I wonder if Alex Chiu actually realizes how crappy and goofy his site looks? He and Christian Kim are something else.


[This message has been edited by Kurgan (edited July 08, 2000).]

07-09-2000, 01:28 AM
Oh, man, lightbulba, that was great! That was so funny, I think it rivaled Calvin and Hobbes!
Boy, am I glad I decided to check out the Cantina!

Feel free to visit my Fan Site: