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lightbulba
06-30-2000, 07:22 PM
MORE ARGENTINIAN WOLFMAN WITNESSES!

Accounts concering the appartion of a "lobizon", a mythological entity linked to the transformation of a human being into a wolf, are on the rise, according to statements given to the authorities by members of the Gomez and Ovejero families, which only served to feed the legends concerning this alleged entity which shook the entire community.


"Look, I don't believe in the "lobizon" or in the "almamula" either, because I always thought they were lies people told, but after what happened to us...let me tell you, we all saw that thing and gave it a holy beating. As if nothing had happened, it got up and went away," stated Jesus Alcides Gomez, who along with other memebrs his family rained blows on an unknown animal species using sticks, a garden implement and bricks, aside from binding it with ropes and even a chain.

Last Thrusday in the early morning hours, nearly twenty people gathered at a family celebration following the Boca Juniors versus Palmeiras football match claimed having seen and "beaten" a "lobizon" (wolfman) yesteday morning, stating that it had appeared in the backyard to their house. It had characteristics similar to a dog, and the curious detail of "legs resembling those of a child", as they told NORTE yesterday.

Nothing appeared to hurt it

Eva Castillo, wife of one the family members, told NORTE that the first one to detect the presence of the strange being was her nephew Marcelo, 11, who noticed that "it was attacking his little dog, and opened the window to see what was going on. We went with Alcides because the lobizon chased Marcelito, forcing him to climb into a "zorra" (a kind of truck) to avoid being injured," she explained.

After this, the strange creature recevied a violent beating at the hands of the family members, who availed themselves of sticks, a gardening tool and bricks, "but it seemed that nothing would hurt it, because it didn't howl or scream, and when it got angry, it seemed to swell up and grow in size," Castillo added.

Men from the two houses "went out to face the lobizon and beat it to no avail, nothing seemed to hurt it," according to Maria Antonia Ovejero, Eva Castillo's daughter.

More Witnesses

Odilio Ponce is the attendant of a gas station located on along National Highway 16, precisely toward where the lobizon vanished, according to the testimony given by the Ovejero and Gomez families. "Around one thirty in the morning, I saw a strange dog that appeared to be hidden behind the gasoil pump...I felt a sensation of fear and looked through the glass without opening the door. I managed to see that it was all bloody on parts of its tail," he stated.

He quickly added that the creature was in that place for some twenty minutes and later "headed for the town." The witness explained that [the creature] had "long hair, somewhat dark brown in color, long ears, and its eyes darted everywhere." The service station attendant also commented: "Seriously, I don't believe in any of this, I felt a sensation of fear, I don't know why, but seeing that its tail was half cut-off and all the blood it left on the ground, made me feel worried."

24 June, 2000 Diario "Norte" (Argentina)
Translation (c) 2000. Institute of Hispanic Ufology
it's gotta be the puppy chow.

and now...space worms!
http://www.sightings.com/1.imagesB/mrs.jpg
more on this here (http://www.sightings.com/general2/real.htm).

the just plain sick but ultimately hilarious:
Cop Accused of Toe Assaults

Tried Attacking Feet of Two Women, Prosecutor Says
June 16, 2000

By Robert Anthony Phillips

CENTRAL POINT, Ore. (APBnews.com) -- A police officer is in trouble for allegedly trying to forcibly suck the toes of two women.

Officer Ken Marksbury, who was off duty when the reported toe-attacks occurred on May 29, has been placed on leave and could face criminal charges, a prosecutor said today.

Authorities said that the victims, an espresso stand operator and a bartender, complained that Marksbury attempted to suck their toes after they refused to allow him to do so.

"He approached a bartender and asked to suck her toes several times," said William Marshall, a senior deputy district attorney for Douglas County. "When he was repulsed ... he left the bar and went across the street to an espresso stand and got a hold of the girl's foot and forcibly started to suck her toes. The woman was wearing sandals."

Possible harassment charge

Police Chief Mike Sweeny could not be reached for comment. However, Marshall said that Marksbury has been placed on administrative leave.

Marshall said that he plans to file criminal charges against Marksbury, including counts of harassment and leaving the scene of an accident.

The prosecutor said that following the alleged toe-sucking attacks, the officer tried to speed away in his car and struck a stop sign. A witness reported the number on his license plate, authorities said.

Although Central Point is in Jackson County, Marshall said his office took over prosecution of the case because it involves a Jackson county employee.
want more? look for the toe suck fairy (http://www.apbnews.com/newscenter/breakingnews/1999/08/11/toes0811_01.html)!

...and on a sad note, this <font size=10>( http://www.phillyburbs.com/couriertimes/dailyphotos/0611image.jpg ) <font size=2>has died.
more on that here (http://www.phillyburbs.com/couriertimes/packages/0611image.shtml).
http://www.jsonline.com/lifestyle/image/may00/khan060100.jpg
Photo/Jeffrey Phelps
Hotel worker Sheiren Farag stands only 5 feet tall as she marvels at Aurangzeb Khan Wednesday outside his hotel. The native of Pakistan will perform this weekend in the Sterling & Ried Bros. Circus at Hales Corners Speedway in Franklin.
you might also want to observe his views on god (http://www.jsonline.com/lifestyle/people/may00/giant01053100.asp).
[b]Randy croc sinks seaplane

A randy crocodile sank a seaplane when it tried to mate with the plane's float.

A spokesman for the Cooktown Coast Guard in north Queensland said today the empty seaplane's crew were stunned when they watched from ashore and saw the croc make its move.

"I think he got a bit amorous when he saw the float and tried to mount it," the spokesman said.

But the weight of the three-metre crocodile was too much for the lightweight seaplane, which tipped over and sank in Princess Charlotte Bay, 175km north of Cooktown.

The Coast Guard said it received a call for help yesterday when the seaplane failed to return after flying a mechanic and spares to a trawler anchored in the bay near Knight Island on Saturday.

The seaplane had been moored in Princess Charlotte Bay but during the night its crew heard strange noises and went to investigate.

"They shone a spotlight onto the plane and saw this great crocodile tying to make love to the float," the Coast Guard spokesman said.

He said the duty room personnel at the Coast Guard headquarters 'nearly died laughing when we heard about it, but it is serious'.

The seaplane sank to the bottom of the bay and plans to salvage it were now under way, the spokesman said.
to close today's segment, we'd like to share a heartwarming tale about phantom limbs (http://www.newscientist.com/nl/0603/body.html). enjoy.
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<font size="1"> http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited June 30, 2000).]

Commander 598
06-30-2000, 09:44 PM
WHY DID YOU PUT THAT ABOUT THAT DIEING KITTEN???!!!!!!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/mad.gif http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/frown.gif

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I like to defeat my opponents the old fashioned way...Brutaly

[This message has been edited by Commander 598 (edited June 30, 2000).]

Pedro The Hutt
06-30-2000, 10:10 PM
Relax Commander598,
A friend of mine has a bag full of kittens, and they are all terribly cute, and they're all doing great.

And Lightbulba, next time, if you've got something to report about worms, make sure that they're the kind with high pitched voices and who wield Bazooka's. :)

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No!
I am your father.

lightbulba
07-01-2000, 03:04 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/805000/images/_808109_bananas300.jpg
Taiwan has too many bananas and Taiwanese should regard it as their national duty to eat more of them.
That's the message of a campaign just launched by Taiwanese MPs.

"Taiwan's latest political weapon is the banana." -- The Taipei Times

They say a banana boom is driving down prices and threatening the livelihoods of local farmers, who are unable to export the fruit because of increased Japanese import tariffs.

Even the military has been drafted in to increase its banana consumption and help to reduce the glut.

Launching the campaign, the MPs set up a table brimming with bananas on the steps of parliament in Taipei and invited people to tuck in.
the more feet, the better.
'Feet sect' officials held

BY ROBERT WHYMANT

JAPANESE police yesterday pursued their crackdown on a bizarre cult that promises to cure illness diagnosed by "reading" the soles of the feet.
Nine officials of the Honohana Sanpogyo cult were arrested on suspicion of fraudulently amassing a fortune by persuading followers that they could escape illness by making large donations to the cult.

The latest round-up brought to 24 the number of Honohana leaders under arrest over a fraud said to have netted more than £560 million. The cult's guru, Hogen Fukunaga, 55, who claims supernatural powers, was arrested last month after four years of investigation.

People "diagnosed" with fatal illnesses attended the sect's training sessions at a cost of thousands of pounds.

Police say Mr Fukunaga used much of the money collected to fund a lavish lifestyle in a luxury flat and to pay himself a three million yen (£18,000) monthly salary.
http://classes.colgate.edu/GNED339/Chupa/pictures/photo2.jpg
a taste of the supernatural:
Man Admits Sending Ghosts to Attack Girls

NAIROBI, Kenya (Reuters) - A businessman has confessed to sending ghosts to attack schoolgirls in eastern Kenya, a newspaper reported on Monday.

The unnamed businessman was arrested over the weekend after the pupils of Itokela Girls Secondary School marched to the district commissioner's office to protest against an invasion of ghosts at the school, the East African Standard said.

The girls said the man had hired the ghosts to torment them after his daughter left the school.

The man apparently agreed to meet the cost of exorcising the spirits -- who seem to delight in pushing the girls to the floor -- and hired a ghost buster named Ntingili who ``retrieved shells and other witchcraft paraphernalia'' from the school grounds.
a(nother) quote:
``I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children.''

-- Former undisputed world boxing champion MIKE TYSON, demanding a fight with World Boxing Council champion LENNOX LEWIS.
have a laugh, jack.
I'm all right, Jack says after airport alert
By Philip Delves Broughton in New York

WHEN air traffic controllers at a suburban Detroit airport heard the word "hijack" over the radio, they did not stop to ask questions.
SWAT teams were mobilised, the FBI rushed on to the runway and snipers took up position. Meanwhile, inside the surrounded corporate jet, a bemused passenger and his pilot, an old friend called Jack, wondered what the fuss was about.

As he boarded the plane and saw who was in the cockpit, the passenger, it turned out, had greeted him, "Hi, Jack." Unfortunately, the pilot was just turning off his radio to the control tower and they were the last words transmitted - giving the impression of an armed takeover of the aircraft.

Officials at Oakland International Airport promptly went into emergency mode, because although the small airfield may have seemed an unlikely venue for a hijacking, since home-grown and international terrorists began striking in America, nowhere regards itself as safe.

The plane was ordered to return and the pilot told to step off slowly. He showed his identification and reassured everyone that no hijacking was under way. But police boarded the plane to see for themselves. Police Captain Chuck Jehle joked later: "They'll probably pass a rule that no one named Jack can ever be hired in aviation again."
a real "zinger":
Ancient Greek city is found preserved beneath the sea
By Myranda Mowafi in Alexandria

A PERFECTLY preserved Greek city that lay hidden beneath the sea for 2,000 years has been uncovered by archaeologists.
They found houses, shrines, bronze coins, statues and jewellery in the ancient port of Herakleion, which was buried by sand four miles off the Egyptian coast, near Alexandria. Among the most significant finds is an enormous granite statue of a pharaoh.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/graphics/00/6/5/warc05.jpeg
<font size=1>Sunken treasure: the head of an enormous granite statue of a pharaoh peers out of the sand that covers the city of Herakleion<font size=2>

Franck Goddio, a marine archaeologist, said: "Imagine finding a complete city, covering an area of one square kilometre, untouched below the sea. I call this a vision discovery, only the eye can believe it. Based only on a rumour and a hunch we have a new reality and I estimate the discovery will be unleashing information for another 100 years."

The international team found the city - which experts claim is the most important discovery since Tutankhamen's burial chamber was found in 1922 - 10 days ago after a 13-month search.

Herakleion, built in the fifth century BC, was an ancient port that lost its economic importance when Alexandria was founded by Alexander the Great in 331 BC. But it remained an important centre for culture and pilgrimage. Experts believe it was destroyed by an earthquake in AD 2 that destroyed part of Alexandria. They also discovered parts of the city of Menouthis, which was destroyed in AD 8.

The team of 42 experts were part of a joint expedition headed by Franck Goddio, the founder and president of the Institut Européen d'Archéologie Sous-Marine (European Institute of underwater archaeology), and the Supreme Council of Antiquities of Egypt. They were guided by classical texts that placed Herakleion between a branch of the Nile and a harbour. Magnetic mapping showed there was a mass beneath the water which fitted such an account.

Menelaos, King of the Spartans, was said to have stopped at Herakleion during his return from Troy with Helen. The first historical mention of the city was in 450 BC when it was recorded by Herodotus.

Amor Nur, an expert in Geophysics at Stanford University in California, said: "This is a stunning story because from a tiny clue our insight into this period will be more dynamic, history will be more fluid and it teaches us new things about sea levels and sediment. There is no other site in the world so rich in history and archaeological records."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/690000/images/_694620_bees300.jpg
killer bees strike in vegas!
more on this here (http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_694000/694313.stm).
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<font size="1"> http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited July 01, 2000).]

lightbulba
07-02-2000, 03:33 PM
we have but one story in today's installment, but it's got bang, you can tell your friends that.
<font size=6>How much is my body worth?
http://www.uselessknowledge.com/explain/images/worth.gif
<font size=2>
You're worth more than you think!

A great number of people have spent a great deal of human and financial resources calculating the composition of, prior to the decomposition of, and the worth, or worthlessness of, the human body.

When we total the monetary value of the elements in our bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive at a net worth of $4.50!

This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei Index before deciding when to sell!

The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:

65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to less than one dollar!

Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese invested their time and money in measuring. The method the Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin, with the variables in this figure being height, weight, and breast size. Basing the skin's value on the selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about $3.50.

"wowsers," you are thinking.
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<font size="1"> http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited July 02, 2000).]

BeastMaster
07-03-2000, 04:51 PM
Originally posted by lightbulba:
Amor Nur, an expert in Geophysics at Stanford University in California. . .

Does anybody else think this is a Yuuzhan Vong name? http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/eek.gif

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"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Kurgan
07-03-2000, 08:05 PM
Just discovered tabloid news rag websites eh, lightbulb?

Oh course all of those photos are real and unedited.. ; )

Remember kids: if you see it on the internet, it must be true!

PS: Anybody notice Alex Chiu's "Eternal Life Device" website is gone! http://www.alexchiu.com/ ; )

Kurgan

BeastMaster
07-04-2000, 04:46 PM
It died.

Oh, the irony!

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"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

Kylilin
07-05-2000, 02:10 AM
yikes

lightbulba
07-06-2000, 02:07 PM
http://news6.thdo.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/810000/images/_813466_gs300.jpg
behold the geep.
more on this here (http://news6.thdo.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_813000/813466.stm).
GIANT 'VAMPIRE' RATS
TERRORIZE LOWER E. SIDE

By ROOSEVELT JOSEPH

A scurrying army of cat-sized rats has invaded a housing project on the Lower East Side, creating what terrified tenants call a "highly dangerous" health hazard.
The insidious infestation began months ago, when construction workers started tearing up and replacing sewage pipes directly outside the Baruch Houses at East Houston Street and the FDR Drive.

http://www.nypostonline.com/photos/web07050009.jpg
PIED PIPER NEEDED:
The Baruch Houses at East Houston Street became infested with rats, several months ago when workers began replacing nearby sewage pipes.
- NYP: G.N. Miller

"These rats are so big, the cats are afraid of them," said resident Morris Spitzer. "This is a dangerous situation."

Spitzer said there are plenty of rats running around the buildings in broad daylight, but the problem is even worse at night.

"They are like vampires - they come out in droves at night," said Spitzer, a 40-year-old warehouse supervisor.

Angela Laine, a 26-year-old day-care teacher who grew up in the neighborhood, said the city's Department of Housing Preservation and Development is not doing enough to fight the rodents.

"They need to take care of the problem now before somebody get bit and dies from rabies," said Laine. "These people pay their rent every month. They should not have to live like this."

Laine said they have complained numerous times to Housing, but with no success.

Spitzer agreed, complaining that "talking to Housing is like talking to a tree."

Baseball-size rat holes are everywhere on the grounds of the project.

The tracks made by the rodents are clearly visible on the grass, including a well-beaten path between the piles of garbage and the base of one building.

A Post reporter even saw three of the rodents in broad daylight during a visit to the houses.

Residents say they are forced to stay indoors during the hot summer nights because the place is swarming with bloated rats the size of footballs.

"We have more rats here than tenants," griped Myrna Rodriguez, 31. "The people are afraid of the rats. Nobody lets their kids play outside at night anymore."

Jose Alvarez, a 43-year-old maintenance worker, said he gets the creeps every time he has to leave or enter the building at night.

"You come up through here at night and you could easily see 20 or 30 rats playing tag at the front of the building," Alvarez said. "It's very scary. They are taking over the damn neighborhood."

A Health Department spokeswoman said it would look into the complaints, but no Housing spokesman could be reached.
what is this world coming to?
Monkeys, Humans Fight Over Drinking Water
March 21, 2000

Tervil Otieno Okoko
PANA Correspondent

NAIROBI, Kenya (PANA) - A drama ensued at a small trading centre on Kenya's northern frontier Monday when thirsty monkeys and starving villagers clashed over drinking water, leaving eight apes killed and 10 people wounded in a two-hour duel, the Daily Nation reported Tuesday.

The trading centre, located 600 km north of Nairobi in the dry neighbourhood of the Somali desert, is home to nomadic tribes that have been scavenging for food and water since drought struck there six months ago. Most of them have been surviving on relief food.

The duel started after three water tankers bringing in water from neighbouring Elwak town to the drought-stricken area arrived at the trading centre. The monkeys, who noticed the precious liquid being consumed by the humans, attacked the villagers who had gathered around the tankers to draw the water.

The clawing and biting creatures forced the villagers to flee for help as the monkey took to quenching their thirst.

A local councillor, Ibrahim Mohammed Alike, who witnessed the encounter, said the villagers later regrouped and armed themselves with axes and machetes and counter- attacked. But the monkeys fought back fiercely, he added.

People injured in the fight were treated at the local Takaba dispensary.

Locals said an acute shortage of water in the district has forced wild animals to roam out of their usual habitat to look for the commodity in villages.

It was not unusual to see animals such as gazelles, hares and monkeys wandering the villages in search of water, they said.

Villagers said they have compounded fears that more dangerous animals like elephants, lions and leopards could soon attack them while on similar errands.
Mass. man gets cash for his soul on eBay
by Tim McLaughlin
Saturday, March 18, 2000

Kembrew McLeod sold his soul on the Internet and got $1,325 for a 4-ounce piece.

McLeod, a 29-year-old communications instructor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, didn't sell his soul to the devil, but close enough. A New York real estate agent got McLeod's soul after a 10-day bidding war on the Internet auction site run by eBay Inc. this week.

``The reason I've been selling my soul is to make money,'' McLeod explained. ``In America, you can metaphorically and literally sell your soul and be rewarded for it. That's what makes this country great. It's free enterprise.''

McLeod's soul comes in a 4-ounce jar simply labeled ``Kembrew's soul.'' The 37-year-old buyer, who requested to be identified only as J.H., also gets a deed to the soul. J.H. said he bought McLeod's soul in part because it makes him feel like the devil.

But he also appreciates the soul's pop art design.

``He assured me there would be a good percentage of his soul in that 4-ounce jar,'' J.H. said.

But maybe not.

McLeod has been selling his soul for the past 12 years.

He first sold his soul in high school to raise money for the senior prom - 100 ``copies'' at $4.95 for each individually packaged piece in silk-screened cereal boxes of his own design.

He changed the packaging in 1992, so it wouldn't go out of fashion.

``Car makers and clothing makers come out with new designs all the time,'' McLeod said. ``I thought my soul could use a new package, too.''

The recent auction on eBay generated 30 bids.
now who you gonna vote for?
AL GORE TEACHES THE ART OF CHICKEN MIND CONTROL

School, of course, is for learning things. Like how to hypnotize a chicken.

The usual subject of language arts in Sharon McCreary's fourth, fifth and sixth grade class at Sands Montessori School took a back seat briefly Thursday to a somewhat reluctant lecture from the vice president of the United States on how to make a chicken sleepy, veeerry sleepy.

Al Gore stopped in Ms. McCreary's classroom as part of a quick tour of the school's crumbling physical structure.

After looking at the peeling paint on the windows, Mr. Gore chatted with students.

Just as Mr. Gore was about to leave, 11-year-old Hessam Akhlaghpour of Clifton piped up to tell the vice president he had heard him talking on CBS' 60 Minutes about how people in his native Tennessee would hypnotize chickens for amusement.

“Tell us how to do it,” Hessam said. Mr. Gore laughed and started backing toward the door.

“No, really, tell us how to do it,” Hessam insisted, like a mini-Mike Wallace.

http://enquirer.com/editions/2000/03/24/gorechicken.jpg
Rebecca Ransohoff, 9, watches Vice President Al Gore explain how to hypnotize chickens.

So the vice president, after warning the kids “not to try this at home,” told them: Hold a chicken's head on the ground. Take a finger or a stick and draw circles around the chicken's head.

“He'll try to follow the stick and, in no time, he'll go "cluck, cluck' and he's out,” Mr. Gore said.

Hessam said he was satisfied with the explanation.

“I was just curious,” he said.

and to end this on a lighter note, a story (http://www.the-times.co.uk/news/pages/tim/2000/03/06/timfgneur01004.html?999) on the vegetarian antichrist.
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<font size="1"> http://www.starwars.com/snapshot/1999/20/img/merchant_sm.jpg

[This message has been edited by lightbulba (edited July 06, 2000).]

Pedro The Hutt
07-06-2000, 08:32 PM
Selling your soul on EBay, http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif Hahaha, That's a good one HAHAHA http://www.jediknight.net/mboard/biggrin.gif, what next? Sell your breath?

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No!
I am your father.

BeastMaster
07-07-2000, 05:35 PM
And unless you're trying to sell yourself on Ebay (God help us), 'check me out' is not proper grammer.

And did the first story remind anyone of Ninja Turtles?

The rat's the cleanest one.

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"The Beasts know much that we do not." -Ancient Jedi proverb

[This message has been edited by BeastMaster (edited July 07, 2000).]