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Jar Jar
07-28-2001, 09:51 PM
Yes, that's right. Time to break open this new message board with a kind of topic that's plauged many message boards- a let's make a story topic. Let's try and keep it in the Star Wars universe, folks- first person to end the story loses. Allow me to begin.

A long time ago in a galaxy fart (oops), far away...

Jar Jar roamed the Naboo swamps, looking for some 'brisky mornin' munchen' when suddenly he heard a KABLAMMO overhead. He ducked, and saw a TIE Fighter hurtle to the ground and explode in a giant fireball. An X-Wing swooped from above the tree tops back into space. And then the TIE's pilot fell to the ground, after apparently ejecting from the TIE.

Jar Jar asked, "Whosa is YOUSA?" The TIE pilot just continued on his way. Jar Jar followed. "Whosa is yousa? Where yousa goin?!" he asked. The TIE pilot turned around and gave Jar Jar a nasty punch in the forehead.

And I'll leave it at that EXCITING CLIFFHANGER until someone thinks of something.

Tie Guy
07-28-2001, 10:07 PM
Jar Jar was knocked out by the blow, and when he awoke.......

Darth Vader
07-28-2001, 11:02 PM
He was in Death Star III!!!!

Tie Guy
07-28-2001, 11:15 PM
Hid incredible cluztiness caused him to destroy the main reactor, just by getting close to it.........

Sherack Nhar
07-28-2001, 11:44 PM
... so he had to escape. He made his way to the hangar, where he could steal a shuttle and get out of here... but then he remembered something: he doesn't know how to operate a ship! What will he do??

Darth Vader
07-29-2001, 09:01 AM
but then the ship was propelled out of the hanger by the explotion and Jar Jar found himself on Tatooine! Then he heard a voice behind him. " who are you" and turned to see......

Sherack Nhar
07-29-2001, 12:03 PM
Captain Picard! (How's THIS for a turn of events?) :D

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 12:03 PM
It was non other than the Grim Reeper. He said that Jar-Jar should have died on the ship, but he wouldn't survive this.....

Clefo
07-29-2001, 12:05 PM
Captian Picard Dressed up as the Grim Reaper!

"Want some Earl Gray?"

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 03:09 PM
Actually, it was the Grim Reeper dressed up as Captain Picard who was dressed up like the Grim Reeper. Then, he touvh Jar Jar with his icy had of death, but.........

Clefo
07-29-2001, 04:13 PM
But, ironicly, Death had a heart attack and died

Sherack Nhar
07-29-2001, 04:25 PM
Jar Jar wandered a bit more in the desert before meeting some Jawas. They harrassed him to buy...

Clefo
07-29-2001, 04:30 PM
A new car!

Darth Vader
07-29-2001, 05:09 PM
And Jar Jar said " Mesa no wanten a car!" But the Jawas sold it to him anyway and he then drove to....

Clefo
07-29-2001, 05:43 PM
the center of a fierce ground war between the Rebels and the Empire

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 05:45 PM
A shot smashed the rear end of his car and flung him onto the ground. Then.......

Clefo
07-29-2001, 05:49 PM
He got beamed onto a Borg ship.

"You will be assimilated".....

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 05:51 PM
Then, he woke up. It was all a dream....or was it. He got out of bed and went outside.....

Clefo
07-29-2001, 05:53 PM
*ooc*A dream how lame*ooc*

and he saw a whole regiment of Storm Troopers with Rail Guns pointed at him he reached into his pocket.....

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 06:11 PM
The, he woke up...again. He had dreampt he was dreaming. He was sitting in a strange chair on the Borg ship with Everyone looking over him. One of them pushed a button.....

Clefo
07-29-2001, 06:12 PM
"Thank you for pressing the self destruction button, this ship will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,......."

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 06:47 PM
Nothing happened......."Just Kidding" said the countdown voice. Boom, the ship explodes into a million pieces.......

Young David
07-29-2001, 07:06 PM
But Jar Jar was just beamed out of the ship onto the Enterprise facing the real Cpt. Picard.

"Who are you?" the captain said.

...

Darth_Rommel
07-29-2001, 07:47 PM
..."Meesa Ja- JA binkz" he said. What are you doing on my ship?" asked the captain...

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 07:57 PM
"Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz" He said, "You've said that already" Said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "Will you stop that!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "I order you to stop it!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz", "STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT!!!!!!" said the captain. "Hello, meesa Ja- JA binkz." Everyone on board runs to the escape pods and leaves the ship. Jar Jar is left standing in the bridge....alone......

Kuma
07-29-2001, 08:22 PM
with Worf who offered him a glass of bllod wine. Jaar Jaar tasted it and

Clefo
07-29-2001, 09:44 PM
got Jar Jar really drunk and he said "Meesa gonna go sleep with your wife!" And strolled off

"But she got killed...." Worf responded

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 10:35 PM
But Jar-Jar acidentally walked on to the beaning platform and he was instantly beemed to.....

Wedge
07-29-2001, 10:59 PM
The Forest Moon of Endor and surrounded by :ewok: and taken to thier BBQ pit...

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 11:09 PM
But he talked so much on the way that even the Ewoks got really annoyed and they rann off, but they never untied him......

Darth_Rommel
07-29-2001, 11:10 PM
....All of the sudden Jar Jar's father shows up. "Ja JA meesa bein yoursa fadda" he said....

Tie Guy
07-29-2001, 11:13 PM
"Butta i'm so shama of yousa isa goin to leava yousa alonae" So he left. But a Yuuzhan Vong Warrior happened to come by.....

FlyBOy
07-30-2001, 12:37 AM
...who was all of a sudden chopped down by a young jedi, who cut Jar Jar loose and left. Jar Jar hopped in one of the Ewoks flyung thingies and.....

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 03:16 AM
Jumped off a cliff but there was a...

TFNGuy
07-30-2001, 07:43 AM
... loud sound as he jumped after one of the ropes broke on the flying thingy. He started to fall towards the harsh ground, but just as he neared death once again ....

Darth Vader
07-30-2001, 08:12 AM
he landed on the TIE fighter of the TIE pilot in the story. He was carried up into a star destroyer and then met...

Young David
07-30-2001, 08:42 AM
C-3PO who was the captain of that ship (how that happened is another wacky story)

"Hello sir, I am C-3PO Human-Cyborg relations and ..."

"Mesa Jar Jar Binks, people call me Jar Jar Binks"

"Oh dear ... another lunatic. Where is R2 when I need hime"

Around that time R2 enters the bridge

...

Darth Vader
07-30-2001, 09:01 AM
And R2D2 beeps "bweepbwoo"And C3PO says "This is Jar Jar Binks" and R2D2 beeps "dwoopbweepooo" and C3PO says "no R2 i don't think he's smart". And R2 leaves the room. Jar Jar says "Wut was hesa sayin!" C3PO says "Nevermind. Let's get you an escape pod. Come along. C3PO takes Jar Jar to an escape pod and jettisons him. Then he sees X wings going to blow up the Star Destroyer. His pod lands on one of the X wings, killing the pilot. Jar Jar looks at the pilot and it is....

Clefo
07-30-2001, 09:17 AM
Richard Simmons!

TFNGuy
07-30-2001, 09:17 AM
... Biggs Darklighter, who was brought back to life thanks to the Empire's new deadly weapon, "The Life Giver" and given the task of destroying his friends (only because the Empire couldn't think of anything else).
Jar-Jar throws the dead (again) body out and jumps into the X-Wing, but before he could react ...

Clefo
07-30-2001, 09:20 AM
A laser bolt peirces his shoulder, he hears some people say "That was Gar-Gar Binks wasn't it? Oh what the hell!"

Darth Vader
07-30-2001, 09:36 AM
he turns to see his father in a TIE fighter trying to kill him! so he jumps into the Xwing and flies away and turn behing his father to line up a good shot and fires. but insted of hitting his father he hits.....

Clefo
07-30-2001, 09:39 AM
Richard Simmons!

*ooc*You can tell I really don't like him*ooc*

BlueSenateGuard
07-30-2001, 09:42 AM
...the thermal exhaust port of the Death Star space station!

...the explosion of which is comparable to a supernova.

Will Jar Jar survive? Find out next week on "Why Didn't The Gungan Get His Medal?" or "Moto Grandee Icky Goo"!

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 09:44 AM
Jar Jar lands by his Naboo swamp hut, when he sees the corpse of Richard Simmons. Jar Jar pokes the corpse with a stick, and it sits up. Richard's eyes roll into the back of his head. He stands up, and then he... BREAKS INTO SONG!:eek: Jar Jar covers his big floppy ears and rolls on the ground in pain.

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 02:07 PM
....Jar Jar's ear infection had gotten worse since he left endor....He knew that there was only one thing left to do....

Clefo
07-30-2001, 03:08 PM
Infect as many people as he could!

Darth_Rommel
07-30-2001, 03:27 PM
...Chop off his ears...

Clefo
07-30-2001, 03:30 PM
Unfortunitly he was mysteriously cured by a hooded stranger, this stranger lifted his hood and it was....

Redwing
07-30-2001, 03:56 PM
Darth Sidious! "You will help me destroy the Jedi, Jar Jar Binks..." he ordered menacingly...

Darth_Rommel
07-30-2001, 04:02 PM
...."But how meesa gonna dooza that" asked Jar Jar....

Darth_Rommel
07-30-2001, 04:03 PM
..."Jeed-ai bein miza friendsas" ....

Paragon_Leon
07-30-2001, 04:03 PM
....then George Lucas yelled 'Cut !' and Ahmed Best went home.

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 04:12 PM
.....Enraged by George Lucas' apparent lack of faith in his acting, Darth Sidious.....

Starnick10287
07-30-2001, 04:13 PM
This is the weirdest story i've ever heard, why Jar Jar? How about some adventure with han solo? It starts out with him crashing into a planet (before he owned the falcon) and he must survive...............

Redwing
07-30-2001, 04:22 PM
Hey! No breaking the chain! :p

...Sidious fried Lucas with Force lightning. Or at least he thought he did...(since Lucas is immune ;) ) and when the smoke cleared...

Clefo
07-30-2001, 04:39 PM
It was the most horrible sight ever The San Diego Funky Chicken!

Tie Guy
07-30-2001, 04:43 PM
So then, Lucas got his special effects guys to draw in some lighting to fry Sidious. But Sidious.......

Redwing
07-30-2001, 04:47 PM
...absorbed the Force energy from the lightning and deflected it towards the special effects guys. Meanwhile, Jar Jar...

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 05:10 PM
Was trying to go to the bathroom in a bush but someone...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 05:40 PM
....had already claimed that area to excrete waste

"oops exqueeze me"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

....The person behind the bush then got infuriated...This was bad luck for Jar Jar cause the person was.....

Kuma
07-30-2001, 05:40 PM
Harrisson Ford , he was so mad that he....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 05:43 PM
...called Chewbacca. He told Jar Jar: This Wookie can tear you arms apart, so Jar Jar...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 05:52 PM
... said,

"mesa hatin crunchin...Dats de last thing dat mesa wantin"

Then Han...

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 05:54 PM
told Chewie to stop, that there would be a better time... The princess you must take care of her, uh? Han said, so Jar Jar started to cry, reacting to this Boba Fett...

Clefo
07-30-2001, 05:57 PM
Shot himself in the head with a carbonite gun out of depression.

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 05:57 PM
but he recovered and incased Han in carbonite....then he proceded to decentigrate Jar Jar...Then a party was held, but there was no laughter for Han was incased in carbonite....Now Han's hope only is....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:01 PM
Luke turns down her ballerina carreer so he can be a Jedi, and go to...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 06:02 PM
Slaughter any ballerina that outpreforms him...Meanwhile...Han's only hope is...

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:04 PM
Grand Admiral Thrawn!!! Leia didn't like this at all so she phoned...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 06:06 PM
Max the bunnie...When max heard of the trouble Han was in he quickly got his auto-conc and...

Paragon_Leon
07-30-2001, 06:06 PM
...a psychiatrist. Lord knows she needs it with a story like this.

Clefo
07-30-2001, 06:07 PM
Suddenly "Hello meesa not dead yet!"

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:09 PM
so Jar Jar went to the Mos Eisley cantina for a drink...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 06:09 PM
...meanwhile Max the bunny and his companion set off...When they reached Boba Fett's hideout, they sinced that they were falling into a trap...Their hunch was right...Boba Fett had secretly....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:12 PM
been dating Queen Amidala, so he was Naboo King, thing Senator Palpatine didn't know...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 06:13 PM
Fett used Naboo's militia against max the bunny...however max's auto-conc was to strong for them so they were forced to....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:18 PM
flee to the previuosly abandoned Echo Base at Hoth, there they found...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 06:20 PM
The one armed wampa...he offered them help because Han saved Luke after Luke cut his arm off...then the one armed wampa invited them all to dinner where they ate taun taun and plotted to....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 06:24 PM
play Star Wars Escrabble, only Star Wars words were accepted, although...

Paragon_Leon
07-30-2001, 07:58 PM
....and that's when the Wampa collapsed from pure shame of being involved in a thread like this.

Clefo
07-30-2001, 07:59 PM
Then Max the Rabbit came and chopped the Wampa's other arm off.

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 08:57 PM
Max had been taking kung fu before he karate chopped off the wampa's other arm. Then out of nowhere came the Naboo ninja's and....."everybody was kung fu fighting" then....

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 09:14 PM
the radio fell over and it turned to the Oldies but Goodies station and started playing...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 09:20 PM
Then when the smoke cleared...er smoke from the er....smoke grenades....anyway....when the smoke cleared....There stood...

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 09:33 PM
no one but then they heard someone yelling and they turned around and there stood...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 09:37 PM
NO ONE....DUM DUM DUM....Both sides stopped fighting...then they realized the truth...HOTH WAS HAUNTED...MUWAHAHAHAHAH

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 09:41 PM
Then, the ground started shaking and soon, A qiant crack formed at the feet of..

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 09:45 PM
the physciatrist...The crack widened and he fell into the abyss(Because of this, Leia later went mentally insane)... Then Max realized he had let the phsyciatrist borrow the auto-conc... The Naboo ninjas realizing this started to...

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 09:51 PM
RUN, AND RUN WITH ALL DUE SPEED. But then suddenly a screeching battle cry pierced the air, and then the Gungan army came. Thousands of Gungans on kaadus with spears and slings and glowing blue balls marched to the battle. Leading the army was Jar Jar, in a dark jedi robe. Jar Jar glared at the Naboo knights and our heroes. He said quietly, in an evil tone....

"Wipe them out. All of them."

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 09:54 PM
As it turned out...It was Sidious under the cloak...he had force persuaded everyone into thinking he was Jar Jar(that was the only way he could control the gungan army)...As the gungans charged they forgot about the widening crack in the snowy rock of Hoth, and they all fell in...Outraged at the stupidity of his inslaved gungans Sidious....

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 09:56 PM
But then Luke yells, "You shoe's untied" and even though they don't were shoes, all the Gungans looked down at there feet, which caused them all to fall off their rides and break there necks. "That takes care of that nuisance", Luke says while turning back to see leia starting to...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 09:58 PM
Bash people on the head with ice sickles(she had gone insane by that time)Meanwhile Sidious inraged by the gungan stupidity....

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 10:02 PM
had wet himself. and that made him even more mad so he took off his...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:05 PM
diapers....Then he started to cry....

Suddenly...out of nowhere....came a ghastly voice(from one of the ghosts)...It was the voice of...

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 10:05 PM
... mask, revealing that he WAS Jar Jar! He ignited his lightsaber and prepared for battle!

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:07 PM
diapers....Then he started to cry....

Suddenly...out of nowhere....came a ghastly voice(from one of the ghosts)...It was the voice of...

(was first :p)

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 10:11 PM
The real leia. The crazy leia who was now to the point of stripping had only been a clone!! The real leia demanded that Luke remove the clone leia but Luke suggested that they should let her finish what she was doing but then....

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 10:12 PM
Considering that I am the TOPIC STARTER, of one of the BEST TOPICS ON THIS FORUM OF ALL TIME , I think that my idea of Sidious taking off the mask is correct plot. You know you want it. Plus Sidious is some weirdo anyway who had 7 total seconds of screen time in Episode 1...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:15 PM
cast the clone into the dark abyss... Luke and leia then freed Han from the carbonite...The one-armed wampa still wanted vengence on Luke and Han so he started....

Boba Rhett
07-30-2001, 10:16 PM
The crazy leia grabs Luke lightsaber and kills Jar Jar the Topic Starter and then hands the saber back to Luke then runs off into the woods naked. Obi wan soons takes chase then....

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:18 PM
during the chase kills the one-armed wampa....then he wonders why there is a forest on hoth...wierd...

He finds the naked leia clone bashing her head into a tree, so he....

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 10:20 PM
... creating an Uber-jarjar. A stronger jarjar. A more dangerous jarjar.

A stupider Jar Jar.

After 2 minutes of intense 'stitching some limbs together', he created IT. The Uber-Jar Jar. And then he unleashed it's plague upon the world...

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 10:22 PM
(ooc)Ugh, I just can't keep up with you two

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:22 PM
But the new Jar Jar stumbled into the abyss also...and died...

Meanwhile Obi ponders what to do about the naked leia clone still bashing her head into the tree

Jar Jar
07-30-2001, 10:25 PM
Suddenly a few remaining Gungan foot soldiers go patrolling through the woods. Obi-Wan suddenly gets an idea. He pushes the naked Leia at them, and then makes a run for it. With the Gungans distracted, he can escape to..

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:29 PM
Sidious(realizing not all hope is lost) rallys his gungan slaves and starts attacking Luke, Han, Leia, and Max the bunny...

Darth_Rommel
07-30-2001, 10:36 PM
...Who run off into the distance, not knowing they are running straight into a Krayt Dargons lair...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:41 PM
It was leia who led them into the lair...

"What an incredible smell youve discovered" exclaimed Han

Then, suddenly, out of the shadows, came....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 10:43 PM
Dash Rendar, telling them to go away from his home, he had lived there since he liked the sewers at Coruscant very much. So our heroes...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:46 PM
Killed him....

Then...they spend the night in his house....The next morning the cops were outside and they....

Tie Guy
07-30-2001, 10:50 PM
went home to have a cup of tea, and when they came back......

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:52 PM
our heros had left the scene of the crime...So the cops decided to arrest Sidious and the gungans....Meanwhile our heros.....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 10:57 PM
Went to the Twi'lek riverdance show, they spent all night there, until...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 10:58 PM
....They all got drunk and trashed the place...After being thrown out on the street, they began to....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 11:01 PM
ask for a cab, but in that planet there weren't any cabs at all. So they found their good old friend named...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 11:04 PM
Billy-bo-bob....He had been fishing on one of Hoths ice caps (hes kinda slow in the head)....He offered to help them off the planet if they would....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 11:19 PM
give him C-3PO, 3po didn't like the idea, but Han was giving serious thought on doing it, so...

Tie Guy
07-30-2001, 11:19 PM
amputate his left leg (remember he isn't quite right in the head) So they did, but he could only take them as far as....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 11:24 PM
Tatooine, so they left them in the Middle of the Junland wastes, wothout any supplies...

DarthMaul
07-30-2001, 11:31 PM
Then they got stuck in a sandstorm, so they had to....

Compa_Mighty
07-30-2001, 11:36 PM
befriend some Tusken Raiders, who taught them to...

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 02:07 AM
Dig a whole in the ground, pull down your pants and....

Paragon_Leon
07-31-2001, 04:44 AM
..hide in shame for STILL posting in this thread...
:(

Darth Vader
07-31-2001, 08:55 AM
go to the bathroom while...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 11:57 AM
soo they did all that, and when the sandstorm was finished they saw that they were in front of Jabba's palace. When they went inside.....

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 12:05 PM
and asked the Max Rebo Band if they could sing along with them. Max Rebo said it was ok, but Jabba did not like their voices so they threw them to the rancor...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 12:30 PM
pool, and they all went swimming for a while, but then they escaped and finally made it to the remote world of....

DarthMaul
07-31-2001, 12:51 PM
The whatchamacallits....These creatures had a unique talent...They could....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 01:31 PM
Stick their tounge out and touch their...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 01:33 PM
back, but what they really did well was.....

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 01:43 PM
cooking fine meals, so they served...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 01:48 PM
roasted ewok. but it made everyone sick to they're stomach so they......

Clefo
07-31-2001, 01:50 PM
barfed which angered the whatcamacallits so they...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 01:53 PM
decide to barbeque them but our heroes......

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 01:58 PM
told them Stormtroopers tasted better, so they went to an Imperial blockade...

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 02:04 PM
And made some BBQ trooper wings but it gave all the whatcamacallits a horrible case of Montezumas Revenge.

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 02:05 PM
that was owned by the hutts. The Hutts tried to eat them but they bored him to death with leia negotiating and then they moved on to their ship, but a trap was set by the evel gang known only as the.....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 02:07 PM
Poopcicles. They got this name because...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 02:09 PM
....well, no one really knows, but they are very imfamous for doing.....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 02:12 PM
"I know why!!" Luke said. " Its because they would go sit on their roofs on cold nights, lean over the edge and....

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 02:17 PM
.."No," said leia, "Don't be so stupid" But Luke got mad and....

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 02:18 PM
hit her, so they all went to court and the judge turned out to be...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 02:21 PM
Darth Maul, but he was converted to the light side so he......

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 02:21 PM
A gungan, so Luke shot the Judge in the face and left. When he got back...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 02:25 PM
There was another Gungan! "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Luke screamed and he went on a rampage in downtown.......

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 02:29 PM
Godzilla!!! You heard over the streets... but Luke, wisely introduced himself... Skywalker, Luke Skywalker. After all the confusion...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 03:00 PM
Godzilla had a heart attack and Luke destroyed teh whole city so he tured to the darkside and he............

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 03:03 PM
ate some poptarts in his underware....

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 03:07 PM
so he went for psychiatric help with Dr. Dolittle...

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 03:14 PM
and got attacked by a drunk monkey that speaks french and....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 03:20 PM
Tried to stick his banana into Lukes....

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 03:26 PM
...incredibly large....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 03:29 PM
X-wing. But Luke stopped him before he culd do so by shoving his saber onto the....

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 03:29 PM
snow cone. But Banana and snow cones don't mix very well so......

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 03:32 PM
the snow cone blew up and blew the monkeys' head off. explode Then...






BTW, to slow Tie! :P ;)

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 03:38 PM
the monkey was reincarnated as a baboon and started too.....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 03:47 PM
Rub his.....

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 03:53 PM
....friend's.....

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 04:00 PM
...lightsaber...

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 04:01 PM
fake lightsaber... that was actually bought outside the cinema in the Star Wars Special Edition debut...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 04:08 PM
but the vendor didn't know that it was real and teh baboon accidentally ignited it and sliced his head off. So....

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 04:12 PM
the baboon ate the head and had a weenie roast with...

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 04:13 PM
They used the guts to heat a dying Rebel patrol in Hoth...

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 04:23 PM
who had been dating a Wampa for sometime...

Compa_Mighty
07-31-2001, 04:38 PM
and had had some little wampa-boys, Leia thought they were so cute, so...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 04:44 PM
she killed them all and ate them for dinner, which......

FlyBOy
07-31-2001, 04:46 PM
which made her throw up chunks of....

Darth_Rommel
07-31-2001, 04:46 PM
never mind-to slow

Jar Jar
07-31-2001, 08:28 PM
her vital organs.

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 08:39 PM
But that's okay, becasue she can grow this back. This si because she.....

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 08:51 PM
Was bitten by a radioactive spider that caused her to....

Jar Jar
07-31-2001, 09:14 PM
fight crime with her Spider-senses, and shoot webs and beat up bad guys!

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 09:24 PM
But she gave all that up to help the Rebels. All of a sudden, a giant....

Jar Jar
07-31-2001, 09:41 PM
skyscraper fell on top of Leia and crushed her to death and she DIED.

Boba Rhett
07-31-2001, 09:47 PM
But then they realize it was only her clone and that leia's standing in the corner. Landos screams, "NOOOO!! MY BEAUTIFUL CRAZY, NAKED LEIA!!!!" and then falls down on his knees and cries. He then swares that he will find a way to...

Jar Jar
07-31-2001, 09:49 PM
... figure out how they get that caramel into the middle of those chocolates! A trickle of drool runs down the corner of Lando's mouth. Suddenly the skyscraper begins rolling towars our heroes, like a log. The heroes run...

Wedge
07-31-2001, 10:24 PM
righ into a gorge with a large trampoline at the bottom and they bounce up twords the skyscraper...

Tie Guy
07-31-2001, 10:57 PM
where they almost collided but narrowly missed..oh, wait, nevermind...they did indeed run into the scyscraper but they didn't get hurt becasue.....

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 01:01 AM
The Skyscraper was made out of foam rubber!! And that ment that the Crazy Naked Leia wasn't dead and Lando was so happy he....

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 11:05 AM
... fell off the skyscraper down into the gorge and missed the trampoline by several miles, causing him to die, with blood splattering everywhere, and DEATH! And the crazy Leia laughed because his blood splattered on her face. Everyone else threw up into paper bags and covered their eyes. Eventually they got out of the gorge and back onto level ground and...

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 11:25 AM
(if you can't tell, I'm trying to kill off characters for the FINAL CLIMACTIC BATTLE at the end...)

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 04:30 PM
But then, they heard Lando yelling from the botom of the gorge. He hadn't gotten splattered, he had merely fell on a giant bag of tomato soup!! So they all climbed abourd the Falcon and went down to have some soup with lando but on the way down......

Compa_Mighty
08-01-2001, 04:37 PM
they found Leia's chilhood friend, so they stayed a long while there, and they forgot Lando...

FlyBOy
08-01-2001, 04:39 PM
who had already left for Dantooine with two ewoks and a gungan to....

Compa_Mighty
08-01-2001, 04:44 PM
The Muppet 3-D Vision Show!!! SO Kermit...

FlyBOy
08-01-2001, 04:46 PM
quit the show and the rest of the muppet gang went on strike, which.....

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 05:01 PM
caused Miss Piggy to suicide. Which made Kermit go and

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 05:05 PM
pelt bystanders with waterballoons. Meanwhile back at the gorge everyone was playing a rather heated game of Risk when suddenly some rustling was heard nearby. "Oh no, I think it's time for the FINAL CONFRONTATION" Luke said. Suddenly some guy leapt out of the bushes and activated his quadruple-bladed lightsaber and mauled Leia's friend to death. So Luke activated his septuple-bladed lightsaber and they did battle over a pit of lava that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 05:06 PM
Oh and BTW, septuple means seven.

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 05:16 PM
Then Han picks up a rock and chucks it at the mysterious guy head, and causes the guy to fall into the lava pit which triggers a giant...

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 05:24 PM
rockman to burst out of the lava, which said "Let's see how you like it!" and then rammed into Han sending him into the lava. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH" :mad: Han screamed as he was slowly burned to a slow painful death.

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 05:29 PM
but then he releazies it's just warm tomatos soup!! So heat starts to eat some while at the same time, pointing at the giant soup man and laughing. Everyone was pretty hungry again all...








p.s.
QUIT TRYING TO KILL THEM!! :tsk: :swear:

Jar Jar
08-01-2001, 05:34 PM
so they decided to order some Pizza. However the rockman was standing in front of the phone and he made a nasty face and everyone got scared. So then Han shot the rockman and he exploded. The Falcon tipped over into the gorge and began plummeting to the ground, as thousands of Evil Gungans and Naboo Ninjas jump onto the ship and invade it...

Compa_Mighty
08-01-2001, 05:34 PM
went to Pizza Planet, there, they met Buzz Lightyear, Buzz...

Boba Rhett
08-01-2001, 08:04 PM
had a thing for Gungan meat so luke negotiated a deal were Buzz would buy the pizzas and luke would let Buzz eat Jar Jars right arm. So Luke Wnet up to Jar Jar and...

Tie Guy
08-01-2001, 11:09 PM
Asked Jar-Jar if he could have his arm. JarJar said that he.....

Paragon_Leon
08-02-2001, 12:30 PM
"...no wanten give up crunchy arm", but...

Tie Guy
08-02-2001, 09:34 PM
"Too Bad" Luke says, and slices off JarJar's left arm....or was it right.....i can't remember...oh well, its not important......and he.......

Boba Rhett
08-02-2001, 10:42 PM
Took it over to the man and the man offered Luke a taste so he tasted it and he liked it. So he went back to Jar Jar and...

Tie Guy
08-03-2001, 02:54 PM
and cut off his other arm and took it to the man who...

Paragon_Leon
08-03-2001, 02:56 PM
...sowed them back onto Jar Jar.. :D

Boba Rhett
08-03-2001, 04:29 PM
but then he pulled out a knife and jabbed it into....

Compa_Mighty
08-03-2001, 07:59 PM
Rick McCallum!!! So the story was threatened to end, because he IS the producer. But the story was saved by...

Tie Guy
08-03-2001, 10:51 PM
the hand of God who saved Rick and then left. So, Jar-Jar...

Boba Rhett
08-04-2001, 12:43 AM
was missing his arm so he found a tree branch and shoved it into the stump he had left and then shouted...

Tie Guy
08-04-2001, 11:11 AM
..."THESA NO WORKIN." So he took out the stick and replaced it with a.........

Boba Rhett
08-04-2001, 03:39 PM
Huge stinky, discusting piece of his own...

Tie Guy
08-04-2001, 08:08 PM
...tongue, which dind't exactly work, so he fell down into a.....

Boba Rhett
08-05-2001, 02:20 AM
toilet bowl and got stuck!! So he had to...

Tie Guy
08-05-2001, 02:14 PM
.....break open the toilet bowl which caused the bowl to....

Boba Rhett
08-05-2001, 04:27 PM
Spurt toilet water onto Jar Jar. That freaked him out so he ran and acccidentally jumped into a huge....

Compa_Mighty
08-05-2001, 09:26 PM
canyon, but when he was preparing to die by the collision against the floor, Luke Skywalker saved him in his Skyhopper, he was chasing womp rats at the moment so...

Tie Guy
08-05-2001, 09:44 PM
...he fired JarJar at the womprats. When JarJar hit the womprts they....

Tie Guy
08-05-2001, 09:45 PM
...he fired JarJar at the womprats. When JarJar hit the womprats they....

Boba Rhett
08-06-2001, 08:52 AM
Started biting him on the...

Tie Guy
08-06-2001, 08:17 PM
...ear, and when his ear was totally gone, they moved on to his....

Boba Rhett
08-06-2001, 08:22 PM
other ear. And all this time, everyone is standing there laughing and pointing. All of a sudden, Jar Jar lets out a hidious and blood curdling scream and ...

Tie Guy
08-06-2001, 08:45 PM
..dies. Then the earth opens up and swallows him. All of nature rejoices by....

Boba Rhett
08-06-2001, 09:01 PM
Joining hands and singing but then George Lucas drops a bomb on everyone by naming their next adventure, "Attack of the Clones" and everyone start crying and building bombs so they can send them to...

Tie Guy
08-06-2001, 10:04 PM
...George Lucas in the mail. But the United States Postal Service accidentally delivers them to......

Compa_Mighty
08-06-2001, 11:13 PM
Steven Spilberg who e-mailed Lucas a bomb program with an amazing A.I. So all this became a...

Tie Guy
08-07-2001, 09:57 AM
..a nuclear smart bomb that went off in the middle of downtown...

xwing guy
08-07-2001, 12:44 PM
but jar jars clumneziness disabled the bomb. By the way im new here.

Paragon_Leon
08-07-2001, 02:31 PM
....and yu immediately finished the story... :D
welcome xwing guy.

anyways;

Lucas felt remorse over the title and wanted to thank Jar Jar at the same time, so...

Boba Rhett
08-07-2001, 02:42 PM
He changed the name of Episode II to, "Jar Jar Saves The Day" and then spent 200 million dollors having the movie changed so Jar Jar would be the hero. And that caused Ewan Mcgregor(sp?) to....

Tie Guy
08-07-2001, 02:46 PM
...do absolutely nothing. But Natalie Portman, she went inot an outrage and....

Paragon_Leon
08-07-2001, 02:52 PM
...contacted LEON, the hitman she played alongside to in the movie with the same name.. :D :D :D :D . Leon quickly...

Boba Rhett
08-07-2001, 03:03 PM
grabbed his throwing stars and headed off to

Tie Guy
08-07-2001, 03:09 PM
..kill himslef in the woods :D. But before he could do that.....

Mitth'raw'nuruodo
08-12-2001, 08:16 PM
a giant rancor leap out of a tree and started cahsing him towards . . .

darthfergie
08-12-2001, 11:15 PM
The Salaac pit in the middle of...

Tie Guy
08-12-2001, 11:21 PM
Hoth! Yes, Hoth, it's a unique species of sarlac. Anyway, the sarlac almost ate him but.....

Mitth'raw'nuruodo
08-12-2001, 11:29 PM
an mtt crashed into the hoth and he escaped on a . . .

Compa_Mighty
08-12-2001, 11:34 PM
mutated ronto, but suddenly a herd of Krayt dragons...

Tie Guy
08-12-2001, 11:36 PM
had nothing to do with this story. :D The Ronto accidentlly tripped on a giant.....

Mitth'raw'nuruodo
08-12-2001, 11:37 PM
bongo and suddenly a dark jedi leaped out of a bottomless pit with boba fett riding large flying creatures that looked like a . . .

Boba Rhett
08-13-2001, 12:27 AM
Our story!! Our beautiful story!! What have they done to you. *weeps*


ham sandwich with wings. Everyone was wondering why Boba Fett was after them so they got out a blow horm and asked fett and he said it was because.....

darthfergie
08-13-2001, 12:30 AM
Lucas had posted a bounty on Leon's Head...

Boba Rhett
08-13-2001, 12:38 AM
so big that every bounty hunter in the galaxy would be flying around on ham sandwich creatures looking for them. This worried Han so he pulled out his blaster and shot Fett in the face and then they all fled to....

darthfergie
08-13-2001, 12:40 AM
Degobah under the protection of Yoda they would be safe...or so they thought because...

Boba Rhett
08-13-2001, 12:47 AM
then they realized that Yoda was dead so they all climbed aboard the Falcon and headed to....

darthfergie
08-13-2001, 12:49 AM
Tatoine where they would look for Obi-One Kenobi...and fly PODRACERS down the tracks of the Bonta Eve...

Boba Rhett
08-13-2001, 02:04 AM
Speedway but it cost to much to rent the pod so they just stood around and whatched the.....

darthfergie
08-13-2001, 09:21 AM
the indeginous life in the nearest obsevatory, The Cantina, but then...

xwing guy
08-13-2001, 10:40 AM
the bounty hunter jumped out wanted to kill Han so they ran back to the Falcon and left.

Paragon_Leon
08-13-2001, 10:45 AM
On their way from Tatooine the gang came across one of those vintage Star Wars elements; an asteroid belt...

FlyBOy
08-13-2001, 10:55 AM
made of cheese and meatballs, causing.....

darthfergie
08-13-2001, 11:18 AM
a massive digestive problem across the Astrid field. C3po Shouts the odds of sucessfuly eating this astroid belt is 3,000,375 to one!!!

Mitth'raw'nuruodo
08-13-2001, 11:34 AM
by then han had had just about enough of c-3pos babbling and he put huge dent in 3po's head with his blaster, but the blaster bolt reflected off into. . .