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View Full Version : You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....


Spyque64
06-26-2002, 08:16 AM
You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the
dark side...it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your
land-speeder.
* You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.
* Although you'da had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the
Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood
deck.
* If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle."

The Truthful Liar
06-26-2002, 08:19 AM
hahahhah :rofl:

Nice shtuffs :thumbsup:

:D :D :D

Dath Maximus
06-26-2002, 08:24 AM
the bad thing is my neighbors are rednecks

*shutter* please help me.

Pedantic
06-26-2002, 08:33 AM
Great stuff!

Yom
06-26-2002, 08:54 AM
i see alot of that redneck stuff in alabama

yom

HellFyre69
06-26-2002, 10:11 AM
well, i dont get to c much rednecks in L.A. Mostly AzN, and ******s (i'm not racists, but thats how in my city they like to be call)

Pedantic
06-26-2002, 10:14 AM
Up here there's a lot of Russians.

Kyth'emos
06-26-2002, 10:23 AM
lol fortunatly there aren't to many red necks here is southern claifornia :)

XERXES
06-26-2002, 10:42 AM
lotta rednecks here in NC too...however..this one cracks me up:
Your Jedi robe is camouflage. :lol:

Yoda_623
06-26-2002, 11:10 AM
Well I live in WV one of the biggest redneck places in the world. So I got a kick out of this.

obi
06-26-2002, 11:36 AM
I am in Georgia. (A.K.A. Hell)


I see alot of redneck things. Here is my list:

-If your House has more miles on it then your speeder

-If you give your lightsaber a name

-If you turn to the dark side simply because your team lost the super bowl

-If your Master says "Come 'ere and look at this before I flush it!"

-If Darth Willie Nelson is your hero

-If Someone offers you a death stick, and use the mind trick and say "You will give me ALL of your deathsticks."

-If You say "Jawas? Dems good eatin!"

-If after a space battle, you fix your ship with duct tape

-If your Protocal droid goes hunting with you

-If your Astromech droid Also acts as your foot rest


hope I helped contribute. :D

Vestril
06-26-2002, 11:45 AM
I learned that rednecks aren't so bad, if you speak slowly. I did a study on them in a visit to Kentucky...

Tyrion
06-26-2002, 11:48 AM
Originally posted by Vestril
I learned that rednecks aren't so bad, if you speak slowly. I did a study on them in a visit to Kentucky...

Care to share?

(I'm a poet and didnt even know it!:D )

Vestril
06-26-2002, 11:55 AM
No...not really. Maybe when you're older ;), this was an in depth study:naughty::naughty::naughty:

Tyrion
06-26-2002, 11:56 AM
Originally posted by Vestril
No...not really. Maybe when you're older ;), this was an in depth study:naughty::naughty::naughty:

Does this have anything to do with how babies are made?:D

Vestril
06-26-2002, 11:58 AM
Originally posted by Tyrion


Does this have anything to do with how babies are made?:D

No...nothing like...that :eek:

*walks away slowly, whistling as he goes*

-[MotU]-Lyger|=-
06-26-2002, 12:57 PM
thank god. all my X wing's wings are all dusty and dirty. none are primer color im sure. hmm i got camo shoes... blue camo but those are Chad Muska's 802s

Dath Maximus
06-26-2002, 09:43 PM
Kansas is full of rednecks!!

that and mexican workers.

and is it me or is it that us americans have to deal with the rednecks. ive not seem anyone post anything about rednecks in the uk

MasterD-LeyAmas
06-26-2002, 09:50 PM
'Round about here's in Misery, or Missouri, as you folks call it, we got rednecks, river rats, trailer trash, and hillbillies, all in one general area. Now don't that just beat all!

Dath Maximus
06-26-2002, 09:56 PM
Originally posted by MasterD-LeyAmas
'Round about here's in Misery, or Missouri, as you folks call it, we got rednecks, river rats, trailer trash, and hillbillies, all in one general area. Now don't that just beat all!

you mean Branson?

MasterD-LeyAmas
06-26-2002, 10:02 PM
Well, they're pretty much everywhere, but only the fancy ones are in Branson.

Arca Jeth
06-26-2002, 10:07 PM
Most of you are lucky. I live down in Texas..not by choice...but I live like 2-3 hours south-east of Dallas...a tiny tiny town made fully of redneck.(think of a town mad of medichlorines or whatever...but those for rednecks)IT IS HORRIBLE! Me and 7-8 friends are the only thing keeping us away from going crazy!

Dath Maximus
06-26-2002, 10:09 PM
i live in the mayberry of all towns. I am pretty much the only sane one here. we go to wal mart for fun!

MasterD-LeyAmas
06-26-2002, 10:15 PM
Hey, sounds like you know the area round here in Misery, Maximus... Cape Girardeau, Truman, Springfield?

Dath Maximus
06-26-2002, 10:19 PM
Spriendfield, Hollister.

My grandparents live in Hollister. They are white trash.
they live on poverty gulch. No lie!

I prefer to stay here in kansas though near the oklahoma border

MasterD-LeyAmas
06-26-2002, 10:24 PM
I'm in St. Chuck (St. Charles for the rest of y'all) and I went to school down at SMS, spent time in Springfield and Branson. Springfield's not that bad, have you ever been up to Truman college, or over to Cape Girardeau??? If you think Springfield's bad, don't ever go there.

And since I'm done talking about hicks now, I'll drop the hick accent.

maxtheman
07-13-2002, 03:36 AM
thi is some good shyat


also if
..your favorite singer is darth brooks
..you have 25 wookiesin your backyard and you cant get close to
any of em
..your breath could make a bantha fall over
.."hey ma, can i take the work speeder over to the main drag?"
..you have pictures of padme in a farmers hat and nothing else

leXX
07-13-2002, 04:29 AM
Originally posted by Dath Maximus
Kansas is full of rednecks!!

that and mexican workers.

and is it me or is it that us americans have to deal with the rednecks. ive not seem anyone post anything about rednecks in the uk

Well yeah, we have our fair share of Rednecks over here unfortunately. We call them plain old racists.

Darth Talliusc
07-13-2002, 04:30 AM
Originally posted by Spyque64
[ You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.[/B]


umm, dont mean to be a bratty nitpick but x-wings dont have doors. you enter through the cockpit WINDOW hatch, you then close the window and go. so i guess luke, wedge, biggs, porkins, janson, and all the other x-wing jocks are rednecks

Clem
07-13-2002, 04:33 AM
Cornwall <shudder>

Devon <shudder>

Dorset <shudder>

Somerset ......... now thats a different story .... its a classy place .... with modern people ...... and .... the Wurzels :)

s0ulblihtr
07-13-2002, 04:54 AM
Texas here... Dallas to be exact. Don't see too many rednecks where I'm at. We have plenty though. They are mostly in the suburbs (the country part) Like Balch Springs and Seagoville.

leXX
07-13-2002, 04:58 AM
Originally posted by Darth Clem
Cornwall <shudder>

Devon <shudder>

Dorset <shudder>

Somerset ......... now thats a different story .... its a classy place .... with modern people ...... and .... the Wurzels :)

The Wurzels...lmfao :lol:

There is a distinct lack of sheep shaggers in London, thank God!

XERXES
07-13-2002, 05:01 AM
you put the confederate flag on your star ship.

Kit fisto JK
07-13-2002, 05:05 AM
there are a lot of hick in wyoming

Clem
07-13-2002, 05:15 AM
sheep shaggers are in wales and New zealand lexx

the Inbred are down here

and the wurzels ROCK!! :)

hehe some of there songs are quite cool really

Darth Knight
07-13-2002, 05:18 AM
LOL that was relly funny i live in georgia so i know that stuff personaly

Nebelwerfer_
07-13-2002, 05:26 AM
you might be a redneck if you say this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Dath Maximus


Kansas is full of rednecks!!

that and mexican workers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

leXX
07-13-2002, 05:27 AM
Originally posted by Darth Clem
sheep shaggers are in wales and New zealand lexx

the Inbred are down here

and the wurzels ROCK!! :)

hehe some of there songs are quite cool really

farmers=sheep shaggers=racists

Clem
07-13-2002, 05:32 AM
cheeky!!

they not all racist :)

and its not only sheep

leXX
07-13-2002, 05:43 AM
:p

Nebelwerfer_
07-13-2002, 06:00 AM
My fellow americans...
you are embarassing me in front of the Europeans :( :mad: :o :o :o

Nebelwerfer_
07-13-2002, 07:53 AM
21.) The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.

23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.

25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.

26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.

27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

28.) You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

29.) Your moonshine is really made on the moon.

30.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

31.) Sandpeople back down from your mama.

32.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

33.) You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

34.) You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

35.) You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

36.) A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

37.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.

38.) You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

39.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.

40.) You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.

41.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

42.) The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

43.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...

Twins of Doom
07-13-2002, 08:13 AM
If after a space battle, you fix your ship with duct tape


nothing wrong with duct tape...if you do that to fix (or improve) your X-Wing...well...you watch too much RedGreen

:P

Clem
07-13-2002, 08:18 AM
Duct tape is like the force

it has a dark side

a light side

and holds the universe together

:)

Twins of Doom
07-13-2002, 08:22 AM
Originally posted by Darth Clem
Duct tape is like the force

it has a dark side

a light side

and holds the universe together

:)

so very true

Shadow Angel
07-13-2002, 08:32 AM
Umm, am I the only guy here who likes to have Confederate flags on their stuff?

Darth Groovy
07-13-2002, 06:59 PM
44. You where a Jeff Gordan jacket to the Boonta Eve Podrace.:racer: