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View Full Version : What would you do with a lightsaber?


Elegy
06-30-2002, 11:02 AM
None of us here might really be a Jedi, but there would still be plenty of useful functions right here in the real world for a lightsaber. Lost your keys? No problem just cut down the door with your handy lightsaber. Can't find a clean knife to cut your sandwich? Out comes the lightsaber. (I actually did that once with one of my swords here :D :D :D) Out of shaving razors? Look to the lightsaber. Getting mugged by the thug who hangs out in the alley? Nothing says **** you quite like a lightsaber! What useful functions can you come up with to use a lightsaber?

-[MotU]-Lyger|=-
06-30-2002, 11:05 AM
durring school when all those **** juniors and seniors groopies are blocking the halls. out comes my lightsaber slashing through those **** heads 5 by 5. then when there is a long line for lunch out comes my lightsaber. when some dumb ass starts talking smack. out comes my lightsaber slashing up his car.

obi
06-30-2002, 11:08 AM
I could think of many ways.

my top 10 list:

10.Paper Weight

9.Use it on some deadbeats that owe me money(from Watto, AOTC)

8.Get Osama

7.Night Lite

6.Hood ornament

5.Back scracher

4.Hand warming device(from Jedi Apprentice Books)

3.Hammer in nails(the handle part)

2.New and Improved Deer hunting

And the number one use for a lightsaber is..........

*opens envelope*

TO GET CHICKS!!!!!

:D

Darth Knight
06-30-2002, 11:20 AM
i would probaly be to scared to open and when i did i would like burn off my thumb or something

pik-ard
06-30-2002, 11:22 AM
Originally posted by Elegy
Nothing says **** you quite like a lightsaber!
:rofl:
:rofl:

thats pretty damn funny :D especially with the "!"

obi
06-30-2002, 11:25 AM
After I did the things I said I would in my top 10 list, I would pawn that Sucka off for like $40000000000000000000!!!!

Grets Sirob
06-30-2002, 11:31 AM
A lightsaber?
Hmm, not much.
Maybe mutilate C-3PO.

A firesaber is a completely different thing.
I'm sure I would incinerate many things.




:joreth: May the force be with you.

Vestril
06-30-2002, 11:54 AM
Originally posted by Grets Sirob
A lightsaber?
Hmm, not much.
Maybe mutilate C-3PO.

A firesaber is a completely different thing.
I'm sure I would incinerate many things.




:joreth: May the force be with you.

'In my house we call them 'uh-ohs' :p

I think I would use my lightsaber to get girls. How? You say?

I just don't know :(

shidobu
06-30-2002, 12:11 PM
1. destroy things, lots of things
2. carry it around and claim to be a Jedi
3. figure out and duplicate the technology within the lightsaber, thus allowing me to create more of them.
4. patent it and make millions
5. bring balance to the force

Darth Knight
06-30-2002, 01:17 PM
ok i got a new idea i would some how resurect jar jar and then slice him to a pile of ash



:saberg::jarjar: :D

Grets Sirob
06-30-2002, 01:21 PM
LOL

I'd rather cut down that annoying thing, oh what's his name?

*thinks*






C-3PO! That's his name(the annoying, prissy, undrestating irratant)


Hehe(too much math...),
:c3po: + :saberg: = :D




:joreth: May the force be with you.

Arkum
06-30-2002, 02:08 PM
a lightsaber, eh?

1. Go on a rampage against pathetic world leaders and politicians that scam us.

2. Slice and dice any punk who flicks you off on the road

3. Get back at everyone who should be shot. (More fun watch them get sliced)

4. Cut locked doors that you can't get into.

5. Slash up my computer at school. (I hate that thing)

6. Open pickle jars?
(just kidding)

King Andrei
06-30-2002, 05:26 PM
Can't really think of any uses for a lightsaber in the real world. Maybe decorative or something, I dunno...

dane
06-30-2002, 05:31 PM
GRAFITI!!!!!!!! LOL SRRY CANT SPELL

King Andrei
06-30-2002, 05:42 PM
Oh, yes, make grafiti, WITH A LIGHTSABER?

Arán
06-30-2002, 10:55 PM
I would try to hide it.
So it doesn't come in rong hands.
Or something.
:lsduel:

Elijah
06-30-2002, 11:04 PM
mmm are we saying with a light saber and the skills to use it?.... I'd block 100,000 Bullets wile taking everything i could from a small town bank :D

mmmmm Also:

Anoying nabors who whine about my dog barking (whihc doesnt btw) *slash slash swing scream*

i could think of more but its to early

Exterminator234
06-30-2002, 11:47 PM
heh bullets would disintegrate and wouldnt deflect back

JandoFett1842
07-01-2002, 12:09 AM
I would use it to "convice" teachers to give me A's.

Divine Spirit
07-01-2002, 01:19 AM
when my mum gets taken hostage by sand people i would use my lightsabre to kill all of them. even the women and children






no wait, thats anakin

:D

Crazy_Taco
07-01-2002, 01:54 AM
I would use a light sabe to slaughter small helpless animals, and slaughter all who oppose me....or just use it to open a bag of cheetos.

obi
07-01-2002, 02:27 AM
Originally posted by Divine Spirit
when my mum gets taken hostage by sand people i would use my lightsabre to kill all of them. even the women and children






no wait, thats anakin

:D

If I had a saber, I would cut through the tops of cars and try to stab people.

wait, Thats Anakin too.

If I had a saber, I would kill my former Mentors.

Wait, thats Anakin too.

ok ok ok, If I had a saber, I would try to pursuade my son to see my point of view.

ERG!! ALSO ANAKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D

Darth Joka'ar
07-01-2002, 02:34 AM
Well, I would use it for self-defence:D (Well I can apply some of my Kendo skills.)

Since I really want to carry a compact sword, so I guess this lightsaber will be suitable for me:D

Who Knows?
07-02-2002, 11:14 AM
1. maybe do a little yard work like cutting up limbs, and edging the yard, trimming bushes and trees.

2. maybe use it to sear meat as a way of cooking.

3. maybe to learn to use it properly as a weapon and to help with exercise.
4. maybe make burnt metal art.

5. maybe some other menial everyday tasks I can't think of.

Cyris
07-02-2002, 11:24 AM
(edit-Gonk- enough of that....)

shidobu
07-02-2002, 11:47 AM
Originally posted by Darth Joka'ar
Well, I would use it for self-defence:D (Well I can apply some of my Kendo skills.)

Since I really want to carry a compact sword, so I guess this lightsaber will be suitable for me:D


wouldn't a kodachi be more appropriate there? after all, once you ignite a lightsaber it is no longer compact.






**100th post w00t!!**

Twins of Doom
07-02-2002, 11:57 AM
screw a lightsaber, i'd be happy with a stun baton!:)

going around stunning everybody:D

Sam
07-02-2002, 12:19 PM
A lightsaber would be a good thing to take camping. chop fire wood and start fires and kill that stupid yogi bear for taking my picinic basket

Throno-Denkai
07-02-2002, 12:23 PM
I would form a jedi council:D

No not really. I would go and kill gangsters, mafias and stuff!!! What i am really trying to say is i would use it for good.

Chastan
07-02-2002, 12:54 PM
get up to six stars and then get the tank

Darth Joka'ar
07-02-2002, 01:09 PM
Well shinobu, wat I mean is the Lightsaber Hilt is much more shorter then a Kadochi rite?

When I ignite, I will have a standard Katana. Anyway I prefer Katana over Kadochi.

Pedantic
07-02-2002, 01:14 PM
Originally posted by obi-wan13
TO GET CHICKS!!!!!

:D

Heheh, "Wanna see my lightsaber?" ;)

Anyway, I would take care of those annoying freshmen and sophomores who act like they're on crack 24/7. ;) :D

Lime-Light
07-02-2002, 01:19 PM
Sell it for 50 billion dollars. Then steal it.

Shadow Angel
07-02-2002, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by Chastan
get up to six stars and then get the tank

Are you referring to Grand Theft Auto III?

Anyway, I'd use my lightsaber to become the absolute most popular guy in school. No more f'ing bullies are gonna make fun of me being obsessed with Star Wars. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! (I don't really have much of a problem with that, but still...)

Darth Groovy
07-02-2002, 01:44 PM
The first thing I would do is unscrew the back and see what size batteries it would take. Can you imagine if you were luke?

Luke: nods his head to r2 on the nearbye skiff, jumps off the gangplank and does a back flip in the air

r2: shoots the lightsaber out of his dome head

luke: grabs the saber :::cue music::: grins a little and......nothing. Suddenly jabba's guards push him into the sarlacc, as jabba laughs himself ****tless.

You can never have too many batteries.

Oh yeah, and at christmas time I wuould use it to carve the roast beast.:dmaul3:

MotionMan
07-02-2002, 02:12 PM
-I would lay around the house and order pizza, and when the dilivery boy sticks out his hand to collect the $ i would turn on my light saber and take his hand off. *SLAM* the door and eat my delicious pizza.

-I would walk around bumping into people real hard, especially muscle bound fools. When they turn around to talk smack or give me a dirty look, I would open up my coat a bit: Just enough for him to see the Saber hanging from my belt. Hell back down like a dog with his tail between his legs.

-I would go on the rosie O Donnel show and charge her with the same intensity that Mace charged Jango and *SWOOSH*! Ill take her fat chubby head off!

-I would open up large animals stomachs and sleep inside of their dead bodies.

-Of coarse after all these things I would be arested and sent to an insane asylum.



:)

Kit fisto JK
07-02-2002, 02:35 PM
I would try to pick up chicks but I would get slaped when i'd ask *you wana see me light saber*

hell I get slaped when I try to ask that now:rhett:

Kit fisto JK
07-02-2002, 02:38 PM
(edit-Gonk- *ahem*....)

Vestril
07-02-2002, 02:41 PM
Originally posted by Kit fisto JK


dont be a homofob

Yeah, seriously, I never even noticed that post. I'm reporting it though :mad:

Pedantic
07-02-2002, 02:42 PM
Hmmm...you mean "homophobe?" I didn't see him give any indication that he was afraid of homosexuals--did you?

Vestril
07-02-2002, 02:44 PM
Originally posted by Pedantic
Hmmm...you mean "homophobe?" I didn't see him give any indication that he was afraid of homosexuals--did you?

He said he wants to murder gay people. That sounds pretty homophobic to me ;). If he just didn't like them, he would ignore them. Hate is bred of fear.

Throno-Denkai
07-02-2002, 02:45 PM
Hmm, looks like all of you are in the path of the dark force:D

Pedantic
07-02-2002, 02:46 PM
Yes, I am afraid of Domino's pizza, that's why I hate it. :eyeraise: ;)

Kit fisto JK
07-02-2002, 02:57 PM
people usualy do hate things that they are afraid of :rhett:

Vestril
07-02-2002, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by Pedantic
Yes, I am afraid of Domino's pizza, that's why I hate it. :eyeraise: ;)

You hate it? I doubt it, perhaps you dislike it, but I doubt that you hate it, hate is a very strong word, and wanting to murder a person suggests that it is on a very deep level. If you disagree with me, and think that someone who wants to murder a general group of people who do nothing to harm others is hating on the same level as your dislike of Dominos Pizza, then I suggest you seek counseling (seriously).

Tyrion
07-02-2002, 02:59 PM
what would I do with a lightsaber?Go to school,light my lightsaber so no punks even think of do something to me:D

Kit fisto JK
07-02-2002, 03:00 PM
Originally posted by Vestril


You hate it? I doubt it, perhaps you dislike it, but I doubt that you hate it, hate is a very strong word, and wanting to murder a person suggests that it is on a very deep level. If you disagree with me, and think that someone who wants to murder a general group of people who do nothing to harm others is hating on the same level as your dislike of Dominos Pizza, then I suggest you seek counseling (seriously).

makes sence this does:rhett:

Pedantic
07-02-2002, 03:03 PM
And I doubt he actually wants to murder them. Don't worry, I have had counseling and found that I didn't need it (not to mention it wouldn't work anyway). ;)

Vestril
07-02-2002, 03:03 PM
Originally posted by Kit fisto JK


makes sence this does:rhett:

To be honest I'm really hoping that all of the posts related to that one are going to be deleted, mine included. That sort of thing doesn't have a place here, IMO :(

--Edit--
And I doubt he actually wants to murder them. Don't worry, I have had counseling and found that I didn't need it (not to mention it wouldn't work anyway).

I realize that, but even joking about it is really not cool...I mean if you replaced Gays with some racial slur, I think almost anyone would agree that it was pretty bad.

Kit fisto JK
07-02-2002, 03:21 PM
hay I started this and I should end it

killing people because there different is wrong

only kill if they have joined the dark side

:rhett:

Darth Groovy
07-02-2002, 03:46 PM
Eat at Joes!

Ben_Walker
07-02-2002, 04:00 PM
At a bar,somebody threatens me, off comes their limb.

At the gym, when some body is hogging the bar bells, I get them to hand it over.

Rule the school and kill the peer mediators. [peer mediators are students who try to resvolve conflict within the school]

Pedantic
07-02-2002, 04:01 PM
Better not say "kill." Some people won't like that very much. ;)

Darth Groovy
07-02-2002, 04:17 PM
I would like to stick into a tank of tropical fish....you know....just to see what it would do?!?


"Never listen to a fat man play the tuba. Always listen because you never know what you will hear."

_Darth Groovy:dmaul3:

GonkH8er
07-02-2002, 04:44 PM
Sorry guys... i edited a few posts and saw that there were a bunch more to do... so.....

You can all apologise to the thread starter for getting his thread closed :)