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Feral
07-03-2002, 06:03 AM
I'm suffering from low confidence level/self-esteem at the moment. I've got too much anger inside me that can't be healthy, and I need some sort of healthy way to relieve it. I tried smacking a football at a table, but it ddin't really help. I really don't want to take it out on myself or my friends.
I donm't know why I feel like this. I guess it's a lot of things, really. I feel stupid, weak, inadequate. I feel like I can't live up to society's expectations of me. I feel like no-one would really give a damn if I didn't go into school tomorrow. I don't know why. I've been laughing all week, despite verything that's happening; I'm getting beaten up, chased, and ignored, but I don't feel bullied. I just feel like it's my fault that verything is happening like this, ad thinking about it, I guess I'm right.
I'm sorry to load all of this onto you guys, but I've got no-one to speak to. No-one would understand. I've tried being myself. Maybe I'm not just good enough. Sure, I'm getting good grades, and my gaming is getting better all the time. I just don't feel like someone. I don't feel special. I just want to know that someone actually cares, but I can't get that kind of confirmation from anyone at the risk of looking like a nerd.
None of my friends seem to have this problem. It's only me. I feel...lonely.
I just need someone. Please help me.

Kj°len
07-03-2002, 06:08 AM
Wow.... well...we're still your friends no matter what so just know that we're here. Try swearing a lot in you next post or do one of those scream in bold italic underline 20 size letters?
I really don't know what to say.
Just wait til Natty gets here, she'll say something to reasure you, trust me.

Natty
07-03-2002, 10:03 AM
*gives Feral a biiiiiiiiiig cuddle* We all go through this Feral, I went through it, and if someone says they never went through what you're going through, they're full of crap and don't pay any attention to what they have to say :p. I know it sucks. If you want to take your anger out, what about a punching bag? OK I know I hate boxing, but a punching bag is a really good way to vent your anger, especially if you turn it into a person and stick the face of a person you don't like on the punching bag :) I also think you need to sit down and look at why you feel stupid, weak or inadiquate. I find that sometimes helps me when I go through phases of 'nobody loves me, everyone thinks I'm usless or stupid' admittedly I haven't gone through that for awhile, but by sitting down in a nice quiet place like my bedroom and looking at things I realized what was bugging me, what was making me upset and once I knew what it was, I was able to do something about it and turn it from a negative into a positive. You can change, but I don't mean in the fact that you change every single thing about you so you become someone your not, that's just not right and it's not fair, especially on you or the people your changing for

What I don't want to ever see you say again that getting beaten up is your fault- no one deserves to be beaten up, and usually those who bully others are somewhat jealous tossers with no life who get joy out of the fact they're making others feel bad.

Just remember, this might only be the net, but we love you for who you are. I hope you work it out sweety, and remember I'm always around if you ever wanna talk, and even if I'm not online you can always email me since my email addy is the same as the one I use for MSN messanger.

Kj°len
07-04-2002, 01:36 AM
I know that fighting isn't my ype of thing, but if they start it, why just let them?
While they start ragging out on you justmake a fist, make your whole arm stiff and give them an uppercut right into the jaw or stomach.
And not just a normal punch I mean like lotsa energy puch a fast WHHHHHHHAMP! Its the only thing that'll keep them down. My dad told me that once you knock down the leader, no one will mess with you again. And well once in kindergarden, 2 kids ganged up on me and start punching me in the stomach, they wouldn't stop until one of them came down with a bloody nose, and I didn't get in trouble an my parents didn't even know about it until this year too, strange....
You won't get in trouble if you say you were protecting yourself.
It says in the bible that the thief will recieve punishment from God you will not if you kill the thief to protect yourself.
That doesn't mean kill one of them, just stop them from attacking you. Ever since my kindergarden insident, i was never beaten up to this day. So really, I don't think I've ever een completely beaten up ever.
Head my words to help you find peace my brother.

one time guy
07-04-2002, 02:30 AM
i feel depressed - probably coz my stomach hurts at the moment.....ow!

anyway try to go out alot with your friends - out being out into the fresh air,that should clear your head a bit.It sounds corny but i always feel better after being out in the frsh air,Happier.

Joshi
07-04-2002, 05:03 AM
ah yes, i went through that stage in my life only a couple of months ago so you should be happy that your getting it over and done with early. this is basically life a mid-life crisis, but slightly younger if you will. you said you just need someone. well you have someone, you have a lot of people, you have us. sure, were just words, but words can be a lot more powerful than almost anything on this earth. and most importantly (stop me if i'm wrong, do i sound like a psychiatrist?) you have yourself. i find that finding some time to think things over myself is the best thing. you don't even have to think about your problem's or why you are so upset, but just think about something, anything, just take your mind away from the rest of the world. don't read a book or play a game, that would involev trying to be someone else, you want to try and find you (great, now i sound like a priest). you find yourself and you tell yourself exactly whats on your mind. believe it or not, yourself will actually give an answer and believe it ort not, that answer, will be exactly what you're looking for. try it, trust me, it worked for me. a few months ago, i was as annoyed as hell, thought no one would miss me if i were gone (although i wasn't seriously considering suicide) and that society wouldn't need me and doesn't need me. i was almost right, there is no place for me in society, and so i just move through it like a fish through water. i am not here, and i never was. that's what life is like for me. that is not what life is going to be like for you, but you will find i way, trust me, you will, just like it will.;)

Guybrush122
07-04-2002, 06:31 AM
First off, Feral....well, your friends...your TRUE friends will always be there. Always.

Second off, when you are beaten up, chased, bullied, and ignored it isnt your fault. Its societys fault. When kids hate you because youre different and try to hurt you (emotionally or physically) to make themselves feel important, know that it isnt your fault. THEY are the little p u s s i e s who dont have a brain. I dont give a rats ass how many friends they have or how many people like them or how successful their f u c k i n g daddies are ... if they hate you because youre an individual, they can go f u c k themselves and their daddy right up their tight a s s e s.

Third off, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Hundreds of Thousands of Millions of Billions of people have this same problem. Dont feel lonely, because there is always someone to turn to. Whether theyre in New York, Eilat, or Austraila ;)

Fourth off, don't think that you arent special. You are. And I dont mean that in a cheesy disney movie sorta way. I mean that you are unique ... no one can take that away from you...no matter how hard you try to let them. Also, who cares if someone thinks youre a nerd? You shouldnt. Ask your closest friend if he or she really cares...if they are a really good friend theyll understand, or at least respect your question...and theyll give you an honest-to-God answer (relax, Mek, its just an expression).

Finally, you arent loading anything onto us...I, at least, am glad I can contribute to help you out in this situation. Remember to keep your chin up and think of better days, ok?

murta
07-04-2002, 07:35 AM
Too lazy to read what everyone else has typed, so I might be repeating here. First of all, never stop being yourself, if other people can't accept you, then they have the problem, not you.
Remember these points:
- Pretty much everyone feels like this through their teen years, it's a very confusing time, but won't last forever
- The same can be said for school, you may like scool, but not the people that go there or whatever, but you won't be going there for that much longer and afterwards you'll move on and almost certainly do better in life than most of those guys that are treating you like crap. You'll also meet plenty of new people
- There's too many different ways of dealing with bullies for me to give advice, I've solved different situations in different ways. I've had threats of stabbings, so I kinda hid and that went away after a few days. I've had a bit of a beating from one guy, but I told a teacher and never had in trouble from him again, although I obviously got a bit of a piss take from the other guys. I've had some people picking on me and I've thought back (and I'm talking some of the biggest guys in school). It all depends on what place you're in, who they are and whatever you think is right. I wouldn't recommend voilence, especially if it will result in them getting 'backup' or whatever.

I would advise taking up a different hobby if possible. I mean I love playing compter games too, but try to take up a sport or something that will llead to more new people. Skateboarding's a cheap and rather easy hobby/sport, the guys are cool plus you can truck people in the face with you're board if they piss you off

Fender
07-05-2002, 12:27 AM
Originally posted by Guybrush122
New York, Eilat, or Austraila ;)

and Bampton.

Feral
07-05-2002, 08:55 PM
Well, today, I twatted someone. I cut my knuckle, but I feel better about myself. Go figure.

Natty
07-05-2002, 09:11 PM
Hope the cutting of your knuckle was an accident and your not deliberatly causing harm to yourself :(

murta
07-05-2002, 09:46 PM
Originally posted by Natty
Hope the cutting of your knuckle was an accident and your not deliberatly causing harm to yourself :(

Well quite obviously he cut his knuckle hitting the guy

Feral
07-05-2002, 11:07 PM
lol...my form teacher says he was "impressed" with the way I handled the fight. And the guy, who I leathered, says he won, and so do his bumchums, but even someone who doesn't really like me and with whom I have been involved in a few fights said I won.

And yes, my knuckle getting cut was hitting the guy.

Natty
07-05-2002, 11:20 PM
You should know what I'm like now by now, I just worry a lot and get all mothering.

I think most people don't like to admit when they've lost a fight, I do it all the time, usually it's not with punching people up, but obviously in arguments I'll scream until I'm blue in the face and then tell everyone I won when quite obviously most of the time I didn't

Kj°len
07-07-2002, 05:29 AM
Originally posted by Natty
You should know what I'm like now by now, I just worry a lot and get all mothering.

You should be a mom! :D

Nice job Feral, you took me advise an punched him? And didn't get in trouble see?

Guybrush122
07-07-2002, 11:21 PM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
lol...my form teacher says he was "impressed" with the way I handled the fight. And the guy, who I leathered, says he won, and so do his bumchums, but even someone who doesn't really like me and with whom I have been involved in a few fights said I won.

And yes, my knuckle getting cut was hitting the guy.


YEAH! RRRRRAH! HARDCORE!!!!! WAAAAH! :-P

vinpor
07-08-2002, 07:17 PM
well I gave you my advise already, i dont think you really payed any atention to it, so there is'nt much more i can do...


(urk!my avatar sucks! i didnt choose it!wtf!?)