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gorganfloss
09-12-2002, 12:15 AM
This is yet another thread about jokes.

Heres my favorite:

Theres this burglar who just broke into someoneshouse. He looks around with his fashlight and sees a sterio. He walks over and starts undoing the wires. All of a sudden, he hears this voice saying, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he ducks behind a couch. A minute later he stands up and looks around with his flashlight. Satisfied that no ones there, he starts undoing the wires again. Again the voice says, "Jesus is watching you." And yet again he ducks down. He then stands up and looks around with the flashlight, this time seeing a parrot in a cage. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Was that you?" The bird replies, "Jesus is watching you." So then the burglar asks, "Are you Jesus?" THe bird says, "No. Im Moses." The burglar then says, "What kind of stupid people would name their parrot Moses?!" The bird says, "The same ones who named their rottweiler Jesus."

The End

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:01 AM
:lol: That cheered me up thank you

Edit: am I The only one whos going to post in your thread like last time

gorganfloss
09-12-2002, 01:14 AM
Am I really SO boring that $am is the only one who tolerates me???????
:rolleyes:

ShockV1.89
09-12-2002, 01:17 AM
Heh, that was funny. It got pushed down before so I didnt see it. Here's one I got from an Eddie Murphy skit. Mildly vulgar (not really) so I'm gonna put it in a spoiler box.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. Suddenly, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with **** sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No." So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:17 AM
I would think so *stops and thinks* hey wait a minute.



Edit this is the only thread thats not full of ****

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:19 AM
Originally posted by ShockV1.89
Heh, that was funny. It got pushed down before so I didnt see it. Here's one I got from an Eddie Murphy skit. Mildly vulgar (not really) so I'm gonna put it in a spoiler box.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. Suddenly, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with **** sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No." So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.
Ive heard that one still funny though

gorganfloss
09-12-2002, 01:20 AM
Originally posted by $am




Edit this is the only thread thats not full of ****

Not after Shock's joke about animals taking a sh!t though.:p

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:21 AM
He posted that then a second later I posted

ShockV1.89
09-12-2002, 01:29 AM
Bah. I posted before you did.

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:31 AM
Thats what I said

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:33 AM
Wtf I had 499 posts a minute ago

ShockV1.89
09-12-2002, 01:34 AM
I know, I'm just proving my idiocy by posting something without completely reading what I was posting about. Dont mind me, I'll go chew on a squeaky toy now.

>squeak squeak<

HellFyre69
09-12-2002, 01:36 AM
Here's a good joke

There is a 8 month pregnant woman who gets into a car accident, which leads to a coma. 1 year later she wakes up, and wonders what happen to her baby. The doctor stomrs in to see the miracle, and asks her if she's ok. She responds she is, and asks the doctor what happened to her baby. The doctor responds that she had twins! a boy and a girl.Then she's like "WOW!" and then shey says "what should I named them". The doctor says that her brother already took care of it. The woman was kind a worry, since his brother was retarded. The doctor says "He named the girl Denise (the female name for denis)" The woman says "wow that is a beatifull name! wut did he named my son!?" THe doctor says "The Nephew".



lol

for those who doesnt get it

SPOILERS For the JOKE (read if u didnt get the joke)0
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Denise=The niece
The nephew= The nephew

Darth Groovy
09-12-2002, 01:39 AM
Good job for trying to break up the sadness. We could all use a little bit of cheer. Your effort is commendable.

Sam
09-12-2002, 01:40 AM
wered that docter get his degree

gorganfloss
09-12-2002, 07:31 PM
Boffo's clown school.

Darth Talliusc
09-13-2002, 12:13 AM
i read a while ago about a 77 year old man that was sent into space. nasa apparently wanted to test the effects of outerspace on the elderly. my question is WHY? are we planning on sending the elderly into space in the near future? is florida full?













heheh, sorry floridians but it had to be said!

Sam
09-13-2002, 12:23 AM
Originally posted by Darth Talliusc
i read a while ago about a 77 year old man that was sent into space. nasa apparently wanted to test the effects of outerspace on the elderly. my question is WHY? are we planning on sending the elderly into space in the near future? is florida full?

The nursing homes of the future

gorganfloss
09-13-2002, 11:46 AM
Theyre seeing if they can send the origional cast of Star Trek up there.:p

Darth Groovy
09-13-2002, 12:18 PM
The funniest thing I've seen all day! (http://www.starwarsspoofs.com/maul.html)

WolfmanNCSU
09-13-2002, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by gorganfloss
"What kind of stupid people would name their parrot Moses?!" The bird says, "The same ones who named their rottweiler Jesus."


Good joke. I have heard it once before.

I named my parrot Caesar. :D

Kstar__2
09-13-2002, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy
The funniest thing I've seen all day! (http://www.starwarsspoofs.com/maul.html)

i just love that site!:D

acdcfanbill
09-13-2002, 07:47 PM
excellent groovy, i laught all ten times i watched it :D

Agen
09-13-2002, 07:54 PM
Yay! star wars spoofs! Hehe they're hilarious. Especially Bespin.

kamiclone
09-13-2002, 08:03 PM
Here is one i heard at school today. No LISTEN YOU PEOPLE DONT SAY I AM RACSIST OR ANYTHING!! I HEARD IT AND IT IS A JEW JOKE! I LIKE THEM SO DONT REPLY SAYING THAT I AM UNKIND OR ANYTHING!!

here it is

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
The pizza doesnt scream in the oven.

gorganfloss
09-13-2002, 08:04 PM
Yup Bespin is the best one...:p

Agen
09-13-2002, 08:10 PM
That's nasty kami but i liek it :D

I liek Death star too hehe. Depends on the mood, when vader laughs, you jsut feel like laughing.

Darth Groovy
09-14-2002, 05:27 AM
Originally posted by acdcfanbill
excellent groovy, i laught all ten times i watched it :D

I bookmarked it so that whenever I have a bad day it will cheer me up, works like a charm!




P.S., it reminds me of something I would do in Jedi Outcast! LOL!

gorganfloss
09-14-2002, 06:06 AM
Originally posted by Darth Groovy






P.S., it reminds me of something I would do in Jedi Outcast! LOL!


:lol: me too...

Jedi Spy
09-14-2002, 01:24 PM
MY JOKE! :

What is E.T. short for?





























He has little legs!! :D :D :D