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View Full Version : Awsome Story, Must See!!!!!


TiE23
09-13-2002, 07:58 PM
Give me your E-mail address and I will give you an awsome/funny STAR WARS related story writen by and amuture author that I know,

If you give me your E-mail address, I will send this story ASAP, it is still in the works, but it is really funny, not that long, now it is 70 kb, approx, when it is finished, it should be about 200-300KB in size.


REALLY GOOD STORY

ASAP

GIVE E-MAIL ADDRESS

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

FUNNY

AND A COVER ILLISTATION COULD BE ON THE WAY :) :)

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 08:05 PM
I'll give it a shot. :)

Jangoboba7@aol.com

Sivy
09-13-2002, 08:08 PM
why don't you post a sample? alot of people of cautious about giving out their e-mail address

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:11 PM
I am not one of those S**t head hackers, I am a kid in 7th grade that only knows how to down load mods. :rolleyes:

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 08:13 PM
Originally posted by Tie 23
I am not one of those S**t head hackers, I am a kid in 7th grade that only knows how to down load mods. :rolleyes:

Uh-oh, 7th graders aren't allowed to swear. ;) :p

I would like to read the story, I like SW stuff,... and stuff. :D

Sivy
09-13-2002, 08:16 PM
Originally posted by Tie 23
I am not one of those S**t head hackers,


yes you might not be, but someone browsing these forums might be.

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:18 PM
I already sent it to Z bomber, tell them its okay, zbomber:)

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 08:20 PM
OK, I'm reading it now. :)

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:25 PM
Tell them i am not a crap head hacker, okay?:D

Kyth'emos
09-13-2002, 08:26 PM
I don't see the advantage of emailing it over just posting it here. And god knows who lurks here, I'lll pass.

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:27 PM
send it to your friends, and give it a rating from 1-10

Sivy
09-13-2002, 08:30 PM
Originally posted by Tie 23
Tell them i am not a crap head hacker, okay?:D


it not hust hackers you've got be careful of.
some people try to get as many e-mail adresses as they can and sell them to advertising companies, then before you know it you're getting 50 e-mails a day advertising everything from insurance to viagra, happened to a friend of mine.

i'm just warning people not to post their e-mail addresses

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:31 PM
Originally posted by Kyth'emos
I don't see the advantage of emailing it over just posting it here. And god knows who lurks here, I'lll pass.

I don't know how to post it on the forums, the only way that i can do it is e mail it to people who want it,

it has 10 pages, 7,451 words, 222 paragraphs, and 544 lines.

Sivy
09-13-2002, 08:34 PM
Originally posted by Tie 23


I don't know how to post it on the forums, the only way that i can do it is e mail it to people who want it,

it has 10 pages, 7,451 words, 222 paragraphs, and 544 lines.


just copy and paste some of it, you're allowed 40,000 letters.

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:35 PM
aw damn, now no one is going to see my friend's story,
if some one knows how to put the story and the forums, then-, can you do it ZBomber? plz

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 08:36 PM
guys. Its not a virus. :)

lol, I'm at chapter 3. He thought it was a PEZ disspenser.

LMAO!

Sivy
09-13-2002, 08:39 PM
what type of file is it?
just open it, highlight it, right click, copy, then just post reply, right click, paste.

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:43 PM
HERE IT IS!!!!!!!

STAR WARS
ACID DEATH




Chapter 1
Obi-wan is cranky


From the beautiful skyscrapers of Coruscant, to the slimy poor sick sludgy streets where violent people stayed. Obi-wan Kenobi and his padawan learner, Anakin, were investigating a huge criminal, the sludge man! Taking place four year before he was partly dismembered by Count Dooku.
“Why do we have to do this investigation, master?” Anakin questioned, “I mean why can’t Master Windu or Yoda do this? I never saw them do any work like this. All I’ve seen them do is play Go Fish and sit on their butts makin’ decisions on what the Jedi should do,” He went on, “and last week at the Temple, was Free Hamburger Day. What a nightmare it was, some guy came up to me and asked for another one. He already had 45 and he looked like he was about to barf, he ate 45 quarter pounders, do the math, and that doesn’t seem possible.”
Obi-Wan wasn’t pleased. He then noticed pink spot on his robes. “What is that?” He pointed.
“What is what?” Anakin said nervously. He knew he was in trouble.
“That on your robe?” said Obi-Wan, still pointing. Anakin tried to hide it from view. “Is that lipstick?”
“So,” whimpered Anakin, “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Oh, so you were making out with another teenager again,” He said disgusted, “ you know it is against the Jedi order to love!”
“ I didn’t kiss her! She kissed me, my lips didn’t even touch her.” Anakin explained. He then opened a pouch on his utility belt and got out a wet toweled and rubbed off the lipstick on his left shoulder. Obi-Wan was thinking to give him baby-sitting duty for the Jedi toddlers for a day. But he forgot about the subject and went right back to investigate the crime scene. He took out some tweezers and grabbed a piece of slime and put it in a plastic baggie as evidence.
“We should take this back to the temple for study,” Obi-Wan said firmly, “ we then have to report to Chancellor Palpatine to update the crime to him!”
“Why do we have to go to him?” Anakin continued, “He smiles every time something nasty happens, and when he does, he looks evil, like he has the dark side with him or something.”
“ Why do you have to keep making rumors about people? I’m on the edge with you padawan. I shall see to it that these rumors coming out of your mouth will be no more.” Obi-wan swore. He heard Anakin activate his light saber. He turned around quickly to see what was the matter. Anakin swung at the ground vertically to get something on the floor. Obi-Wan rushed over while Anakin was deactivating his saber. “What happened?” Obi-Wan asked worriedly.
“Damn filthy ****roaches,” Anakin looked at Obi-Wan’s angry rigid face and suddenly looked for an excuse, “You know there all icky and slimy and it got near my boot and touched it. I was defending my foot with my light saber and I cut the thing half…. To save my foot. Sorry Master.”
“ That is no excuse! That was improper use of your saber!” Obi-Wan yelled, “ I’ve had enough of you, get into the speeder, I don’t want a single word from you. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, mas-“
“Shut up! I told you not a word.” Obi-Wan wasn’t patient enough for this anymore. Anakin piloted off with a cheesed off master. The heat on the streets was making him cranky. He hoped.
When they got to the temple, Obi-wan and Anakin rushed into the temple. They walked quickly across the great hall and dropped off the evidence in the lab. “ Now, lets get to the capital quickly.” Obi-Wan said. And they sped off to their destination.
Chapter 2
Anakin gets out of hand



Anakin went towards the parking garage. He stopped in front of the ticket machine and took the ticket it deposited. “ What a rip-off! 300 credits an hour for visitors.” Anakin complained. He parked the speeder in a close-by parking space. They hopped off and went into a luxury elevator. Obi-Wan pressed floor “251” and relaxed to the elevator music. It was a piano playing a soft tune. “Can’t-handle-the-music!” Anakin groaned. He then opened up the elevator’s computer screen, he typed in music, then “Lenny Kravitz” and pressed enter.
The soft music suddenly turned into an electric guitar solo in very loud volume. It made Obi-Wan jump, his blood shot eyes quickly turned to Anakin, who was playing air guitar to the music while biting his lip and bending his knees. Obi-Wan then pushed Anakin aside, making him fall, Obi-Wan then opened the screen and pressed off for the volume. “That is the second time you did something unpredicted this day!” Obi-Wan glared at him, “Anakin, don’t do anything without my permission or the council’s. You lose your free time force privileges for a week.”
“ A week! Why can’t it be for the afternoon or something?” Anakin said disappointed.
“ I said a week! Deal with it!” Obi-Wan was finished with his behavior, “ Or should I make it two.” Anakin kept his mouth shut. “ Good, and keep that way for a while.”
The elevator slowed to a halt and the doors slid open. They walked into a small hall with two glass doors at the end with coruscant guards. The two Jedi walked to the doors. “You wait here while I check in,” Obi-Wan said softly, “No goofing around.” Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan went through the doors to the front desk.
Anakin looked around from where he was standing, the red floor, the typical office plants, and the smell of fresh ink from the nearby printing office. He then spotted one of the guards flinching. Anakin then smiled mischievously and silently walked over. “ Oh, do you have an itch?” The guard didn’t move, “What you need is a makeover.” Anakin was having too much fun with this, “ Now I see what’s making you itch, it’s your polyester underwear. It is making your crouch sweaty which is making it itch.” Anakin saw that the guards face was becoming tempted with sweat on his face. Anakin went on, “ It can’t be that hot in here, and it is 72 degrees inside. Now why would a guard like you be having his crouch sweaty which was making it itchy on a day like this, hmmm.” Anakin made a pose in thinking; he saw sweat dripping off the guard’s face, which made Anakin smile even more, “Yeah, with all that sweat makin’ me even itch all over.” He started to scratch himself all over his body to influence the guard to do it too. The guard suddenly gritted his teeth to resist scratching.
“ANAKIN!” Obi-Wan yelled. Anakin froze in his place shocked. He turned around slowly, there he saw Obi-Wan fumigated with anger because of him. “Anakin come here!” Anakin rushed over to him.
“Y-Yes master,” said Anakin smiling innocently.
“ That is the second time as my padawan that you messed with a guard about his crouch being sweaty,” Obi-Wan said calming down, “ I’m signing you up for a week at The Jedi Disciplinary School.”
“ Not again,” Anakin whined.
“ Now come on, we have to meet with the Chancellor in ten minutes.” Obi-Wan finished.
They walked through the glass doors when Anakin saw from the corner of his eye saw the guard scratching. He laughed. Obi-Wan looked at him weirdly. They went through another set of doors to a long hall with many doors and workers going in and out of them. A protocol droid walked past them while Anakin said, “What’s up baby, what’s up s**t.”
“Anakin!” Obi-Wan snapped.
“I’m TC-14 at your service, this way please.” It said
“That name sounds familiar,” Obi-Wan said, “sorry about my padawan here.”
“I get that often from teenagers his age, no biggie,” said TC-14. The droid took them to a small boardroom; there was a small black rectangular table with five chairs plus the Chancellor’s chair with a miniature ray shield generator, A/C, and cup holder. The Jedi each took a seat on either side, but Obi-Wan thought it would be best that he would sit closer to the Chancellor’s chair with Anakin beside him. Anakin was not pleased with this.
They sat there waiting for Palpatine for twenty minutes tops. Anakin suddenly beckoned for TC-14 and asked for Pepto Bismal. The droid went to get it if they had any in the first aid area.
“Why do you need the medicine for?” Obi-Wan asked. But Anakin had a contorted face that he couldn’t really speak.
He finally said with trouble, “I-I have a s-stomach ache,” when he finished and calmed down there was a disturbing noise “BAFOOOOOOM.” With an automatic reaction, Obi-Wan put on his breather. Now Anakin wore a relieved look on his face, “ Ah, that is better.” A wafting fart floated in the boardroom.
“Geese Anakin, what did you eat,” said Obi-Wan, speaking through his breather.
“Remember that Pepito’s restaurant last night,” Anakin said.
“Yeah.”
“Well I ordered the tacos and space beans. You know, guaranteed to have at least one big fart, I ate it all,” TC-14 came back with one pill and a glass of water. “Thank you” Anakin said, already feeling better, but took the pill incase he still has gas.
“You were lucky, that was the last pill,” said TC-14. Obi-Wan finally removed his breather.
Five minutes later Chancellor Palpatine entered, “Whoa, smells like a bathroom in here,” wafting the smell away from his nose. “Sorry I was late, had diarrhea had to get it all out my system since the Pepto Bismal was all gone.” Anakin, for a second, felt guilty. “Now what’s going on?”
“There is a criminal at large on the streets of Coruscant, the criminal goes by the name Acid Death. We are trying to find out the true identity of this criminal which is in progress right now at the temple.” Obi-Wan explained. “Where ever he goes, he lets acid cover the streets.”
“What kind of streets? Is the acid on the busy streets?” Palpatine asked curiously.
“ No, so far the acid has been on barren streets for now. So, not many people know about it right now. My padawan and I came to you to tell you of this crime and ask your opinion solution on this matter.” Obi-Wan said formally.
“ What color is the acid?” Palpatine asked.
“ Green with a yellowish hue and air bubbles, it can burn through solid steal,” Obi-Wan replied.
“ Did any witnesses see this terrorist?”
“No.”
“Did you two see the terrorist?”
“No.”
“So, the only evidence you have is acid?”
“Yes,” said Obi-Wan frowning. Palpatine gave a weak smile, (“See, see,” hissed Anakin,).
“Can it show the location of the criminal?” Palpatine asked.
“Only once we found the identity of the suspect and only if it has personal records,” said Obi-Wan. Palpatine’s smile widened. Anakin stared at him. “We only came here to update you on suspects on this planet Chancellor, that is all.”
“Yes I know,” said Palpatine, “ you have updated me enough. If you like you may go, and be thankful that it is Saturday, the parking garage fees are free. Mints?”
“No, thank you,” Obi-Wan waved.
“I’ll have some please,” and Anakin took a fistful of 9 or 10 mints and placed them in his utility pouch. “See ya,” he waved.
“Ah, good-bye,” said Chancellor Palpatine. Then he rushed to the bathroom.
Obi-Wan went down to the front desk and Anakin went straight to the guards. “Did you miss me?” He asked jokingly, “Now where have I left off,” he saw the guard starting to sweat, “oh yeah, I can knit you new underwear for the up coming summer, I can make you cotton underwear, they have a very nice fitting and they won’t make your crouch sweaty. You don’t want it to be like one great prune. Do you? Well I can order three pairs,” he gets out a pretend order slip, “ and they cost 395 credits if you need any.”
Anakin saw Obi-Wan coming out of the door, he rushed over to avoid trouble again. “Well that is a record for you, three hours without getting into trouble. I should buy you some ice cream,” Obi-Wan said slyly. Anakin chuckled uncomfortably.







Chapter 3
The Jedi Disciplinary School


It has been three days since the meeting with the Chancellor on criminals and suspects. It was two hours till the week of hell at The Jedi Disciplinary School. Anakin waited in line for check-in with his master. This was his fifth time going to this place, but it wasn’t the Jedi record. A guy named Flats Fliggen has been there 42 times, because when he is out on the streets with his master, he would punch any civilian that got near him.
Anakin was next in line. He forwarded to the desk that was free and it was someone he noticed before. It was Jedi Ragu-lu. Anakin walked up to him, “Name?” Before Anakin could answer, “Oh, I don’t need your name. I already know who you are,” said Ragu-lu, checking his papers. “It seems that it is your fifth time here at this school, Anakin, is it not?” His eyebrows rose. He was an old human Jedi with a long white beard, slightly wrinkled face, bald at the head, shorter than an average man, and with bright blue eyes. “So, what is it this time master Obi-Wan?”
“Ah,” Obi-Wan said quite embarrassed, “Calling a guard’s crouch sweaty, and tempting the guard to scratch it.”
“That’s the second time he did it as a padawan,” said Ragu-lu unsurprised, “I remember the last time you were here, Anakin. You were sent here for a month, because you gave a civilian your light saber, tricking him that it was a Pez dispenser.” He continued while Obi-Wan looked purposely away, “The civilian took it without question, he pointed the emitter side into his mouth and pressed the activator,” he gave a moment’s pause. “ He instantly died when the blade went through his head, and you laughed your butt off at this,” Anakin gave a small silent laugh at this, which nobody noticed, Ragu-lu gave an unfriendly frown. Anakin kept silent.
Ragu-lu stamped a ticket that told him where to go, what he did, and how long he’s in for. Ragu-lu dismissed him to a line to the school. Obi-Wan had left him since masters were not allowed in with their padawans, and Anakin was left alone with other padawans. Fifteen minutes later, there was a sign that said in red dots, “fifty minutes until hell,” it also said, “you are virtually 60 feet away from it.”
A padawan in font of him with a Mohawk lit a cigarette while the line moved around a corner. There, there was a mechanical Yoda. It said, “Drugs are bad for you, it is.” The guy with the Mohawk took his cigarette, sucked on it then blew the smoke at the machine. At coincidence, the mechanical Yoda coughed. The padawan with the Mohawk laughed with his friends, “Cigarettes, bad it is,” it continued, “Don’t do drugs. Dumb, you are, if you do.”
The line moved again making Anakin able to see the end of the line. The mechanical Yoda’s voice faded as Anakin got closer to the end. The padawan in front of him, yes the guy in the Mohawk, turned around and flicked his almost done cigarette at the mechanical Yoda’s robe. It hit the machine, burning a hole in the cloth showing the metallic parts inside. Anakin observed that there were many burned holes on the cloth, at least a hundred with a black ring around each of them.
The end of the line drew near. He was the tenth person in line, ninth, eighth, seventh. One by one in baby steps it got closer. Until he was next in line, “Next!” The droid shouted. Anakin moved up to the booth, “Ticket,” it asked. Anakin gave the ticket to the droid; it then ripped off a part of the ticket and handed it back. Then the droid said in a friendly recording of a Jedi, “Enjoy your week stay at hell, there is a gift shop on your left with crappie hellish things to take back home, and at your right there is directory assistance if it is your first time here, good luck at this school.”
Anakin went through the entry bars into the main room. It was wide as a four-lane highway, and it was a big circular room that had purple wallpaper with paper light sabers as a decoration. The room was connected with three large halls. The left one was The Hall for the Weak-Minded. The middle hall was named The Hall for the Violent, and the last one was called The Hall for the Troublemakers.
Anakin looked at his ticket, it said to go to The Hall of Troublemakers. “Figures!” He rolled his eyes. And walked slowly into the hall.
There was announcement on the P.A. system, it was a Jedi woman, “Twenty minutes till hell,” she yelled.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan went to a bar near the temple where most Jedi get out to drink a few. When Obi-Wan got there, he saw a new sign on the wall behind the bar. There was a new law passed out to the alcohol levels. It said, “Hereby of Coruscant law, the alcohol blood level has been changed for the following species,” Obi-Wan read on, “ Humans are changed to .07%, Rodians .31%, Rye-ees .09%, Dugs .02%, and Weequay to .13%.”
“ It is about time they changed it, it used to for humans .1%,” Obi-Wan turned around to see who it was. It was Mace Windu, the second most powerful Jedi in the council. “I always see the Jedi drunk when they came back to the council over the weekend, but they were within the legal limit. Sit down.” He offered a seat to Obi-Wan, and he took it, “What is wrong master Jedi, is Anakin okay?”
“No,” Obi-Wan said dully.
“ What happened?” Said Mace with compassion.
“I sent Anakin for a week at The Disciplinary School,” said Obi-Wan stressed.
“What for?”
“I signed him up because he called a Coruscant guard’s crouch sweaty and tempting the guard to itch it, just for fun,” saying this with a bit of anger.
“Let me get you a drink, it will make you feel better,” Mace assured Obi-wan.
“No,” Obi-Wan said instantly with a groan, but Mace ignored him.
“Ah, waitress,” he called out.
The waitress came quickly with a tray of six empty glasses plat formed on her hand. “What will it be boys?” She said in a sluggish tone.
“I’ll have the Jedi special drink and my friend will have anything with at least 60% alcohol,” Mace smiled.
“Can we have some chips on the side with my drink?” said Obi-Wan with his head on the table.
“Sure, so that is one Jedi special drink and anything that has at least 60% alcohol, I would suggest the Margarita with an overdose of tequila. Is that alright?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Obi-Wan impatiently.
“ And chips on the side,” she finished, “I’ll be back with your order.” She left quickly to the kitchen.
“This place isn’t as crowded as it used to,” said Mace trying to start a conversation, but Obi-Wan wasn’t in the mood.
“Just leave me be,” Obi-Wan said with a distressed look.
“Fine,” said Mace, “Oh, our order is here.” The waitress came with a blue glass and a wide wine glass, which was probably Obi-Wan’s drink.
“Here you go, Jedi special drink and the Margarita with an overdose of tequila, and here are your chips, cutie,” She winked.
Obi-Wan looked up at Mace when the waitress left, “Waitresses do that to cheer men up when they look down in the dumps,” he shrugged. Obi-Wan started to eat his Bantha chips.

* * *

Back at the temple where Anakin was waiting for his class to start, the Jedi announcer spoke again, “Five minutes left!”
The class doors opened and tired students came out with casts and scars on their bodies. Anakin gulped with fear, he had a bad feeling about the instructor. Well duh, you would have a bad feeling if scared and hurt students came from the classroom. Anakin hoped it wasn’t Major Maul, he is the strictest teacher of the school, and he treats the Jedi like soldiers instead of peacekeepers.
Anakin entered the room when it looked empty with students. Soon after him, other students entered the room. It was a good size of a room; it was lined with twenty bunk beds on the door side, and a big white floor space was in the middle. The walls were lined with a pale white. Anakin looked around more; he did not see the teacher yet. He saw that other students were choosing their bunks. Anakin quickly chose a bunk before the good ones were taken.
“May I have your attention, please,” said the announcer on the P.A. system, “Your teacher requires you to form a line shoulder to shoulder facing away from your bunk beds when he arrives, and don’t make him angry. That is all,” she finished.
The door suddenly opened, “WHERE IS MY LINE!” Yelled an agitated voice. Automatically the students, including Anakin, ran to form a shoulder-to-shoulder line with their backs straight and chests out. “That’s better, but I want it to be faster this time!” The instructor started to walk along the line holding his light saber like a precious gun, “Let me introduce myself, my name is Major Maul,” Anakin made a horror look on his face, so did some other students, “I’ll be your instructor for this week, I don’t want to be as your enemy, but as your friend. You must obey anything I say to you, if you don’t, you will face pain and torture.” He then looked around at the line, “You will not be called students from now on, but I will call you turds as the rank of a recruit is called.”
The door opened and a rather fat 17-year-old came in, “Fee Fi Fo Fum, which bean stalk did he fell from?” Major Maul s******ed.
“Oh, sorry I was late guys, I had trouble finding this place,” every turd looked at him, “What is it? Oh, no!”
Major Maul walked quickly to him, “You are late turd!”
“What? What did you call me?” He asked startled.
“What is your name boy?” He asked instead really close to his face.
“It’s V-Victor, sir,” still startled.
“Oh, well V-Victor.”
“It is Victor, sir,” he said getting his strength back.
“Sorry, I was confused with your name,” Major Maul said slowly, “Go get in line like every one else!” he said raising his voice. “I want you to stay at your position for twenty minutes, then you can relax for a second, then we have work to do for hours and hours,” he finished.
Major Maul went to his desk that was facing the turds. Anakin was never instructed by him before, but he heard rumors that he was very strict and he usually instructed at the hall for the violent. Anakin observed him while he was writing in his journal, he was a colored person with angry red eyes with his buzz cut hair, and he looked tall, around six feet and four inches.
He suddenly looked up at Anakin and got up. He walked to Anakin and Anakin was face to face with Major Maul, “You plotting on me boy?” Major Maul growled.
“No, sir!” Anakin quickly answered.
“Let me see your ticket!” Anakin got the ticket out of his pocket and handed it to Major Maul, “Hmmm, we do have a troub- Shut up! And keep your heads straight!” He yelled at the turds, “Lets see, oh yeah, you were brought here because he called a guard’s crouch sweaty and tempted him to scratch it, you make me sick turd and it will be long till you will be called a J-E-D-I if you can spell which none of you do probably because there are no schools on this damn galaxy! You here me?” Major Maul said to everyone. He gave the ticket back to Anakin, “Turd! Let me see your ticket!” He said to the person on his left. He looked at the reason of why he was here, “Ah, what a classic, drawing a bra and feminine undies with whip cream on your master while he was sleeping, your master didn’t find out till he noticed many Jedi looking at him. You disgust me turd! Give me 25 push ups!” The student got down on his hands and started doing push ups while Major Maul put his foot on his back and counted.

Back to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was in the Jedi library to look upon the name Jason Hoth, It was the name found on DNA test in the lab on the slime. Obi-Wan was trying to find personal records on Jason and found out he was human, then the computer he sat at was searching the whereabouts of him, “It takes so long to find a person in the galaxy, and there are 160 trillion of them on a thousand different planets,” Obi-Wan sighed at the computer saying, “searching…” It was blinking off and on.
A few minutes later, the screen turned into a bio for Jason, it read as seen in the following.

Bio for Jason Hoth,

Home world: Baroonda IV
Height: 5’ 11”
Age: 27
Weight: 175 lbs
Occupation: chemists

“Well, duh. He laid acid all over in Coruscant!” Obi-Wan read on.

Bio for his location, or where he lives,

Jason Hoth lives in the northwestern hemisphere with his pet mynok. Enter your data pad into memory slot…
Obi-Wan took his data pad for the coordinates, and he put it into the slot and pressed enter.
There is an error in transferring, take out data pad and clean out any contaminates and then try again…
Obi-Wan was too anxious, so he just banged the computer.
Transferring files and coordinates now… Loading…
“Yes!” He cheered, “I got you now, I got you now!” The other Jedi looked at him like he was crazy or something. Obi-Wan suddenly stopped when he looked around. He then acted casual. He was going to leave for Baroonda IV first thing tomorrow morning.
Loading complete. Press any key to exit.
Obi-Wan quickly got out the data pad from the slot and raced to the Jedi Barracks. It was getting late anyways.

At Anakin’s school they were still doing hard work and at this moment Major Maul was giving his work hard speech, “To be a Jedi, you must be strong. To be a Jedi, you must be serious and wise. To be a Jedi, you must be respectful to the Jedi council and your master especially.” He then stared at everyone in the room, “Now, since it’s,” he looked at his wall cat clock behind his desk, “ 11:25, you guys must be pooped from all of this work. Well tomorrow, the real work begins at 6:00 a.m.”
Then a student at Anakin’s left five persons down, “Sir!” The whole class looked at him like he was crazy.
“What is it?” He replied angrily.
“Sir, we didn’t have dinner,” he said quietly.
“Shut up twit, or there wont be a breakfast,” he said loudly. “Good night or bad night whatever you have, just go to sleep. You’ll be needing it,” he smiled.
Anakin and all his other classmates went into their beds. To Anakin’s relief, his bed was clean, but didn’t smell too good. In the dark distance he heard a voice of disgust on his right, “My bed has a big blood stain right in the middle!”
There was another complaint on Anakin’s right again but a different person, “Some guy peed in my bed and it reeks!”
There was another on Anakin’s left, “There is a body part in my bed, and I’m not sure to find out what it is right now!”
And another voice on Anakin’s left, “There is mold in my mattress!”
“Shut up!” Anakin yelled. He wanted to go to sleep.
“Geese, what’s his problem?” The guy said with mold in his mattress. Everyone went to sleep a few minutes later.
The next morning, Major Maul got up fifteen minutes before six o’clock. He shaved and washed up and then he went to the bunk area where the students were sleeping. Anakin felt a disturbance in the force in his sleep. Major Maul was the disturbance. Major Maul got into position where he could be heard most, “RISE AND SHINE, TURDS!”
The wakeup call had a very big effect. One student was so startled that he fell off his bunk and hit the hard cold floor face down. That had to hurt. Two other students hopped up and activated their light sabers, those two where ready for anything. Major Maul smiled at this. Anakin felt a jolt in his bunk. The person below him hit his head hard on the supporting bars, and so did other people. It was a chain reaction of chaos in the room. One student exploded with anger, “Sir, why did you wake us up like that?”
“I was testing your reaction to my alarm,” Major Maul said calmly.
“I sensed you coming into the room, sir,” Anakin said.
“Yes, and I observed that you were the only one that got up easily and calmly,” Major Maul said, “Now all of you get out of bed. Hey turd,” he called out to Anakin, who was climbing down on the ladder, “How did you sense me? And what is your medi-clorian level?”
“I sensed you because your force level is high right now, and my medi-clorian level is unknown,” Anakin said. He started to see that other classmates were staring at him.
“What do you mean, unknown?” Major Maul asked.
“It is above 20,000,” Anakin said slowly, “The council is unsure what my exact level is right now,” every student was staring at him with their mouths wide open. Even Major Maul’s.
“That is inhuman,” Major Maul said slowly, “The medi-clorian level for Master Yoda is much lower, and no Jedi has a level higher than 20,000!” Major Maul was stiff in the neck.
“I know, I know. My master says am the chosen one or something,” said Anakin. He saw that Major Maul took a step back. “What?”
“Nothing! Just giving all of you turds some room!” Major Maul snapped. “Now hurry up and get dressed. We are going to do some sparring before breakfast.”
Ten minutes later, everyone was ready and went to the sparring room where Major Maul was waiting, “Wow; you guys are slower than molasses in an igloo!” He said loudly, “We will be sparring in this black room till eight o’clock in the morning and then you will go have the sweet time with your taste buds,” he looked around, “Only if you please me with your fighting style. Before we go in this room, don’t think of defeating your sparring partner, if you do, you might kill your partner if he misses a block or a dodging move. Lets enter,” Major Maul then opened a slightly big brown door where it said sparring room.
The room was big with a black padded floor and ceiling. It had solid steel walls that had scorch marks and cuts into it from other sparring students before. “Now you may choose your sparring partners. Skywalker, you will be my partner since you have a medi-clorian gift,” Major Maul said quickly.
“Okay,” said Anakin not very sure it was the right answer.
Every student has chosen their partner and chose a space for sparring in the room. Anakin and Major Maul took a space near the door.
They took their battle stances and so did other students, “On three you may start to fight, but first all of you must be slow then fast in steps. Okay? On three 1-2-3.”
The room suddenly activated with the sound of energy blades whirring around, but Major Maul and Anakin took out their light sabers dramatically. Major Maul’s saber was exotic in a way; his saber was a saber chuck. The main saber handle was connected on the bottom with a chain. On the other side there was a knob handle where his hand was and then he activated his saber chuck. It was red. He started to do moves with his saber chuck, over his shoulder, behind his back, over his other shoulder, between and around his legs, lasso over his head, continuously going around his body while going down, and then finished with the chuck tucked under his armpit. Major Maul then smiled, “Impressed?”
Anakin looked at him dumbstruck. Major Maul then smirked, “Lets go!”
Anakin then activated his saber, as you know it is blue. Anakin then grinned, “Yeah, lets go!”
Major Maul then charged to Anakin with his saber swinging at his side fast. Anakin dodged a swing at his head; there was no time to counter the attack since it was immediately followed with a swing at his legs. Anakin jumped to avoid the deadly blow and then returned with two quick attacks vertically and Major Maul, with ease, blocked them. Major Maul started to swing his chuck wildly with both hands holding the end knob. He then heaved a swing to Anakin’s left side shoulder, and Anakin barely blocked it. Anakin tried to return his attack but a repeated swing on his left forced him to block instead. Major Maul repeated the same attack five or six times. He then twirled with one hand on the saber handle and one hand on the knob to Anakin’s right side of his waist strongly and Anakin, with trouble, blocked it with his saber facing down. Major Maul kept his saber in contact with Anakin’s with applying more pressure.
“Fight it!” Major Maul yelled. Anakin was trying as hard as he can to repel Major Maul’s lock. He was losing it. Slightly, Anakin was giving in. His muscles ached, and soon turned painful. Sweat was dripping off Anakin’s face; it was making it even harder to concentrate.
Suddenly, his grip gave way on his light saber, and Anakin’s saber soared to the ceiling and went into it like butter. It stayed there for a while and then it deactivated automatically and fell on someone’s head hard, and that person moaned with pain.
Anakin started to lower his head when he saw a big black hand right at his face. He felt a strong force pushing him in the neck, strong enough to make him fall and slide back, hitting the wall firmly. Anakin was half dazed half shocked. His vision was blurry.
When his vision came back, he saw Major Maul holding his saber like a spear. Anakin saw Major Maul throw his saber at him! His eyes widened with fear. It was heading straight toward him, but Major Maul gave a flick of his wrist and his saber slightly went up.
Bam! The saber chuck sliced into the wall a few millimeters above his head. It stuck into the wall for a few seconds and then deactivated hitting Anakin on the head and then fell to the floor. It then floated in mid-air then sped away to Major Maul’s raised right hand. He then stowed it away in his belt.
He glared at Anakin, “I saw fear in your eyes Skywalker,” Major Maul said softly. Anakin noticed that every student in the room was starring at him. “Your mind is polluted with it,” he said strongly, “You could’ve won the saber lock if you summoned the force to help you. I was using bare muscle, no force was helping me there.”
“I forgot,” Anakin said quietly.
“You forgot! Mister I-have-a-high-medi-clorian-count-man-that-is-over-20,000.” Major Maul said loudly, “Well you did alright for a padawan your age, I mean you’re the only one that lasted that long against me,” Major Maul said in an apologetic voice.
Anakin looked at him with shock, “I didn’t mean I killed them! They just were too weak and the backed down,” Major Maul said quickly. He then lended a hand to Anakin to help him off the floor, “Why don’t you go and clean up and then go to the cafeteria for breakfast,” Anakin nodded in thanks. “Wait a second,” said Major Maul quickly, “Does anyone have Skywalker’s light saber?” he yelled into the crowd of students.
“I have it sir,” a thirteen-year-old padawan came out of the crowd rubbing his head with his right hand. He was short with blonde hair and blue eyes with oversized robes on; he was also lightly freckled in the face and arms. “Here it is,” holding it out with his left hand. Major Maul eyed him in a freaky way and then swiped the light saber from the boy’s hand. Then the boy retreated quickly into the crowd.
Major Maul forced the light saber into Anakin’s hands. He then took off to the classroom’s showers.


Chapter 4
Baroonda IV

Obi-Wan got up at seven o’clock quickly. He went to the barrack’s bathroom to change he saw that one Jedi was in there. It was Jedi Butch, a former bully who picked on little padawans in The Jedi Disciplinary School. He especially picked on Obi-Wan in those days.
Obi-Wan walked in slowly to be unnoticed, but it wasn’t necessary since he was in the shower and singing loudly. Obi-Wan walked over to his personal sink. Every Jedi had a sink for themselves. The bathroom was like any kind of store bathroom but with showers and personal sinks. It had regular toilet stalls. Ten in all.
Obi-Wan finally got to his sink, which was far down the hall. He opened the medicine cabinet and took out a razor and shaving cream. He then spread the cream underneath his chin and on his cheeks but not his jaw line.
He grabbed the razor when Jedi Butch came out of the shower stall with a towel wrapped around his bottom half. His chin was pointy and rough with a long nose. He had black hair that naturally sticks up. He was tall and thin, he had bright yellow eyes, and his head was narrow like a tough muscular bachelor. He noticed Obi-Wan at his sink, “Hey, don’t I know you from someplace?”
“No!” Obi-Wan answered quickly.
“Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?” He asked.
“Ah, no. My name is… ah, Jedi…Jedi…Mehoff, Jedi Jack Mehoff,” Obi-Wan said smiling. He was almost done shaving.
“Oh, my name is Bucj-Was, but my friends call me Butch.” Shaking Obi-Wan’s hand.
“What friends?” Obi-Wan murmured.
“What was that?” asked Butch strongly.
“Nothing! Nothing!”
“Hey! Don’t get on my bad side, Jack Mehoff, or…” Butch stopped and started thinking what he said. After a moment he became red in the face. Obi-Wan became nervous at this. Butch’s blush red face turned into an angry dark red.
Butch, suddenly without warning, threw a punch at Obi-Wan’s head. With Jedi instincts, Obi-Wan dodged the punch, which hit the tile and shattered it, and Obi-Wan rushed out of the bathroom and ran in to the corridor laughing, Butch pursued him.
Obi-Wan was only 20 feet in front of Butch and he was gaining quickly, Obi-Wan knew he couldn’t do any thing to stop him with out hurting or making him lay on the floor, minus important limbs. Obi-Wan started to think after sprinting the last 100 yards, Butch was only 10 feet away.
Butch was so close to Obi-Wan he could almost grab him, and then he noticed his own blood was squirting all over the beautiful marble walls, with his small mind he thought where it was coming from, and looked down at his right hand.
Obi-Wan heard a yell behind him; he looked around and saw blood coming out of Butches right hand. He saw Butch clasp it and roll up the top part of his body in pain, but still running. Obi-wan slowed down and let Butch pass him without being seen, and finally stopped and looked humorously at Butch running blindly and Obi-Wan laughed hysterically. He turned around and went to the Jedi Star Ship landing pad.
When he finally got there, he looked for Delores, the space ship mechanic. He was not a Jedi, but when any Jedi came in to get a ship for a mission, he was always on the top of things and friendly. Obi-Wan looked into his office and there he was playing darts. His office was messy with papers and receipts of ordered parts. It smelled like grease and it looked like the wood was falling apart, like most regular mechanic office.
“Hi, Delores,” Obi-Wan said. Obi-Wan scared Delores, and he threw a dart way to the right, hitting a picture, and breaking the glass of the frame. That picture was his wife and the dart hit her right in the forehead. “Sorry,” Obi-Wan said quickly.
“It’s… It’s all right, Obi-Wan,” He said calmly. Delores was slightly overweight man. He was wearing dark blue pants spotted with grease, and a plain white shirt also spotted with grease. He had a sort dirty beard, and had brown hair that was oily and messy and slightly bald in the middle front. His head was slightly sunburned, and his are brown. He is average in height. “Ah, so what do you need?” Delores asked casually.
“I need my Star Fighter for a mission,” said Obi-Wan formally.
“Oh, yeah, sure. What ever you want Obi-Wan. But it is not ready yet,” Delores frowned.
“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked.
“I am in stalling a new R4 with upgraded navigation system,”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan’s shoulders dropping.
“Yeah, I know. It will just take me a few minutes to install, no biggie.”

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:45 PM
I AM NO ASS HOLE!!!!!

LIKE IT ZBOMBER? hahahahahha!!!!! pez dipeser hahhhaah:) :D :D :D

TiE23
09-13-2002, 08:50 PM
it was 43,000+ characters, I had to trim it down,

obi
09-13-2002, 08:57 PM
Originally posted by Tie 23
HERE IT IS!!!!!!!

STAR WARS
ACID DEATH




If you think anyone here is gonna read ALL of that, you need help. ;)

PhantomHelix
09-13-2002, 09:32 PM
please send it to mhl827@optonline.net. im not givin my usual one b/c if it gets out, somebody's bout to get HURT! lol send it please!

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 10:07 PM
Originally posted by obi-wan13



If you think anyone here is gonna read ALL of that, you need help. ;)

well people kept telling him to post. heh, Bnatha Chips. By the way, its spelt crotch. :)

TiE23
09-13-2002, 10:07 PM
Originally posted by obi-wan13



If you think anyone here is gonna read ALL of that, you need help. ;)

SHADDUP!:rolleyes:

TiE23
09-13-2002, 10:08 PM
u like it?:D

ZBomber
09-13-2002, 10:12 PM
Hey, want me to put this on my website for downloading?

Jedi Spy
09-13-2002, 10:55 PM
Why dont u just pm him ur emails if u want it? and zbomber dont put it as a download i would prefer if u could put it in html for us to look at :)

TiE23
09-14-2002, 09:31 AM
hhmmmmm:confused::cool: :)

Camus
09-14-2002, 10:03 AM
Thats only 10 pages??? lol thank god I never posted my story in the threads... its to long... lol ask anyone thats read it... Like Yom... Hes a big fan of my writings... :D

Kstar__2
09-14-2002, 10:35 AM
Originally posted by Camus
Thats only 10 pages??? lol thank god I never posted my story in the threads... its to long... lol ask anyone thats read it... Like Yom... Hes a big fan of my writings... :D

what kind of writings do you make than?:rolleyes:

Camus
09-14-2002, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by kstar__2
what kind of writings do you make than?:rolleyes:



Its on my webpage... lol Its a midevil like story... lol :S it totals in on 29 pages when you inclued my unfinished chapter 3...

PhantomHelix
09-16-2002, 03:09 PM
hey, zbomber, since you have it, do you think u can send it to me?