View Full Version : more newton laws

Al-back from the BigWhoop
09-17-2002, 03:35 PM
Law of documented relativity:
SP - nothing is as easy as it seems nor as hard as says the manual.

Law of administration of time:
SP - everything takes more time than the time one has.

Law of demand and accessibility:
SP - the easiest way of finding something is to look for something else.

Law of telephones:
P1 - when some1 calls and u have a paper, u dont have a pen. If u have the pen, than u wont find any paper. If u have both, no1 will call.
P2 - wrong numbers are never busy.
P3 - every body immerse into a bathtub makes the phone ring.

Law of gravity:
SP - if u r able to keep your head while every1 around u are losing theirs, u probably dont understand the gravity of the situation.

Law of experience:
SP - the only ones that know how deep the well is are the ones who already fell into it.

Law of expertness:
SP - experts are the ones who know more and more about lesser and lesser.

Law of modern science:
P1 - if it moves it is biology
P2 - if it stinks it is chemistry
P3 - if doesnt work it is fisics
P4 - if no1 understands it, it is mathematics
P5 - if it doenst make sence, it is grammar

Law of free fall:
P1 - the probability of the side of the bread with butter to fall face down is proportional to the value of the carpet.
P2 - cats fall on their foots.
P3 - its worthless to tie the bread with butter in the cat and drop the cat, cause the cat is gonna fall on its foots and run away with your bread.

Law of traffic jam:
P1 - the lane you are not in is the one that goes faster.
P2 - if u go to the faster lane, this one will slow down and the one u were before will start going faster.

Law of tests and classes:
P1 - if u wish to join a class that has "n" places, u will most certainly b the person "n + 1" to try to join.
P2 - around 60%-80% of the test will be based on the only day u were absent and/or the only book you didnt read.
P3- almost every teacher pressumes their students have nothing else to do but study their subject.

Law of long posts:
SP - 75% most ppl usually stop reading long posts around this line. 60% of them will skip to the last law, 38% will skip to the next post, 2% will either close the window or skip to the last post.

Law of estivatives:
SP - 86% of the estimatives are completely absurd or made-up.

Law of mesurement:
P1 - if it is written single size, its because it doenst fit any1
P2 - the coolest shirt/pants/shoes are available in all sizes but the one that fits u.

Law of attraction of particules:
SP - every flying particule will eventually hit an open eye.

Law of life:
P1 - everything interesting in life is iligal, immoral, or will make u fat.
P2 - a healthy person is a person who wasnt examined well enough.

09-17-2002, 03:42 PM
I have 5 words to sum that up:
Not funny and badly spelt.

Al-back from the BigWhoop
09-17-2002, 04:45 PM
i have one word for your comment:
shut up


k, just "shut" than


or maybe just "up"


nah, i think "shut" is better


yeah, i ll stick with "shut"

09-17-2002, 04:56 PM
Well excuse me, Mr Perfect, but I really didn't find that at all funny. I'm sorry that I don't share your sense of humour or spelling (or lack thereof), I guess I'm just not elite enough to join your little gang that consist of...er...you. Oh, I'm sorry, I mean you, your royal highness, King Al.

09-17-2002, 04:57 PM
I don't want to read that useless junk! (Sorry Al)

Al-back from the BigWhoop
09-17-2002, 05:13 PM
first of all, samnmax, dont u have your own opinion? i mean, i wouldnt find offensive if u said it was junk AFTER reading it

feral, i posted this cause i finded it funny. if u ddnt like it, too bad, u dont get to laugh. judging by your comment, i would say u:
1) hate me for no reason
2) had a really bad day
after reading your comment i decided to take it in a friendly way. u have to agree that i could have as rude as u by saying "shut the fuÁk up" or "wtf is wrong with u? if u hate me just ignore me" or even "if u dont know how to b polite, just keep quiet". instead i joked, but it seems to me u r too blinded with anger to realise taht.
at first i though option 1 was true, but i couldnt understand y u called me "mister perfect", and i took the time to think wot u meant by my "lil gang" and "king Al", but i ddnt get any of that (i know u were being sarcastic, i just ddnt understand y), so i think i ll go for option 2 - at least i hope option 2 is true.

btw- sorry if english is not my native language, if u want i will pm u showing all my sorrow and ask u for forgiveness

come to think of it, i think option 1 is true. u bothered me cause i doblepost sometimes (back when that was possible, a lot of ppl did that by accident), than u started another threat for me to get banned cause i ressurected old topics, then u started bothering me because of my sig, and then u started annoying me cause i abreviate will into ll, you into u, why into y, etc. cause u though, pardon me, U KNEW abbreviations were childish.
if u hate me so much, y dd u even click on this topic? y dd u take the time to post a reply? sorry if im being rude, but this is starting to piss me off!!

09-18-2002, 08:30 AM
Ok, Mr. Interplanetary Traveller! Where are you headed and what are your headings? ;P

09-18-2002, 08:35 AM
if it makes any difference, i found the pen paper and telephone one quite funny, and some of the others were funny also, but i have a slightly deformed sense of humour so i wouldn't take anything i say seriously.

09-18-2002, 09:58 AM
I actually found it all kinda funny.
Just because everything is true. :p

09-19-2002, 09:53 AM
Al, I think you got the title of this topic wrong. These are all Murphy's law-like laws.

But I still think it's funny, we have a book with all those things here. I found one really funny and true. I translated it into latin (cause the best sayings are in latin), and drove my latin teacher mad with it:

Qui possunt, faciunt. Qui non possunt, docent.

Freely translated: Those who can do it, do it. Those who can't do it, teach it :D

09-19-2002, 11:00 AM
You do Latin? Who speaks Latin nowadays? Or is Holland a Catholic country?

09-19-2002, 12:38 PM
Non Timtis Messor

even if you can work it out, it's a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

09-20-2002, 02:22 AM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
You do Latin? Who speaks Latin nowadays? Or is Holland a Catholic country?

Ummm...I don't SPEAK latin, I'm only able to read and translate it, for the simple reason I chose the subject 5 years ago. Just something you get when you go the gymnasium...I also had Greek, but I dropped that...To be honest, the only reason I'm still doing latin, is because it looks good on your graduation-thing (it gets more value if it says you finished latin). I'm not catholic (hell no), I don't want to be a docter or anything.

09-20-2002, 05:47 PM
I actually thought this was good...and funny

09-20-2002, 06:34 PM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
You do Latin? Who speaks Latin nowadays? Or is Holland a Catholic country?



09-21-2002, 04:18 AM
ihay amhay ostlay :confused:

09-22-2002, 02:24 PM
ussupway attynay. iay ancay eakspay igpay atinay ootay!

and no one translated non timtis messor

09-22-2002, 02:31 PM
Originally posted by Al-back from the BigWhoop
first of all, samnmax, dont u have your own opinion? i mean, i wouldnt find offensive if u said it was junk AFTER reading it

Your right, I've been rude. Please go on.

09-22-2002, 02:37 PM
And I don't want to make a big deal out of this but I did say I was sorry.