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Darth Eggplant
10-06-2002, 02:05 AM
1st Degree

A married couple was asleep
when the telephone rang
at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde),
picked up the telephone,
listened a moment, and said,
"How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband said,
"Who was that?" The wife said,
"I don't know;
some woman wanting to know
'if the coast is clear."


2nd Degree

Two blondes
are walking down the street.
One notices a compact
on the sidewalk
and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it,
looks in the mirror,
and says,
"Hmm, this person looks familiar."
She hands it to the second blonde.
The second blonde looks
in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"


3rd Degree

A blonde suspects her boyfriend
of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she
opens the door, she finds him
in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse
to take out the gun,
and she puts the gun to her head.
The boyfriend yells,
"No honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies,
"Shut up, you're next!"


4th Degree

A blonde brags about her knowledge
of state capitals. She proudly says,
"Go ahead, ask me,
I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies,
"Oh that's easy the W."


5th Degree

What did the blonde ask her doctor
when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"


6th Degree

A blonde had just totaled her car
in a horrific accident.
Miraculously,she managed to pry
herself from the wreckage
without a scratch.
"Wow!" the trooper gasped.
"Your car looks like an accordion
that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine"
the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world
did this happen?" the officer asked
as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer,
it was the strangest thing!"
the blonde began.
"I was driving along this road
when from out of nowhere this tree
popped up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right,
and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left
and there was another tree!
I swerved to the right
and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left
and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am,"
the officer said, cutting her off
as he looked inside the car,
"There isn't a tree
on this road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener
swinging back and forth."


7th Degree

Returning home from work,
a blonde was astonished
to see that she had been robbed.
She telephoned the police at once
and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast
the call on the channels,
and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby
was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached
the house with his dog,
the blonde sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find
all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help,
and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Tall Guy
10-08-2002, 03:47 AM
heh :D