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DiRtY $oUtH™
10-22-2002, 07:17 PM
Ok...so what do you like about a girl? Dont' hold anything back, cuz I know some of you out there love those big asses, etc...

Tyrion
10-22-2002, 07:19 PM
Originally posted by Darth Yoda85
Ok...what so you like about a girl? Dont' hold anything back, cuz I know some of you out there love those big asses, etc...

Personality, a little meaty enough so that I know that when I hug her she wont snap and break(that's what reb said about it :D).

Taos
10-22-2002, 07:20 PM
I have a feeling this won't last long............:(

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-22-2002, 07:22 PM
Originally posted by Leemu Taos:
I have a feeling this won't last long............:(


What makes you say that?

gorganfloss
10-22-2002, 07:24 PM
Originally posted by Darth Yoda85



What makes you say that?

hmmmmmmmmm...:rolleyes:

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-22-2002, 07:35 PM
awwwwww.....come on ppl.....just answer. It can't hurt

Ratmjedi
10-22-2002, 07:40 PM
I think it will last. As long as someone says stuff in a respectable way its all good. There has to be someone in here that is a butt guy and likes girls butts. There are girls that are like this. So I think it is personally fine as long as we do it in a nice and respectable way. I am a eye person myself. I think it can just tell you about how a person is like just by looking at their eye's. It can tell you whether they are happy or sad, or whether they are snobby or nice. I also am a butt guy too! :D
:lsduel: :duel:

gorganfloss
10-22-2002, 07:42 PM
Im not at liberty to say what I normally would say, because ForceElf would make fun of me in school.hehe

Taos
10-22-2002, 07:44 PM
That's the key RATM!!! I just don't know if everyone around here can do that though on a thread that reminds one of a Motley Crue song!

Ratmjedi
10-22-2002, 07:52 PM
Well then lets try to keep this thread clean guys cause I think this is a really good thread and I would hate to see this thread closed because of some smart a$$ post. I also think leXX and all the other girls here can post here and tell us what they like in a guy even if they are married or single. Just so that we don't sound sexist. ;)
:lsduel: :duel:

C'jais
10-22-2002, 07:53 PM
Eyes, butts, hips....

S'ALL GOOD!!!! :thumbsup:

Reb Starblazer
10-22-2002, 08:29 PM
Well, as Tyrion said earlier, I'm not really into that whole "blow away in the wind skinny as a supermodel" thing, but I'm not into those incredibly obese people either(not that there's anything wrong with that, fat people need lovin' too;)). I'd take an average girl who's fun to be around, over a "hot" girl that's a coldhearted B***h anyday.

As for physical attraction, I think a girl's face "does it" for me, more than anything else really. Sure the rest of the body does as well, but you can stare at your girlfriend's face for hours, and she won't mind at all:D In fact, they tend to enjoy you looking at their eyes, instead of sizing up one of their other body parts. I'm also a big eye fan too:D

Now physical attraction may be the match, but personality is what keeps the fire going. I would never, ever be able to be with a girl who cannot make me laugh. Also, they need to be someone that I can have an actual conversation with as opposed to "Yea, like, I totally know what you're talking about...". Girls like that are the ones I can't stand. The preps can have em for all I care:p

Most importantly, a girl has to like me for who I am, and accept it, just as I accept them. I would never force a girl to change for me, so I don't think that I should have to change for them right? If a girl likes me because of who she thinks I am, or who she wants me to be, then it's not really me she likes, now is it.

Ratmjedi
10-22-2002, 08:42 PM
Amen brother.
I think that is the way it should be.
Snobby girls are just dumb and a waste of your time.
:lsduel: :duel:

Skuttle24
10-22-2002, 09:05 PM
Most important thing is whether or not u can put it up with her.

If she's a total jerk, all the looks in the world are not gonna make it any more fun of a relationship. And it definetly won't feel good when she drops u like a bad habit in 2 seconds like she's almost guranteed to do.

Therefore, firstly, i prefer girls that i can get along with foremost.

Looks are just a side benifit :D
mmmmmm...butts

Sedriss316
10-22-2002, 10:06 PM
Type of girl I like is the one that just plainly stares at you, with all her attention. Not a word has to be said. The gentle look on her face is presence enough that she is someone special. Things that stand out for me are the eyes, and mouth. So much body language can be seen from just the face. Body doesnt matter as much. Really thin girls dont attract me a whole lot. I like girls with a figure, I dont want to see their bones. Chest and butt arent important but they have small play. Ill admit im a cuddler. Nothing beats just holding the girl you care about in your arms, reasurring her you are there for her. And nothing though beats the warm gentle touch of a girl. Seriously, just the stare into her eyes, and you will know what i mean.:guard:

ForceElf
10-22-2002, 10:21 PM
Originally posted by gorganfloss
Im not at liberty to say what I normally would say, because ForceElf would make fun of me in school.hehe

I would not because you have not done anything like that to me (that I know of ;) )

For me personalty(Spelling?) is more imoportant than looks but you need physical aswell as mental/emontional attraction.

gorganfloss
10-22-2002, 10:31 PM
Originally posted by Reb Starblazer
Well, as Tyrion said earlier, I'm not really into that whole "blow away in the wind skinny as a supermodel" thing, but I'm not into those incredibly obese people either(not that there's anything wrong with that, fat people need lovin' too;)). I'd take an average girl who's fun to be around, over a "hot" girl that's a coldhearted B***h anyday.

As for physical attraction, I think a girl's face "does it" for me, more than anything else really. Sure the rest of the body does as well, but you can stare at your girlfriend's face for hours, and she won't mind at all:D In fact, they tend to enjoy you looking at their eyes, instead of sizing up one of their other body parts. I'm also a big eye fan too:D

Now physical attraction may be the match, but personality is what keeps the fire going. I would never, ever be able to be with a girl who cannot make me laugh. Also, they need to be someone that I can have an actual conversation with as opposed to "Yea, like, I totally know what you're talking about...". Girls like that are the ones I can't stand. The preps can have em for all I care:p

Most importantly, a girl has to like me for who I am, and accept it, just as I accept them. I would never force a girl to change for me, so I don't think that I should have to change for them right? If a girl likes me because of who she thinks I am, or who she wants me to be, then it's not really me she likes, now is it.

What he said.

Dath Maximus
10-23-2002, 12:27 AM
For some reason i feel i should only answer after a mod, or female has posted.

Besides im a gentleman.

XERXES
10-23-2002, 12:56 AM
what i like best? hmmmmmmm........

sometimes its the smallest things they do that make the biggest difference, they might not even notice...

small kisses on the lips are nice too...

ShockV1.89
10-23-2002, 12:59 AM
Well, so far this thread seems pretty clean. Nothin vulgar yet.

I'd say I like a girls eyes the most. Thats actually how I met my girlfriend. Went to high school with her, we didnt like each other. She wore glasses, coudlnt really see her eyes. Anyway, we were goin back and forth on the bus. I said something about her being ugly (freshamn crap) and she just turned her head, took her glasses off, did that little hair shake they do, and stared me in the eye. My words just kinda blubbered in my mouth. Went uphill from there. :D

XERXES
10-23-2002, 01:01 AM
word shock...the best thing is when you have one of those moments...maybe between a kiss, or when you run out of things to say, or you see something that is significant to the both of you...and you turn and just look in eachothers eyes...

gorganfloss
10-23-2002, 01:04 AM
...and then she farts.

The Truthful Liar
10-23-2002, 01:06 AM
:rolleyes:

ShockV1.89
10-23-2002, 01:07 AM
Well, that sorta happened with a differnt girl at a club once. She seemed all cool at first, and when we stepped off the dance floor for a drink, she let out this huge belch louder than what I can (i'm a big guy). Yeah, I found someone else to dance with...

ET Warrior
10-23-2002, 01:09 AM
I like everything about girls.....except when they get all mean and backstabbing to their friends....i hate that...but i like the way they talk, and look.........*sighs dreamily* ;)

Rogue Nine
10-23-2002, 01:42 AM
*waves little mod flag*

I want a girl who's intelligent, someone I can actually converse with, someone who accepts me for who I am, faults and all, someone who will be there through the good times and the bad, someone who will comfort me, hold me close; basically, someone who loves me. And tells me so.

Physically, someone not too tall, not too short. Someone with blondish brown hair, green-grey eyes, a full, beautiful smile, a body with a bit o' meat on it, but still sexy as all hell.

Oh to have that girl.....wait...I do. :)

Jedi_Monk
10-23-2002, 02:18 AM
Appearance-wise, I'm a sucker for girls with red hair; doesn't matter if it's real or dyed, I just love nice, rich red hair. I prefer pretty girls to drop-dead-sexay girls. Nice body, but not necessarily 36, 24, 36.

Personality-wise... I'd want a girl who's a Catholic Democrat, like me, because those're the two things that are really important in my life, and I couldn't stand being with a girl long if she wasn't with me on certain issues. I had a great relationship with a girl that lasted two years, and the whole thing really fell apart because as I was becoming more and more of an activist, she reverted more and more into dispising all things political. I want someone who's sympathetic, and who won't hold grudges for arguments (I love to argue, in case you couldn't tell). Someone who's not real materialistic; someone who's not, strictly speaking, a product of the MTV society. Someone who's sweet and coy.

Specific enough for ya? ;)

http://members.aol.com/dannilalfletch/Jedi_Monk.jpg

Ratmjedi
10-23-2002, 02:42 AM
Well since Jedi_Monk got a little more deeper I guess I will to.
Well Laura is a red head and she is Catholic while I am a Christian. I know that we will have a few argument's because of this but I know me and her can get past that diffrence.
She also thinks she is Republican because her parent's are but she doesen't like them and we all know that when this happens they are completly opposite of what there parent's are but she isn't sure. I am Democrat and proud of it. Kill that damn Elephant. :D lol

We are very alike and I know that she is my dream girl. 3heart

We support each other alot and are always there for each other no matter what. It feels good to do that and to also have it done in return.
:duel: :lsduel:

thehomicidalegg
10-23-2002, 07:01 AM
i prefer girls with a mind as well as a body. i'd prefer an intelligent girl with ok looks than a drop dead gorgeous girl with no brains at all (ok, maybe for a 1 night stand or sumfin:D :p).

STTCT
10-23-2002, 07:05 AM
Well to be honest I like a girl with..........errrm wait....I am a girl, I have a boyfriend and a baby on the way! This is a gender biased thread! J.k.

and whats up with the big asses comment? What about the women with small asses??

:eek:

Kstar__2
10-23-2002, 07:11 AM
:( al i want is a nice girl i can talk with that likes me, but do i get that? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO:( :cry6:

Reb Starblazer
10-23-2002, 07:41 AM
Er, RatmJedi , isn't Catholicism part of Christianity, they're kinda one and the same in a way:D

And STTCT, don't mind the big asses comment, he was just saying that some guys like big asses, some guys like small ones, etc. He's just asking what our "fetishes" are, for lack of a better word. Also, as RATMJedi pointed out earlier that you girls can also post what you find attractive in a man, so this thread won't be biased. Yes, I know you were only kidding when you said that:D Maybe it'll give some members of the male persuasion more insight into their female counterparts as well. Can't hurt, can it?:D Your avatar happens to scare the bejesus outta me too...:p

I noticed Jedi monk mentioned red hair. That seems to be something quite common actually, guys having something with red hair. Never quite understood it myself, but I feel the same way. Most beautiful girl I have ever seen, had shoulder length, curly, red hair, with emerald green eyes:bored:

STTCT
10-23-2002, 07:50 AM
i am just bored and was teasing you guys....

sorry my avatar scares people... just in a silly mood


As for what I look for in a guy (guess I will describe my bf future husband)

A kind man, with a good head on his shoulders. One who sets goals and has direction. A man with a good heart. Sensitive but not overly sensitive. One who is strong and I can lean on for support whenever I feel the need. A man who takes good care of his family. A man who is not afraid to kid around and joke. As for features. I have always liked Blue eyes. Hope that helps. I fell for my boyfriend because he was a guy like none other. 20 years old, was going to college, had a cool mustang (teehee), a steady job and he was really serious when I met him. He didn't know what to do with me cuz I am sooo crazy sometimes - I think I lightened him up. For all the 3 years we've been together I think the thing I love most about him is how much he is there for me and others. I can talk to him about anything - even if he teases me etc.

Hope that provides some insite as to what a woman wants.

But when I was 16 - all I cared about was a fine guy with a cool car. So...I dunno. Tastes change as the years go by...the important stuff tends to out wiegh the trival.

The Truthful Liar
10-23-2002, 07:54 AM
One who can cook is an important factor, for man or woman. ;)

STTCT
10-23-2002, 07:57 AM
my bf and I can't really cook and we just moved in together....we are learning slowly - usually together and from eachothers mistakes ;) I don't think its an important factor...but it does help a lot!

Luc Solar
10-23-2002, 08:26 AM
Knowing how to cook is one thing, but if you find a woman/man who enjoys doing it... :)

What I like about women: the way they're able to transform a House into a Home.

Darklighter
10-23-2002, 10:13 AM
I am just starting to learn what a dangerous business girls are lol...

My ex wants to get back together with me, but I have already found someone else. It really sux right now, cos I'm not sure what to do, nothing is official.

Well, in a girl, I really look for someone I can talk to about personal stuff. Someone who can be my best friend, and at the same time my g/f. I'm not saying looks aren't important, cos they are in certain cases: if you are not attracted to them you won't get anywhere. Well that's my opinion anyways:)lol

Hekx
10-23-2002, 10:30 AM
Best.Thread.Ever.

(Yes, yet another pointless post by me.)

I won't contribute to this discussion. :p

ShockV1.89
10-23-2002, 11:04 AM
What I like about women: the way they're able to transform a House into a Home.

Bleh. Dont need a woman for that. Home is where the dog is. That is all. ;) ;)

XERXES
10-23-2002, 08:29 PM
Originally posted by STTCT

and whats up with the big asses comment? What about the women with small asses??

:eek: my gf doesnt have a ghetto ass, i like it. :)

ET Warrior
10-23-2002, 08:51 PM
I like a light brownish blonde hair....or light brunettes...but the thing that gets me the most with girls is their smiles. Some girls just have smiles that leave me breathless.

Chewbacco
10-24-2002, 12:56 AM
There are three things to have to get a girl you like,

1: You need to be tall, for that, the girls will start to get around you. Also when you are tall, you look strong.

2:Athletic ability, get famous when play football and such.

3:Humor, able to laugh at jokes. This also helps with getting friends if you move and you are in a new school (Over doing this could be embarrassing and stupid so be mindful and update you mind to the latest things in the real world)

If you have at least two of the things above, you got it made.
Trust me!

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-24-2002, 10:49 PM
I'm not tall. I'm only 5'8" and girls LOVE me. I am just like that. But I am a one woman man.

Chewbacco
10-25-2002, 01:12 PM
It's okay. A man's average height is 5'8" so you have the height quotient. :thumbsup:

obi
10-25-2002, 01:17 PM
Well, I am not the mountin-man of lust, so I do not like a girl for her.........eh......."parts."


I look for personality.

Darklighter
10-25-2002, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by obi-wan13
Well, I am not the mountin-man of lust, so I do not like a girl for her.........eh......."parts."


I look for personality.

Very much the same here.

And can I ask, if a girl you like is not interested in sports, or physical 'build' for that matter, then would it be necessary to be tall and an athlete? Somehow Chewbacco, I don't wholly agree with you stereo typical views of girls. You are labelling just one type, and that type are the girls that go for looks.

Marth
10-25-2002, 05:38 PM
Girls hmmmm where do i start?

Jed
10-25-2002, 06:17 PM
Girls....

I look for personality, and not supermodel looks. I mean, theres a difference between that and pretty, and I prefer the pretty.

The eyes are also a key feature. They have to have brilliant eyes, like a shiny or bold color.

Unfortunately, I don't get much choice, cuz I'm not exactly what the girls in my high school are looking for. I'm actually quite the um......*whispers* geek.

Pedantic
10-25-2002, 08:07 PM
I like the shortays...no, I mean the really short ones lol. Must have something to do with my height...

Chewbacco
10-26-2002, 02:19 AM
Originally posted by Darklighter


Very much the same here.

And can I ask, if a girl you like is not interested in sports, or physical 'build' for that matter, then would it be necessary to be tall and an athlete? Somehow Chewbacco, I don't wholly agree with you stereo typical views of girls. You are labelling just one type, and that type are the girls that go for looks.

Yes and no.:( 25% of it is for girls 75% is for popularity really.
But girls do go for tallness, thats a fact. They don't really go for it, it just that tallness helps. And social skills or Charisma is a must.:)

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-26-2002, 10:34 AM
Well, heres my ideal girl...which I am currently with :D . She is 5'7" with those sexy honey brown eyes. Shes hispanic with a nice shape. The cutest face I've ever seen. Her personality is the best. She listens, understands, shes sweet, and she likes romantic guys with a little bit of spice. She is also one of those kind who wants to get married after she gets her education...like me. And she does not, under any circumstances, believe in sex before marriage. Which I think is the way it should be. Cuz I'm Catholic.

Marth
10-26-2002, 10:50 AM
that is now just wait till she gets "Better Friends" and starts blowing you off

Taos
10-27-2002, 04:21 AM
Originally posted by HekxNoxu
Best.Thread.Ever.

(Yes, yet another pointless post by me.)

I won't contribute to this discussion. :p



:thumbsup: Thanks for not contributing.....:rolleyes:





What does it for me (like ET W) is a girls smile! I can tell a lot about a girl by their smile (at least I think I can!). My gf just has a beautiful smile and it always makes me happy when she does it! :p

ZePhyR
10-27-2002, 05:05 AM
Looks Wise...
I usually like tall (not too tall) blondes in general. I like eyes and smiles first of all. The face is probably the most important thing. A girl could have a killer body, but if her face isn't attractive, I'm not interested. Chest isn't all that imporant to me really. There should be a little bit there, but if they're way too big, that's gross too. I like long, tan legs. I like how most girls have small soft hands, and cute feet too.

Personality Wise...
They can't be a complete mother of a dog. I dunno why, but I'm naturally attracted to the cute, preppy, *itchy (lack for a better term) girls. I like girls that I can talk to and trust, and girls that trust and like to talk to you as well. They should be kind, caring, outgoing.

Other things...
Should be a Christian girl. That's important to me. Should be conservative. I like girly clothes, but not sleezy clothes.

Theres lots of other things too, but I think this is enough for now anyway.

Luc Solar
10-27-2002, 05:30 AM
No sex before getting married?


Ugh! Can't understand why that old rule is still alive despite the fact that we came up with condoms, pills and such.

Every "rule" has it's point, it's ratio . The "No sex before marriage"-rule has lost it's ratio a loooong time ago.

One has to ask "why?". And don't give me the good old "'cause it's in the Bible"- argument. A rule is a rule no matter who said it and/or where.

I just got back from my honeymoon. "Saving yourself" for marriage is a sweet idea, but.... really, guys...sex is for fun. Sex does not = love...it's merely a way to express feelings/love.

I hate to say this, but: "The First Time" is rarely good. It's usually pretty bad, almost horrible...for the woman at least. I'd save that experience for some other time than your wedding night. I'm not even going to mention all the blood and stuff..

Not having sex before marriage... it's just like saying: I won't eat ice cream untill I turn 50. Boy will it taste great when I finally get to taste it!" Makes no sense to me. :rolleyes:

Why not enjoy yourself? It's fun. And practise makes perfect. But if you'd rather spend your honeymoon figuring 'where the hell to stick this thing', then....more power to you.

The no sex before marriage rule is passé.

Ok, flamers ready: 3.......2.............1...........GO! :D

Darth Dooku
10-27-2002, 08:09 AM
As long as everything is fairly good and they have a good personality, I don't really care!!

Darklighter
10-27-2002, 08:27 AM
Originally posted by Chewbacco

But girls do go for tallness, thats a fact. They don't really go for it, it just that tallness helps. And social skills or Charisma is a must.:)

I agree totally with all of those things...charisma is needed to ask girls out (getting someone else to do it for you is just pathetic lol), and I guess girls like guys taller than them, as someone to protect them.

obi
10-27-2002, 09:04 AM
Well, Luc, I am going to use the old "in the bible" excuse. To me, it's the best excuse to have, if you need an excuse.I am a christian, and I am proud of it. The Bible says to not practice the ways of pagan; Lust, lie, etc.



That's my story, I'm stickin to it.

BTW, Sex has nothing to do with ice-cream. I have no idea why you even had that as an example.


"I won't eat ice cream untill I turn 50. Boy will it taste great when I finally get to taste it!"



You know, sex is not everything. If it is your main goal, to have sex, that is sad. A person may marry another person for love, you know, and not just to have sex with her/him.

Qui-GONE Jinn
10-27-2002, 09:38 AM
Obiwan13...the ways of pagan, lust, lie etc..? Can you tell me that you do not lie sometimes?

The point in your last post is that you strive to be a good person, even though you lie and experience "lust" sometimes, (don't tell me you don't) right? And the bible does give us ideals of how we can be good persons. However, the thing you must take into consideration is, that these texts are 2000 years old, and it's 2000 years old ideals that we read about in them. I think it's in place to use some personal judgement in these cases.
As I see it, you view sex as something pagan, sinful, animal-like and in a way "subhuman", except when we are talking about "married-sex". I cannot agree with this..

You know, sex is not everything. If it is your main goal, to have sex, that is sad. A person may marry another person for love, you know, and not just to have sex with her/him.

What is sex, if not a way to express your love for another person? Of course, it is used in a negative way, as in prostitution etc., but sex is something wonderful to be shared between two people who love each other. Does true loving, loving that legalizes sex, only start when the wedding-sermon is over? I think not. No one marries another person to have sex with her/him, sex is just a beautiful means of expressing your love
for the other.

You know, through the ages sex has been viewed in several different ways. Back in the antique Greek, sex between men was viewed as something "cleaner" and better than sex between a man and a woman, because the female was consider inferior to the man. In the 1700ds, sex between men was punished with death. So you see the views upon sex has changed much, like cultures and social environments change.

obi
10-27-2002, 09:45 AM
You have some good points, Qui.


I never said I viewed sex as subhuman, or even wrong, but lust is. Two things that can ruin the mind, and the way it works, are lust and greed. They corrupt.As for me ever lusting, well, no one is perfect, be we can try to be. And I admit, I have lied in the past, but I try not to. I haven't lied in a very long time(no, no lie there either). The Bible also says that God forgives us for our sins, however, and you can have a clean slate to try over again.

Anyway, everyone has their own views on the matter.

edit- btw, it's nice to see you can actually still have a friendly debate on these forums nowadays. ;)

Luc Solar
10-27-2002, 02:45 PM
Btw - that thing about ice cream..

What I meant was: sex is fun and it doesn't cost a dime. Why not have it? Why wait 50 years to have your first ice cream when you could be enjoying them every day? You'll just miss out on all the yummy ice creams and probably mess up your new shirt on your 50th birthday because you were not used to eating ice cream.
Umm.. I'm sure you know what I mean.. ;)


Hmm, wait: by "sex", do you mean intercourse alone or fooling around in general? I don't see any difference.. I mean, I consider intercourse as one of the non-filthy, not-so-sinful acts...compared to some other stuff that sometimes goes on :naughty:

Did the Bible put a ban on fooling around or just "entering"? Makes no sense to me. The only difference really is that as a result of intercourse, the woman might get pregnant --> But with all the condoms and pills etc. that we have, this point is kinda irrelevant.

Reasons why to have sex:

1) Its fun.
2) You get better at it through practise, which makes it even more fun.
3) It's really, really fun.


The reason, the ratio behind the "thou shalt not have sex until you're married"-rule is pretty clear --> attempt to avoid unwanted pregnancies & 'doing it' before you're old enough to deal with these things.
I do not believe that the reason is "just because I say so".

When rules don't make sense either a) you're too dumb to get it or b) the rule suXXors.

In this case I'd go with B.

BUT: if having sex before marriage would mentally destroy you and everything you believe in...why on earth would you have it? You do exactly what makes you feel good about yourself.

Personally, I think not having sex is a waste and risky.. and possibly results in a lot of complications... But that's just me. To each their own. :)

(by complications I mean f.ex:

* You notice that you love/hate different things.

* You realize that the other can't/won't fulfill your needs.

* the other one is simply too small/big making things non-enjoyable even though you both feel sex is a major part of the relationship and you can't live happily without it.

* your wedding night is a nightmare.

* etc.)

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-27-2002, 09:58 PM
Hey look..we should respect everyones ideas here...i think that following Gods ways is good...but I still have temptations dont get me wrong...I am 17 you know.....sex before marriage is shown as OK in our society...but its really not. Thats what I think. I mean come on...sex is not a sport...it's a sign of unity and love for each other..if you're running around screwing girl after girl...it has no meaning. I'm sorry, I'm no goody good or anything, but when it comes to obeying what God thinks...I try. For us Christians, its not easy defending our values. One reason is that we are taught that abortion and premarital sex is wrong. But then in our society, abortion is legal and sex before marriage is commonplace. So what are we to do about it?

Taos
10-27-2002, 10:20 PM
Who knew that this thread would evolve and start a discussion about sex before marriage and other related topics????? I sure didn't.....I though that it would be locked within minutes. This is surprising.


There has been talk about not enough intellegent discussion around here, but I think this qualifies.



If only ppl don't start flaming each other over their own personal beliefs.......:(

85 is exactly right, it's all about respect.

;)

Pedantic
10-27-2002, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by Luc Solar
* your wedding night is a nightmare.

If two people are really in love and they get married, then the other's sexual "expertise" should not matter.

acdcfanbill
10-27-2002, 11:48 PM
Very true Pedantic, now all of you try to keep it a little more on topic if possible please... :D

ZePhyR
10-28-2002, 02:42 AM
Damn, this thread is cool. I am a Christian, and I like the point that was made about it is hard defending our values in todays society. For example, the new movie Jackass is out, I've read reviews becuz a couple of friends wanted me to go see it with them today, but I didnt go becuz I felt that by going to movie, I'm giving my money to the people that made it, and therefore supporting this nonsense. The popularity of this movie is a sign that the end of the world is coming soon, which is a sad thing. However, being a teenager and a Christian, it is tough not to think about the opposite sex, oh, say every 3 seconds or so. I agree that it is a good thing to save yourself until marriage, but does anybody really do it anymore? I get so much crap from all of my buddies for being 17 years old and a virgin, and so it is almost a burden not to have done it. Man, if a hot girl I liked just came up to me and told me to take her, I'm not so sure I wouldn't be able to resist.

Taos
10-28-2002, 02:58 AM
Hey man, I look back and I wish I would have waited for it to be with someone I thought was special. I, like you, was getting crap from my friends and I just did it with this dumb girl. Anyways, if you don't want to do it.......well, then don't. My advice is save your first experience for someone you care about.....but make sure she feels the same way about you first! ;)

Luc Solar
10-28-2002, 03:56 AM
Let me clarify some of what I said earlier.
IMHO:


* If two people are ready for sex and want to do it, I do not see any reason why not to. The point that the Bible tries to make is not relevant anymore.

(Btw - all you christians [Yes, I'm christian too) : go grab the Old Testament and start reading from the beginning. Skip Deuteronomium because it is boring as hell, but otherwise...read it. I promise you that you will be shocked. Makes you wonder who came up with this whole "kind, loving and forgiving God"-stuff in the first place. The Old Testament God seems pretty vengeful and likes it when people slit the throats of lambs and spill the blood around on nice golden trinkets. My point? --> don't take everything so literally.)

* No-one should ever have sex without wanting it. Friends pressuring you is not the right reason for doing it with some "dumb" girl. This, however is not the issue.

* When I say "go, have sex", I presuppose that all's well. --> If everything else is cool and okay, I think people should have sex, simply because it is fun period

* There is a difference between making a personal decision ("I feel better if I save myself for marriage, I don't want to have sex before that") and trying to bang people who have premarital sex on the head with a bible.

I just got married. ( :) ) Lot's of folks attended the wedding. A lot of old people with different believes. One thought it was discraceful to dance on your wedding day, because the Bible says so. Another thought it was discraful that a bride wears a wedding dress that exposes her shoulders or her back. Half of the people there never ever drink alcohol; it is against their religion. Some people, including the bride and groom felt very strongly about the wedding waltz.. we felt it is a part of a marriage. And personally, I think alcohol is a somewhat significant factor, when considering the party that night. Anyways...(I won't ramble anymore) my point is this: There is no problem as long as people accept that others simply have different views. Everyone makes their own set of rules.

Leemu Taos said it well: My advice is save your first experience for someone you care about.....but make sure she feels the same way about you first!

I do not think, however, that the Bible overrides the feelings of two people.
What the Bible imho says is: be careful, use protection, be sure you're both ready for it.

Two people don't have sex because they're married. They don't stay together because they wear a ring. They won't love each other because they have made the vows. The binding force is not in the priest's "Amen".

In short: It's all in your head. That is what counts, not symbolism.

Redwing
10-28-2002, 06:56 AM
Luc, you're wrong about sex not costing a thing...it carries all kinds of emotions with it. ^_^;

I agree with the no-premarital-sex thingy. ^.^ However I don't mean marriage like the government-sanctioned Ceremony. By "marriage" here I mean a committed relationship. The things that hurt if you break them.

What you said, Luc: Two people don't have sex because they're married. They don't stay together because they wear a ring. They won't love each other because they have made the vows. The binding force is not in the priest's "Amen".

The binding force is what defines marriage...and without that IMHO sex is generally wrong. Meaningless, just another person using another person's body for a fun time, or contract an STD. ^.^;

One thought it was discraceful to dance on your wedding day, because the Bible says so.

mmmm? It does? I don't remember ^.^

I have read the whole Bible, and there was a reason behind everything. Lambs were killed to atone for sins. No longer because Jesus took care of that. Other peoples were killed because if the Israelites hadn't killed them, they would have been exterminated or turned away from God (in God's eyes, the same thing). Sure they horrify us now, but now we have other ways of doing things that back then didn't exist. ^^

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-28-2002, 07:23 AM
i have to say that if people dont have values, they dont have anything to believe in when they need it...then, when you grow up enough to find out that women are making decisions based on what men hold as valuable, all those sex loving premaritals out there will be out of luck..the only women that will have them are the ones taking money. In the end, even though some like Luc may say that the value of sex after marriage is ridiculous and out of style, it still has meaning for some of us.

Luc Solar
10-28-2002, 07:56 AM
Originally posted by Redwing
Luc, you're wrong about sex not costing a thing...it carries all kinds of emotions with it. ^_^;

By "marriage" here I mean a committed relationship. The things that hurt if you break them.

The binding force is what defines marriage...and without that IMHO sex is generally wrong. Meaningless, just another person using another person's body for a fun time, or contract an STD.


Uh...I probably should quote all my previous posts so that I wouldn't have to repeat myself so much ;)

I meant "cost" as in "money". :)

As I said before, when I go :"sex is okay", I presuppose that all's well >> They're both old enough, have feelings for each other etc. etc.

I do not see marriage as the act of commitment. I see it only as a symbol of the commitment you already have made to each other. To me that's really all there is to it considering the relationship inter partes alone (leaving God and blessings etc. out of this for now).

I made my decision about 7 years ago. No priest or marriage or vow can change that in any way. And if "it isn't there", it just isn't..despite of ceremonies and such.

The only thing that might change anything is a child. Marriage alone is nothing but a hinder if things don't work out.

And values...well... I got plenty. But I've chosen my own values. I don't read them from a book.

And the Bible is not one of the easiest books to read. It itself says that people have messed with it (meaning that what it says is not always "gods own words", but lies made up by people.) and it contains lots of factual errors too. The Bible can be interpreted in so many ways that it's not even funny.
I bet you could find a dozen verses there that could be seen as pro-pedophilia arguments, if you just looked hard enough.

even though some like Luc may say that the value of sex after marriage is ridiculous and out of style, it still has meaning for some of us.

Yes. As I said earlier: BUT: if having sex before marriage would mentally destroy you and everything you believe in...why on earth would you have it? You do exactly what makes you feel good about yourself.

No problems arise unless people start banging others on the head with a Bible or refuse to respect other's believes. :)

STTCT
10-28-2002, 08:05 AM
OKAY I'm going to interject here. In hopes that maybe I will give some good advice and do that without getting to personal. Please do not flame me or my values. Remember everybody has their own opinion. But speaking...as a girl...and speaking as someone who isn't married and having a baby. Let me shed some light on this discussion.

I once to believed in saving myself. Then I met Prince Charming and well you know the rest. We have been together for 3 years now and known eachother several months before that. Sex is a desicion that you *both* must decide on. If someone in the relationship wants to wait. You respect that and you wait. If you two decide that isn't what either of you want to do. Then you must act responsibly. Sex is a decision that is going to effect the rest of your entire life. Whether you know it now or not. Sex includes so much responsibilty. As much for the guy as the girl. Even if you *THINK* you are prepared...trust me when the pregnancy test comes out positive...all *preparedness* goes out the window and then the hard decisions are made. Luckily I am in a serious relationship. We have decided to get married, we were giong to anyways. There is a lot of PRESSURE from Parents and family and People who frown upon the fact that we are having a baby out of wedlock. Yes even my boyfriends parents wanted us to give the baby up. Well neither of us two wanted to do that. We love eachother and know that we are the ones for eachother.
BUT ITS STILL HARD. Here I am 23 almost, I am so sick from being pregnant I had to quit College. My boyfriend can't get the brand new truck he always wanted for graduation. He is having to sell his classic car. You have to give up SOOO MUCH. You never even dreamed of. Even if people tell you this, you won't believe it till it actually happens. I want a PS2...but there are going to be diapers to buy and a baby to watch. Will I have time to play games...I don't know.

I don't know what I am trying to get across here. I'm just saying. Even if you two are the most responsible people in the world, you make the choice to have sex responsibly, you love eachother UNBELIEVABLY. You still are never prepared as single *young* people the responsibilty that comes along with having sex.

This was in a relationship that is 3 years into the running. I know someone who got their girlfriend pregnant after seeing eachother 2 months! You're entire world changes. Support systems change. How would your parents feel when you have to tell them your going to have a baby??? Trust me its a tearful experience and one I would have rather had be a Joyfilled one.

Just think about what you want in life. Can you handle all the things that I've said? Parent ridiculing you, maybe not supporting you, maybe your girlfriend will want an abortion and you dont?? You guys are men, most of you christian...some places the men have no say if the girl wants to get rid of the baby! What if you are forced to marry someone you don't want. Or you decide to give the baby up - and you have to live with knowing someone out there is your kid!

Gosh I have gone off topic. Just make responsible choices. Be careful what you say because it may just happen to you, there are no gaurentees in life. Nothing is a *sure* thing.

Okay I'm done ranting.

Luc Solar
10-28-2002, 08:16 AM
Yea! What she said! :thumbsup:

....I think.

Luc Solar
10-28-2002, 08:38 AM
Heeeyy.... I just noticed what this thread was about! :p

I like tiny, cute, perky, athletic brunettes.

Wait a minute.... OMG! I got one! Yay! :bounc5:

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-28-2002, 11:29 PM
Hey I didnt know that there was a girl on these forums..lol.

Ratmjedi
10-28-2002, 11:36 PM
There are two girls to be exact. There is leXX and there is STTCT.
There were also two other girls but I don't know what happened to them.
:lsduel: :duel:

Taos
10-28-2002, 11:40 PM
Originally posted by Darth Yoda85
Hey I didnt know that there was a girl on these forums..lol.

Much learning you still have to do, young one......;)

DiRtY $oUtH™
10-28-2002, 11:44 PM
well then...learn i shall.

Redwing
10-29-2002, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by Darth Yoda85
Hey I didnt know that there was a girl on these forums..lol.

:rolleyes: :p

Rogue15
10-29-2002, 12:51 AM
most of the girls that come here are probably guests. :P

StormHammer
10-29-2002, 01:38 AM
Originally posted by STTCT
You have to give up SOOO MUCH. You never even dreamed of. Even if people tell you this, you won't believe it till it actually happens. I want a PS2...but there are going to be diapers to buy and a baby to watch. Will I have time to play games...I don't know.

I can only offer you a little advice. Make time for yourself. Yes, bringing up children is hard, and yes, you and your partner will have to make a lot of sacrifices. However, no matter how much you might love your children, and how much you want to do for them, and be there for them...you should not lose your own identity. If there are things that you enjoy doing now...then you need to discuss these things with your partner, and make arrangements for you to have time to yourself. Even if it's an hour a day, it helps. In the same vein, don't think that kids are a money-pit, and that you must plough all of your financial resources into them. Children are resilient. Always plan ahead and include yourselves in the equation. Having children is not about giving up your identity, or giving up your way of life...it is about welcoming them into your way of life.

My wife has often felt trapped into looking after the children (although she made a conscious choice to do so, and not work, which makes me the bread-winner so-to-speak), and she loves our kids so much she feels she shouldn't be apart from them. She feels she has to be there for them all the time...and it's simply not true. So don't give up on some of the things you like doing, even if sometimes it seems impossible to keep doing them. I've seen too many relationships fall apart because there is not enough support for the mother's needs - even if the mother is not aware of those needs herself. Support from a partner is essential, and support from other family members or close friends should always be welcomed.

As for sex and marriage...well, I'm afraid I also view marriage as little more than a symbol. I lived with my wife for 3 years before we eventually decided to 'get married', and then it was just a quiet affair with close relatives. We didn't have kids until four years after that. That's not to say we didn't have an active sex life over those 7 years. ;) Having kids never really bothered either of us when we got married...we just sort of came to a mutual decision later on that we wanted children. We were lucky in that respect, I guess...I know that sometimes that decision is taken away. However, you should never simply do 'the right thing' unless you're sure it is the 'right thing' for both parties involved.

Saving yourself until after marriage can be a mistake...or it can be the right choice. It all comes down to individual needs...and really understanding the needs of your potential partners. It's also good to be true to any beliefs you hold...as long as you remain true to yourself.