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View Full Version : Hey guys, im new here, give me some tips if u got em!


ODwankenobi
10-23-2002, 08:28 PM
please send me some tips

XERXES
10-23-2002, 08:31 PM
tips for what

girls?

XERXES
10-23-2002, 08:33 PM
OD?

you smoke up or do other things boy?

Darklighter
10-23-2002, 08:39 PM
lol...well, welcome dude to The Swamp:DEnjoy your stay;)

Biggest tip I can give:

DON'T SPAM!

Stay cool;)lol

Sivy
10-23-2002, 08:56 PM
welcome to the swamp :wavey:

mmmmmmm tips,

never insult leXX, it will be the last thing you ever do :D
as Darky said, try not to spam and definitely don't flame.

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:04 PM
I gotta tip.

If you ever capture the A-Team dont lock them in a shed full of useful machines and welding equipment.

mima kake
10-23-2002, 09:07 PM
Don't sit on a nail.
You might hurt your @$$:D

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:08 PM
Originally posted by Jah Warrior
I gotta tip.

If you ever capture the A-Team dont lock them in a shed full of useful machines and welding equipment.


:lol: :rofl: :lol:

that's funny!

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:10 PM
Another tip.

If you should happen to catch James Bond dont plan an elaborate death for him, hust shoot him between the eyes as quick as you can. He got away from me once, never again.

Darklighter
10-23-2002, 09:12 PM
Originally posted by Jah Warrior
Another tip.

If you should happen to catch James Bond dont plan an elaborate death for him, hust shoot him between the eyes as quick as you can. He got away from me once, never again.

:lol:

Another tip: Do not listen to Jah...you will kill yourself laughing if you do;)lol:D

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by Jah Warrior
Another tip.

If you should happen to catch James Bond dont plan an elaborate death for him, hust shoot him between the eyes as quick as you can. He got away from me once, never again.

i was just about to post that!

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:14 PM
Originally posted by Darklighter


:lol:

Another tip: Do not listen to Jah...you will kill yourself laughing if you do;)lol:D

he's right you know! this Jah fella talks total ball****s all the time.

PS another tip:-

Sugar does not make your gas mileage better!


ooh i got censored... coool, i meant bolloX

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:16 PM
the all time classic,

don't eat yellow snow

Boba Rhett
10-23-2002, 09:18 PM
No matter how good they may taste, don't eat rocks.

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:20 PM
Originally posted by Sivy B
the all time classic,

don't eat yellow snow

do we need a tips thread or is this already a tips thread? maybe a comedy tips thread, yeah! hold on how about a comedy not real but fake tips thread?

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:22 PM
while operating a chainsaw don't try a somersault

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:24 PM
Tip:-

You can discourage pigeons from landing on your roof by tieing a cat to your TV aerial.

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:27 PM
never, no matter how strong the urge, never superglue yourself to the rear of a constipated hippo

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:32 PM
Tip:-

Cyclists. Next time you're out on your bike take a tin bath and about 4 or 5 gallons of water in plastic containers. In the event of a flat tire this will help you locate any punctures you may have.

Boba Rhett
10-23-2002, 09:34 PM
http://www.bobarhett.netfirms.com/hijacklive.jpg


Beware of falling horses.

Do not try shooting an apple off your sibling's head whilst skipping and singing.

Never try biting an animal back. Especially if the animal is larger than you are.

Filling your colon with peanut butter my sound good on paper, but it just isn't a good idea in the long run.

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:36 PM
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Skate Boy
10-23-2002, 09:39 PM
Hi! Hmm, lets see, a tip... don't eat anything that Boba Rhett gives you.:D

Sivy
10-23-2002, 09:41 PM
lol,

don't use home-made colloidal silver dietary supplements, it will turn your skin blue

if you want blue skin use home-made collodial silver dietary supplements

slapping crocodiles is always fun, but remember not to put your head in it's mouth, no matter what it says to you

obi
10-23-2002, 09:43 PM
Know your enemy's soul! If you do not, do not consider them your enemy.

Jah Warrior
10-23-2002, 09:53 PM
Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

DOG owners. Give passers by the impression that your dog is well trained by ordering it to do whatever it happens to be doing already.

STOP squirrels taking food from your bird table by placing the food inside a biscuit tin, and securing the lid with heavy duty tape.

WHEN reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books.
Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

Sivy
10-23-2002, 10:15 PM
a hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapple cube nibble dispenser at c0cktail parties

foil pick pockets by placing a freshly toasted "Pop Tart" in each
pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside

cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes

Girls. next time you feel like throwing a ball over-arm, don't,
because you cant and it just looks silly. Just throw it girlie under-
arm style, and no-one will laugh at you, or get hurt
i hope leXX or STTCT don't see this :(

XERXES
10-23-2002, 10:17 PM
and for gods sake dont eat the stems...they dont do anything for you...

Sivy
10-23-2002, 10:23 PM
always keep a pound of lard in your pocket so that if you get your
head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide
out.

stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water

gorganfloss
10-23-2002, 10:38 PM
Hello ODwankenobi!:wavey:
Heres the unofficial welcome basket that I make in my "basement". It has a cat, candy, and some "oregano".
Enjoy the forums!

A tip: Beware Tyrion.

Sivy
10-23-2002, 11:25 PM
exterior wood stain is a fast, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.

Dath Maximus
10-23-2002, 11:40 PM
Fear me!

and always quote shakespear!

and the mother tip of them all

External Use Only!!!

Pad
10-24-2002, 09:42 AM
first off all, welcome to the swamp pall.
if u want to be trained properly at the forum u could join the academy. ask dath max about that.
enjoy ur stay!!!

second, if u see leXX talk **** about the matrix:p
j/k

PhantomHelix
10-24-2002, 09:54 AM
i have some advice......look out for weird and scary ppl like Tyrion


also, dont spam. enjoy your stay here dude.

STTCT
10-24-2002, 10:01 AM
well the only piece of advice I can think of is

Don't put a bunch of beer cans in your jetski and then go wake hopping.

PhantomHelix
10-24-2002, 10:04 AM
yeah, i agree, that would be pretty dangerous :D

well, enjoy your time at the forums!

Jah Warrior
10-24-2002, 10:52 AM
Ah sivy you git you found my secret top tips page gah!!!!:D

well it good to share these tings:D

obi
10-24-2002, 11:10 AM
Beware of Rhett, for he is actually Al Roker.



:eek:

Boba Fife
10-24-2002, 11:25 AM
A tip......a tip..........think.....think......AH!!

Never yell "MOVIE!!" in a crowded firehouse.

Always use a remote when eating a TV dinner. (the peas tend to go down easier that way)

And, last but not least: when telemarketers call you, ask for their home phone number so you can call 'em up later to continue the conversation about the exciting opportunities available in the frontiers of hair removal. :D

Sarlacc Food
10-24-2002, 12:43 PM
yoeah & u shouldnt go to the top of the eifel tower & jump down...

PhantomHelix
10-24-2002, 12:47 PM
yeah, u should def join the academy, but right now, every1 has an apprentice i think......

i only have 380 posts to go! til im a master!

Jah Warrior
10-24-2002, 02:13 PM
When walking up hills, always face downhill and walk backwards. It tricks the mind into believing you are actually walking downhill.