View Full Version : Revived: What do you want on your tombstone?

11-08-2002, 03:01 PM
Let's revive one of the best topics ever to be seen on EscapeMI. It's been almost 2 years, many more new members...

Right, so what do you want on your tombstone? To start:

"Tombstone $10,00"

I'll post more later on...

11-08-2002, 03:17 PM
"Tom Murtagh, Buried Alive"

Dance Here
\ /

Dark Sad Shadow
11-08-2002, 03:28 PM
i want:

"How i wished to be dead and rest in final peace, but even the luxury of death cant curel the wounds time cannot heal..."

11-08-2002, 03:54 PM
If you can read this, you don't need glasses

Al-back from the BigWhoop
11-08-2002, 04:00 PM
- if they selected the number 8362084 on the lottery, start digging

- this tombstone will selfdestruct in 10... 9... 8... 7...

- do not cut the red wire

- Post a joke and win a trip to BigWhoop

- Al was here

11-08-2002, 04:27 PM
"Remember youth as you pass by,
As you was once, so once was I,
As I am now, you soon will be,
Prepare to die and follow me"

The chorus from a song I wrote once, "Prepare to Die"...

11-08-2002, 04:43 PM
"Thats not a root your stepping on, ow."
"I'm accually buried in that grave --->"

"^ God
< Me, I'm dead, boy i love this game
V My body is there"

11-08-2002, 06:27 PM
"He once was alive,
But now he's dead,
They **** down his neck,
After skull-****ed his head"...how's that for improvisation, eh?

Proud Ceator of the original "What do you want on your tombstone?" topic"

(when buried next to Murta)
"Dance there

"There was was a man called Steve Chicken,
But now there isn't. Shame, really."

11-08-2002, 07:46 PM
"He was a simple man, who died of complications"

"If you can read this, get the hell of my grave"

11-09-2002, 11:54 AM
Neil Joshi, beloved husband and father. he died for his country, he died for his family, now both are much richer.

Meil Joshi
Some git spelt my name wrong.

Neil Joshi
We Hardly Knew Ye
Thank God

Neil Joshi
Don't mourn for my death
For i am not gone from sight
I am the wind
the sea
the land
i am you guiding light (cool, i just made that up, and no, it was not meant to be a joke like the others)

and finally
Non Timetis Messor
I Never Did
And I Never Will.

11-09-2002, 01:59 PM
"Neil Joshi
beloved husband,
until he died of shock
when he saw Sarah,
somehow turn more log,
than human. O.o;;;
Thanks a lot DSS."

:D ;) Sorry I had to do that Neil :p

11-09-2002, 11:22 PM
- Who gave you permission to read my tombstone?

- Help! They Buried Me Alive!

- See those two mounds of dirt?
Those are my cheeks, I was buried face down so the world could kiss my a$$.

- Careful, Decomposition at work.

11-10-2002, 02:52 PM
Beloved wife and mother
She died of a Dark Sad Shadow
A Shadow that will plague us all
Bloody git!

Neil beloved husband
Buried alive with his brutally murdered wife.
Bloody Git!

Cognitum Ergo Hatto
I think, therefore i am a hat.
Oh wait

bloody git!

11-10-2002, 03:29 PM












11-10-2002, 03:49 PM
- Tombstone, part 2

- This tombstone is for my body and the tombstone to the left of this is for the shark that ate my head.

11-10-2002, 03:58 PM
- Can someone scratch my nose? Oh, too late it's worm food now...

- There is no body in this grave, dig it up and see.

*The guy digs up the grave to find a horrifying, decomposing, sanity mangling corpse*

A sign the corpes is holding: Made you look :D

11-10-2002, 04:16 PM
- I procrastinated to the end, my body isn't even in the grave yet, I haven't gotten around to being placed here yet.

11-10-2002, 04:42 PM



Memorrys from the guy.

:sam: :max:

"Goodbye, SamNMax. We'll never forget all you did in your life."

11-11-2002, 04:56 AM
"This tombstone is made from 100% stone"

"My tombstone is better!"

"Don't look so surprised. After all, this is a graveyard"

"Visitors betweem 2 and 3 pm. Knock 3 times"

"Call 0800-234632 for hot sex" (sorry, just had to do that :D)"

"It's not as bad as it looks"

11-11-2002, 05:44 AM
"On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young."

"In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767"

"In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna."

"Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising."

"Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake."

"In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw."

"A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted."

"A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange."

"Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours."

"Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More."

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

"John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny."

"On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her."

"In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune."

"Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go."

"More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay."

"Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other."

"On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God."

"The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

"Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was."

"In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go."

11-11-2002, 11:55 AM
- Always heed the warning " Touch this and die."

- Those who see a gundam, shall not live to tell about it. They sure weren't kidding.

11-11-2002, 01:25 PM
Neil Joshi
He killed himself after seeing his wife the morning after their honeymoon.
the last words he said.
'Till death do us part'

Neil Joshi's last words.
Don't touch that button, whatever you do!

Made in Taiwan

:elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

Don't cry for me, i'm already dead.
Cry for the guy next to me, he was buried alive and wouldn't shut up.

Neil Joshi's last words:
'You don't have the guts to shoot!'

Neil Joshi's Last words:
'once my old man spoke to good king triton
and asked, whay all this se-'

Neil Joshi's last words.
'You said all men were liars, but your a man, so would that infact make-'

(please note, that last two times, i was shot when cut of in mid sentance, just incase you didn't notice)

11-11-2002, 06:20 PM
- A. D. H. D. A. S and he still does...ew.

- You Are Here V

11-11-2002, 08:58 PM
"Violets are blue, roses are red, we're coming aboard so prepare to eat lead."

"Kiss me, I've got scurvy."

"Mouthwash? We don't need no stinken' mouthwash!"


Sorry about being such a coffin theif :p

"I know your not my family, so WHAT are you doing on my grave? If it is my family, you already know the joke :D

11-11-2002, 09:17 PM
"Wow, these are surprisingly comfy."

"See you soon."

"When they say don't feed the animals, listen to them"


11-12-2002, 09:18 AM
Keep it up Neil, you're cracking me up! :D (and everyone else)

"Hung for stealing horses that didn't exist
Here are the people responsible for this."

"As you pass by
and cast an eye
as you are now
so once was I."

"I knew this was going to happen to me "

"My Dear Friends as You Pass By
As You are Now, So Once Was I.
As I am Now, You Soon Must Be.
Prepare Yourselves to Follow Me."

"Here lies Slip Mcvey
He would be here today
But bad whiskey and a fast gun
put him away."

"Ma Loved Pa,
Pa Loved Women,
Ma caught Pa with one in swimmin..
Here Lies Pa."

"I Am Woman
Hear Me Roar
And Boy Did She."

"Here lies the body of Samuel Crane
He ran a race with a passenger train
He got to the crossing and almost across
Sam and his car was a total loss
Sams spirit now tolls his knell
That Sam is on his way to well
If he only took time to stop look and listen
He'd be living now instead of missing."

"Pause, stranger, when you pass me by,
For as you are, so once was I.
As I am now, so will you be.
Then prepare unto death, and follow me."

"Here I lie, snuck as a bug in a rug."

(Two rows down in same cemetary)

"Here I lie, snucker than that other bugger."

"Beneath this stone my wife doth lie
Now she's at rest and so am I."

"Please do not use my name."

" He (She)
is a groundless roomer"

Stay high

"Here Lies
Born xxxx
Died xxxx
Dear Lord
She is thin."

"I was Carolina Born
and Carolina bred
and here I lay
Carolina dead!"

"She did what she could."

"Here lies Kelly,
We buried him today.
He lived the life of Riley,
....when Riley was away!"

"Here Lies The Body Of A Man Who Died
Nobody Mourned - Nobody Cried
How He Lived - How He Fared
Nobody Knows - Nobody Cared."

"To follow you I'm not content
Until I know which way you went!"

"For as you are, so once was I.
As you are now, once so was I
As I am now, so you will be.
Embrace ye death and follow me."

"Here Lies Joyce
She'd rather not
But no choice."

"Assuming my death
has occurred
And five doctors
have concurred..
Please REVIVE me!
If you can get
no breath
Take the person who
caused my death
and bury them
right beside me."

"Ope'd my eyes
Took a peep.
Didn't like it
Went back to sleep."

"We all have a debt
To nature due
I've paid mine
And so must you."

-- Solomon Pease --
"Here under this sod, and under these trees
Is buried the body of Solomon Pease
But here in his hole lies only the pod,
His soul is shelled out, and gone up to God."

-- Arabella Young, 1771 --
"Here lies as silent clay
Miss Arabella Young.
Who on the 21st of May,
Began to hold her tongue."

"Grim death took me
without any warning.
I was well at night,
and dead in the morning."

"He looked
for gold
and died of
lead poison."

"Here lies the bones of Private Jones
For whom War held no terrors.
A private then, a private now
No runs, No hits, just errors."

"Here's to Johnny quite a guy
Very sad he had to die
All was well could not be better
Till he wrote my girl a letter."

"Wherever you be,
Let your wind go free.
For holding it in,
Was the killing of me."

11-12-2002, 01:47 PM
neil joshi
executed for grave robery
look at him, he's still at it!

Neil Joshi
Loving Husband and Father
lost kitten. if found, please call 5557120 (this after being told that she still had 7 word left on the engravers bill)

Neil Joshi
he died in uncertain circumstances
we think.

Harry Houdini
I could have sworn i buried him last week.

Neil Joshi's last words.
"You killed my father
You killed my mother
You killed my brother
But you will not kill me"

Neil Joshi's last words
"No! Don't press the red button!"

Neil Joshi's last words.
"Wrong lever!"

Neil Joshi's last words
"Aren't we supposed to say something!" ([i]You'll only get this if you read 'The Last hero')

Neil Joshi's last words
"to hell with the red wire, it's all the way back there, i'm cutting all of them!"

Neil Joshi's last words
"What bear. i don't see a bear"

11-12-2002, 05:31 PM
"Last Words: What did you say? I can hear you. What do you mean load you sun? Why would you do that? OH, haha, you meant load you.... OH...."

Last Words: "I am rubber, you are glue, anything you throw at me bounces off me and sticks to you!" He was murdered by a lead bullet.

"The coffin they made themselves, my family did, so resting in peace will torture this kid..."

11-12-2002, 07:28 PM
"Last words: Wait a minute, that's not a violin......"

"Last words: Hah, cute... Where's the momma bear?"

"Last words: A bullet proof vest please!" (When asked by the firing squad if they had any final requests

11-13-2002, 05:27 AM
"Here lies a nun, she lived to the age of one hundred and ten
She gave to the worms what she refused to men."

11-13-2002, 08:26 AM
neil joshi, fell into a grave and was never heard from again.

here lies neil joshi
a sailor lost at sea. (try and figure that one out)

Neil joshi's last words.

Neil Joshi.
I will kill all who read this.
yes, that means you as well.

Neil Joshi's last words
I came,
I Saw.
They conquered

here lies
Casper the friendly boy.

Take from us at such a young age
Stupid aliens!


he went crazy and then performed hiw own eulogy

11-13-2002, 10:11 AM
the trick is to keep breathing...

Al-back from the BigWhoop
11-13-2002, 12:37 PM
lol @ neil's (lost in the sea)

Last words: "hey, y is every1 runni..."
"i dont need those crappy glasses"

here lies Al, the creator of teletubies.
To spit in his grave, plz stand in line.

11-13-2002, 01:57 PM
The Last Words of Renound Pilot Neil Joshi
'Are you sure that's the fuel light? I always thought it was the light saying everythings working.'

The last words of Neil Joshi
'Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, the captain ahs it all under control.'

The Last words of Neil Joshi
'I swear, i didn't see no iceberge!'

The Last words of Neil Joshi.
'Leave? in our moment of triumph. i think not.' (ROTJ, if you hadn't noticed)

The Last words of Neil Joshi.
'Do you think that flashing red light means anything?'

The Last words of Neil Joshi.
'Hey Windu! Your mother was a-'

11-13-2002, 04:59 PM
Last Words: "Ahhhh look at the big kitty."
Last Words: "Thats the thats the second biggest... no that is the biggest form of Godzi-"

Here lies K-Jo
He loved this letter: °
He got mad if you forgot it
He punched out you if you forgot it in his name.
A hired assasin called him "Kjolen"
Here he lies.
LOL J/k! He died of old age hahahahahaha!

11-13-2002, 06:15 PM
Last words-I can jump that
Last words-You call that a challenge?
Last words-It's not that shallow
Last words-Hah, he can't be that big

11-14-2002, 09:33 AM
I'd put on it:


11-14-2002, 12:09 PM
Neil joshi's last words
'Hey, don't worry, it's not real blood, oh wait...'

Neil Joshi's last words
'Two days old this shirt, and look, a bullet hole in it!'

Neil Joshi's last words
'Like that blades real!'

Neil Joshi's last words.
'All you gotta do when wrestling alligators is to lie them on there back, watch, i'll show you'

Neil Joshi's last words
'That giant woman's got a monkey in her hand. now there's something we didn't see coming. now in my day, you weren't sat on by great enormous women, at least not until you paid them first, and still...'

Neil Joshi's last words.
'It's okay, i put the safety on.'

11-14-2002, 03:31 PM
My last words:

"I'll get a world record for this."

"It's fireproof."

"He's probably just hibernating."

"What does this button do?"

"I'm making a citizen's arrest."

"So, you're a cannibal..."

"It's probably just a rash."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?"

"The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is?"

"I've seen this done on TV."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."

"Let it down slowly."

"Rat poison only kills rats."

"Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town."

"It's strong enough for both of us."

"This doesn't taste right."

"I can make this light before it changes."

"Nice doggie."

"I can do that with my eyes closed."

"I've done this before."

"Well, we've made it this far."

"That's odd."

"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?"

"Don't be so superstitious."

"Now watch this..."

"What duck?"

11-15-2002, 04:51 PM
Kj°len waz here He was a loving man.

11-16-2002, 03:03 PM
nice ones DS.

Neil Joshi's last words:

"Hello there, you look like a man who needs help with his love life!"

"It's okay, i've just constructed a copper roof, were perfectly protected from the lightning and... uh, what, what do you mean it blew off!"

after standing on a hill in the middle of a storm "All gods are bastardes!"

"just squeeze that trigger a little harder."

"If theres a crocodile i can't handle, i haven't met him!"

"Trap door. what trap doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

"ha! i laugh in the face of danger. ha ha ha ha!"

11-18-2002, 08:43 AM

"I think you're bad luck."

"Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. "

"Hey there's no handles inside these car doors! "

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo. "

"Let's ask that group of basketball players for directions. "

"Here's my Kent state student ID. "

"Can we get a vision plan? "

"Why am I standing on a plastic sheet? "

"No, my shoes aren't untied. "

"What do you mean, "I'll be back"? "

"Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing a different color? "

"What's that priest doing here? "

"You look just like Charles Manson. "

"I hope they speak English. "

"OK, I'll go ahead and make your day. "

"It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights. "

"I'll get your toast out. "

"Give me liberty or give me death. "

"That birthmark on your head looks like 999. "

"I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second. "

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. "

"OK this is the last time. "

"This planet has an atmosphere just like on earth. "

11-18-2002, 01:30 PM
Neil Joshi's last words.

'My last meal?'

'So can this go any faster.'

'What do you mean i need "skill with a sword"?'

'Two foot tall, froglike, with a cane and 800 years old. and you call him a warrior?'

'EeeeWok? sounds like a chinese man with a speech impediment. it can't hurt me.'

11-18-2002, 05:55 PM
Last Words or Actions:

"Don't worry, this is inflammable."

"Don't worry, thats just candy glass."

*Slaps Lizard_Queen.*

*Slaps Mr. Weasel*

*Slaps brick wall*

"I know why your torturing me, your JEALOUS."

"Whats that your trying to hide behind your back."

*5 minutes too early* "Hey did you propose to her yet? ... What?..."

"Your overconfidence will be your downfall."

*Stops in the middle of a road* "Wow that car's ugly."

"It looks like the tables have turned."

"Now I have the upper hand haha!"

"Bounty Hunters are only in movies."

"Wrestling is fake see?"

"Hey, someone has a laser pointer, it's on my shirt."

11-19-2002, 06:28 AM
1. "And now the tasting test."

2. "May that become hot?"

3. "And now a little bit from this..."

4. "... And please keep that test tube alone!"

5. "And now shake it a bit."

6. "Why is there no label on this bottle?"

7. "In which glass was my mineral water?"

8. "The bunsen burner *is* out!"

9. "Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?"

10. "*H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn..."

11. "Oh, now I have spilt something..."

12. "First the acid, then the water..."

13. "And now the detonating gas problem."

14. "This is a completely save experimental setup."

15. "Where did I put my gloves?"

16. "Oh no, wrong beaker..."

17. "The fire alarm is just being tested."

18. "Now you can take the protection window away..."

19. "And now keep it constant at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27..."

20. "Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?"

21. "I feel it how long 15 seconds are!"

22. "Something is wrong here..."

23. "Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?"

24. "Trust me - I know what I am doing."

25. "And now a cigarette..."

11-19-2002, 06:47 AM
"He never wanted to think of something to write on his gravestone. He enjoyed life"