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Kj°len
10-20-2002, 02:23 PM
So sad... that if aliens ever came to earth and we told them about our wars they would ask us who we fought against, because we have not yet achieved galactic space travel, it'll be sad that we have to say we fight and kill each other.
:disaprove
:(

Joshi
10-21-2002, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by Kj°len
So sad... that if aliens ever came to earth and we told them about our wars they would ask us who we fought against, because we have not yet achieved galactic space travel, it'll be sad that we have to say we fight and kill each other.
:disaprove
:(

you know, he's right, we always see movies about aliens coming down and trying to destroy the earth, but the reality is, we're destroying it ourselves, aliens wouldn't bother attcking us, they'd just sit back and watch us destroy ourselves. it's sad.

MagnusB
10-21-2002, 02:09 PM
Well Neil, to be honest it seems more likely that aliens would be hostile. I mean, aren't most animals hostile? And it appears more likely [to me at least] that aliens would be more like animals than humans.....
Well, what do we know anyway?

Concerning the theme of the topic, it certainly is sad. :/ The biggest problem with attacks such as these is that since it's almost impossible to figure out when and where they will take place, it's almost impossible to stop them.

However, let's look at some of the positive things happening in the world. For instance, the princess of Norway is pregnant with a sucky writer. :)

Joshi
10-21-2002, 02:17 PM
sorry, but there are so many things wrong with what you said (not about war and all that, that was very true, the aliens part)

first of all, not all animals are hostile, i've never seen a tortoise fight an eagle back. and also, how do you know that aliens would be hostile, and like animals, jsut because they would eb different from us, doesbn't mean that they would ifnd us a threat or that we should find them a threat. they could only want peace in the same way that we could. that's the thing about aliens, they could be more intelligent and advanced then us, but then again, they might not be, they may be simple and we are seen as teh threat to them. think about that.

but perhapes this conversation is best continued in another topic as we are trying to grieve the losses of those killed in bali. terrorism is one of the worst thing to happen to this world. and it started out as people using terror to get what they want. small things like money or wealth, and they would threaten such things as buildings and monuments. but now they are using it against people lives in order to save their country. true, a worthy prize, but it shouldn't have come to this. this is so wrong.

MagnusB
10-21-2002, 02:26 PM
I know. I agree.
What I said was actually a bit of a joke, but I didn't get that through very well. My point was that we don't know ANYTHING about aliens... We don't know whether they have any sorts of senses, emotions, feelings or anything, or not; and thus speculating about how they would react to encountering us is pointless in the first place.
Let's drop the subject, ok? :)

Drunken_Sailor
10-22-2002, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by Kj°len
So sad... that if aliens ever came to earth and we told them about our wars they would ask us who we fought against, because we have not yet achieved galactic space travel, it'll be sad that we have to say we fight and kill each other.
:disaprove
:(

I doubt any civilization could develop that. Didn't have their own internal wars at some point, so I don't think there'd be any surprise on the part of the aliens to learn we in fact have done so.

Originally posted by MagnusB
We don't know whether they have any sorts of senses, emotions, feelings or anything, or not; and thus speculating about how they would react to encountering us is pointless in the first place.

If the aliens did not have any senses, emotions, feelings, etc., then what drove them to explore the galaxy???

Drunken_Sailor
10-23-2002, 09:29 AM
If aliens ever arrive here, we KNOW they are more advanced than us! Speculating about anything may be pointless but it is human nature to do so! And it's so much fun! So I'll kick in with this. If we ever have alien visitors, let's hope they ARE friendly! Otherwise, we are deep in the stuff that makes tomatoes grow! I have always been very skeptical about intelligent life existing elsewhere. And even if it did, the scope and magnitude of space/time is so vast, it would be a miracle if intelligent beings from another world might find their way to Earth. And they would have opened the doors to the secrets of traveling thousands of years from one star to another! In a reasonable amount of time!

What do you think about alien abductions? You can imagine what my response to that is. And here it is. I think it's a form of mass hysteria. The human brain can conjure up (being a last frontier of sorts) all sorts of wild and crazy things! But I like to keep an open mind about all of this. Because..............YOU NEVER KNOW!

Natty
10-23-2002, 09:32 AM
SIGNS :)

Joshi
10-23-2002, 10:25 AM
man i love that movie!!!

sorry, we were meant to drop that topic.

MagnusB
10-23-2002, 01:27 PM
If the aliens did not have any senses, emotions, feelings, etc., then what drove them to explore the galaxy???

Again, what do we know? Maybe they had some other reason? It's impossible to tell.

It's seems unlikely to me that there is no life out there, but it seems equally unlikely that we wil ever meet them, and thus we will never know. Another thing, even if we did establish some sort of contact with them, we probably wouldn't be able to understand each other. I mean, it's hard to tell how they communicate, but there's a pretty good chance it doesn't involve neither sound nor writing, and if it did, they would probably use a system so unlike our's that we would never be able to figure it out. Don't quote me on this, cause again, what do we know? It would be an incredible, and slightly disturbing discovery if they wrote with words and sentences like us for example. That would be a pretty sick coincidence.
About alien abduction, it seems unlikely to me that aliens that had managed to travel to Earth would try to hide, while sporadically showing up and capturing human specimen for research. Sure, you could say that they are just exploring our planet, and called for backup thousands of years ago, and that the rest of the gang is on their way as we speak...., but doesn't it all seem a bit too..... crazy?

Signs is a good movie, but *SPOILER*




the whole thing about the water was pretty far-fetched. I mean; one thing is that there is lots of water in the air as well, another is that if they were smart enough to find us and travel to us, surely they would know that they had to avoid the water, and brins some sort of protection. That goes for the how they were unable to get through small wooden doors and such as well.
All in all, the aliens were a bit to stereotypical. :alien5:

Joshi
10-23-2002, 01:47 PM
okay, first, it seems logical that aliens would communicate using some sort of writing that we would try to translate as best we could if the situation ever presented itself. think about it, after all of the grunting and stuuff, early mans first form of non verbal communication (apart from body language) was to make markings on a surface, maybe scratching on a wall, and then we developed that into papyrus and then paper adn we got writing.

it seems logical that and alien races may do the same thing, if intelligent enough (i.e., as intelligent as us, remember, if less intelligent, they would be as smart as the animals around us and therefore would not write) and even though they may have different symbols to our ABC's, we could maybe still translate them.

also, signs

**spoiler** (highlight it if you don't know)
the whole thing with thew water here was that first, they needed enough to actually burn themselves with, so the water in the air wouldn't have hurt them. second, these didn't really have any sort of technology apart from teh ships we never see as all they needed was the poison gas thingie from their wrist and they seemed pretty primative (whilst at the same time building a ship good enough to come to earth, but never mind that). thirdly, they did stay away from water, as the guiy who killed his wife said, but they weren't to know that water was going to be found in the home. and finally, this whole subject was a little farfetched as it was trying to convey the idea that everything happens for a reason (whic on some levels, i believe, but on others, may not, depending on how much you believe in fate and god) as you can see (the reason the little girl would take a sip of water and then leave it somewhere and get a new glass of water was so at the end, they could use it on the alien, the reason his wife said 'swing away' was so his brother would swing his baseball bat and then the whole asthma thing), but that was the main point of the movie, not to make the aliens scientifically accurate, but to convey a message. and so the whole water in the air thing was obviously ignored as it wasn't helping the wotry they were trying to tell.

Drunken_Sailor
10-24-2002, 04:35 AM
Well, I believe that most likely, they would be peaceful to us. It seems that any civilization that would have made it to the point of interstellar travel would have to be a fairly peaceful civilization (or had more common sense than us) not to have destroyed themselves with nuclear weapons, or other weapons of mass destruction. They would treat any civilizations they encounter with the same benevolence with which they treat each other (hopefully).

A very dubious conclusion, I'm afraid. After all, Germany was one of the most advanced nations scientifically and technologically, to say nothing of the arts, music, literature, etc, and yet produced the Nazis and mass destruction and killing.

Natty
10-24-2002, 07:18 AM
The aliens want to come and steal my intelligence- I won't let them, you hear me? I see strange looking people sometimes and I bet they're aliens sent from far strange away place to come and steal my brain!

I'd just smile and dazzle them with my sweetness and offer them some chocolate and everything will be fine- the aliens wont know what has hit them once they have some choccy :) Everyone loves choccy and if you don't you need a smack :p

Drunken_Sailor
10-24-2002, 10:52 AM
Then you might have the other side of the coin. They are highly intelligent, superior-to-us worm-like creatures who look upon us as food (and not for thought), and/or being very invasive, war-like creatures, even among themselves, may just decide to plant themselves on our luscious planet (theirs being long gone) once we are out of the way. Maybe I've seen too many non-Spielberg movies!

SIGNS was still an entertaining, scary movie though.
There has been some conjecture that mathematics will be the "universal" language if we ever get the opportunity to try to communicate with an alien civilization. However unlikely that civilization may be likely to try to communicate with us. If it exists at all.

I'd guess our initial "conversation" would be based on mathematics. Showing we know the relationship between the circumference of a circle to it's radius out to however many places we currently have it, or the prime numbers, etc. would be a good point to start.

Then again, there's always pictures (like what we put on the Voyager crafts, along with a record).

Drunken_Sailor
11-25-2002, 06:09 AM
You have to hope aliens can relate to rock and Mozart. LOL. If any kind of music at all. LOL

Can you imagine if they heard rap or blue grass? It might start an intergalactic war!

Blue grass I can relate to sometimes. But rap to my ears is an abomination and reason enough to start a war. j/K (I like rap). But in the fullness of time, I suspect it will go the way of all fads. I read one article that suggests that may already be underway.

Blue grass is okay. After all, it has that down home, Wild Turkey, flavor! Our fancy schmancy digital TV cable company have 3 (THREE!) rap video channels! Of course rap has made for effective sound tracks to some fine films recently. PULP FICTION comes first to mind! LOL

Ok, back to topic.

Signs was a good picture though. Scary too. LOL. The Phoenix character watched the news in the closet. LOL. That's what I would have done and I wouldn't come out til it was over. Man that alien was a mean mother!

I still agree with your point of telling them that we kill each other. It's the most repulsive thing we could tell other species. They probably have fought wars with other worlds and different species.

About the animals, you'r right that not all animals are hostile towards another. We don't know for sure if aliens have the kind of technology that they would need to get to us. Maybe, just maybe, they see us as the animals killing each other to helpless inferior species on the same world. Even I pity this world.

Don't forget this is the grand design of mother nature - the balance of nature - the food chain - there has to be a predator and there has to be prey. We humans foul all that up.

Interesting though. I once read a sci-fi story about aliens who came to Earth, I think to colonize, but you see they had evolved from rabbits, and when they saw us eating meat they were so repulsed that they didn't even bother to try to take over. They figured we were a hopeless case and to barbaric to even be around.

Joshi
11-25-2002, 03:19 PM
once read a book calle 'only you can save mankind' about a computer game with the same name where you basically had to kill and alien race. it was written in the eighties so this game had poor graphics (and yet still achieved 3d environments). basically, one day, whilst a young boy named johnny was playing it, a message appeared on his screen say that they surrender. the aliens weren't meant to do that, but that did anyway. going a little into the book, we find out that these aliens live in what we call 'game space' and must get back past their borders to their home universe where humans can't get to them. but for some reason, all humans want to do is shoot at them. all they can do is fight back and whenever they kill a human, the human comes back, but when one of them is killed, they are really killed. and it's up to johnny to save this alien race. whenever he goes to sleep, he dreams, and dreams he is in a real space ship helping these aliens. you could think that this is all dreams in his head, until it starts pouring into real life. the same copy of the game all over the world is tried and none of them play properly, there are no aliens, no matter how much you fly. no one can understand this except johnny who know,s he's got to save this alien race from mankind. it also has referance to space invaders as the aliens who tried to get home before, but were wiped out by humamns. now this alien race will eb wiped out if johnny doesn't help them. he has to help, he has to save them. only he can save mankind.

sorry, thought i'd insert that. good book, i suggest u read it.

Drunken_Sailor
11-29-2002, 04:15 AM
Aliens, when discovered will definatly NOT be hostile. If capable of meeting us with proper technology, they must have evolved beyond a point in which they get along to accomplish tasks such as the construction of a ramjet.

Joshi
11-29-2002, 02:03 PM
i really don't think that any of us can say whether aliens would be hostile or not, it depends on the situation. if aliens had exhauted food on their planet, they may well come over here and take ours by force. but if they simply wanted to explore, then they may be very cautiouse, if not open and friendly. but frankly, this hasn't happened yet (and if we're to believe the roswell conspiricies, we haven't exactly treated them well have we?) and so we can't say whether they are hostile or not.

Drunken_Sailor
11-30-2002, 10:18 AM
Yeah, being friendly of good intentions or just plain nice are not necessarily correlated with high technology. Hitler's Germany is a case in point.

Joshi
11-30-2002, 04:00 PM
yeah, but maybe they aren't technologically sopund. i mean, maybe they're not of extra intelligence. think about it, if we found a way to harness energy in such a way that we could travel faster than light, then we could easily send out an astronaut (sp?) to find alien races. the fact that we wouldn't be able to keep in contact with him/her or ever see him/her again doesn't say anything. so really, all i'm saying is that an alien race could do teh exact same thing, but just because they could do it before us doesn't make them more intelligent than us does it? maybe they're incredibly stupid (or cousre if we're talking about the movie signs, i think it was incredibly stupid to go invade a planet which is two thirds water)

Rogue15
12-01-2002, 12:36 AM
http://www.webspawner.com/users/saber2/images/cruel.jpg

i'll let the picture speak for itself. :)

Kj°len
12-01-2002, 06:12 PM
Woah, this topic must have been brought back when I was gone. Scared me lol.


Hmmm I posted this in October? No way... I thought it was like sometime in the summer....

Drunken_Sailor
12-02-2002, 04:01 AM
Originally posted by Neil Joshi
yeah, but maybe they aren't technologically sopund. i mean, maybe they're not of extra intelligence. think about it, if we found a way to harness energy in such a way that we could travel faster than light, then we could easily send out an astronaut (sp?) to find alien races. the fact that we wouldn't be able to keep in contact with him/her or ever see him/her again doesn't say anything. so really, all i'm saying is that an alien race could do teh exact same thing, but just because they could do it before us doesn't make them more intelligent than us does it? maybe they're incredibly stupid (or cousre if we're talking about the movie signs, i think it was incredibly stupid to go invade a planet which is two thirds water)

What would be the point in sending someone out to find alien races if we could never hear from him/her again? We wouldn't know what they found, and so would gain nothing. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Joshi
12-02-2002, 01:35 PM
i'm not saying we would do that, just that we could. we're not stupid enough to do that, but the fact of the matter is, we could if we wanted to. and so is the same with other alien races, they could send out an alien to our planet, but that doesn't meant that they are more advanced than us does it.

also kjole, you never started this topic, or at least technically. Natty started a topic about Australians uniting for the bali bombing and it side tracked into this. rather than deleting all accused posts, feral simply split the thread.

Drunken_Sailor
12-03-2002, 07:45 AM
Since we haven't done it yet, I would assume that if they have, then they are more advanced.

Joshi
12-03-2002, 03:55 PM
well, okay, but that doesn't make them more intelligent than us does it. think about it, they could just be advanced. we're not any more intelligent now, than man i century ago are we, we're just more advanced. this means, that if the idea is theer, then we could well be more intelligent than alien lifeforms that come to our planet.

Darth Eggplant
12-03-2002, 08:41 PM
We Are Coming
We Are Legion
the Drowned God exists!

Joshi
12-04-2002, 02:10 PM
yeah, so anyway, like i was saying, we can't be sure whether aliens would be hostile against us or not.

Drunken_Sailor
12-14-2002, 07:47 AM
Some people claimed that "we can't say crap about aliens cause there aren't any, politely, grow up!"

How do they know there aren't any aliens? Because their Christian school says so?

LOL! That person was pretty positive in making that statement. LOL. IMHO that's just asking for it! Never say never, ESPECIALLY when it comes to our Universe! :O Heads up folks. We'll probably get a visitor for Christmas and it WON'T be Santa!

Kj°len
12-14-2002, 11:21 PM
What makes you say that, Drunken Sailer?

Feral
12-15-2002, 07:33 AM
I think we are more likely to see aliens than Snta at Christmas...check this out.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him to get back up the chimney into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times, the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 540,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in 1 milli-second, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrous considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

Joshi
12-15-2002, 02:14 PM
a priest recently said that as a joke in one of his sermons not realising that he would be upsetting many of the younger people in the church. apparently, he didn't know there were younger children in the audience.

but in the spirit of christmas, i will say that santa is able to do all of those things because of magic (which is basically the asnwer to any plot holes in fantasy stories). :D

Kj°len
12-15-2002, 03:13 PM
Originally posted by Neil Joshi
also kjole, you never started this topic, or at least technically. Natty started a topic about Australians uniting for the bali bombing and it side tracked into this. rather than deleting all accused posts, feral simply split the thread.

Ahhh now I see, I remember posting this now, but I also remember posting the thread to, even though i didn't, i remember the fears of thread post like, its going to be spam, or epople will hate it, creeeeeeepy.

Drunken_Sailor
12-16-2002, 11:15 AM
Ho, ho, ho.

Aimee_lou_uk
12-19-2002, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
I think we are more likely to see aliens than Snta at Christmas...check this out.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him to get back up the chimney into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times, the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 540,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in 1 milli-second, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrous considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

You forgot about the ammount santa would weigh after eating a mince pie after every house!:rolleyes:
*tuts* :D

Drunken_Sailor
12-20-2002, 04:07 AM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
I think we are more likely to see aliens than Snta at Christmas...check this out.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him to get back up the chimney into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times, the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 540,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in 1 milli-second, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrous considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

Lol, where did you find this article?? It gives a good laugh!

Originally posted by Neil Joshi
A priest recently said that as a joke in one of his sermonies, not realising that he would be upsetting many of the younger people in the church. Apparently, he didn't know there were younger children in the audience.

But in the spirit of Christmas, I will say that Santa is able to do all of those things because of magic (which is basically the answer to any plot holes in fantasy stories). :D

I think the whole myth of Santa Clause should be done away with once and for all. What purpose does it serve, really? Just makes children greedy to get presents, and disaffects them when they get older. BAH, HUMBUG!

Joshi
12-20-2002, 07:56 PM
your got coal when you were a kid at christmas didn't you?
i think the whole idea of sanata isn't to make children greedy, but you give them hope in all things god. children will at a young at need role models to look up to which they just can't get at home. a happy good giving man is the kind of person we would all like to be, despite the fact that we aren't. it would be nice if our children were like that wouldn't it?

also, it's faith. you may not believe in it, but i do. i never believed in santa when i was a child. i told myself i was, every christmas, i'd put a mince pie and sherry and carrots on the table for santa. every christmas morning, i walk dowstairs, see the bits taken out and half the sherry gone, and i'd know it was my dad, but it still felt special somehow. i don't know how, it just did. it's a feeling children get when they know something magical had happened in their house.

it's what's called christmas spirit. i am not christian, i do not believe in jesus and do not to an extent believ in christmas, but i do believe in christmas spirit, because that is something that has nothnig to do with religeon, it's to do with bringing the best out in people and making everyone feel happy. sure, we can't make evryone happy, but even at work today, athiests are wearing santa hats or hair bands with red antlers on, they don't care about it being the month in which jesus was born, they just want to have fun at a joyus time. that's christmas spirit. If santa brings us anything this year, whether he exists or not, it will be christmas spirit. a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

Drunken_Sailor
12-23-2002, 08:39 AM
Au contraire, I always got good stuff. I am all for the TRUE Christmas spirit, but today it seems that that is forgotten in the comercialization of the whole holiday, starting in October, or even
September in some cases.

So I contend that it basically appeals to greed and the religious aspect has been almost fogotten.

Joshi
12-23-2002, 01:41 PM
Almost, but not completely. i think we can both agree to disagree here, christmas, easter, mothers day, (i'm not sure about thanksgiving, we don't celebrate it here, but i'm under the impression that it's basically true to what it's always been, have turkey and be thankful, correct me if i'm wrong) and fathers day was invented by comerciallists (sp?). but i think we can both agree that there is some christmas spirit here that we need to hold onto.

if your still wanting to get rid of father christmas, then so beit, but this should make you happy (and make a lot of peoplr laugh)

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http://www.amazinghumor.com/pics/0453.jpg

hee hee hee.

Feral
12-23-2002, 01:59 PM
Originally posted by Neil Joshi
christmas, easter, mothers day, (i'm not sure about thanksgiving, we don't celebrate it here, but i'm under the impression that it's basically true to what it's always been, have turkey and be thankful, correct me if i'm wrong) and fathers day was invented by comerciallists (sp?)

Actually, out of your entire list, only Mother's & Father's day were created by commerciallists. Christmas and Easter are both Christian festivals that have been celebrated for the last two millenia. However, the chocolate eggs only came into easter about 200 years ago, and Christmas only became a huge event commericially as little as 50 years ago (my dad, who is 60, still remembers when all you asked for for Christmas was an orange).
An interesting sidenote you've probably heard before: a hundred years ago, Santa was merely the chief elf, not a jolly fat man in red and white. He only got this image after Coca-Cola dressed him in their colours and gave him the image that we now and love today.

Joshi
12-24-2002, 10:14 AM
no sorry, i wrote that wrong, there was meant to be some kind of comma there, i was only referring to fathers day when saying it was created by commerciallists. which is true, mothers day was actually a day for children to be thankful to their mothers long ago. then america thought it needed more money and came up with fathers day to even things out.
but i knew about easter and christmas, i may not be christian, but i know the story's (in a christian school with 99.99% christian children, it kinda gets forced upon you)

and yes, i did know about santa and how he wasn't really that big until commerciallists came along and spruced him up for their purposes. sad really.

now talking directly to feral and anyone else who may be interested but very few of you would understand (no point in PM, it's here right now and is relevent to the topic). but feral, if you remember the discworld novel 'Hogfather' the hogfather was originally a winter god associated with pig-killing that is custmary to country districts. according to ancient myth, the hogfather spends the year in his secret place of giant pig bones, emerging on hogswatch-night to gallop from house to house on a crude sledge draw by four tusked wild boars to deliver presents of sausages, black pudding, pork scratches and ham to all all the children who have been good. children who have been bad get a bag full of bloody bones (it's these little details that tell you it's a tale for children) there is a song about him starting "You'd better watch out..."

he evolved into the kinder version throught the belief of the children and is now as we see him, a jolly fat man who rides his sleigh drawn by four pigs to each house to give presents or coal to good or bad children. something close to our father christmas.

Feral
12-24-2002, 11:47 AM
True, but our Santa doesn't have tusks.
The Hogfather got his reputation for being kindly when a local king was riding out one night and he heard three women crying that they had no food for the midwinter's feast. Taking pity, he threw a packet of sausages through the window - badly concussing one of them, but there's no point in spoiling a good legend. His pigs are called Gouger, Rooter, Tusker and SNouter. Theya re not your average cuddly piggies.
Right, Neil, I think it's time to put our Discworld Companions away now...

Joshi
12-24-2002, 12:21 PM
you lifted just as much as i did! :D

Feral
12-24-2002, 12:27 PM
That why I said "our" instead of your :) Honest, I did mean it as plural.

Aimee_lou_uk
12-24-2002, 01:17 PM
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken



An interesting sidenote you've probably heard before: a hundred years ago, Santa was merely the chief elf, not a jolly fat man in red and white. He only got this image after Coca-Cola dressed him in their colours and gave him the image that we now and love today.

i told my A2 english language class dat, n they didnt believeme that santa used to be green till cocacola changed him! probably explains him being "chief elf"as elves are associated with little green outfits, especially around christmas!

Joshi
12-24-2002, 07:56 PM
anyone remember Santa clause the movie, with Dudly Moore (sorry, it was on like three hours ago, i didn't watch it, but it made me remember it). when he first became santa, the elves made him a big green suite to wear exactly the same as the santa suit except green of course. Mrs Clause said it wasn't his colour and thought red would be better. this isn't the same, but similar and the filmakers may have touched on that when doing the film.

just thinking about that movie now, i might as well add this in.
Rest In peace Dudley Moore.:(

but no with teh christmas cheer, it's 23:52 here at GMT, 8 Mins and it's Christmas time.

Drunken_Sailor
01-10-2003, 10:27 AM
OK. Thanks.

Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
I think we are more likely to see aliens than Snta at Christmas...check this out.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him to get back up the chimney into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times, the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 540,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A mass of nearly 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in 1 milli-second, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrous considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas

You can also find this at physlink.com. Click on FUN upper right (Physics and Astronomy fun - jokes and cartoons all over the place!) Scroll down to Is there a Santa? or How physicists can take the fun out of Christmas (from SPY Magazine - January 1990) physlink.com's FUN section is full of laughs. Check it out.

I'm going to open a new topic called SIGNS. Be my guest, Sam. I don't see why you disliked this movie UNLESS you missed that Tweed scene.

Really. She is trivial. How about crop signs? Better than Spearses and Tweedserses. What would YOU do? Turn to Mariah? Roflmao.

SuicidalXWing
01-10-2003, 05:04 PM
Is Santa an alien? Think about it. Aliens supposedly have spacecraft that can accelerate to extreme speeds and make complete stops in the blink of an eye.

Wouldn't that coincide with the whole Santa delivering to certain houses?

Also, in Japan Santa is called Annual gift man and he lives on the moon. Therefore they have Santa, despite being a mostly Buddhist country, or whatever religion is their top religion now.

Joshi
01-11-2003, 10:42 AM
so now your saying that a beloved gift bringer that many children know and love is a hideous space monster. and also, you lifted that 'annual gift man' thing from the simpsons.

SuicidalXWing
01-11-2003, 01:04 PM
What's your point? Besides, I did see a Japanese movie where Santa lived on the moon. So there is multiple evidence of it. Are you saying Simpsons is bad? Cause if you are.

*waves fist*

Joshi
01-11-2003, 01:13 PM
no, i'm not saying the simpsons is bad, it's actually one of the best programmes out there. but it's unreliable on the information front. if you believe the simpsons, you believe that a two year old baby has enough stregnth to pull the trigger on a fire arm. not likely, the gun probably wasn't even cocked up.