View Full Version : Avril Sucks

01-12-2003, 08:13 PM
Annoyance #One: Avril the Songwriter

In J-14's August issue, Avril explained her songwriting process. "Once I sit down with the guitar, I write about what I'm feeling that day." However, in the July 1st edition of Time Magazine, Ms. Lavigne admitted, "I sit down with a guitar player usually."

A guitar player. As in someone who is not her playing the guitar. Which is it, Avril? Furthermore, a look at the songwriting credits on her CD will reveal that each song was cowritten with a multitude of professional songwriters. Anyone can spit out a couple rhyming sentences, maybe even a melody here or there, when they're being guided by experts. (Britney Spears did it- is it necessary for me to say much more?) One can't help but wonder just how much of those songs was written by Avril. Yet, in that same J-14 article, she claimed, "I wrote all those songs when I was sixteen." The credits tell otherwise, and somehow I'm not buying the Avril-did-it-all version of the story.

Don't get too angry just yet. There's nothing wrong with receiving some help writing songs. However, Avril is being touted as some guitar-playing, songwriting prodigy when, in reality, she's not the only force behind those tracks. But that's what sells, so I guess that makes it alright to lie, exaggerate, and present yourself as some virtuoso.

Annoyance #Two: Avril the Guitar Player

It's pretty impossible to read an article on Avril Lavigne that doesn't mention Michelle Branch. In fact, a recent article in YM stated, "She rocks harder on the guitar than Michelle Branch." Remember that trickle of disgust flowing down my spine? There it is again. You see, Michelle Branch got her big break when she opened up for Hanson- just her, a guitar, and some undeniable raw talent. When performing, be it for TV, a live concert, a radio show, whatever- she always plays her guitar.

That's not the case with Lavigne. In numerous pictures of the singer (and I stress singer, not musician) performing, as well as the television appearances I've seen, Avril merely sings. In her acoustic sessions with AOL, she sang while a member of her band strummed along on acoustic guitar. Any half-decent musician who constantly states that she plays guitar would have proven herself then and there. A CDNow.com article reviewing a recent Avril performance mentioned that she strapped on the guitar for one song, claiming, "I suck." If someone like Britney Spears or Mandy Moore, who call themselves singers/entertainers and not musicians, played guitar for one song during a concert, I'd be impressed. Yet Avril constantly talks about how she plays guitar...why wouldn't she play it live? There's simply no excuse. And playing the few chords that she does know does not constitute a true musician. Furthermore, a look at the album credits show that Avril played guitar for only ONE song. Now that's a real guitar player.

Annoyance #Three: Avril the Lyricist

"I never spend less than an hour
Washin' my hair in the shower
It always takes five hours to make it straight

So I'll braid it in a zillion braids
Though it may take a friggin' day
There's nothin' else better to do anyway."

- "My World"

That's uh...deep.

"He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?"

Well, you sure as hell couldn't make it any more juvenile.

"He's just a boy, and I'm just a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love, haven't you heard, how we rock each other's world?

I'm with the sk8er boi, I said see you later boy
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be at the studio singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know."

- "Sk8er Boi"

First of all, the fact that it's spelled like that is enough to make me vomit all over myself. I thought no one over the age of thirteen wrote a sentence that looked like, "U R 2 Kewl 2 B 4 GOT N." Second, the lyrics are flat out ridiculous. Boy meets girl, girl is too good for boy, boy becomes big star, girl regrets it, boy meets Avril, boy and Avril live happily ever after. My imaginary nine year old sister could have penned better lyrics.

"Went back home again
This sucks, gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
Its time now
I turn around
Turn my back on everything"

- "Mobile"

Well, cry her a ****ing river. Avril, darling, you chose that lifestyle. You chose to drop out of high school, move to LA, and pursue your career. Deal with the consequences.

"I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it

La da da da La da da da"

- "Things I'll Never Say"

No "Oh baby baby" songs? There's nothing wrong with a love song or two. Yet she disses them every chance she gets...and goes and sings lines that are just as mushy. For example, also found in "Things I'll Never Say":

"If I could say what I want to say
I’d say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today"

At least Britney never proposed marriage.

Oh, and here's a bright idea for Avril to prove how punk she is. Let's have her RAP in a song. Because, ya know, most punk bands always include a rap bit or two in their songs. Here's an excerpt from "Nobody's Fool," also known as Avril's audition for Cash Money Millionaires.

"I'm not the milk and Cheerios in your spoon,
It's not a simple here we go not so soon,
I might have fallen for that when I was 14
And a little more green."

That inconceivably ridiculous first line speaks for itself. The second makes no sense whatsoever, I've no qualms with the third, and the fourth...Avril, the writing is lacking. Perhaps you shouldn't have been so quick to drop out.

"If you're trying to turn me into someone else
It's easy to see I'm not down with that
I'm not nobody's fool."

Could've fooled me. (Yes, I crack myself up.)

Annoyance #Four: Avril the Wannabe Punk Rocker

"When it is suggested that even then her tastes were kind of pop-oriented, her head snaps up as though she's been slapped. 'New country,' she says, as though pop music is somehow less cool than new country. Then again, it seems any music is better than pop music in Lavigne's eyes. Later, when it is mentioned that she seems poised for pop stardom, she is quick to correct. 'No, no, no. Rock stardom,' she says forcefully. 'I don't like using the term pop star because that's not my personality. My personality is like a rock star. I'm hardcore.'" (Taken from Nationalpost.com.)

Rock star? Hardcore? Anything but pop? Keep dreaming, Avril. Take one listen to that CD- it's pure pop with a tinge of rock here and there. A song doesn't need slick Neptunes production for it to be radio-friendly pop song that appeals to bubblegum music lovers. And the upbeat track "Naked" is undeniably, well, poppy.

And don't think I'm too evil. I can admit when a song of hers is good. In researching for this article, I downloaded them all. I think "Too Much To Ask" is a pretty good song and "Complicated" consistently gets stuck in my head. However, they're being sung by someone who's always claiming to be one thing, then singing music that's all the opposite. And isn't that what she vents about in "Complicated" anyway? Which leads me to...

Annoyance #Five: Avril the Hypocrite

"You're trying to be cool/You look like a fool to me."

The single making Avril famous, "Complicated," is a song about someone who changes their looks and personality to impress other people. Yet, in the video, Avril and crew are trashing the mall and causing all kinds of problems. Avril the rebel even smashes her guitar at the end of the video. (What a shame, it was just like new, seeing as how she strums it maybe three times throughout the entire song.) She tries to come off as this too-cool-for-school bitch with an attitude while she whines about someone who's doing the same thing to her. There's a word for that. I believe it's called hypocrisy.

She's a constant contradiction. She skateboards in the video, poses for publicity shots with the board, tells YM magazine that she's good at it...Yet, in an interview with MTV, she discussed how the director of the "Complicated" video wanted her to skate in it. Ms. Tony Hawk protested, "No, dude, I suck!" Make up your mind, Avril.

Moreover, she recently told Elle Girl, "Today, I rejected some gorgeous publicity shots because they just didn't look like me. I won't wear skanky clothes that show off my booty, my belly, or boobs. I have a great body. I could be Britney. I could be better than Britney."

No one could be Britney. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but her popularity and success are mind-blowing. For Avril to arrogantly declare that she could do even better than one of the most successful teen pop artists ever is ludicrous (and a bit too cocky for my liking). And if she's so against posing in slutty clothes, why didn't she throw in some of that bitchy attitude she seems so proud of and refuse to wear the outfits to begin with? The story simply isn't adding up.

Annoyance #Six: Avril the Packaged Product

Unless you're living in Tanzania, you've probably noticed that punk music is edging back into the mainstream. The demand for Britney and NSYNC is down and this means less money for the music execs who buy their Porsches and mansions with money made from teen stars. Time for a new plan. It amazes me that so few people see through this. Avril is dressed in Dickies, ties, studded jewelery, Chuck Taylors- most of which isn't usually worn by the pop fans. Furthermore, she's being hyped up as the songwriter/guitarist that I attacked earlier. She calls herself a skater punk, categorizes her music as rock and punk, poses in pictures with a skateboard...yet her music is anything but what such fashion would suggest. Being punk does not come from wearing the right thing. However the image is helping her to sell more records because it's what's popular now. One look through any teen magazine will reveal models dressed in clothing just like hers.

And let's not forget the fake tattoos she wears on her arms. Cause that's like, ya know, sooo totally hardcore. Let me go draw a big skull and crossbones on my arm so that I can be punk too. Please.

Yet another thing adding to her image that sells so well- upon visit to her official website, "Sk8er Boi," the only remotely faster rock song on the album, begins blaring. Obviously, they want the visitors to form an impression of Avril's music based on that song, when in reality, the rest of the album simply doesn't sound like that.

Avril Lavigne just seems fake, plain and simple. She tries to pull off this tormented, wounded puppy look in the "Complicated" video. She emphasizes her songwriting and guitar playing, yet had numerous songwriters work on her album, while the guitar is rarely strapped around her body when the music is live.

A member of an Anti-Avril community on Live Journal pointed out, "And if she takes all this time trying to label all of her music, she probably isn't what she says she is, cause she has to prove everything through her clothes. Your personality should come from the music you create, and if you are that pathetic to keep on classifying it, might as well forget it." Well done. I couldn't have said it better myself.

This was taken from http://www.nerd-love.org/avrilsucks/

01-12-2003, 08:51 PM
It's excessive to complain that much about anyone, pop stars in particular. In all honesty, Avril is a poser in denial, and her reaction to questions about her image kind of proves that. She's just a little too defensive, which psychologically is often a sign that she knows she's what she says she's not.

All that aside, I don't like the way she tries to be punk. She barely even looks alternative. "Sk8ter Boi" is the only song close to punk on the whole album, and even then it's poppy and way too "Oh geez, popular people are so DUMB" cliché.

If the Sex Pistols were like Avril, people would have been like "Anarchy in the what?".

01-12-2003, 08:56 PM
When I first saw Avril I was like, Thank god, finally a punk rock chick has made it....and shes a cutie. I at first ignored the poppyness of complicated...and just saw her as the cute punk rock chick that I wanted to marry. Thats before I found out she is as dumb as a post. I think she is big due to the image....its an image we haven't really had before....most of the leading ladies are poppy princesses....or dirty pop-wh0res. Hi Christina...But alas....avril is poppy as hell, yet I'm still attracted to her badly...I'd like if she could skateboard (she can't), I'd like if she could play guitar (she can't), I'd like if she was smart (she isn't), I'd like if she was a punk rocker (she isn't really...), so what do I have? Good looks.....I do like her voice at times. I guess I'll have to go back to my ska queen - Gwen Stefani....oh wait, No Doubt is crap now.....nevermind!
Hey Avril, I'd be happy to give you guitar lessons, skating lessons, teach you some basic english skills so you won't talk like a valley girl, and show you how to be punk...sorta.
Hey Gwen...reggae isn't cool in my books, go back to ska...sorry :(
Yeah, I'm mostly in agreement with this post, but I still want to like Avril for some reason....Does she know shes not punk? Thats what I want to ask Good Charlotte too....look at Benji - the lead guitar/backup vocals...he's got him some hardcore punk look....listen to the music? Not punk...its pop-punk (sorry to say, I love good charlotte....think they are fantastic, and put on a great show...just not all that "punk"....but, punk enough for me:))
Hey Good Charlotte...keep rockin, I'll see you at the warped tour again next year....glad you guys are famous now...throw in some harder stuff next album plz...

01-12-2003, 09:31 PM
I'm glad No Doubt went in a new direction. Return of Saturn pretty much showed they were going nowhere doing the 'ska' thing. Reggae is fun to listen to and certainly something different from the everyday mainstream routine.

Good Charlotte.. heh.

01-12-2003, 10:32 PM
Avril is crazy, she always shows off with a skateboard, but I bet she cant even skateboard!!! :mad:

01-12-2003, 11:42 PM
Reggae is fun to listen to and certainly something different from the everyday mainstream routine.
This is true...but I find it only true when its from a true reggae band...like Morgan Heritage or Bob Marley. Yes, I think Return of Saturn did suck...I'm just not happy with the 180 mctwist they did musically...i still love Gwen though.

Avril is crazy, she always shows off with a skateboard, but I bet she cant even skateboard!!!
I'm pretty sure she can't....on the video they show her riding down a ramp....thats about it. I doubt she can ollie....oh well. All to show the image.

And yes....Heh, to good charlotte....again, I like em :)

01-13-2003, 12:06 AM
Just forget about it. I see people every day who think they're 'punk' or whatever because they listen to MTV rock bands like Good Charlotte, New Found Glory, Green Day or whatever and if they want to listen to that, that's cool. If people want to listen to Avril Lavigne and think they's punk, whatever, you can laugh at them. I'm just glad I'm educated enough to see past MTV and radio and crap and find out about the real bands out there

01-13-2003, 07:14 AM
She really does suck for all the reasons mentioned above.
Now many of the girls in my school go around dressing like her, thinking they are hardcore...bah...

I downloaded her doing a cover for Chop Suey.....
listening to it, I wanted to strangle that b*tch!

but dont worry, her 15 minutes of fame will be up soon

01-13-2003, 08:26 AM
Originally posted by NiKo

I downloaded her doing a cover for Chop Suey.....
listening to it, I wanted to strangle that b*tch!

Hahahaha i have heard that... it was the worst thing i have ever ever ever heard (i will put a link 2 it cuz my friend has it on his site but dunno his website addy...)

I fort yeah complicated is good... shes a nice good song writr... until i lernt the truth... n i wudnt hav been all dat bothered if she hadnt portrayed all the "i write my own songs" sh*t!

Heard her perform live?

she runs over 2 1 side of the stage bounces... runs back bounces stands otally still for the rest of the song n near the end does the same then runs into the drum set HUH? :confused:

I was watchin series 6 of buffy on DVD round a mates n saw michelle branch on 1 performin a live set on there n i was gobsmacked at th "raw talent" she had... shes pretty good!

I fink avril lavigne is in "denial" because she wants to be all these things but unfortunately just can't be them!

C Shutt
01-13-2003, 10:13 AM
I have one question. What's the "t" in "Sk8tr Boi" for? Shouldn't the "8" have that covered?

01-13-2003, 10:21 AM
umm yeah probs a typo...

http://www.crnw46307.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk - listen 2 da avril track on there

01-13-2003, 11:55 AM
Originally posted by Faith
I was watchin series 6 of buffy on DVD round a mates n saw michelle branch on 1 performin a live set on there n i was gobsmacked at th "raw talent" she had... shes pretty good!

Yeah I saw that, the track's Goodbye To You, was great on Buffy

01-13-2003, 12:24 PM
I agree that Avril sucks, but that was rather excessive.
Oh, and good god, that version of Chop Suey was god-awful. She didn't even know the words(!), and she got someone else to go "You wanted to!". Good gravy...

01-13-2003, 12:38 PM
dont forget she giggled whilst singing.
plus her voice sounded terrible..singer my arse

and where there was suposed to be growling she just screamed like an idiot....

01-13-2003, 12:55 PM
Right. Avril Lavigne. My little brother (13) loves her, so does my friend little brother (14 or so).


I listened to her album, it's nothing special. Happy pop that wants to be punk, without any real contents...

I look at her video and I see a way too young girly, that desperatly tries to be a cool punker, but is a classic example of a one-hit wonder. Alright, two hits in het case, but do you see her still performing in 5 years? I don't.

I look at an interview. She disses britney Spears for being slutty. Is she much better? She's not slutty, butshe tries to be the complete opposite of slutty. Wich she isn't.

The problem with Avril is that she's 'made'. The record companies aren't stupid. They see that 'we', the audience, start to dislike pop-idols like Britney, so they come up with the opposite. The people like punk? They can get it! Only thing you need is one good looking female songwriter/star-wannabe (there are thousands), make her a career, and voila! You got something popular.

The people that like music see right through this act, but if you're not so good at having a real opinion on music, you might buy it.

Let's end this with a music-tip: Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage
Weird song, very weird video with a real UGLY lady in it...but whenever I see/hear it my day is good...

01-13-2003, 01:13 PM
I think you pretty much covered everything about her. I remember when I first saw Avril Lavigne. The first thing that came to mind was pop, and not punk. She is a total poser, no doubt about it. When people told me she did punk music, I was trying to figure out when that happened, since every song I had heard by her wasn't even close to punk. I myself stopped watching MTV after the POP invasion that began in 1998 and reached its peak in 1999, then slowly came tumbling down to a certain mid level point in 2002. MTV is no longer the music television it once was. Sad to say it, but VH1 shows better stuff than they do now.

01-13-2003, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by murta
I'm just glad I'm educated enough to see past MTV and radio and crap and find out about the real bands out there

Amen Brotha! I totally love goin to the smaller "more intimate" places and watching bands...usually the no name punk rockers (except for the warped tour, thats just festival of punk). But finding your own bands before they make it huge, or just finding a small band ya love is so much more enjoyable to me. Plus their shows are so much cheaper...and you can usually chill w/ them.

01-13-2003, 05:55 PM
Avril copied look the punk tie look*insert abusive words* I was wearin a tie even before she was releasing stuff and she thinks shes origional? BLEAH. And *MY* tie was better it was pink white and black.

Oh and don't forget Britney wore a tie in the Baby One More Time video. Oh and Kylie wore a tie in the Shocked video which was 1991. BUT... Angus Young from ACDC was wearin a tie waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before anyone else. So who's the real trend setter miss Avril? :mad:

01-13-2003, 06:04 PM
Well, avril is kind of the trend setter....sure they wore ties way before her, power to them...ties rock, I love my popcorn tie. But it became a "trend" when she started...i've never seen so many people sporting ties since she's arrived. But yes, it was around before her....now I refer to anyone sporting ties like her as avril, and they take it as an insult, rightfully so! Were they wearing ties before avril? I think not.....You were, great! Ties rock...sad to say the tie wearing fad is now being advertised by miss Avril. I talk in circles...

01-13-2003, 06:09 PM
but guys --- the press release SAID she was punk......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhh, i crack myself up. if she wants punk, she should take a little look at the distillers, or perhaps the devotchkas?

01-13-2003, 06:17 PM
If I wanna wear a tie then I damn well do- I don't need some skanky little tryhard to sit there telling people to wear a tie coz it's punk. Actually when I wore that tie, my friend said I looked like an adorable lil punk which I didn't think I did but he said I looked adorable. Adorable and punk don't go in the same sentance :p

01-13-2003, 10:13 PM
Originally posted by Natty
adorable and punk don't go in the same sentance :p

unless its "you were an adorable young man, how could you turn to be so ...... PUNK?"

words of my mother

01-13-2003, 10:28 PM
It sounds like Avril was just being silly* with that cover.

*silly as in "just having fun". Not trying to amuse.

01-13-2003, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by Guybrush122
unless its "you were an adorable young man, how could you turn to be so ...... PUNK?"

words of my mother

ROFL well ok then you win- your mother sounds smart :p

01-13-2003, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by Natty
ROFL well ok then you win- your mother sounds smart :p

smart and dumb --- somewhere in her head she gets the crazy idea im the next Klaus Barbie