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Pad
01-16-2003, 11:50 AM
Adapted from an idea by Redwing (http://www.lucasforums.com/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=5873) at Aresen (http://www.lucasforums.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=248) and Wacky Baccy (http://www.echonetwork.net/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=4) at EB (http://www.echonetwork.net)



The rules are simple: you must answer all main questions wrongly.

Answers should be funny or [mis-]informative in some way or another. If you answer correctly, you get a negative point. There may be a bonus question with some main questions that will need to be answered correctly. First person to answer it gets 2 points, everyone else---none! :D (For reasons obvious, I hope :))




So the rules are:

Points

1st wrong answer: 1-5 points, depending on quality of answer
...
...
10th wrong answer: 1-5 points, depending on quality of answer

...You get the point :)

Right answer: -1

Only the first ten answers will be accepted and awarded points, otherwise i'd be here for all eternity :D

Awards
Every round ill donate my recieved credits to the most orginal/best answer.


I hope more of you are happy with this way of doing things than previously... Enjoy :)


1st Question:

What is a mace windu´s middle name?

Rogue15
01-16-2003, 11:54 AM
Party-Crasher

Havoc Stryphe
01-16-2003, 11:57 AM
You mean it's not Bad-ass? :p

Boba Rhett
01-16-2003, 01:04 PM
Cleatus

Katarn07
01-16-2003, 01:18 PM
Purple-sabered Pansy

leXX
01-16-2003, 01:45 PM
Fred

Tie Guy
01-16-2003, 02:12 PM
Mace second baddest man in the universe Windu.

Wraith 8
01-16-2003, 05:05 PM
his name was:
Mace, the i will kick your @$$. windu

wassup
01-17-2003, 02:03 AM
Mace "Party-Pooper" Windu

or

Mace "| \/\/||_|_ ()\/\/|\| _|()() /\55" Windu

BCanr2d2
01-17-2003, 02:21 AM
I am pretty sure it was Shaft.........

Devil Doll
01-17-2003, 11:52 AM
I´m sure his middle name is Mace I don´t have anything to do, just to show I´m the only one with a purple saber Windu

:D

Hannibal
01-17-2003, 12:05 PM
Marian

Pad
01-17-2003, 01:18 PM
as i will generous today ill even give the11th answer a score :D

answers:what is mace windu´s second name?
rogue15 - party-crasher
Havoc Stryphe - Bad-ass
Boba Rhett - Cleatus
Katarn07 - Purple-sabered Pansy
leXX - Fred
Tie Guy - second baddest man in the universe
Wraith 8 - the i will kick your @$$.
wassup - Party-Pooper
BCanr2d2 - Shaft
Devil Doll - I don´t have anything to do, just to show I´m the only one with a purple saber
Hannibal - Marian

Points
5 points
Boba Rhett
Katarn07

4 points
rogue15
leXX
wassup
BCanr2d2
Devil Doll
Hannibal

3 points
Havoc Stryphe
Tie Guy
Wraith 8


while im in the process of givin a score to evryone, im posting the new question:

What´s an EWOK?

Tie Guy
01-17-2003, 02:09 PM
Among the most powerful heavy repeating blasters in the Imperial arsenal, the BlasTech E-Wok has proved highly effective against vehicles and infantry units alike. The E-Wok has an optimum range of two-hundred meters with a maximum range of of half a kilometer and offers enough firepower to punch through a snowpeeders's armor plating.

Katarn07
01-17-2003, 02:11 PM
Some gadget for that internet deely

leXX
01-17-2003, 02:13 PM
Not many ppl know this but Ewoks are in fact Dwarf Wookies!

Sam
01-17-2003, 02:48 PM
lawn nomes

Havoc Stryphe
01-17-2003, 02:55 PM
Ewoks were what Teddy Roxspin, the care bears, Kwicky Koala and Winnie the pooh originated from. An ancient race of sentient space bears that, no matter what, when, or where, always seem cheesy and overly "cute", but always manage to come out on top. :p

BCanr2d2
01-17-2003, 07:00 PM
Electronic
Word
Over
Killer

EWOK, otherwise known as a spammer really. I have used it many times to tell people that they are an Ewok, but they don't listen to me at all.

Boba Rhett
01-17-2003, 07:39 PM
It's a tasty tasty thing. Try them with BBQ souce.

teutonicknight
01-17-2003, 07:43 PM
Ewoks are geneticly muntaited mole rats. :) They were concieved by some lonely Wookies who wanted nice furry pet.

Bob Gnarly
01-17-2003, 07:47 PM
Ewoks...hmmmmmm arent they....hmmmmmmm...there the.......





oh ok i got it, there little people dreesed in fur :D

teutonicknight
01-17-2003, 07:53 PM
Originally posted by Boss
Ewoks...hmmmmmm arent they....hmmmmmmm...there the.......





oh ok i got it, there little people dreesed in fur :D

Luke voice: No, no , that can't be true! Thats impossible!

BCanr2d2
01-17-2003, 11:58 PM
Originally posted by Boss
Ewoks...hmmmmmm arent they....hmmmmmmm...there the.......





oh ok i got it, there little people dreesed in fur :D

So, you mean that they are greek children?!!

Pad
01-18-2003, 11:22 AM
GREAT :D

points this round:
5points
Tie Guy
BCanr2d2

4points
Havoc Stryphe

3points
Katarn07
leXX
$am
Boba Rhett
teutonicknight
Boss


Total points:
1. BCanr2d2 9 points

2. Boba Rhett 8 points
= Katarn07
= Tie Guy

3. Havoc Stryphe 7 points
= leXX

4. Hannibal 4 points
= Devil Doll
= rogue15
= wassup

5. Boss 3 points
= $am
= teutonicknight
= Wraith 8


new question:
How did the jedi purge happen?
(u know, almost all jedi were killed, how did that happen?)

Bob Gnarly
01-18-2003, 11:24 AM
there where all discusing why dooku ran away from yoda and every got outta hand and...

Katarn07
01-18-2003, 11:32 AM
After a few to many Corellian Ales on Kamino where they were picking up a new clone order, they had trouble watching their steps near the edges of the landing platforms...

Sam
01-18-2003, 11:34 AM
Anakin pressed the self destruct button insted of the elevator button and blew up the jedi academy.

Tie Guy
01-18-2003, 12:01 PM
I tried to tell him not to do it, but that little Ewok was out of control! Its not my fault!!!

ckcsaber
01-18-2003, 12:52 PM
There was a party at the Jedi Temple, and Anakin, dancing naked on a table with a lampshade on is head, tried juggling with ignited lightsabers, thus wiping out all the Jedi.

teutonicknight
01-18-2003, 01:19 PM
Originally posted by Padanime
new question:
How did the jedi purge happen?
(u know, almost all jedi were killed, how did that happen?)

Jedi at a party:

Mace: "This party's ove-"

*Mace trips on robe* Beheads jedi.

Padawan: "No!!!!!!"

*Padawan runs up and starts hacking at Mace*

*All the Jedi start killing each other*

:lsduel:

Darth Zaius
01-18-2003, 07:30 PM
when count dooku farted himself to death and the jedi council members blew up from indigestion

Devil Doll
01-18-2003, 07:36 PM
because they were drinking a lot in the cantina, they were too drunk and all went to the bathroom and by accident all felt down in the sewels, so, they are still live there.

Jatt13
01-18-2003, 08:33 PM
well, it all started when mace told yoda he was looking more "muppity" than usual...

BCanr2d2
01-19-2003, 02:09 AM
They were members of the Heaven's Gate sect, many years before it hit earth. They didn't actually die, they went to a Galaxy Far, Far Away from their own, and were situated behind the comet Hale-Bopp...

Darth Groovy
01-19-2003, 03:18 AM
(Opening Scene: A suburban house in a boring looking street. Zoom into upstairs window. Serious documentary music. Interior of small room. A bent figure (Michael Palin) huddles over a table, writing. He is surrounded by bits of paper. The camera is situated facing the man as he writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.)
Voice Over : This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes. In a few moments, he win have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.



(Ernest stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile slowly spreads across his face, turning very, very slowly to uncontrolled hysterical laughter... he staggers to his feet and reels across room helpless with mounting mirth and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.)

Voice Over: It was obvious that this joke was lethal... no one could read it and live ...

(Ernest's mother (Eric Idle in drag) enters. She sees him dead, she gives a little cry of horror and bends over his body, weeping. Brokenly she notices thepiece of paper in his hand and picks it up and reads it between her sobs. Immediately she breaks out into hysterical laughter, leaps three feet into the air, and falls down dead without more ado. Cut to news type shot of commentator standing in front of the house.)

Commentator: This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden ...violent ... comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.

Inspector: I shall enter the house and attempt to remove the joke.



(About now an upstairs window in the house is flung open and a doctor, rears his head out, hysterical with laughter, and dies hanging over the window sill. The commentator and the inspector look up and then continue as if they are used to such sights.)

Inspector: I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records, and also by the chanting of laments by the men of Q Division ... (Inspector points to a grouo of dour looking policemen standing nearby) The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke. He gives a signal. The group of policemen start groaning and chanting biblical laments. The Dead March is heard. The inspector squares his shoulders and bravely starts walking into the house.

Commentator: There goes a brave man. Whether he comes out alive or not, this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous and gallant acts in police history.

(The inspector suddenly appears at the door, helpless with laughter, holding the joke aloft. He collapses and dies. Cut to film of army vans driving along dark roads.)

Voice Over: It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. Under top security, the joke washurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War.

(Cut to door at Ham House: Soldier on guard comes to attention as dispatch rider hurries in carrying armoured box. (Notice on door: 'Conference. No Admittance'.) Dispatch nider rushes in. A door opens for him and closes behind him. We hear a mighty roar of laughter... . series of doomphs as the commanders hit the floor or table. Soldier outside does not move a muscle.)

(Cut to a pillbox on the Salisbury Plain. Track in to slit to see moustachioed top brass peering anxiously out.)

Voice Over: Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.

(Cut to shot looking out of slit in pillbox. Camera zooms through slit to distance where a solitary figure is standing on the windswept plain. He is a bespectacled, weedy lance-corporal (Terry Jones) looking cold and miserable. Pan across to fifty yards away where two helmeted soldiers are at their positions beside a blackboard on an easel covered with a cloth.



Cut in to corporal's face- registening complete lack of comprehension as well as stupidily. Man on top of pillbox waves flag. The soldiers reveal the joke to the corporal. He peers at it, thinks about its meaning, s******s, and dies. Two watching generals are very impressed.)

Generals: Fantastic.

Cut to a Colonel talking to camera.

Colonel: All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a Jedi version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital· But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Jedi could.

(Cut to a trench in the Ardennes· Members of the joke brigade are crouched holding pieces of paper with the joke on them.)

Voice Over: So, on July 8th, I944, the joke was first told to the enemy in the courtyards of Coruscant...

Commanding NCO: Tell the ... joke.

Joke Brigade: (together) Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

(Pan out of the British trench across war-torn landscape and come to rest where presumably the Jedi trench is. There is a pause and then a group of Jedi rear up in hysterics.)

Voice Over: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke ...Cut to a film of Chamberlain brandishing the 'Peace in our time' bit of paper ... and one which Hider just couldn't match.

Film of Jedi rally. Yoda speaks; subtitles are superimposed.




SUBTITLE: 'MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE'
A young soldier responds:
SUBTITLE: HOW DOES HE SMELL?
Hitler speaks:
SUBTITLE: AWFUL'
Voice Over: In action it was deadly.

(Cut to a small squad with rifles making their way through forest. Suddenly one of them sees something and gives signal at which they all dive for cover. From the cover of a tree he reads out joke.)

Corporal: Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

(Sniper falls laughing out of tree.)

Joke Brigade: (charging) Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.



(They chant the joke. Jedi are put to fight laughing, some dropping to ground.)

Voice Over: The Jedi casualties were appalling.

Boba Rhett
01-19-2003, 03:32 AM
First they started out with a nice herbal cleansing to rejuvinate not only their bodies but the souls as well. They wrapped up the day with some nice aromatherapy and ear candling.

BCanr2d2
01-19-2003, 06:56 AM
Sounds like Darth Groovy has just looked over his Monty Python videos again........!!!

Pad
01-19-2003, 01:04 PM
points this round:
5points
Jatt13

4points
Tie Guy
ckcsaber
Darth Groovy

3points
Katarn07
$am
Devil Doll
BCanr2d2
Boba Rhett
teutonicknight
Chase Windu

2points
Boss
Darth Zaius




Total points:
1. BCan2 12 points
= Tie Guy

2. Boba Rhett 11 points
= Katarn07

3. Havoc Stryphe 7 points
= leXX 0
= Devil Doll 7

4. $am 6 points

5. Boss 5 points
= teutonicknight
= Jatt13

6. Hannibal 4 points
= rogue15
= wassup
= ckcsaber
= Darth Groovy

7. Wraith 8 3 points
= Chase Windu

8. Darth Zaius 2 points

next question:
what is this object (http://www.starwars.com/episode-i/snapshot/1999/12/snapshot19991221.html) used for?

Katarn07
01-19-2003, 01:10 PM
It is a device used to smoke illegal narcotics, such as spice and the such.

*** Aren't you posting the scores anymore?

Tie Guy
01-19-2003, 02:26 PM
Well, see, if you hold one of those metal grips and throw it like you're throwing an ugmulian blob ball then it will fly out and turn around and come back.

Darth Homer
01-19-2003, 03:43 PM
it's something that Jar-Jar uses whan he's feeling a little lonely....

ZBomber
01-19-2003, 03:43 PM
Isn't it obious? Its a Gungan Condom. :D

Boba Rhett
01-19-2003, 03:45 PM
It's an efficient yet very uncomfortable two person seat that is having a test run in all of the trendiest places on Coruscant.

Sam
01-19-2003, 08:01 PM
Its a drunkometer it tells how drunk you are.

:quesyel:

Katarn07
01-19-2003, 09:11 PM
Originally posted by Chase Windu
It's a futuristic bong.

Isn't that what I said? Not in the exact same words...

Bob Gnarly
01-19-2003, 09:17 PM
its the new and improved excersise machine:
Now you to can look like a jedi and feal like one to ;)

teutonicknight
01-19-2003, 09:39 PM
It's the midget ewoks land speeder :D

Darth Zaius
01-19-2003, 11:33 PM
A wookie and gungan castrating device

BCanr2d2
01-20-2003, 05:22 AM
A wine bottle opener from Kamino. It works more like what we would call a shoe horn to get the corks out....

FunClown
01-20-2003, 08:21 AM
Its the hilt of a Jedi-matic double lightsaber.

You can adjust the facing of the blades.

Lord Glorfindel
01-20-2003, 11:07 AM
An automatic-miniture-supercharged-toilet seat

Pad
01-20-2003, 11:37 AM
Points this round:

5 points
Boss

4 points
Darth Homer
ZBomber
teutonicknight
$am

3 points
Boba Rhett
BCanr2d2
FunClown
Katarn07
Tie Guy

2 points
Chase Windu
Darth Zaius
Lord Glorfindel


Total points:
1. BCanr2d2 15 points
= Tie Guy

2. Boba Rhett 14 points
= Katarn07

3. $am 10 points
= Boss

4. teutonicknight 9 points

5. Havoc Stryphe 7 points
= leXX
= Devil Doll

6. Jatt13 5 points
= Chase Windu

6. Hannibal 4 points
= rogue15
= wassup
= ckcsaber
= Darth Groovy
= Darth Zaius
= Darth Homer
= ZBomber

7. Wraith 8 3 points
= FunClown

8. Lord Glorfindel 2 points

next question:
what species is Poggle the Lesser?
(his image) (http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/pogglethelesser/img/movie_bg.jpg)

Boba Rhett
01-20-2003, 12:07 PM
He is of the Obi-Gyns.

*giggle*

Tie Guy
01-20-2003, 12:10 PM
If a Noghri and an Ent had a child......

Lord Glorfindel
01-20-2003, 01:35 PM
A mixture of a Gran and a Talarion (Watto's species)

Katarn07
01-20-2003, 01:42 PM
Jar Jar got a bit to frisky with the Praying Mantis like bugs of Naboo...

Darth Zaius
01-20-2003, 02:15 PM
he is a klingon

Bob Gnarly
01-20-2003, 03:35 PM
Poggle the Lesser?

no thats just kermit in ten years with sea weed stuck to him :D

teutonicknight
01-20-2003, 07:10 PM
Originally posted by Padanime
next question:
what species is Poggle the Lesser?
(his image) (http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/pogglethelesser/img/movie_bg.jpg)

Poggle the Lesser is the illegitimate child of Kermit the Frog and Jar Jar Binks :D

ZBomber
01-20-2003, 07:18 PM
...I thought his name was Al Gore......

Sam
01-20-2003, 08:28 PM
:xizor:+:chewie: =Poggle the Lesser

Katarn07
01-20-2003, 09:02 PM
Originally posted by Lord Glorfindel
A mixture of a Gran and a Talarion (Watto's species)

It's Toydarian. Close enough. Talarion sounds Trek-like, doesn't it?

boinga1
01-20-2003, 09:38 PM
he's like the grinch, but he's old so he has a long beard

FunClown
01-21-2003, 02:24 AM
Looks like something that came out of Jabba last I checked.

Boba Rhett
01-21-2003, 02:28 AM
Originally posted by FunClown
Looks like something that came out of Jabba last I checked.

Why oh why would you have checked before? :indif:

BCanr2d2
01-21-2003, 06:02 AM
Squidius Uglius we would call it, or in SW speak Mesa Ugli.

Ecks_Gecar
01-21-2003, 07:04 AM
BlasTech E-Wok has proved highly effective against vehicles and infantry units alike. The E-Wok has an optimum range of two-


I think you mean the BlasTech E-WEB Heavy Repeating Blaster used by Imperial Soldiers.

If you would like to see an E-WEB Watch Empire Strikes Back.When the Falcon is launching from an Echo Base Hangar the big gun the Imperial Snowtroopers are trying to set up is an E-WEB

BCanr2d2
01-21-2003, 07:47 AM
Ecks, the idea of this thread is to be wrong, and be the most imaginative and convincing at being wrong.....

The truth has no place in this thread!

Boba Rhett
01-21-2003, 07:54 AM
Lol. Yeah you kinda totally missed the point, Ecks. :D

Havoc Stryphe
01-21-2003, 08:16 AM
Originally posted by Padanime
next question:
what species is Poggle the Lesser?
(his image) (http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/pogglethelesser/img/movie_bg.jpg)

It's actually Jimminy Cricket! He didn't age gracefully and unfortunately he let all that wisdom and power go straight to his head!

Ecks_Gecar
01-21-2003, 03:42 PM
sorry too many posts to read them all

Darth Homer
01-21-2003, 04:08 PM
Poggle the Lesser is actually Human...just got hit with the ugly-stick a few too many times...

Jatt13
01-21-2003, 07:22 PM
he's gotta be a mutated cockroach of some sort.

FunClown
01-22-2003, 12:15 AM
Why oh why would you have checked before?

Wasn't it on one of the special editions? :D

Darth Groovy
01-22-2003, 01:13 AM
He's Puerto Rican. :)

Pad
01-22-2003, 05:00 PM
sorry i took me so long but im in my exams atm so ;)

ill put up points later when i have some more time.
but just to keep u guys busy i give u the next question:

what is goin on in this scene (http://www.tsr.org/StarWars/characters/bobafett/images/boba-vad.jpg)?

Boba Rhett
01-22-2003, 05:18 PM
Vader: And remember Fett. The Tuesday Book club has moved the meeting to Thursday next week. Make sure you've read chapters 5 through 7 in The Wind and the Willows.

Lando: Now hold on Vader. You know I can't make it to a Thursday meeting. This wasn't part of the deal! I demand you change it back.

*Vader and Fett look at each other*

Fett: No decentigrations aye?

Vader: Well... maybe just this once. *wink*

ZBomber
01-22-2003, 05:25 PM
Fett - Heh, yeh, back in my young days, there was this big Clone War. Yeh, then there was this wussie Jedi, his name was Anakin Skywalker.

Vader - Heh heh.... yeh.......

Vader - *force choke*

Tie Guy
01-22-2003, 05:44 PM
Welcome back to the pulse-pumping final match in the 13th annual Bespin staring competion, hosted by Lando Calrissian. Vader is five-time defending champion, but has he finally met his match in the newcomer Boba Fett? Stay tuned to find out.....

Jatt13
01-22-2003, 06:07 PM
tie guy, you stole my answer!! :mad:

but that's ok. :D

i would've added this, though -

Lando: Oooooo, a staring contest! I got winner!

but for my real answer:

Fett: Who you callin' scruffy lookin'?


not very good, but the only thing i could think of at the moment. :rolleyes:

Devil Doll
01-22-2003, 06:58 PM
[Vader voice]
"You little Bastard! I told you to not play with your guns, you have killed all your classmates because of your irresponsability! there will not be anything for you this night at dinner!"
[/Vader Voice]


"but it was too funny to see how all the boys and girls dissapear"



"sir, i´m sorry to inform that your son will be in special classes to become passive now"


[Vader Voice]
" that´s enough!, you will not go out to play for a month!!!"
[/vader voice]

Darth Zaius
01-22-2003, 08:02 PM
Darth Vader: you yes you, Jango

Boba Fett: im not jango he was my father who sadly died in the clone wars

Darth Vader: no, your jango and I thought mace destroyed you

Boba Fett: im telling you im not jango

Darth Vader: If mace didn`t kill you, then I shall!!

Boba Fett: but..

Darth Vader: silence peon *force chockes boba to death*

Lando: umm that was really Boba Fett sire

Darth Vader: what you want some of me Mace?!?!?!

Lando: umm no sir

Darth Vader: Then quiet down and meet me here in one hour for my daily bath

Lando: (sighs) again...

Darth Vader: yes again, and stop complainingabout it , because it is bad for your health

teutonicknight
01-22-2003, 08:07 PM
Boba: Hey Darth! I was wondering, where do you get your capes?

Darth: Huh?

Boba: Yeah, I want a new cape! My green one isn't cutting it for me.

Darth Oh, I get them at Capes-r-us

Lando: Really? Thats where I get mine! Oh, I agree with you Fett, green and white is a fashion no-no!

:)

Lord Glorfindel
01-22-2003, 08:40 PM
Vader: you both owe me 500 credits, cause my son and his crew came here.

Lando: You said "My son and his crew will come to cloud city" I don't see your son anywhere, so you owe us each 500 credits.

Vader: *jedi mind tricks Lando* I don't owe u anything

Lando: I am not weak minded u fool

Vader: *Jedi mind tricks Boba* I don't owe u anything.

Boba: U do this every time! U try to mind trick us and then the next thing that will happen is you start to cry, and then we have to give u the money just to keep u quiet, it won't work this time, u owe us 500 credits-"

Cloud City Intercom: Attention Lord Vader, Attention Lord Vader, Luke Skywalker has just arrived

Vader: *Starts doing a victory dance in front of Lando and Boba*

Lando and Bobba: DARN!!! No fair your a Jedi *Lando and Boba pull out blasters and aim them at Vader*

Vader: Lets just forget about our little bet shall we?

boinga1
01-22-2003, 08:40 PM
Lando: (to self) man, that's a nice suit of armor that darth guy's got...wonder how much he'd charge for it?
Fett: Darth, why do you wear your belt so high? It's, like, at my chest!
Vader: Individual fashion is protected by the foundations of the New Order! I'm trying to start a trend anyways...
Lando: Really? How much for a suit like that?
Vader: There are several steps that must be undergone to wear one...
Lando: Like...?
Vader: First, your lungs must be crushed (uses force to crush Lando's lungs)....

Darth Groovy
01-22-2003, 09:57 PM
Vader: "Is he looking at me now?"

Fett: "Definitely."

Vader: "He's cute isn't he!"

Fett: "Well, he's very clean..."

Vader: "I bet he thinks i'm a dork. Must be this stupid helmet.."

Fett: "Hate to think of what he thinks of me then. At least your helmet is big black and shiney. What's your secret?"

Vader: "I use Turtle Wax!"

Fett: "Ahh.... Turtle Wax...."

Jed
01-22-2003, 10:05 PM
Vader: Okay, who's getting take out?

Lando: I'm gonna hop out to Taco Bell and get something...anyone wanna come?

Fett: I'll stay here, I haven't been allowed there since that....unpleasantness.

Vader: Get me a chalupa.....

*insert mechanical drooling noise*

:D

FunClown
01-23-2003, 05:19 AM
This photo was taken at a Star Wars convention where Boba Fett is asking Darth Vader how he keeps his helmet so shiny. Vader then tells him that all he does is spray a little but not too much Windex to get the shine right out. Meanwhile the guy in the background wearing white is pretending not to listen but later is found heading to the shops and ordering some of that Windex.

The guy standing in the middle is staring at the guy in the black suit jealously thinking that if only he had his advice earlier he could have been wearing a costume like that instead of having to go in his Lando outfit which he had received as a gift off his aunty celebrating his seventeenth birthday twenty-four years ago to the day.

Havoc Stryphe
01-23-2003, 08:22 AM
VADER: "I told you, We'll compensate you if he's harmed!"

FETT: "Yeah, but we both know that's a lie!"

VADER: "Look, I don't know why I put up with this. You're not even half the Bounty Hunter your father was!"

STORMTROOPER: "Actually, you could say he's heads and shoulders above his father!"

FETT: "You take that back! Or I'll-"

VADER: "You'll what? Are you forgetting who I am and what I could do to you? I swear, you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached!"

STORMTROOPER: "Good one sir!"

FETT: "Stop it! Stop it I say! Stop it or-"

STORMTROOPER: "Or what? Heads will roll?"

FETT: "I know what you're trying to do!"

VADER: "You do? Well, shucks, someone should move genius boy, here, to the head of the class!"

LANDO: "Fellas, fellas, can't we just settle this over a couple nice tall glasses of COLT 45? It goes down smooth, and every pour always has a nice thick head * everyone giggles* Sorry, couldn't resist.

FETT: *ignores eveyone* "Just put Solo in my cargo hold when you're done, I'm outta here!"

LANDO: "Where you heading?" *more giggles*

COMMANDER: "Sir, Skywalker has entered cloud city!"

VADER: "Excellent! See to it, that he finds his way here!"

COMMANDER: "Yes sir!"

VADER: *Calls down the hallway* "Fett!"

FETT: [turns around exasperated] "What now?"

VADER: "What? I was just going to tell you Skywalker is here. Just a friendly Heads up!

*Stormtrooper, Lando and Vader fall to the floor laughing while Boba Fett storms away*

LANDO: "You know for a Sith Lord, you're very witty"

VADER: "We have to be. It makes up for our lack of personality and dialogue."

Darth_Rive
01-23-2003, 10:21 AM
FETT: I'm sorry, darling, I just can't take all this any more. I'm leaving you.

VADER: *sobbing* But Boba, how can you be so heartless? Think about the children!

FETT: I'm sorry darling, there's nothing that you can say that will change my mind.

*VADER bursts into uncontrollable crying. A few sparks are seen from his helmet's visor.*

LANDO: Boba, have you really thought this through properly? I mean, all your kids...

FETT: Listen, Lando, I'm sure that Darthy can take care of all seven of them on... his...

*FETT and LANDO both stop and notice VADER has stopped srying and passes glances between the two of them.*

VADER: Eight! We have eight children, remember? Oh my god, he doesn't even remember them all! *continues sobbing loudly*

FETT: But I thought we weren't counting... you know... Doola.

VADER: (mortified) Even if we did think she looked a little... funny... and had to keep her in the trash compactor on the Death Star, that doesn't mean you can disgrace her memory like that! You cruel, heartless bastard!

Etc etc.... :D

Katarn07
01-23-2003, 03:03 PM
Darn it! I missed a question. NAd this one was really good. To similar to the above ones, so I won't bother posting (past 10 anyways)

Darth Homer
01-23-2003, 03:38 PM
I know mine won't count, but I just gotta

Stormtrooper: OK! Don't MOVE!!

Vader: I love you...

Fett: I know...

*vader moves out of the way & Boba Blasts the 2 stormies*

Ecks_Gecar
01-23-2003, 06:58 PM
Vader: I see you have not brushed your teeth today lando

Lando: shut up fool or I'll put a cap in yo @$$

Vader: you should know my a-ness is made of the purest Coreillian steel

Lando: I no its so shiny I can see myself in it

*Vader and boba glance at each other*

Boba: so.....is it you no attached...........

Vader: excuse me?

Boba: your you no what-is

Vader: attached to my suit?

Boba: ummm yes

Vader: no no its an implant

*lando looks like he is gonna die of laughter*

Boba: really? I always thought it was attached

Vader: can some1 please change the subject!

Boba: what?! I'm serious you look like a trash can for pete's sake

Vader: really? I always though I looked like a clothes washer

Boba: no no definitly a trash can

Lando: ok u fools change the subject or i'll put caps in yo @$$s

Boba: don't say ass

Lando: HEY U SAID IT WITH OUT USING " @$$ " !

Vader: i'm gonna go tell mama boba

Boba: its "mama fett"

Vader: sure it is.............

BCanr2d2
01-24-2003, 02:06 AM
It's the Annual Empire Helmet Convention. Vader and Fett are actually trying to work out how someone got in wearing a helmet.... Or his helmet somewhere else?!!!

lukeiamyourdad
01-25-2003, 05:12 PM
LANDO-Darth Vader, will you take Boba Fett as your lawfully wedded husband, to cherish him, in wealth or in poverty, etc.

VADER-Yes, I do.

LANDO-And you, Boba Fett, will you take Darth Vader as your lawfully...etc.

BOBA-Yes I do.

LANDO-I now proclaim you, Husband and husband.

Darth Groovy
01-26-2003, 11:34 PM
*sighs* This has gone on long enough.... Somebody wake up Padanime.

Katarn07
01-30-2003, 08:09 PM
I PMed Padanime....

Darth_Rive
01-30-2003, 11:38 PM
Does anyone else think that we should just turn this into a caption competition, looking at the sheer number of replies to the last question?

lukeiamyourdad
01-31-2003, 09:34 PM
Nah tht's more then enough replies.....

Katarn07
02-17-2003, 03:01 PM
I am the new Game Master. Padianime said I could. I won't donate points, if we ever did that...

Here is the new question.

Q: What exactly is a Gaderffii Stick?

Hekx
02-17-2003, 04:20 PM
A Gaderffii Stick works wonders as a back scratcher. ;)

nova_wolf
02-17-2003, 04:24 PM
Recently discovered in the personal arms cache of one Colonel Gaderffi ( :D ).

Long rifle fire arm built into what looks like little more than something that has fallen of something from Scrap heap Challenge.

Darth_Rive
02-17-2003, 06:22 PM
:D

SLOW ZOOM IN ON CENTRE OF STAGE.

"[I]Welcome to the Infomercial Channel! I'm Troy McLure. You may remember me from such public information videos as, 'Blasters: Not For Scratching Your Ear Canal With' and 'Is That Really His Ronto's Speeder?', and the multi-platinum-selling record, 'My Lightsaber Won't Come Back!'

"Tonight's latest bargain: the Gaderffi Stick! It's suave, it's sophisticated, it can smash a hole clean through someone's head! Yes, there are no end of uses to this stylish yet practical walking apparatus.

"Are you like Hans Moleman here, all cowardly and afraid to leave the warmth and safety of your retirement home?"

LEANING INTO SHOT:

<Hans Moleman> "Hellooooo!"

"Then fear no more! One of these indispensable devices will not only help you walk stronger, faster, better <cue "Six Million Dollar Man" music>, but it'll also help you defend yourself against ne'er-do-wells and villains!"

CUTS TO: Hans Moleman LOOKING SCARED.

CUT TO: REAR VIEW OF Rainier Wolfcastle WEARING SIMILAR CLOTHES TO Hans Moleman, BEATING UP SEVERAL MUGGERS AND THIEVES WITH A Gaderffi Stick

CUT TO: Hans Moleman WITH A BIG RELIEVED SMILE.

<Hans Moleman> "Phew!"

CUT TO: Troy McLure WITH A GADERFFI STICK OVER ONE SHOULDER, STANDING WITH ONE FOOT ON AN UNCONSCIOUS MUGGER.

"You too can feel the safety again outdoors, and enjoy beating up crooks at the same time! Until next time!"

:p

nova_wolf
02-18-2003, 04:02 AM
WOW - Rive, thats rocks!

I can't wait to see someone try and best that!

Darth_Rive
02-19-2003, 10:04 AM
*runs in from the hidden side door, takes a bow, ignites a double-ended saber, gives it a twirl, and runs off stage...*

Darth Homer
02-20-2003, 10:02 AM
It's a device used to....no....it's for....ahh......dang it, Rive! why ya gotta go and do that? Now all of my answers are lame in comparison!

*pulls out own double saber, ignites it & runs after Rive*


(from off-stage somewhere)
OW!


HEY!!



QUIT THAT!!!





*Homer comes running out of the back, two pieces of his saber in hand, and Darth Rive running after him w/ saber ready for a kill*

I SAID I WAS KIDDING!!!

*turns to run off again, but trips on a misplaced gaderffii stick*

NOOOOO!!!

Havoc Stryphe
02-20-2003, 10:09 AM
it's a short lived gig as the Gustapo's pet giraffe?

*Shouted from off screen*
"He said stick not shtick, you moron!"


Oh, nevermind then.

*runs away*

Darth_Rive
02-20-2003, 12:50 PM
Somewhere off to the right, Darth_Rive and Darth Homer are battling it out with their double-ended sabers, when they stop and hear Havoc Stryphe's terrible gag. They both stop fighting, look at each other, then both cover their faces at the god-awful joke, and chase after Havoc Stryphe with their sabers ignited - a much more worthy target after that terrible effort at a joke.... :D

Havoc Stryphe
02-20-2003, 12:57 PM
Havoc continues to run, with Homer and Rive at his back. Becoming winded, Havoc stops and turns to face his opponents.

"Wow, tough crowd!"

Just then Homer and Rive reach striking distance, and the last thing you hear from Havoc above the hum of lightsabers is, "I get no regard. No regard, I tell ya!"

:D

Darth_Rive
02-20-2003, 01:01 PM
"Damn straight," Darth_Rive tells him. "Look where you are, for goodness sake. Gotta be careful with those gags when every bugger's got a lightsaber round here...."

Katarn07
02-20-2003, 05:54 PM
Hey now, put the weapns down! Continue that kinda wanton death and destruction in the bar fite in this very forum...

Darth_Rive's, in pretty much everyone's mind, was best, so I'll post a new question.

Q: What is an Ugnaught?

Tie Guy
02-20-2003, 06:38 PM
They are those little metal things that you NEVER FIND THE RIGHT SREWDRIVER FOR!!!

I hate those things...

Darth_Rive
02-20-2003, 07:06 PM
Ugnauts are the actual products of the darker, seedier side of Kermit & Miss Piggy's relationship....

HA! Get THAT mental image out of your head if you can! :p

lukeiamyourdad
02-20-2003, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by Darth_Rive
Ugnauts are the actual products of the darker, seedier side of Kermit & Miss Piggy's relationship....

HA! Get THAT mental image out of your head if you can! :p

*shudder*


An Ugnaught is an naughty little ugly gnome cousin to the Ewok.

Sam
02-20-2003, 08:00 PM
they are futuristic bubblegum.

nova_wolf
02-21-2003, 04:18 AM
Ugnaught:

Hi-tech piece of equipment that is a vaguely similar concept to the droid detectot in bars.

Clubs use Ugnaughts, the coloquial name for the Ugly Detector, to ensure that only the finer looking members of any species is allowed in, or if necessary, a race dissallowed entirely.

Called Ugnaught as it is deisgned to reduce the number of ugly patrons to nought.

Darth Homer
02-21-2003, 04:00 PM
A Ugnaught is a small furry rodent-like creature that makes it's home in and around large cities & it feeds exclusively on tabloid newspapers.

Hekx
02-21-2003, 08:39 PM
An Ugnaught is a Russian floor rug, made from only the finest tree squirrels. :)

swphreak
02-21-2003, 10:04 PM
It discribes Howard Stern's Buttoks

=(BoD)= M.D.B.
05-07-2003, 09:29 AM
Its a dwarf that stormtroopers use as gas bombs cuz this small morons love beans.

Dante Alastor
06-08-2003, 05:51 AM
ughnaught: a small fury annoying as hell creature that likes to piss off everyone and play "monkey in the middle" with each other using robotic parts