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Darth Eggplant
01-20-2003, 03:11 PM
1. He who laughs last,
thinks slowest.

2. Everyone has a photographic memory,
Some just don'thave film.

3. A day without sunshine
is like ... night.

4. On the other hand,
you have different fingers.

5. Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.

6. I just got lost in thought,
It was unfamiliar territory.

7. Seen it all, done it all,
can't remember most of it.

8. Those who live by the sword
get shot by those who don't.

9. I feel like I'm diagonally parked
in a parallel universe.

10. You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted
then used against you.

11. I wonder how much deeper
the ocean would be
without sponges.

12. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

13. Despite the cost of living,
have you noticed
how it remains so popular?

14. Nothing is foolproof
to a sufficiently talented fool.

15. It is hard to understand
how a cemetery can raise
its burial cost and yet
blamed it on the cost of living.

17. The 50-50-90 rule:
Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability
you'll get it wrong.

18. It is said that
if you line up all the cars
in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough
to try and pass them all.

19. You can't have everything,
where would you put it?

20. The Latest survey shows that
3 out of 4 people make up
75% of the world's population.

21. The things that come
to those who wait
are usually the things
left by those
who got there first.

22. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

23. It was recently discovered
that research
causes cancer in rats.

24. Everybody lies,
but it doesn't matter
since nobody listens.

25. I started out with nothing,
and I still have most of it.

26. Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people
appear bright
until you hear them speak.