View Full Version : Manners

02-05-2003, 02:33 PM
I'm concerned with the lack of manners young kids are increasingly displaying these days. No one ever seems to say please or thank you anymore and god forbid anyone should hold a door open.

Who is to blame, the schools, the parents? I for one am very strict with my kids when it comes to manners. If they don't say please and thank you they are pulled up on it immediately. They are the 'magic words'. Something must be done! If we don't have respect for our fellow human beings, we as a species are not going to progress in universe.

02-05-2003, 02:43 PM
I totally agree leXX. I am 16, and have always been brought up by my parents to be as polite and good-mannered as possible. I think it's safe to say that I am a polite person, and am ready to help people if they need it, even if it is a simple door to hold open. Please and thank-you have always been the magic words for me too lol. I've been brought up not to swear by my parents, but I eventually picked it up from my friends.

Well, I think the parents have the main responsibility of setting the example at an early age. If they do not teach their children to be good-mannered, there is no hope for them. Like I said, friends do have an influence as well, mostly in schools. The strong-willed will hold onto their principles though.

02-05-2003, 03:42 PM
I have not been brought up to respect manners, really.

My parents curse more than I do.

Yet I'm still polite. It may be some sort of extraordinary insight, but I've discovered it pays loads to treat people nice. Even those you don't like or respect.

But yes, parents play a large role in educating children about manners these days.

02-05-2003, 03:53 PM
I'm the same as Darky, except my parents do swear a bit :p :D (I have my own views on swearing and related things, but that would just start another debate that I don't feel like having right now :p :))

I'll always stop to hold a door open for someone, especially if they're carrying something awkward or anything like that - I just think it's unkind not to... :(

Reborn Outcast
02-05-2003, 05:26 PM
Well I was raised in the South of the USA in a family that values manners VERY much. I was brought up to say please and thank you to EVERYONE and I always say "yes sir" "no sir" "yes ma'mn" and "no ma'mn". But yes leXx I would have to agree with you but not all teens are like that ya know.

02-05-2003, 05:35 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
Well I was raised in the South of the USA .
Me too. Born in Augusta,Georgia, live in Augusta, Georgia, gonna die in Augusta,Georgia. My parents have always taught me to respect my elders, and treat everyone equal, no matter race/sex/sexual preferance.

However, many kids that are rude listen to Rap music, and violent Rock music. The lyrics contained in these songs are very obnoxious. Such as "Cop Killer" by Cool Macko Daddyo Man, or whatever his name was.

I am not saying that everyone who listens to this is bad, I am just saying most are, because they let words influence them too easily.

El Sitherino
02-05-2003, 05:37 PM
I agree. one day (monday of last week) i was walking down the street and these 8 year old boys just ran up to me and said " give me your money b**ch or ill kick your @$$ you little punk @$$cracker." i was very surprised. :( i know i learned swears at a young age but never said any outside my little friend group. kids these days are growing increasingly arrogant. at school today ( i go to high school) some freshman just ran into me and a girl (one of my gf's friends) and called her a b**ch when he was the one running down the hall not paying attention. this infuriated me and i made some poor choices on how to react.(i kicked him in the chest and bent his arm around his head snapping the forearm.)

02-05-2003, 05:54 PM
Originally posted by InsaneSith
i kicked him in the chest and bent his arm around his head snapping the forearm.


Speachless postless - C'jais

02-05-2003, 05:56 PM
Owww, poor stupid punk ass freshman...
I feel that i'm polite, my parents raised me that way. The majority of the people living in my community have good manners, you're always hearing thank you and excuse me whereever you go :P

02-05-2003, 05:58 PM
alot of the little kids I see (8-13 years) have pretty good manners. they hold doors open, they say please and thank you, and are generally nice. but then there are the little kids who have no manners at all (and boy do they have foul little mouths). they're all like "f*ck this" and "you suck", along with "blow me" and "you're a c*ck sucker" (these are like 10 year old kids I'm talking about). something should be done to these kids parents. I commend you leXX for teaching your kids good manners:thumbsup:. I was raised to have good manners and I think I do (although I do have a tendency to curse... a lot:D . but hey, who doesn't... besides the Pope... and God... and... um... other people... er... gods... uh... yeah)

02-05-2003, 06:10 PM
A lot of people today are that way. Saying please, thank you, and the such has always been second nature to me, and I dont consider myself a serious guy. I'm a crazy, messy, teenager.

I find that people consider it awkward just to say "good afternoon" to someone you pass by walking down the street. I always try and do these small things and see the reactions I get. Some of the time people will completly ignore you, other times they will give you a slight nod of their head, and some times they will say something back (most of the times something positive:rolleyes:)

Its just that our society has caused people to be as ignorant as possible, and thats why there is a lack of manners now a days IMO.

02-05-2003, 07:54 PM
Parents are blame mostly, but also the kids. The parents could do a perfect job raising a kid, but it up to kid to accept and live that way.

Reborn Outcast
02-05-2003, 10:01 PM
Originally posted by ckcsaber
I find that people consider it awkward just to say "good afternoon" to someone you pass by walking down the street.

Well THAT is kind of odd. :) Just be polite to your eldars. Hold the door open for an old lady. Offer to walk an old woman across the street. Things like that can actually save someones life. (I read somewhere that a person changed their mind about committing suicide because a stranger had done something to help them out that day)

But for the matter of teenagers. If you don't teach them to be polite from day 1, then it is VERY hard to break them out of that mold. (This coming from a teenager. :D )

02-06-2003, 07:17 AM
Lexx, do you know how long people have been saying what you are. There is some qutoe by Socrates or Archimedes or one of them that say that youths don't show any respect. When you say these things you know you're getting old. ;)

But we do however, live in a society that glorifies sex and voilence. Guess what, this show has more sex crimes!!! Also, there is some concert being advertised on TV coming to Australia that is called "Murder Inc." I definitely don't like that at all. Don't they realise murders and rapes aren't 'cool' and 'hip'? Thats one of the reasons I don't listen to music. Its all just superficial these days.

02-06-2003, 09:54 AM
Yep, I am getting old ;) but I still want to see common decency taught to kids. I'm not saying it's all kids, I'm saying it's the majority. Most parents don't seem to care enough to teach them manners and I think it is sad, very sad.

Of course, like a few people have said, it's up to the kid at the end of the day whether or not he/she chooses to keep what they have been taught by their parents, but sadly it isn't 'cool' to have manners these days so many take the wrong path.

02-06-2003, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by leXX
but sadly it isn't 'cool' to have manners these days so many take the wrong path.

this is true. when I was around my used-to-be friends, they would never use good manners. in fact they would be even ruder. now they live in cardboard boxes somewhere:rolleyes:

02-06-2003, 06:32 PM
Ok.. agree with that you people are saying. A friendly word does indeed cost nothing. I always try to be as respectfull as i can(or as much as people deserve).

I'm from Sweden and there's some differences between swedish and english naturally. On of those is that we no longer seem to have a good aquivalen of 'sir' or 'm'am'. There are words for it of course but saying them is like saying 'Thank you kind master' instead of 'Thank you sir'. Also people might think you're pompous if you use them.

02-07-2003, 10:11 AM
well, i was rased just like darky (on this topic,:p ) and i will always hold a door for someone, say hello, and thank you and please. i do, however, tend to ignore everything around me on moments, so most people say that my manners are good, but i'm a little ignorant from time to time.

it is actually funny, i'm in the third grade now(dutch system, we begin at 1 on high school) , and when i was in the first grade, offcours we were wierd and always ran around, but the things i see now in the first grade go beyond my beliefs, the children from now are hacking and slamming eich other without any reason, flame everyone they see, and pay apsolutely no respect to the teachers, you won't see a firstgrader open a door for a teacher with a large pile of papers, while every singe person from grade 3 and higher will do that without a doubt. i think that the "bad manners" are a thing of now, mostly in the age group of 8-13, but under the age of 8 is see messed up kiddo's too. but above 13, alot of children couln't be more ignorant, while another major part are as helpfull as they can get.

so my conclusion is that the society is splitting up in two "kinds" of people, the one with manners, and the one without them.

02-07-2003, 10:23 AM
i'm in the third grade now(dutch system, we begin at 1 on high school) LMAO You had me wondering for a second there.

Yeah, manners have taken a definite plunge. Man, you should hear my little sister. She's a total jerk to everyone who doesnt give her what she wants. I mean, my parents, me, anyone! She's rude and obnoxious, and this isnt just speaking from a big brother perspective. She's just a very nasty person to be around.

Although I dont generally like blaming the media and music for things, I have to wonder how much of the rudeness comes from the influence of MTV and such...

02-07-2003, 10:53 AM
Let me just add, it's not just the kids either, it's adults too. Only today a man saw me walking towards the door but it was just too much bloody trouble for him to wait 2 more seconds and keep it open for me. I was pushing a pram too.

Road rage stems from lack of manners too. People cutting you up left right and center, noone bothers to stop to let anyone out, not leaving any space for people to get past down a narrow road etc etc etc. When I stop for people at a zebra crossing, I could count on one hand the amount of people that have ever waved their hand to say thank you.

I'm just so sick of everyones crappy attitude to each other these days. You can't walk down the street without someone giving you a nasty look for no reason at all. Just what is it with people these days?

02-07-2003, 11:06 AM
Originally posted by leXX
When I stop for people at a zebra crossing, I could count on one hand the amount of people that have ever waved their hand to say thank you.

Technically, that's a duty, not something you do just to be nice to pedestrians.

Danes are very bad at this. I could count the amount of car drivers who stopped in front of a zebra crossing, as they're obliged to do, on one hand. No offence intended.

Over here, I practically have to throw myself out on the street to make them realize that I'm crossing...

02-07-2003, 11:27 AM
Oooh, dont get me started on driving. If I get cut off or tailgated by some 17 yr old in a Honda Civic with a giant muffler and huge spoiler one more friggin time, I'm gonna put his head through his subwoofer. AAARGH!

I worked at a Best Buy (electronics chain here in the states) as a computer salesman for about 2 years. In that job, I met more obnoxious, rude, offensive people than I ever cared to. I prided myself on being a nonpressuring, relaxed salesman who never made anyone do anything they didnt want to. But some of these people... I would see them looking around, go over and ask "Hey, need help with anything?" Most would just say "Nah, just lookin around." And that would be that. But some of them would just look at you for a second, then turn back to what they're doing. Oof, just tryin to help, dude...

02-07-2003, 04:00 PM
Originally posted by C'jais
Technically, that's a duty, not something you do just to be nice to pedestrians.

Danes are very bad at this. I could count the amount of car drivers who stopped in front of a zebra crossing, as they're obliged to do, on one hand. No offence intended.

Over here, I practically have to throw myself out on the street to make them realize that I'm crossing...

I'm not saying it isn't the law, I know you must stop. When I'm a pedestrian, I choose to say thank you because of the very reason you mentioned. Most people these days don't bother to stop so by saying thank you, I'm acknowledging the fact that they are one of the nice guys/gals.

If a car is coming towards me and we are on a narrow road, one of us has to stop in a space to make way for the other person. If the other person stops, do you thank them or do you not thank them because they HAD to stop?

02-07-2003, 05:10 PM
Originally posted by leXX
I'm concerned with the lack of manners, Who is to blame, the schools, the parents?

I think western culture puts to much emphasis on the individual. Too many people think that they are really special and everyone else is inferior. Diversity is great but if you don't understand how much we are all the same then it's easy to DISrespect others and be rude. Just today I had a run in at the local supermarket with a 19 or 20 old girl who freaked on me. 1rst, I had my 2 year old daughter with me, I almost ran into her basket, but I did not touch it. I said excuse me and smiled and she called me a racial slur with profanity and said people like me should not breed white trash children.
Because of my good manners I did not respond in kind and walked away. If this type of thing continues I will eventually loose control.

But after all that I will say this is a great place for manners with just a few exceptions.

Mini Movie (http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/griffmanco/lst?&.dir=/JEDI&.src=bc&.view=l)

Darth Talliusc
02-07-2003, 05:55 PM
i like to consider myself a polite person with the proper manners due to a person who yet has much to learn of this world.

i, like darky and some others here, hold doors open and act responsibly but i also have acted with bad manners at times.

at some of the billiards i frequent there are people that are incredibly rude and i tend to return with like and kind. an example: a group of 50 year olds (or so, im guestimating) approached our pool table one night and told us to leave. now if they had asked nicely for the table i most likely would have let them have it, but i very much dislike being told what to do. now if they had been the owners or even regulars i would have left without complaint (i didnt want to be thrown out for angering the owner or a consistent regular). but this was not the case, i could tell that these people were not the nicest types of people simply from their language (which was quite foul) and the way that their "leader" blew smoke in my friends face. we didnt leave and as it turned out they wanted to press the issue. no fights broke out but that was a near thing. i had to hold back one friend after one of the older people threatened his girlfriend.

this is just to show that its not just young people that can be incredibly rude. although i do see your point leXX.

little kids learn very early in life that they can get a reaction by doing something rude, for my parents that meant leaving something out where somebody might trip on it. for me it meant being annoying and fighting with my brother (i was young, leave me alone). kids who are raised by parents who shock and provoke will shock and provoke in turn. it scares me at times thinking where our society is going but i have faith that these annoying little brats will anger somebody alot bigger then them at some point and get the stuffing kicked out of them. maybe thats whats needed to set them straight. i wont be handing out the beatings to be sure but a part of me wants to.

ET Warrior
02-08-2003, 02:41 AM
I have, like most others posting here, been raised with a set of values that tell me that politeness is necessary. I hold open doors, i say please, thank you, excuse me, you're welcome, and all the other nice things to say. Whenever i take girls on dates i open and close the car doors for them, if I'm driving home after school and i see somebody i barely know walking home i will pull over and offer them a ride, even though my house is 1 block away from school (and i still drive.....i'm lazy) and their house may be on the other side of town.

I am AMAZED at grade schoolers whenever i'm around them. I know when i was in grade school i would NEVER EVER EVER say anything to a high schooler that wasn't nice. EVER. I was terrified that they would beat me senseless. I know now of course they wouldn't, because it's really not possible for me to even think about hitting a little kid.....but at the time i was terrified. Last summer i was playing roller hockey and some 11 or 12 year old kid was playing with us....he was such a punk, always swearing, so i told him to watch his mouth....and he wanted to throw down his gloves and go at it with me! Now i'm not a very big 17 year old, but i still had 5 years, 6 inches, and 20 pounds on him...........it's insane.

02-08-2003, 04:37 AM
almost everything you say proves my point, the most aggresion comes from 8-13 year old children, and though there may be people in other age categories that act the same, the percentage that is rude is the highest in that age group. in the netherlands, we have a cursus for people from other country's, to learn the dutch do's and don'ts, i suggest we give them to 8-13 years old too.

02-08-2003, 05:01 AM
I'm 19...and I have an extremely high amount of respect and manners. I'm very loyal as well. I've had some military-type background, so I also follow orders well. Sometimes I catch myself passing a casual "salute" to my boss at work, lol.

I have all of this due to a childhood of "manners"

02-08-2003, 11:50 AM
I've always looked at it like a matter of training.

Teenagers (from my perspective) are simply adults-in-training. If you go to work for a company that makes widgets and they put you on the assembly line with no training, what do you do first?

Some will ask others, some will look for the boss and ask him/her, but many (I think most) will try it on their own first. How hard could it be, right?

Of the new employees that ask peers, some ask peers that know what their doing, some ask peers that are clueless. It's impossible to tell the difference beforehand, since no one wants to reveal that they no not what they are doing.

Of the ones that ask the boss, some will get wisdom, but some will get a brush off. After all, some bosses are just too bogged down in their own workloads.

Of the ones that try it on their own, some will get it right and some will get it wrong (again, probably most will get it wrong). The ones that get it right may or may not consistently get it right, and the ones that get it wrong may learn from their mistakes or they may become frustrated and not engage good problem-solving skills.

This is what our teens are going through in society today. They are adults in training and the parents, teachers, etc. (bosses) are often very busy in their own pursuits. Peers are often as clueless as they, since they were/are in the same predictament.

What is lost is the on-the-job training in areas such as values, morals, ethics, etc. that exist in every family and society to varying degrees. The end result is a generational deteriation in ethics.

A kid can listen to whatever music, wear whatever clothes and, watch whatever television/movies, but it's the ethical standards that the kid has for himself that will filter what goes through him/her.


Oh.... just in case you were wondering... I work with Juvenile Delinquents when I'm not going to college. That's were this idea has originated ;-)

02-08-2003, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by kstar__2
almost everything you say proves my point, the most aggresion comes from 8-13 year old children

I don't disagree with you but that age group deserves a little consideration, the physical and emotional changes occuring at that age are the cause of alot of the bad behavior.

What I can't stand are adults who have no excuse. When a 17 year old boy flips me off in traffic it doesn't bother me as much as when a 40 year old man does it.

Short JKII Outcast Movie clip (http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/griffmanco/lst?.dir=/JEDI&.view=l)

02-09-2003, 03:04 PM
as my old gran used to say "manners cost nothing."

if everyone lived by "treat people the way YOU'D like to be treated", the world would be a better place.

02-09-2003, 09:41 PM
Well, I am quite amazed at how some little kids react, and it's unfortunate that I haven't had good experiences with them..... like many of the other people in this thread, I was raised on good manners, too, and growing up I have watched how kids misbehave instead of being the kid that misbehaves, in which case I have learned the simplest and polite things you can do that will make life smoother in the long run :), it really disgusts me how those misbehaving teens can give us such a bad rep :mad:

02-12-2003, 12:34 AM
I also was raised with having good manners. I open the door for people and hold it open and stuff like that. I also make sure that I say hi to people whenever I pass them if I make eye contact with them if they are older or give a nod to acknowledge them.

I also make sure that I say no thank you if I am offered something and I dont want it and to say thank you.

I also make sure that if someone asks me something that I respond to them like ShockV1.89 said. I mean it's not to hard to say something like no thank you I am just looking around or something like that.

I also make sure that I correct my nephew whenever he uses bad language to much. He knows that if he calls me something that he shouldnt when I am joking that I am going to slap him up side the head. He also knows to say no thank you and all that stuff. He is a smart ass and I relize that but I know when to something when he had gone beyond toleration.

If I also was flipped off by a some punk I just saw I would give him the bird as well. But if some punk ass said something to one of my female friends I would kick his ass and make him apoligize.

As for someone older giving me any gestures like that I just take it out on them later on by doing something to them later on anonymously. That way the learn their lesson. But I would never cuss out someone who is Significantly older than me. It just wrong to do something like that.

:lsduel: :duel:

02-12-2003, 03:39 PM
I don't see to many young children (12-17yrs) but I do see many, many adults at my job. Customers. And I see a lot of filthy, rude, scum of the earth adults. It's not just children who have no manners, or are arrogant. Adults are as well. You just associate with well mannered adults, and occaisonally see rude children. If you frequently saw the rude adults, your opinion would change on just who, or what, makes someone rude.