View Full Version : Funny "scenes" from Star Wars Books

02-13-2003, 02:57 PM
I just finished Darksaber. . . again (I know it's not the best EU book there is, but I still like it). There is this one part that I thought was really funny:

<p> Durga roared and reached for his smallcontrol pad, punching a fat greenish finger against one of the buttons. the Twi'lek let out a little yip of anticipatory terror -- but instead, a hapless Weeguay at abother station yowled and began to jitter as arcs of blue electrical fire curled up from the base of his booby-trapped seat. the discharge crisped his flesh, electricuting him in a instant. The Weequay's smoldering corpse slumped against his navigational station.
<p> Durga frowned and glanced down at his control pad. "Oh," he said. "Sorry, wrong button." The smell of disintegrated flesh wafted through the bridge deck in greasy, sooty wisps from the collasped body.
<p> "Well, let that be a lesson to you, then," Durga said glowering at his intended victim.

I couldn't stop snickering for a few minutes. Does anybody else know of funny "scenes" from other Star Wars books?

Tie Guy
02-13-2003, 05:36 PM
Hehe, yeah, i remember that.

I can remember cracking up at several points while reading SW books, but now that i try to think about it, i can't remember and specific cases.

Wraith 8
02-13-2003, 05:47 PM
hey if we are gonna quote book parts.. i have LOADS of funny ones :p ..hmmmmmm

02-13-2003, 08:03 PM
and then there's the one where Han teases 3PO saying their gonna give 3PO to Durga as a gesture of goodwill. That was funny too

Thrackan Solo
02-15-2003, 12:40 PM
How about in the Corellian Trilogy when Anakin,Jacen and Jaina try to build a droid and it explodes :D

02-15-2003, 01:24 PM
Originally posted by Thrackan Solo
How about in the Corellian Trilogy when Anakin,Jacen and Jaina try to build a droid and it explodes :D

VERY melty now

Even then, you knew they were gonna have some wild adventures (althoug they were better than expected!)

I liked Han putting Chewie in the command chair when Zsinji commed. Ticked him off SOOO much!

02-15-2003, 07:03 PM
i liked the part in shadows of the empire:

security droid: your name, sir?

katarn: A man with a blaster about to shoot you (or something like that)

and the droid answers his name like that. was pretty funny.

02-15-2003, 10:16 PM
I think you mean Dash. Kyle wasn't in Shadows (though it sounds like something he'd say... :D)

Dialouge between Lorn Pavon and his droid are great in Shadow Hunter. One in particular.

Lorn: You bastard

Droid: Bastard. One born with a single parent. Second definition, one very.... yeah, we all know the definition.

or later when fleeing from Maul with Darsha Assant.

Lorn: Who pissed in your power couplings?


Kyle in JK (I know its not a book, but they're great!)

Kyle: Leaving so soon? (blows 88's arm off)

Later when Kyle meets 8t88 again, just before his first duel with Yun.

Kyle: I should have aimed for your head when I had the chance
8t88: A lost oppurtunity....

02-16-2003, 05:42 AM
Vuffie Ra and Lando during his early years adventures.

They wound each other up something chronic!

Darth Talliusc
02-16-2003, 11:57 AM
donos: pretty, what do we blow up first?
wedge:wright that down, that ought to be the wraith squadron slogan.

wedge: we'll be doing as much work on the ground; sabotage, subversion, intrusion, as flying
phanan: assassination?
wedge: if you can find a way for us to infiltrate and surgically destroy an imperial base without our enemies calling it assassination, id like to speak with you after this meeting
phanan: thats fine, i just wanted to know. actually i dont mind assassination.

kell: attention implacable, be advised you've just become the victims of dinner squadron.
runt: and silly squadron
kell: consider yourselves humiliated and welcome to folor. out.

zsinj: you realize you have cost me very dearly.
han: i dont have much to offer in compensation, maybe i could let you kiss my wookiee.

and pretty much any conversations involving face and phanan were funny. i miss ton. :(

Wraith 8
02-16-2003, 05:56 PM
hey.. im the huge wraith squeadron fan... i was about to list all the good ones :p

02-17-2003, 12:16 PM
All the Wraith's book are hilarious. Especially when Phanan talks. And the jokes about Kettch

02-21-2003, 10:44 PM
The Wraith Squadron books definitely top the list for SW humour... every scene involving Lieutenant Kettch just cracked me up.
"Yub yub, Commander!"

I, Jedi also has plenty of funny bits. The scene on the Errant Venture with the 'defective' stun baton... that was great. And anything involving Keevy was funny too.

Wraith 8
02-25-2003, 08:43 AM
ok.. ill start quoting a funny piece of the Wraith Squadron books everytime i post here.

Wes "You look like you've fought a few rounds with a rancor. "
Wedge "Thanks, Wes. I'm sure General Crespin will appreciate that comparison."

"lets get started. Who is first?"
Janson consulted his Datapad. "His name his Kettch, and he's and Ewok."
Wedge came upright. "No."
"Oh yes. Determined to fight. You should hear him say, 'Yub, yub.' He makes it a battle cry."

02-25-2003, 11:02 AM
Janson: ". . . . Sorry, I have to run, have to figure out what to razz Wedge about."
Donos: "I'm taking career advice from a 9 tear old."

Lara: "May we come in?"
Face: "I'm not decent."
Lara: "When are you ever?"
They walk in Face's room
Lara: "What are you doing?"
Face: "Learning to play a musical instrument with the power of my mind."

Wraith 8
02-25-2003, 06:39 PM
wedge: "Well who is next? A mynock? A womprat?"
Wes: "My you are getting paranoid."

The scarred pilot said, "you know, if I had even the tiniest control over the force, what I'd do with it?"
She shook her head.
"On those long missions, I'd scratch that little spot in the center of my back i can never reach . . . "
She stood up fast.
"Go ahead, make fun."
"Oh come on. You think Luke Skywalker doesn't do that?"

04-25-2003, 05:57 AM
starfighters of adumar had loads of funny stuff...lemme see if i can remember some of them.

"what, exactly [are we going to do now]?" -hobbie

"we're gonna try to subvert an imperial admiral" - wedge

"oh. something easy. while you're doin that, why don't Wes & I smuggle ourselves aboard the Agonizer and destroy her with thrown rocks?"

"(grinning) with the right tools...you could probably do that. in the meantime we have the right tools to subvert our imperial admiral"

"what tools?"

"oh, wes' maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills"

"(burrying face in hands) we're doomed"

lol. couldn't stop laughing when i read that one. here's another one...
"why didn't you bring tycho up with u? he's your wingman. and he's better with records" -wes

"i need someone to be in charge on the ground" -wedge

"i can be in charge on the ground"

"oh, that'd be good. u & hobbie running thru the streets of cartann... taking charge when a delicate political disaster strikes. here's an example. a noble of cartann comes to you & says '...i'm here to request asylum in the new republic' what do YOU say?"

"is she good-looking?"

cracked up after that one, too....the book is saturated with that sort of stuff. aaron allston rox....

04-25-2003, 06:52 PM
I love in "The Approching storm" (god, i love that book) Bulgan is just standing in Soergg's palace, picking his nosed. Great visuals. :jester1:

04-30-2003, 05:03 AM
There was this one part in Starfighters of Adumar... Let's see if I can recall it...

(Wes just stepped up to fight this Adumari noble in a blastsword duel)

Wes: Thanaer, your widow sure is pretty.

Before the duel commences

Wes: Wait! Look, it's a bantha! (waves blastsword furiously to create a crudely made bantha)

Wes: Not familiar with banthas? How about this? (waves furiously again) It's an Adumari farumme!!

Thanaer: Can we get on with this?

Wes: Wait just one more! (draws a stick figure with a circle too small to be a head) Look, It's Thanaer ke Sekae!

I thought that part was so hilarious. I kept some parts out though, like when they spoke to the perator of Cartann

04-30-2003, 08:47 AM
yeah...that one got a few laughs..hehe..there're too many funny scenes in SoA to mention...the post-make-out-with-iella-session which wedge had with wes ("or more, importantly, was it in the part of your brain which u use or was is in the majority portion?"), the scene where they all were enroute to yedagon (wedge:"she's come along about 2, maybe 3 years since the other night...maybe we can build a weapon outa the process and shoot janson a few times" wes: "i heard that") and several others besides....damn, that book was worth every cent.

04-30-2003, 08:57 AM
Lara: "May we come in?"
Face: "I'm not decent."
Lara: "When are you ever?"
They walk in Face's room
Lara: "What are you doing?"
Face: "Learning to play a musical instrument with the power of my mind."

dont forget what lara said after that (" I thought so")....that was funny, too. then there's her "i read it somewhere" explanation for where she'd heard of the "unwritten law" on lieutenanthood. hehe. :)

05-01-2003, 03:16 AM
How about then the 2 officers where talking about Thrawn being a blue freak on an open com, and he heard.