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Matt-Liell
02-18-2003, 07:34 PM
Well I had to write a story for school with musical accompaniment and I wanted to write a Lord of the Rings story so I thought why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone and use the LotR soundtrack as music. Now this is the story of the creation of Sauron and the Ring. I know that there was already a story on it and this pretty much follows that story but I added on to it. Now if you are a hardcore LotR fan like myself you may say, "Well hey that doesn't work." But please keep in mind I didn't have the time to go into all the detail and reaserch needed to produce a flawless story. In fact I have been sick for awhile and wrote most of this in the last couple hours. So without futher ado here it is!

____________________________________________

The Lord of the Rings
The Alliance

The snow brought out the true beauty of Aranedell. The valley of Mordor was crested in a white blanket of peace. The elves of Aranedell walked and played in the snow, all except one elf. Eruanno Eärfalas, son of Earon of the Elven Council sat under the biggest tree in Aranedell staring at one of his daggers. Meldince son of Olorion the man and Ethléän the elf maiden came and sat beside him.
“What troubles you?” He said calmly.
“Nothing.”
“Nay, say not lies. I see the grey in your face, the fiery depths in your eyes.”
“War, war is what troubles me. Evil, evil has come.”
“Of what do you speak? The biggest evils of Middle-Earth are outcasts of Men and Hobbits who steal and do wrong deeds. But that population of thieves no match for even one good elf, let alone an army.”
“It’s not that, it’s bigger.”
“Have you had any brandy-wine lately Eruanno?”
“Do not joke about such a matter, you will die like the rest!” With that he got up and walked away to solitude for the night.

Eruanno Eärfalas was a noble elf. A warrior at heart but also a peaceful soul, tranquil until evil prevails. He was strong and skilled with daggers and more so with a bow. He was respected highly by both the council of Rivendell and Aranedell. His best friend was Meldince Carnesir. He was neither just an elf nor just a man, he was both. Half man and half elf, it is a hard way to grow up in Middle-Earth. All races kept to themselves. Hobbits in Hobbiton, Elves in Rivendell and Aranedell and Men in Gondor and Rohan. If you are born of and elf woman you look like a normal elf but you keep some of the weaknesses of men. Meldince didn’t seem to have any of these. Elves are the kindest of creatures so many did not tease his family but there are always hardships in this case. On that day Meldince showed one characteristic of men; over confidence in numbers. For it takes but one to change the course of history.

The snow was cold but he stayed brewing. The world was peaceful but he stayed wreathed in flame. No one stirred, but they would. No one feared, though they should. No one knew but the senses of but one, but it was no threat. He stood being created buy a power so evil. He stood being forged. Unthinkable malice, unthinkable evil. The flame of Middle-Earth would soon stand. The mountain trembled, the fiery depths of the volcano were rising. The days were now growing shorter, for he was coming. Many a death were coming, many a pain. For out of the very flame of the mountain stepped the ironclad monster, skull of flame. The Dark Lord Sauron had made his entrance. He turned around, facing the bubbling magma, the evil that created him. With a swift upward thrust of his hand the fire rose to the heavens above, dark clouds lurked over the valley of Mordor. Lightning coming from the paths of all ways of the wind centred on the mountain. There it stood, now Mount Doom.

The elves of Aranedell saw the black clouds, they feared nothing. Rain is all they expected, but that is not what they would receive. For a month the clouds engulfed the area, looming like an unwanted shadow in the dark but no rain did come. Mordor was growing darker each day, the elves were getting anxious. Word of Aranedell reached Rivendell and they too became worried. Elrond called for a meeting of the two elven councils. Eruanno’s father Earon departed the fortnight. He did not return after forty days had passed, the elves became impatient. For in the distance past the great mountains of Mordor, distant lights were seen, rising with each coming day.

Word spread out to every corner of Middle-Earth of the tales of Aranedell. The hobbits of course chose to ignore it but others did not. The races became unruly, wild and would not listen to reason. This is where it began.

Leaders from far and wide came to Rivendell. Elves, Men and Dwarves alike came to meet together, which was as I have said a rare occasion. Though they did not like it, they saw the danger of the wild races and felt it a must to meet. They were clueless to the cause of the uproar, blind to the eye of evil. The leaders included three elves, immortal wisest and the fairest of all beings. Seven dwarf lords who were miners and craftsmen. And nine men, kings of their regions and who all desired power. They hadn’t a clue of what to do, until it came upon them of another power; magic. This led to the forging of the 19 great rings of power. They were made with elven magic by Elves of Eregion. The races settled down of a month and all was fine, but the problem of the missing elves and not been.

If you recall Earon had set out with a band of 50 elves and never returned. When he did not arrive Elrond sent out a search party of over 200 to scour Middle-Earth. Eruanno was grieving his father’s absence. He stayed in solitude for many months until one day, that one day when all was revealed. Eruanno set off that night with his four daggers at his side and his might elven bow on his back, but he did not go unseen. Another saw him leave and another left with him. Meldince followed him into the dark wood that night unnoticed of course but not without reason.

His lay down on the rack, without clothes. Smoke bellowed around him. Earon had his arms and legs tied on a huge machine, but he was not alone. Grunts could be heard all around him but shadows were all he could see. A crude form of elvish language could be head shouting across the gloomy cavern. Screams were also heard and Earon was getting scared, and for good reason. Though he did not know and never would, he was below the tower of Barad-dûr. He was in the torture chamber, the very place of the creation of orcs. Orcs were gruesome creatures who were once elves. They were tortured in the worst ways possible and became minions of Sauron. This is exactly what happened to 250 of the 251 elves who were parading around Middle-Earth when the Dark Lord himself drove them to madness and brought them here. Earon did not escape this fate either, he to became orc, he too was not redeemed.

Eruanno went forth on the path to Rivendell followed by his elf companion who still remained a secret. He came to Rivendell where the mood was less than happy. He found Elrond and the started their long conversation of the unfortunate elves which included his father. By the end Eruanno was full of pity anger but he did not know what at.
“Lord Elrond, who is responsible for this?” He asked the elven Lord.
“We do not know young one. It is a mystery to all. But there is one chance for us to find out.”
“Of what do you speak”
“There was one soul survivor of the attack, well if that is what it was. He came back. Námotulco the elf came back to Rivendell after the incident faint and weak. He passed out at our gates and has not awoken until this morning but he has said nothing, you and your friend are free to wait here in our walls until he does.”
“My friend? I have come alone Lord.”
“And so have I but together we make two.” Said Meldince as he walked out of his cover behind a bush where the two elves were talking.
“Meldince, what are you doing here?” Asked Eruanno in a grumbling tone.
“Helping you my friend.”
“Has it ever occurred to you that I left at night not telling anyone because I wished to journey alone?”
“Well has it ever occurred to you that you will need my help?”
Eruanno’s face suddenly changed from a frown to a smile, he laughed and walked away with Meldince at his side.

They waited a week until Námotulco spoke. He spoke of an evil shadow in the dark, and the whole camp of elves going mad under an unseen force. Their leaders told them to march into the valley of Mordor and they did so but when they got there they were beaten by the evil magic of the Dark Lord himself before going onto torture. Námotulco was hit by the Dark Lord so hard that he flew for miles through the air landing away and out of sight, his life was spared. He walked with his heavily wounded body all the way to Rivendell and fell before its gates. That was the tale of the one elf who escaped. Everyone was taken aback by the dreadful story and soon the story had passed through all the reaches of Middle-Earth and once again the races grew wild but the power of the rings kept them in line long enough.

“Your army is ready master.” Said the orc as he slowly and slimily made his way to Sauron’s side.
“Good, do not proceed yet. It is not ready.” With that he clanked slowly away into the darkness and climbed the great evil mountain. It was in this moment when the fate of the world took a turn for the worse. This one evil being was to change the course of history forever. Before he turned the elves to orcs he proposed a deal, he wanted them to help him and to give him their rings of power for the elves were the most powerful of all the beings but this failed. He once again looked into the fires of Mount Doom and he once again rose his hand, but what emerged was not magma but a ring. One Ring to Rule Them All! And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life!

Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the land of Mordor where shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
On Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Mordor where shadows lie.

He rose his hand once again but this time with the ring on it, magma shot out of the top of the mountain, the orcs had begun their rampage on Middle-Earth.

The elves of Aranedell had now begun their journey to a new place to live. Half of the town left to search, mostly males. They travelled long until they reached Mirkwood and set up camp. By now one by one the lands of the free peoples had already fallen to the power of the ring. So the elves decided to settle in Mirkwood, but evil was present there also. They had to battle giant spiders and other evil insects found in the depths of the woods but they managed. Then one day a group of fifty were sent to get the others.

They marched for weeks until reaching Aranedell, but they would not find their families and friends but the lifeless bodies of elves and orcs and smoke that had yet to die down. Aranedell had been defeated, the land of Mordor was completely occupied by orcs and the forces of evil.

Word of Aranedell’s fate reached Elrond in Rivendell and the news relayed to both Eruanno and Meldince and all other elves. Another meeting of the races of the free peoples was to take place. For weeks the elves waited for the arrival of Men and Dwarves in their land but none did come. They thought that the power in their rings would save them but they were wrong. Months after many great dwarves would fall in the battle of the Mines of Moria and golbins would now inhabit there as well. The Dark Lord was extending his mighty reach. None could escape it.

The Men grew fearful in Gondor and Rohan. The Kings of Men were desperate for power and soon wandered of and fell to the power of the ring, never to be seen in that for again. The Nazguls were formed. Eledil was now brought into power as king and his son Isildur as prince.

“Eruanno, I fear for the fate of the world. We must unite or we will fall!” Said Elrond.
“Lord Elrond I will bring word to the men of Gondor but I will need help. I will take Meldince and Námotulco with me and we will form the alliance.”
“I believe that is the only thing we can do Eruanno. I wish you did not have to bear this burden. Your father is dead, most of your people as well. Your home is destroyed and you must face unknown dangers ahead. I wish you and your companions good luck on your quest. I pray that you will succeed.”
“Thanks you your excellency.” Eruanno then departed on horse back with his friends after a great feast and many speeches among the elves of Rivendell in hopes to form the alliance between men and elves.

“Master, several spies have seen a group of three elves leave Rivendell in the direction of Rohan.”
“Very well orc, take your soldiers and kill them, make no mistakes or I shall kill you!”
“Yes Master.” The orc limped away to wake his troops and they left for the Gap of Rohan.

After a month of travel the three companions reached the gap of Rohan.
“Well here we are, only a days travel to Rohan and then we make way to Gondor.” Informed Eruanno.
“Are we stopping here?” Asked Meldince.
“Yes it would be unwise to travel at night out in the open.” Replied Eruanno.
Just then they heard a screech then all was quiet they started to ride again when out of the neighbouring wood came a legion of slimy orcs armed and ready to kill. Eruanno drew out his bow as did the other elves, they shot at the shadows that were drawing closer rapidly firing at their enemies. Meldince then dismounted his horse with a great leap and drew out his double bladed sword. The orcs drew nearer firing arrows and charging with crude spears and swords. Eruanno dismounted as well, drawing two of his four daggers and Námotulco took out his elven sword. The orcs were almost halfway to there targets when they split up into three groups each to pursue one of the elves. The orcs and elves then clashed into a big melee. Each elf chopping vigorously at its foes and blocking the attacks they were making. Pure martial skill was seen that day on the part of each elf. They fought against unthinkable odds but orcs or not the greatest of warriors though the three elves were. Each elf came very close do death in that battle and had almost defeated half of the orcs when Námotulco was stabbed in the shoulder. Eruanno had just stabbed an orc in the chin and lifted it up over his head by the dagger slashing at him with the other and using him to shield the attacks of the other foes when he heard Námotulco’s terrifying scream. Námotulco was on the ground in pain and an orc was just about to put a blade right through his head when Eruanno took out all his blades and stabbed four orcs behind him pulled them out and threw two of them at Námotulco’s foe. The orc fell down lifelessly and Námotulco got up and fought through pain. After 3 hours more of fighting the army of orcs was defeated and the elves made way to Rohan. There they gathered some men and left for Gondor.

The elves passed the gates of Gondor and talked for hours about there situation with Elendil who unlike the old Kings of Men agreed heartily. The Alliance between men and elves had begun. War was coming to Mordor.

The three elves rode back to Rivendell, without problems this time and told Elrond of their success.
“We are to go to war, we must defeat Sauron and destroy the Ring.” Said Eruanno.
“Very well,” replied Elrond, “Lead on.”

Reborn Outcast
02-18-2003, 07:40 PM
Wow thats a good story!!! Very well written in my opinion. Only I think your teacher is gonna think you're a freak.. I mean... nevermind. :D

Matt-Liell
02-18-2003, 07:50 PM
Thanks you, I thought I did a good job!:D Not as much detail as I would like it to have but good all the same. Anymore opinions?

Reborn Outcast
02-18-2003, 07:53 PM
Well I have one thing. :D If you have some time on your hands right now, make the fight scene longer and more detailed. It seemed to short to be imagined as real as you're reading it.

Matt-Liell
02-18-2003, 07:59 PM
Funny you should say that, I was just altering the story that Meldince dies. And I'm going to and more detail now but here it is so far:

Just then they heard a screech then all was quiet they started to ride again when out of the neighbouring wood came a legion of slimy orcs armed and ready to kill. Eruanno drew out his bow as did the other elves, they shot at the shadows that were drawing closer rapidly firing at their enemies. Meldince then dismounted his horse with a great leap and drew out his double bladed sword. The orcs drew nearer firing arrows and charging with crude spears and swords. Eruanno dismounted as well, drawing two of his four daggers and Námotulco took out his elven sword. The orcs were almost halfway to there targets when they split up into three groups each to pursue one of the elves. The orcs and elves then clashed into a big melee. Each elf chopping vigorously at its foes and blocking the attacks they were making. Pure martial skill was seen that day on the part of each elf. They fought against unthinkable odds but orcs or not the greatest of warriors though the three elves were. Each elf came very close do death in that battle and had almost defeated half of the orcs when Námotulco was stabbed in the shoulder. Eruanno had just stabbed an orc in the chin and lifted it up over his head by the dagger slashing at him with the other and using him to shield the attacks of the other foes when he heard Námotulco’s terrifying scream. Námotulco was on the ground in pain and an orc was just about to put a blade right through his head when Eruanno took out all his blades and stabbed four orcs behind him pulled them out and threw two of them at Námotulco’s foe. The orc fell down lifelessly and Námotulco got up and fought through pain. Then it happened, Meldince stood admiring his work, pleased with the fighting he had done and he cheered “We have won!” When out the bush rushed more orcs and an arrow pierced Meldince right through the throat and he feel stiff to the ground. After 3 hours more of fighting the army of orcs was defeated and the elves made way to Rohan with Meldince‘s body. There they gathered some men and left for Gondor.

The elves passed the gates of Gondor and talked for hours about there situation with Elendil who unlike the old Kings of Men agreed heartily. The Alliance between men and elves had begun. War was coming to Mordor.

The two elves rode back to Rivendell, without problems this time and told Elrond of their success. Then they buried Meldince in the soil of his people.
“We are to go to war, we must defeat Sauron and destroy the Ring or others will suffer the same fate as Meldince.” Said Eruanno.
“Very well,” replied Elrond, “Lead on.”

Katarn07
02-18-2003, 08:09 PM
I didn't read it all. You have got talent. Your teacher will freak.

My English teacher enjoys my stories I have to write (I can't choose topic... :( )

They were journal entries from Ralph from Lord of the Flies. Two of them about the situation on the island. Not my best; it was in 1st person. Not good at that unless it's dialouge.

Reborn Outcast
02-18-2003, 08:18 PM
Originally posted by Matt-Liell
Eruanno drew out his bow as did the other elves, they shot at the shadows

Slight correction. It should be "Eruanna drew out is bow, as did the other elves, and they shot at the shadows..." :D Just tryin to help you get a better grade. :D

Originally posted by Matt-Liell
The two elves rode back to Rivendell, without problems this time and told Elrond of their success.

One more thing that I noticed. :D "The two elves rode back to Rivendell, without problems this time, and told Elrond of their success."

:D

Looks good!!!

Eldritch
02-18-2003, 08:40 PM
The story is ok, but it would never make it on a college level (maybe not even high school). There are obvious issues of direct plagiarism (i.e. - lines taken directly from the movie and/or book... this equals automatic failure of the class and removal from the school in some instances). It's ok if your story is based on LotR, but you can't take lines directly.

There are multiple errors of grammar, such as the use of passive voice, tense switching, misplaced/dangling modifiers, subject verb agreement, pronoun reference (the list goes on and on).
I used to be a student aid for the Com I & II classes at my college, and I'd often read papers and write up grammar errors with the often-hated red pen.

As I said, a good story for high school, but you couldn't turn it in at the college level if you were interested in passing the class. :/

You said you wanted honesty...

Katarn07
02-18-2003, 08:45 PM
Plagerism for a story in High School is alright I think if it is for dialouge (give credit to JRR Tolkien for his characters and lines though...)

Eldritch
02-18-2003, 09:09 PM
Plagiarism is never alright. Plagiarism is defined as taking source material without quoting it and citing a source. If you guys get into your education with the idea that it's ok in High School then carry that attitude to college, you're going to have REAL problems when you can no longer take ideas that aren't yours. In many college level papers, you're not even allowed to quote anyone - everything must come from your head.

Best to get a good grasp on it now, so you don't have to struggle later.

Katarn07
02-18-2003, 09:11 PM
Citing is kinda sorta the same as what I said...

Sorry, if it is not. I don't plagerize in my works.

Eldritch
02-18-2003, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by Katarn07
Citing is kinda sorta the same as what I said...

Sorry, if it is not. I don't plagerize in my works.

It is what you said, but he didn't quote the places where he took stuff directly from the book/movie.
If he did (and there's a citation at the end), it's fine.

Katarn07
02-18-2003, 09:15 PM
That can detract from a story and not an essay. What about a bunch of asterisks by the cited material and a footnote?

wassup
02-18-2003, 09:31 PM
I know you dont wanna hear this...but it doesnt exactly tie in line with LOTR. Morgoth (Sauron's master) was the one that created the orcs. But putting that silly stuff aside, its a good, solid story. A few grammarical and spelling mistakes here and there, but overall its great! Just curious, how are you gonna present the story? Read it in front of the class while the music is playing?

access_flux
02-19-2003, 05:53 AM
yer man, not bad. it was pretty cool.

Matt-Liell
02-19-2003, 07:15 AM
Originally posted by wassup
I know you dont wanna hear this...but it doesnt exactly tie in line with LOTR. Morgoth (Sauron's master) was the one that created the orcs. But putting that silly stuff aside, its a good, solid story. A few grammarical and spelling mistakes here and there, but overall its great! Just curious, how are you gonna present the story? Read it in front of the class while the music is playing?


I'm setting up a website and putting pictures of the characters up and making links you press to start the music.

About the argument of it not being college level, I'm only 14 so it doesn't have to be. And about Morgarth and all that, I was rewriting the story so I didn't think it necessary to rewrite it exactly as Tolkien did so I changed it a bit. And the as for the Plagiarism this is all that I didn't write on my own but you kind of have to include it since it really is the basis of the entire story.

One Ring to Rule Them All! And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.

Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the land of Mordor where shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
On Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Mordor where shadows lie.

And I gave Tolkien Credit for this at the end.

Eldritch
02-19-2003, 08:48 AM
Originally posted by Matt-Liell
About the argument of it not being college level, I'm only 14 so it doesn't have to be. And about Morgarth and all that, I was rewriting the story so I didn't think it necessary to rewrite it exactly as Tolkien did so I changed it a bit. And the as for the Plagiarism this is all that I didn't write on my own but you kind of have to include it since it really is the basis of the entire story.
And I gave Tolkien Credit for this at the end.

I know it doesn't have to be college level, I'm only trying to let you know not to get in a habit of doing things this way or you'll have trouble later on.

As for the Plagiarism, if you gave Tolkien credit that's fine for the stuff you took from the books, but what about the lines from the movie? Did you give the guy who wrote the screenplay credit for the "One Ring to rule them all! And into this ring he poured..." line? I don't ever remember Tolkien writing that, but I know it was in FotR.