View Full Version : Am I wrong here?
02-23-2003, 02:26 AM
I wanted more opinions on this, and it's sort of bothering me, so heres the background...
My girlfriends best friend is single. She's somewhat lonely too. Anyway, there's a guy that she's been sleeping with, but not "together" with. Trouble is, he's married. She's still fooling around with him. I'm pissed. She's acting with virtually no respect to sacred marriage vows that were made. Granted, it takes two and the guy is a prick too, but the "it takes two" thing goes both ways, and I dont know the guy.
Anyway, I cool off and try to brush it off as no big deal, she's making a mistake. But then, me and my gf are at a party at a friends house, and we walk into another room to find her best friend on the couch half naked with another friend of my gfs. He is ALSO married. Now I'm really pissed. I dont want to be around her anymore, and I mean totally.
Keep in mind this is the girl that slept with two married men, AND made serious advances on me while I was so seriously inebriated that I didnt even know who I, or she, was (the timely intervention of my gf prevented anything from happening).
Am I an overjudgemental bastard for not wanting to be around this girl? Everyone here seems to think so... but I mean, come on... I dont want anything to do with someone who is capable of these things. My gf says I shouldnt just look at those things about her, and she's right. Aside from the incredibly awful things that she's done, she's not a very bad person. But I just cant shake the feeling of disgust and revulsion I get when I look at her or think about her. Why should I be around someone who makes me feel that way?
Well? Am I overjudging?
02-23-2003, 02:48 AM
I see your dillema man. You obvisouly have moral values and thats good man. I don't know who would say that its ok cause I would call that chick a homewrecker. I also see why your g/f says shes a good person. I am with you man. If I knew someone like that I wouldn't want to be around her. I also would have told me g/f what she tried to do to me and ask her again if she still a nice person. But that is your choice if you would want too do that.
Your not overjudgeing man. I feel the sameway man. Just tell you g/f that you don't like her and that you don't want to be around people that are like that. If you feel strongly about it then stand your ground and tell her that. If she sees that you truly dont like it she will see your view.
02-23-2003, 02:54 AM
Cant blame her...shes lonely
Perhaps you could help her our by pairing her up on a date with one of your single, male friends who you think would make a great bf/guy. I guess you think of her as a slut or something, but your action might just save her from having unprotected sex and contracting who-knows-what. Maybe get to know her better, but only as a friend, nothing more, otherwise things could get wild and complicated. I mean, you must be turned off by what she is doing, but perhaps, maybe, with a little effort, you could turn her into a more socially acceptable person.
02-23-2003, 03:19 AM
You have every right not to want to be around her, especially if she's made advances on you. That's a definite signal that she's way to desparate. The fact that she's sleeping around with married men is bad enough. But using her loneliness as an excuse? No. You can do better things with your time if you're lonely. I was lonely for a long time before I met my girlfriend. She needs to learn that that is not the way to go about things.
02-23-2003, 03:24 AM
There's nothing wrong with you. Its her who has the problem. She does know that guy is married, doesn't she? If she does, then she knows full-well that she shouldn't be sleeping with him. You're not overjudging at all, but it may be a good idea to talk to her and maybe tell her that what she's doing is wrong.
Or you could just ignore it and let her ruin her life. Its all good. :p
02-23-2003, 03:36 AM
Ya a good idea is to talk to her, in private, about your feelings about her actions and see how she responds. If shes all bi*chy and stuff about it, then just leave her alone, and ignore her to the best of your ability. If she wants to seek help, she will show it, and then perhaps you could somehow help her.
02-23-2003, 03:46 AM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Rogue Nine
You have every right not to want to be around her, especially if she's made advances on you. That's a definite signal that she's way to desparate.[/QUOTE
I laughed a little when I read this. I thought you meant that she is desprare if she tried getting with Shock lol
But on a serious note I hope that you do something about it. As for someone saying that she might not know that the guys are married. How hard is it to see a ring on their fingers? How they hell would Shock know but she doesn't. She has to know or else she is a real dumb bitch.
From the sound of it, she only goes after non-single guys. Two married men, and then you (you have a gf).
To me, she sounds like a trouble-maker who just wants to rouse up anger and hatred.
You are not overjudgmental, you are just smart enough to see the girl is trouble.
02-23-2003, 09:30 AM
you shouldn't feel bad. talk to your g/f about how you feel and why then maybe you can help her to find single guys together. sleeping around so what doing it with atached blokes well nice people just don't do that.
02-23-2003, 09:36 AM
Keep in mind this is the girl that slept with two married men,
What's here phone #?
02-23-2003, 11:52 AM
sounds like she's kinda whoreish to me, like one of those homewreckers on Jerry Springer (not that I watch Jerry Springer). I wouldn't want anything to do with a person like that either. somebody should do something about her.
02-23-2003, 01:18 PM
Oh, she knows they're married, totally. She claims she cares and knows its wrong, but I think she's just saying that... I mean, she keeps doing it, right?
Anyway, last night her and my gf and another friend of mine went out to dinner. I didnt want to come because she was gonna be there, and although my gf didnt like it at all, she understood my feelings and it was ok. However, the friend threw a big fit, getting all offended that I dont want to be around her and I didnt respect her.
There was some mixup as to who was gonna be the sober person for the night, so I ended up driving out to a pub to pick them up. She kept rolling her eyes, and as we were walking to my car, she was telling my gf, real loud so I could hear, "Last I checked I wasnt that bad a person." Man, oh, man, it took every ounce of self control to not bust out laughing. I wanted so badly to just yell "Well, check again!" Anyway, she ended catching a ride home with someone else (who had had a few drinks, but she refused to get in a car with me).
I dunno, I think last night pretty much sealed the deal for me. I was laughing about it later. I mean, cmon. Where's she get off being offended by me not wanting to be around a homewrecker? lol It was pretty funny.
02-23-2003, 01:45 PM
just let her be.
you don't have to feel strongly about this i mean it's her life. she can do what ever she want.
if she keep doing what she's doing, sooner or later she will be caught. as for now just don't get bothered by it. it's not like you're the one whos getting cheated on.
02-23-2003, 02:00 PM
Dont forget that some (ok a lot!) guys also sleep around like that.
But knowing that a guy is married and then going after him??:
maybe she's looking for trouble or she's gettin' a kick out of it!.
At some point an angry wife will kick her ass!!!. :D
"Well, check again!"
Ahaah that was a good one!
02-23-2003, 10:29 PM
May be you should stop picking your nose :D. I think she should talk with someone because the vows of marriage are not to be broken. I see where she lonely and all but the way she is trying to get rid of it is all wrong.
vBulletin®, Copyright ©2000-2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.