View Full Version : i could use some help with the new spoof im creating

02-24-2003, 11:28 AM
i have a spoofers block with the two towers spoof im makeing (the great ring spammery part 2) i know i missed afew scenes and if some one could tell me which ones i missed and which ones i have comeing up ide be a happy man.

heres what i got so far. (dont be drinking of eating while reading this)

The great ring spammery part 2

*in the last exciteing episode of GRS*

balrog: hey you’re that wizard who stole my wallet

gandalf: uh if I pay you back will you let us go

balrog: yes

gandalf: how much

balrog: 10000

gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

* the balrog and gandalf fall into the abyss*

gandalf: weeeeee

balrog: dammit this is the 3rd time this week this has happened

*frodo wakes up from dream*

frodo: IM NOT GAY!!!

Sam: im afraid to ask what happened

Frodo: it was only a dream

*scean goes to golum falling off a cliff then starts looking for the ring*

golum: they stole my precious, my precious and my base ball cardses we wants them

frodo, sam: surprise dUm8 4$$

gollum: PRECIOUS!!!

*they tie up gollum*

gollum: nasty elves twisted the ropes.

frodo: whats with the rope

*sam smells the roap*

sam: i dont think i want to know

gollum: eek aug oof erk og erf

sam: every orc in mordor is going to here this racket

gollum: we wants crackerses

frodo: do you know how to get to the spookey place

gollum: whats is in it for us my precious

frodo: ill pay you in cheese ok. cheeeese

*the orcs of isengard are carrying merry and pippen*

uruk hai#1: *sniff sniff* whew

uruk hai#2: what do you smell

uruk hai#1: bad elven perfume

uruk hai#2: they picked up our trail

*aragorn starts listening to a rock*

aragorn: the rock tells me that they came this way and there running faster. Thanks to legolases perfume.

Legolas: it a mans cologne

Gimli: what mans cologne smells like flowers

legolas: well...its elven you know how it is

aragorn, gimli:....

legolas: WHAT?? i dont question gimli about his essence of rock do i

gimli: hey!!

Aragorn: anyways we should start running again…yeah running

*they start running again*

saruman: we kick ass don’t we sauron

sauron: damn seeing stone always gets the wrong number. I wanted to order a pizza

*we go to edoras to see eomer talking to the king*

eomer: the orcs are roaming through out our lands killing when they will

wormtoung: are you sure they werent dwarves

eomer: dwarves are too busy mineing

wormtoung: elves

eomer: their too busy praiseing themselves, plus the orcs were bearing the white hand of saruman

wormtoung: well that mite be the white hand of thorin oakenshield

eomer: uh hes dead

wormtoung: how about smaug

eomer: ok im tierd of this

*eomer grabs wormtoungs face*

eomer: how long has it been sence saruman bought you

wormtoung: wew ib wike toob tel oo bub wor drabing m fath (well ide like to tell you but your grabbing my face)

eomer: huh

wormtoung: garb dee dim (guards seise him)

guards: what

*orcs are tired “whusses”*

uruk hai#1: chop some trees down so we can piss some ents off

orc#1: lets eat the luggage

uruk hai#1: are you kidding saruman will give us suck a pink belly

orc#2: ooh they look tasty

orc#1: what about their legs

uruk hai#1: what about you

orc#1: well uhh

men of rohan: take there wallets

uruk hai#1: ohhh well an’t that the dickens

merry: exit stage left

pippen: lets make like a tree and get the heck out of here

merry: lets make like a banana and split

pippen: lets make like a thing that leaves and leave

*they leave*

*aragorn, gimli, and legolas meet up with the men of rohan*

aragorn: coconut clappers of rohan did you get a big haul

eomer: yes we did actually..who are you

*gimli put his pipe in his mouth and squints his eyes*

gimli: I am what I am and that’s all that I am, im popeye the sailor man

*eomer draws his sword*

eomer: oh you did not just make that corney joke

*legolas takes out his bow*

legolas: whats wrong with popeye

aragorn: were getting off the subject

gimli: oh did you see any hobbets

eomer: oh yeah we killed them

gimli: ok see you later

*the men of rohan bang their coconuts together as they ride off*

gimli:…..wait a second

*gimli finds pippens belt burnt to a criiiisp*

aragorn: DARN. now i have nothing to do

*aragorn sees the hobbets tracks*

aragorn: horay

*merry and pippen are followed into fangorn*

orc: come here you little treats

pippen: you fricken weardo

orc: hey I take that personally you know

merry: wait why are you working for evil when you can become good and help people plus good people don’t whip you when you do something wrong

orc: hey your right I could work for good and bring peace instead of pain. I could help people and eat animal instead of men. Im a new orc thanks little guy

*treebeard steps on the orc*

merry: the irony is just sickening

*treebeard picks up the hobbits*

merry, pippen: eeeeeek

treebeard: shut up you’ll scare the trees

pippen: holy chef boy are you stupid the tree is speaking

treebeard: of corse im speakin. what da hell dis boy talkin about "the tree is speakin"

merry, pippen:......riiiiiiiiiight

treebeard: the white wizard will decide

merry: decide what

treebeard: …..stuff

pippen: saruman!

treebeard: no gandalf

pippen: your not supposed to say that yet

treebeard: oh im sorry can we take that again

merry: no we have to go on with the spoof or white dragon will kill us

white dragon: damn straight!! get on with it! stupid, lasy, good for nothin actors...

*aragorn, legolas and gimli walk into fangorn*

legolas: gandalf is behind us

aragorn: lets hit him with some stuff.

*they attack gandalf and patheticly get defeated*

gimli: lights too bright...no! flashback to lothlorien


gandalf: want to hear how i escaped the balrog

legolas: sure we've got time

gandalf: *quote from the book* long time i fell...long i fell and he fell with me. his fire was about me i was burned. then we plunged into deep water and all was dark. cold it was as the tide of death, almost it froze my heart. tither i came at last to the utmost foundations of stone. he was with me still. his fire was quenched, but now he was a thing of slime, stronger than a strangeling snake. we fought far under the liveing earth. ever he clutched me and ever i hewed him, till at last he fled into dark tunnels. far, far below the deepest delvings of the dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. even sauron knows them not, they are older than he. now i have walked there but i will bring no report to darken the light of day. in dispair my enemy was my only hope, i pursude him. thus he brought me back at last to the secret ways of kazad-dum. ever up now we went, untill we came to the endless stair. from the lowest dungeon to the highest peak it climbed, acending in an unbroken spiral in many thousand steps, untill it isued at last at durins tower. out he sprang, and even as i came behind he burst into new flame. a great smoke rose about us. ice fell like rain. i threw down my enemy, and he fell from a high place and broke the mountianside where he smote in his ruin

*gandalf finds eveyone sleeping and resists the urge to kill them*

gandalf: ok then we need to run to rohan

aragorn: *snort* wha...oh oh yeah

*they go out of fangorn. gandalf takes out two halfs of coconut*

legolas: those are lothlorian coconuts, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell.


*aragorn wispers in gandalfs ear*


*meanwhile not more than a swallows flight away*

treebeard: i told gandalf i would keep you safe and so safe is where ill keep you

pippen: and where is it

treebeard: what

merry: safe

treebeard: root and twig you two are stupid

*the white rider and the other guys get to rohan*

gandalf: try not to say anything stupid while your here

*all look at gimli*

gimli: what

*hama stops them*

hama: i cannot let you before the king so armed gandalf greyheam

gandalf: why do people keep giveing me new last names. i though jughead was a good name

*they go inside*

gandalf: the courtisy of your hall is somewhat lessend of late theoden king

theoden: why should i welcome you atomicboy

gandalf: gandalf. im gandalf

theoden: oh im terribley sorry gandalf its just so dark in here

gandalf: mabey you should get some of those japanese lanterns

theoden: say thats not a bad idea

wormtoung: ill news is an ill guest they say

theoden: i dident think that was bad news

gandalf: i did not pass through fire and death to listen to a duMB4$$ make stupid excuses

wormtoung: take his staff

*aragorn, legolas, and gimli make short work of rohans guards*

aragorn: crouching tiger

legolas: praying mantis

gimli: low kick to the balls. and people say dwarfs are weakend because of their size

*gimli steps on wormtoung*

gandalf: get out of there saruman

*theoden turns into a 60 year old man again*

theoden: wow i had some weard dreams. i actually thought of getting japanese lanterns to put in the golden hall

gandalf: this is what i get for trying to help

theoden: hey who let wormtoung in here. get my sword

legolas: who let the wormtoung in hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo who let the worm... what the baha men arent cool anymore

gimli: not sence the second age

theoden: kill wormtoung

white dragon: thats not a good idea

theoden: why

white dragon: he moves the plot along

theoden: are you sure about that

white dragon: yes its in the script and in the book.

theoden: are you sure


theoden: no

white dragon: good now let him go

theoden: ok then. by the way where is my son

gandalf: well um...a funney thing happened to me on the way over to edoras

white dragon:.....im going to have a nervious breakdown now

*theoden burys his son*

theoden: now who am i going to take to the base ball game

gandalf: well uh i love base ball

theoden: why are those kids up there on that hill. its dangerous up there.

*one kid falls off the horse*

theoden: well there goes one

*kids tell them everything*

theoden: please dont tell me it gets worse

gandalf: it gets worse

theoden: i told you not to tell me that

aragorn: you are gonna be owned if you stay here. you need to fight

theoden: ide rather hide

gimli: well if you hide behind your doors the orcs are going to huff and puff and blow your fortress down

*all look at gimli*

gimli: what. what did i say

02-24-2003, 08:59 PM

that was great...remember there are more scenes in TTT, this is just like half the movie, i hope you post the 2nd half!

Good luck!

Skate Boy
02-24-2003, 09:04 PM
Very good. I liked it.:D

02-24-2003, 09:12 PM
i like, i like...funny..

Reborn Outcast
02-24-2003, 09:48 PM
Good story. :D I don't have any suggestions because I stink at stories even though I am working on one...

02-24-2003, 09:53 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
I stink at stories even though I am working on one...

Post it somewhere. Let us be the judges of that...

Why is it that when someone posts these, they don't get the help they wanted? I dunno what to do about it, I liked it...

Reborn Outcast
02-24-2003, 10:09 PM
Did you miss the dead marshes or was that after theoden in his hall?

And Katarn i'll post it a little later on in the week.

02-24-2003, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
Did you miss the dead marshes or was that after theoden in his hall?

i cant remember i think that something happened with frodo after mary and pippen meet treebeard

02-25-2003, 04:01 AM
Theoden bit was great!

Love this stuff whitedragon - keep it coming!

02-25-2003, 05:39 PM
Originally posted by whitedragon

*frodo wakes up from dream*

frodo: IM NOT GAY!!!


You're great at this stuff dragon!