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Reborn Outcast
03-29-2003, 02:38 PM
This is pretty funny... :D

Only in America...
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America...
are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America...
do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America...
do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a "diet" coke.

Only in America...
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.

Only in America...
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America...
do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".

:rofl: Its so true.

ZBomber
03-29-2003, 02:40 PM
Yeh, I remember reading that somewhere. I was gonna put it in my colelction of funny thigns thread, but that died fast. :D

Jed
03-29-2003, 03:10 PM
I got that as an email.

Nearly pissed my pants the first time I read it. :D

Reborn Outcast
03-29-2003, 03:59 PM
I've seen some others.. I'll try and find em.

RpTheHotrod
03-29-2003, 04:12 PM
It's ticks...not tics ;)


yeah, I'm being picky

Darth Homer
03-29-2003, 04:18 PM
Only in America...
are people allergic to food (you think someone in Somalia is lactose intollerant?)
Gratuitously stolen from Chris Rock

Only in America...
do we make part 4 and then go back years later to make the first part :D

Reborn Outcast
03-29-2003, 04:31 PM
Lol here's some more...

Do you know why?

Do you know?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on the "Start" button?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (What a silly question!)

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


And some more, Only in America....


Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.

Only in America do we have drive-through ATM machines with Braille.

Only in America is there a box for a "blind" person to check on their tax return.

Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

greedo626
03-29-2003, 05:21 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
This is pretty funny... :D

Only in America...
do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a "diet" coke.



lol, that one's so true:D . and I never understood why threre are fewer rolls in a pack then hotdogs:confused:

RoM[Chrono]
03-29-2003, 05:42 PM
You want questions? Go here (http://www.crazythoughts.com)

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
:D

Kstar__2
03-29-2003, 05:49 PM
:rofl:

that's silly:D

El Sitherino
03-29-2003, 06:35 PM
only in america will you have a person with an eating disorder where they eat alot of food and puke it up. you think third world countries will allow someone to live after eating the food and voluntarily puke it up?
"taken from george carlin"

El Sitherino
03-29-2003, 06:38 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
Lol here's some more...

Do you know why?

Do you know?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (What a silly question!)

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


And some more, Only in America....


Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.

Only in America do we have drive-through ATM machines with Braille.

Only in America is there a box for a "blind" person to check on their tax return.

Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we
won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. those are all george carlin jokes.

TheHobGoblin
03-29-2003, 07:52 PM
Only in New York do you get neck pains from constantly looking over your shoulder when you're alone at night.

Pedantic
03-29-2003, 08:06 PM
Only in America can protesters block traffic in intersections. Oh, wait, that's why this country is great. Try doing that in China. Yeah, just try.

ZBomber
03-29-2003, 08:26 PM
Originally posted by Pedantic
Only in America can protesters block traffic in intersections. Oh, wait, that's why this country is great. Try doing that in China. Yeah, just try.

Ah, not a big deal man. Hes not making fun of America. He is American, after all. ;)

Seph
03-29-2003, 10:40 PM
here's (http://www.fungrams.com) some more look around have fun!:D :D :D :D

Reborn Outcast
03-29-2003, 10:56 PM
Seph I clicked on the "HaHa" link and I finally found out that you had to ctrl+alt+delete to get out of it lol.

Seph
03-29-2003, 11:37 PM
Originally posted by Reborn Outcast
Seph I clicked on the "HaHa" link and I finally found out that you had to ctrl+alt+delete to get out of it lol.
or you go to 250 pop ups!!!