whitedragon
04-16-2003, 05:19 PM
sence this is my post im going to call myself a jackass
the adventures of white dragon (in the real world) episode 2: a bad day to be a dragon (inspierd by the panda cronicals)
*our story opens in a roman arena where we see two gladiators fighting. suddenly a gigantic shadow appears and a gigantic foot crushes a gladiator*
optimus prime: come on ian we need your help
*the other gladiator takes off his helmit and shows himself to be ian*
ian: optimus prime? but i thought this was gladiator?
optimus prime: never mind that right now the autobots need you
ian: well ok whatever
*optimus prime and ian fly off across the earth toward a grassy plain*
ian: uh prime so who are we fighting
cell: MWUHAHAHAHA so they bring another fighter to defeat me but even he cannot stand agenct my perfect form.
ian: oooooh boy
ash: dont worry will help right pikachu
pikachu: no you little punk
harry potter: i can beat him in quidditch
morpheus: you are the one ian
vader: if you only knew the power of the darkside
john kimple: IM A COP YOU IDIOT!!!
big gay al: IM SUPER!
ian:......................
carrot top: you can dial down the center with 1800-CALL-ATT
ian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*ian wakes up*
ian: i have got to stop eating those bean burittos so late at night
*in a internet cafe not to far away a spookey character is writeing a very disterbing message on the net*
spookey character: 1 4M @M l33T hAx0R AnD 1 WiLL R0X0R j00 N0O85 1 @m TH3 mOS+ 4W@$OmESt 4w5OME mR. 4w5Om3 Who eV3R @W5Om3D The NE+
*ian walks in and walks over to the guy*
ian: HI!!!
spookey character: I DIDENT DO IT
ian: riiiiiight
spookey character: you really shouldent sneek up on people like that
*after an hour or two ian gets back home only to find that his house has been broken into*
ian: SHOW YOURSELFS FIENDS
special agent baiter: hello mr. ian my name is special agent baiter. im with the FBI
ian: baiter!? your name is baiter???
special agent baiter: yes it is
ian: do you fish
special agent baiter: yes i do
ian: are you any good at it?
special agent baiter: yes i am a master at fishing
ian: *trying to hold back laughter* so i could call you master ba_ naw its much to easy a set up
special agent baiter: i think that you should come with me
ian: what did i do
special agent baiter: about two hours ago in a local internet cafe a man was posting l33t all over the net and after an hour or so
the cafe blew up like KA BOOM CRASH SMASH BANG BIFF BAM WHAM....*ehem* anyway we suspect it was you sence you hold
the last leet speak generator in the world.
ian: in other words i was the only person who downloaded it
special agent baiter: your comeing with me mister
ian: it wasent me! it was the two armed man
special agent baiter: HA likely story like theres really some two armed man walking around here. your under arrest dirtbag!
ian: WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT THING BEHIND YOU!!!
special agent baiter: what where!
ian: yoink
*ian runs away*
special agent baiter: i dont see anything where is it.....
*ian runs to a local 7-11 and stops outside of it to catch his breath*
ian: damn master ba_
jay: yo man what you doing on our turf
silent bob:....
jay: shut up fatty hes not just passing by hes tryin to steal our spot
ian: hey arent you guys...naaa you couldent be
silent bob:....
ian: nice to meet you silent bob im ian but im know as white dragon on the internet
jay: dude what the hell is the internet
silent bob:....
jay: oh yeah that thing. so ian my man what brings you to our humble domain
ian: running from the FBI
silent bob:....
jay: i hear you silent bob those FBI jerks can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
silent bob:....
ian: well snootch to the nooch guys
silent bob:....
jay: snoogans
*meanwhile not more than a swallows flight away*
special agent baiter: i still dont see anything...wait a minut. i think ive been duped
*ian goes into a small diner not to far away. he sits down and thinks about what to do next
but dimises that when he sees that they serve corn beef hash*
waitress: can i take your order
ian: BRING ON THE BEEF!!!
*ian sees that the tv is on*
news caster: in todays top story a mad bomber blew up an internet cafe today for no apparent reason. the bomber is identafied as, first name ian. last name unknown.
ian: hey thats me. awsome! im on the tv!
*special agent baiters voice comes on a loud speaker*
special agent baiter: ian we know your in there. come out with your hands up.
ian: (come on ian think. think! what am i gonna do...i wonder what im going to have for dinner tonite? that macaroni is just going to go bad if i dont cook it.)
special agent baiter: ian are you even listening to me
*ian looks around and sees a man with a cowboy hat on*
ian: sir could i barrow that hat
man with hat: what do i get in return
ian: how about a nickel
man with hat: you got yerself a deal buddy
*ian walks out the diner with the hat on*
ian: dont shoot im just a guy with a cowboy hat trying to get out of the line of fire
special agent baiter: ok just hurry up and go
cop 1: uh sir thats the bomber
special agent baiter: no its not
cop 1: yes it is. you can see his face plain as day
special agent baiter: well let me tell you something mr. smartypants. i know for a fact that ian does not ware cowboy hats...i just let him get away dident i
*cops start shooting at ian as he runs down a drain pipe and then goes down the huge pipe untill he gets to the end where the water is draining out over a water fall
"you know like in the fugitive. duh"*
special agent baiter: end of the line ian. just give up
ian: im telling you it was the two armed man
special agent baiter: i wont listen to any more lies. your comeing with me
ian: NEVER!!!
*ian jumps*
special agent baiter: NO! DONT DO IT!!!
ian: ow
*special agent baiter looks down and sees that ian only fell five feet into a two inch pool of water*
special agent baiter: ooooh hes good
*meanwhile*
spookey character: MWUHAHAHAHAHA everything is proceeding according to plan...i really need a life
*we find ian running around a big city...wait there are no big citys in hillsborough north carolina*
ian: man i really need a some money
*he sees an old lady with a cane and picks up a baseball bat and walks over to her*
ian: well it worked in grand theft auto
*just as he is about to swing the bat she turns around and hits him with her cane*
ian: ouch! that never happend in grand theft auto 3
old lady: oh yeah well this never happend eather
*old lady pulls out a gun and starts shooting*
old lady: YOUR LUCKEY I FORGOT MY GLASSES TODAY YOU LITTLE PUNK!!!!
*inside FBI headquarters*
special agent baiter: ian got away again
the chief: yes you let him get away
special agent baiter: hey chief you want to hear me tell a joke...knock knock ( from catch me if you can)
*the phone rings*
special agent baiter: hello
little girl: you will die in 7 days (from the ring)
special agent baiter: sorry wrong number
little girl: oh excuse me. sorry
special agent baiter: its no problem. bye
*phone rings again*
ian: hello special agent baiter this is ian.
special agent baiter: ian? where are you
ian: oh well im...wait your trying to trick me
cop 1: uh sir weve traced his call. hes somewhere in the building.
*all the agents turn around and see ian sitting in a chair a few feet away from them talking on a cell phone. ian had on a really terrible fake handlebar mustash*
special agent baiter: uh ian
ian: i am not ian i am snidley whiplash (insert stupid 1920's badguy cartoon laugh here)
special agent baiter: ok sorry about that
*ian runs away*
ian: yoink
cop 1: uh sir that was the bomber
special agent baiter: im getting really tierd of your smartass attitude...that was him wasent it
*the agents follow ian to another internet cafe*
special agent baiter: the game is up ian. surrender!
ian: wait theres the two armed man right there
spookey character: DUUUUDE how did you find me out
ian: oh no
special agent baiter: my god its him
dell dude: DUUUUDE your getting a dell
ian: i thought you were arrested
dell dude: DUUUUDE i escaped
special agent baiter: so it was you who blew up the cafe
dell dude: DUUUUDE i dident blow it up
special agent baiter: it says right here that you there was a "mad bombing"
cop 1: i think it was supposed to say "mad spamming"
ian: must be a typo
dell dude: DUUUUDE thats alot of typos
ian: ok that dude thing is getting annoying
dell dude: DUUUUDE
special agent baiter: ok mr. dell dude im takeing you in
dell dude: DUUUUDE your going to have to catch me
ian: start the cool chaceing music
*scooby doo shows up and turns on some stupid 60's music, but then gets stragled by ian*
dell dude: DUUUUDE im getting out of here without music
*ian and special agent baiter run after the dell dude*
special agent baiter: i wish i had my car
ian: i wish i had my mp3 player. wait i have an idea
*ian throws a red and white ball on the ground*
special agent baiter: wow great idea. throwing a ball on the ground is really working well
ian: CHARIZARD I CHOOSE YOU
special agent baiter: dont tell me thats what i think it is
*that really big dinosaur/dragon thingy comes out in a flash of light*
special agent baiter: what in the_
ian: lets go charizard
charizard: yeah yeah yeah.
*ian jumps on the big dinosaur/dragon thingys back and they fly towards the dell dude*
dell dude: DUUUUDE what the heck is that thing
ian: charizard uh tackel attack. no wait...uh fire spin..no uh flame thrower, NO wait uh
charizard: how about i just beat the living hell out of him
ian: that works for me
*the big dinosaur/dragon thingy thus beats the living hell out of the dell dude. what a day*
dell dude: d-dd-duuude this sucks
ian: charizard return
charizard: NO I DONT WANT TO GO BACK IN THE BALL
ian: ok then bugger off
special agent baiter: nice job ian. you almost killed the dell dude. you would make a nice agent
ian: thanks but i dont really do things that the FBI would like
special agent baiter: oh well see you later
ian: or mabey sooner
special agent baiter: lets hope not
ian: dumbass
special agent baiter: jerk
*meanwhile somewhere in minasota*
dragonslayer: the dell dude did not complete his task. when he gets out of prison he is to be executed MWUHAHAHAHAHA
*dragonslayers door is broken in*
chinese food dilivery guy: oh so you here dis time. i thought i just break in door with crowbar like last time
dragonslayer: uh thanks just put the food there on the table
chinese food dilivery guy: water your plants they look like crap
THE END...OR IS IT...actually it isent...ill shut up
the adventures of white dragon (in the real world) episode 2: a bad day to be a dragon (inspierd by the panda cronicals)
*our story opens in a roman arena where we see two gladiators fighting. suddenly a gigantic shadow appears and a gigantic foot crushes a gladiator*
optimus prime: come on ian we need your help
*the other gladiator takes off his helmit and shows himself to be ian*
ian: optimus prime? but i thought this was gladiator?
optimus prime: never mind that right now the autobots need you
ian: well ok whatever
*optimus prime and ian fly off across the earth toward a grassy plain*
ian: uh prime so who are we fighting
cell: MWUHAHAHAHA so they bring another fighter to defeat me but even he cannot stand agenct my perfect form.
ian: oooooh boy
ash: dont worry will help right pikachu
pikachu: no you little punk
harry potter: i can beat him in quidditch
morpheus: you are the one ian
vader: if you only knew the power of the darkside
john kimple: IM A COP YOU IDIOT!!!
big gay al: IM SUPER!
ian:......................
carrot top: you can dial down the center with 1800-CALL-ATT
ian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*ian wakes up*
ian: i have got to stop eating those bean burittos so late at night
*in a internet cafe not to far away a spookey character is writeing a very disterbing message on the net*
spookey character: 1 4M @M l33T hAx0R AnD 1 WiLL R0X0R j00 N0O85 1 @m TH3 mOS+ 4W@$OmESt 4w5OME mR. 4w5Om3 Who eV3R @W5Om3D The NE+
*ian walks in and walks over to the guy*
ian: HI!!!
spookey character: I DIDENT DO IT
ian: riiiiiight
spookey character: you really shouldent sneek up on people like that
*after an hour or two ian gets back home only to find that his house has been broken into*
ian: SHOW YOURSELFS FIENDS
special agent baiter: hello mr. ian my name is special agent baiter. im with the FBI
ian: baiter!? your name is baiter???
special agent baiter: yes it is
ian: do you fish
special agent baiter: yes i do
ian: are you any good at it?
special agent baiter: yes i am a master at fishing
ian: *trying to hold back laughter* so i could call you master ba_ naw its much to easy a set up
special agent baiter: i think that you should come with me
ian: what did i do
special agent baiter: about two hours ago in a local internet cafe a man was posting l33t all over the net and after an hour or so
the cafe blew up like KA BOOM CRASH SMASH BANG BIFF BAM WHAM....*ehem* anyway we suspect it was you sence you hold
the last leet speak generator in the world.
ian: in other words i was the only person who downloaded it
special agent baiter: your comeing with me mister
ian: it wasent me! it was the two armed man
special agent baiter: HA likely story like theres really some two armed man walking around here. your under arrest dirtbag!
ian: WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT THING BEHIND YOU!!!
special agent baiter: what where!
ian: yoink
*ian runs away*
special agent baiter: i dont see anything where is it.....
*ian runs to a local 7-11 and stops outside of it to catch his breath*
ian: damn master ba_
jay: yo man what you doing on our turf
silent bob:....
jay: shut up fatty hes not just passing by hes tryin to steal our spot
ian: hey arent you guys...naaa you couldent be
silent bob:....
ian: nice to meet you silent bob im ian but im know as white dragon on the internet
jay: dude what the hell is the internet
silent bob:....
jay: oh yeah that thing. so ian my man what brings you to our humble domain
ian: running from the FBI
silent bob:....
jay: i hear you silent bob those FBI jerks can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
silent bob:....
ian: well snootch to the nooch guys
silent bob:....
jay: snoogans
*meanwhile not more than a swallows flight away*
special agent baiter: i still dont see anything...wait a minut. i think ive been duped
*ian goes into a small diner not to far away. he sits down and thinks about what to do next
but dimises that when he sees that they serve corn beef hash*
waitress: can i take your order
ian: BRING ON THE BEEF!!!
*ian sees that the tv is on*
news caster: in todays top story a mad bomber blew up an internet cafe today for no apparent reason. the bomber is identafied as, first name ian. last name unknown.
ian: hey thats me. awsome! im on the tv!
*special agent baiters voice comes on a loud speaker*
special agent baiter: ian we know your in there. come out with your hands up.
ian: (come on ian think. think! what am i gonna do...i wonder what im going to have for dinner tonite? that macaroni is just going to go bad if i dont cook it.)
special agent baiter: ian are you even listening to me
*ian looks around and sees a man with a cowboy hat on*
ian: sir could i barrow that hat
man with hat: what do i get in return
ian: how about a nickel
man with hat: you got yerself a deal buddy
*ian walks out the diner with the hat on*
ian: dont shoot im just a guy with a cowboy hat trying to get out of the line of fire
special agent baiter: ok just hurry up and go
cop 1: uh sir thats the bomber
special agent baiter: no its not
cop 1: yes it is. you can see his face plain as day
special agent baiter: well let me tell you something mr. smartypants. i know for a fact that ian does not ware cowboy hats...i just let him get away dident i
*cops start shooting at ian as he runs down a drain pipe and then goes down the huge pipe untill he gets to the end where the water is draining out over a water fall
"you know like in the fugitive. duh"*
special agent baiter: end of the line ian. just give up
ian: im telling you it was the two armed man
special agent baiter: i wont listen to any more lies. your comeing with me
ian: NEVER!!!
*ian jumps*
special agent baiter: NO! DONT DO IT!!!
ian: ow
*special agent baiter looks down and sees that ian only fell five feet into a two inch pool of water*
special agent baiter: ooooh hes good
*meanwhile*
spookey character: MWUHAHAHAHAHA everything is proceeding according to plan...i really need a life
*we find ian running around a big city...wait there are no big citys in hillsborough north carolina*
ian: man i really need a some money
*he sees an old lady with a cane and picks up a baseball bat and walks over to her*
ian: well it worked in grand theft auto
*just as he is about to swing the bat she turns around and hits him with her cane*
ian: ouch! that never happend in grand theft auto 3
old lady: oh yeah well this never happend eather
*old lady pulls out a gun and starts shooting*
old lady: YOUR LUCKEY I FORGOT MY GLASSES TODAY YOU LITTLE PUNK!!!!
*inside FBI headquarters*
special agent baiter: ian got away again
the chief: yes you let him get away
special agent baiter: hey chief you want to hear me tell a joke...knock knock ( from catch me if you can)
*the phone rings*
special agent baiter: hello
little girl: you will die in 7 days (from the ring)
special agent baiter: sorry wrong number
little girl: oh excuse me. sorry
special agent baiter: its no problem. bye
*phone rings again*
ian: hello special agent baiter this is ian.
special agent baiter: ian? where are you
ian: oh well im...wait your trying to trick me
cop 1: uh sir weve traced his call. hes somewhere in the building.
*all the agents turn around and see ian sitting in a chair a few feet away from them talking on a cell phone. ian had on a really terrible fake handlebar mustash*
special agent baiter: uh ian
ian: i am not ian i am snidley whiplash (insert stupid 1920's badguy cartoon laugh here)
special agent baiter: ok sorry about that
*ian runs away*
ian: yoink
cop 1: uh sir that was the bomber
special agent baiter: im getting really tierd of your smartass attitude...that was him wasent it
*the agents follow ian to another internet cafe*
special agent baiter: the game is up ian. surrender!
ian: wait theres the two armed man right there
spookey character: DUUUUDE how did you find me out
ian: oh no
special agent baiter: my god its him
dell dude: DUUUUDE your getting a dell
ian: i thought you were arrested
dell dude: DUUUUDE i escaped
special agent baiter: so it was you who blew up the cafe
dell dude: DUUUUDE i dident blow it up
special agent baiter: it says right here that you there was a "mad bombing"
cop 1: i think it was supposed to say "mad spamming"
ian: must be a typo
dell dude: DUUUUDE thats alot of typos
ian: ok that dude thing is getting annoying
dell dude: DUUUUDE
special agent baiter: ok mr. dell dude im takeing you in
dell dude: DUUUUDE your going to have to catch me
ian: start the cool chaceing music
*scooby doo shows up and turns on some stupid 60's music, but then gets stragled by ian*
dell dude: DUUUUDE im getting out of here without music
*ian and special agent baiter run after the dell dude*
special agent baiter: i wish i had my car
ian: i wish i had my mp3 player. wait i have an idea
*ian throws a red and white ball on the ground*
special agent baiter: wow great idea. throwing a ball on the ground is really working well
ian: CHARIZARD I CHOOSE YOU
special agent baiter: dont tell me thats what i think it is
*that really big dinosaur/dragon thingy comes out in a flash of light*
special agent baiter: what in the_
ian: lets go charizard
charizard: yeah yeah yeah.
*ian jumps on the big dinosaur/dragon thingys back and they fly towards the dell dude*
dell dude: DUUUUDE what the heck is that thing
ian: charizard uh tackel attack. no wait...uh fire spin..no uh flame thrower, NO wait uh
charizard: how about i just beat the living hell out of him
ian: that works for me
*the big dinosaur/dragon thingy thus beats the living hell out of the dell dude. what a day*
dell dude: d-dd-duuude this sucks
ian: charizard return
charizard: NO I DONT WANT TO GO BACK IN THE BALL
ian: ok then bugger off
special agent baiter: nice job ian. you almost killed the dell dude. you would make a nice agent
ian: thanks but i dont really do things that the FBI would like
special agent baiter: oh well see you later
ian: or mabey sooner
special agent baiter: lets hope not
ian: dumbass
special agent baiter: jerk
*meanwhile somewhere in minasota*
dragonslayer: the dell dude did not complete his task. when he gets out of prison he is to be executed MWUHAHAHAHAHA
*dragonslayers door is broken in*
chinese food dilivery guy: oh so you here dis time. i thought i just break in door with crowbar like last time
dragonslayer: uh thanks just put the food there on the table
chinese food dilivery guy: water your plants they look like crap
THE END...OR IS IT...actually it isent...ill shut up