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Dagobahn Eagle
04-22-2003, 08:28 PM
I'm worried. And I just wanted to get this out in a way, and the anonymous WWW seems like a good way to do that (I might actually talk to someone else, though).

So there's this girl who lives next door from me. Two years ago, her parents divorced. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, and in general, she's been really depressed, although she's been appearing to feel better lately.

Now, today, she came on the school bus with a bandage over her wrist and she looked really sad/depressed, or, how to put it, shocked as in the way you'd be shocked when something new and terrible happened. She looked like she wanted to cry.

Then, when I talked to her, she lost that expression and was all "happy", and gave another explanation for her wrist injury. The whole thing just creeps me out. Call me overreacting, but a friend of mine tried to kill himself when I was 12. Again, call me stupid, but I've got this nagging feeling that she might have cut her pulse or something. The whole thing with her being all sad and that bandage just scares me. I know there's a 90% chance I'm overreacting, but she's just one of those people you just "can't" lose;), and she really looked like she was on the verge of crying (might be for a totally different reason, though, I know).

I'll be glad when I find out she's okay. I'm just all paranoid *I guess* after that other guy and just assume the worst.

Look, even if this post seems ridiculous to you, I don't care, tell me that too.

munik
04-22-2003, 08:43 PM
So what is this about? There's no direction or question. Is there something here to discuss?

C'jais
04-22-2003, 08:46 PM
She might very well have indulged herself in self-harm.

I've heard that the physical pain and sight of running blood calms the mental torment inside. But what do I know.

Anyway, if she's doing that, tell her to stop immediately. Do not let her go down that road. It becomes like a drug, and will only worsen if she doesn't stop it right now.

I don't want to freak you out on purpose, but your caring seems genuine enough to me, and warranted. Then again, it might just be an accident, but if you let it go on for too long to see if it's self-harm, it might end up being too late.

Anyway, talk to her, her family and her friends for clues and evidence to the injury. What I'd do.

El Sitherino
04-22-2003, 09:07 PM
Originally posted by C'jais
She might very well have indulged herself in self-harm.

I've heard that the physical pain and sight of running blood calms the mental torment inside. But what do I know.

Anyway, if she's doing that, tell her to stop immediately. Do not let her go down that road. It becomes like a drug, and will only worsen if she doesn't stop it right now.

I don't want to freak you out on purpose, but your caring seems genuine enough to me, and warranted. Then again, it might just be an accident, but if you let it go on for too long to see if it's self-harm, it might end up being too late.

Anyway, talk to her, her family and her friends for clues and evidence to the injury. What I'd do. as a person who once got into deep states of depression you need her to stop like jais said. it relieves torment well but when she starts making the vertical cuts she if she doesnt stop the bleeding immediately she could have severe blood loss. i have a chemical depression and my parents divorced when i was 7. i fell into deep depression at that point and i had started cutting. i am over it now but it has taken lots of help from my friends and gf. maybe you should help her out. uhmmm... ask her to talk to you about her feelings. hope our advice helps you.

Dagobahn Eagle
04-22-2003, 09:30 PM
I've been trough depression too, and suicidal to the point where I spent days figuring out a good way to do it, and even tried to write a fare-well letter (I know, it's scary to look back at).

Jais, Sith, thanks. What I consider doing is talking to the social worker and get some advice for her.

Cosmos Jack
04-23-2003, 03:52 AM
If you are really worried about your friend you should do something. Most female attempts at suicide are more a cry for help. She may have been playing around with the idea. I see people all the time that have cut on them selves, but nothing sever.

Still if you really feel she may be suicidal or even thinking about it as you did you should talk to her or someone that can get her help? It would be sad to think that someone knew she was depressed, but didn't answer her call for help in time....

SkinWalker
04-23-2003, 01:23 PM
I would suggest speaking to your school guidance counselor as soon as possible. At the very least you'll settle some of your own fears by passing the information you have. At most, you'll be saving a life.

Don't keep the burden of what to do. Let someone with more experience deal with it, it's what they get paid for. Then, when it's all done, maintain your friendship with the young lady, she may need an ear to bend even if everything you've observed is innocent.

RpTheHotrod
04-23-2003, 01:35 PM
I used to cut myself before.

There are two pains, physical pain and emotional pain.

In a depressed individual...there is a balance. Once emotional pain becomes to great, that side of the balance goes down. if you cause physical pain to yourself, it brings the physical pain back down and the emotional pain back up.

Emotional pain is extremely hard to handle and lasts for a very long time. Physical pain is "quick fix" because it does some serious pain at once, but then ceases.

Would you rather slowly and painfully try to work your joint back into place? Or would you rather just *CRACK*, painful....but pop it back into place.

Cutters do the same thing.


Also, it can be a form of punishment on themselves for "failing"

El Sitherino
04-23-2003, 08:08 PM
Originally posted by SkinWalker
I would suggest speaking to your school guidance counselor as soon as possible. well i don't know if this goes for his friend but the guidance counselor made it worse for me. she's so stupid in her theories on suicide. it just made me want to die even more. she kept saying jesus doesn't want you to do that. I was sitting there like..:eyeraise:.(this was back when i was christian) i was found later that day in my classroom during lunch with my arms deeply cut, about half an inch, near to the bone.
my blood was all over the place and i was almost dead. i was sent to a psychiatric ward for the young and mentally instable.
I was released about a month later. i was then agnostic. still am but then i picked up buddhism about 4 years ago.
I found help in Buddhism. i don't follow any division of buddism, im more of a freelance buddhist.

Dagobahn Eagle
04-23-2003, 09:02 PM
Also, it can be a form of punishment on themselves for "failing"
My sentiments exactly.

I found help in Buddhism. i don't follow any division of Buddism, I'm more of a freelance buddhist.Agreed.

Even if you aren't a Buddhist -even if you are the follower of some other religion, even-, you should study it. Even if you don't believe in the religious part, there's a lot of excellent advice on concentration, self-image, mind power and the likes. I would've loved to have Siddharta as my counselor:D.

Well i don't know if this goes for his friend but the guidance counselor made it worse for me. she's so stupid in her theories on suicide. it just made me want to die even more. she kept saying jesus doesn't want you to do that. I was sitting there like..
Who would have knew, same with me (minus the cutting part). I won't get into details, but she called me mean and all that. I really hurt.

I also heard about this anorectic girl who had her counsellor call her mean. It made her cry on her bed for several hours, litteraly.

Dagobahn Eagle
04-25-2003, 09:36 PM
I got it sorted out, she's doing OK now.

Edit: Everyone, thank you a lot for replying.