View Full Version : Monty Forums' Quest for the Holy.......Thing

Lost Welshman
04-25-2003, 03:09 PM
Lucas Forums 2003 AD
On the edge of a swamp, or The swamp as its known to forum goers, an Admin, by the name of Boba Rhett was striding through the wilderness. He was on a search for a group of moderators to join him on his quest to take over the castle Spamalot. He came to a small castle……

Castle Guard: Halt! Who Go’s There!

Rhett: It is I… Boba Rhett, son of Uther Pen-Windu of the castle of Administrators. An Admin of the Forums. Defeater of the Spammers, Sovereign of ALL Forums!

Castle Guard:….. Pull the other one!

Rhett: I AM!! And this is my faithful servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of Moderators that will join me in the court of Spamalot. I must speak with your lord and master.

Castle Guard: What ridden….on a horse?

Rhett: Yes

Castle Guard: You’re using coconuts….

Rhett: What?

Castle Guard: You’ve got two empty halfs of coconuts and you’re banging them together.

Rhett: So? We have ridden since the spams of winter covered this land. Through the valley of the Jedi, Trough the sena..

Castle Guard: Where d’you get the coconuts?

Rhett: ….We found them

Castle Guard: Found them? In the Lucas Forums? The coconuts tropical!

Rhett: What do you mean?

Castle Guard: Well, this is a temperate zone…

Rhett: A Swallow may fly south with the sun, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Castle Guard: Are you suggesting coconuts Migrate?

Rhett: Not at all, they could be carried.

Castle Guard: What a swallow carrying a coconut?

Rhett: It could grip it by the husk.

Castle Guard: Its not a question of where it grips it, it’s a simple question of weight ratios.

Rhett: I don’t have time for this, come Patsy.

So Rhett had gained nothing, apart from the urge to search for information about swallows. He continued on his quest for loyal moderators.

So Rhett came to a small thread in the swamp, a sort of… going away thread….
A few members of the forums were hanging around the thread

There was a dong from a bell, someone was walking with a cart of people.

Matt Windu: Bring out ya Troll!
Matt Windu: Bring out ya Troll!
Matt Windu: Bring out ya troll

InsaneSith entered the forum with a newbie.

InsaneSith: Here’s one
Matt Windu: Nine-pence
Newbie: I'm not a troll
Matt Windu: what?
InsaneSith: Nothing, ‘ere’s your nine-pence.
Newbie: I'm not a troll!
Matt Windu: ‘ere, He says he’s not a troll?
InsaneSith: Yes he is
Newbie: I'm not!
Matt Windu: He isn’t
InsaneSith: Well he will be soon, he’s very new.
Newbie: I’m getting better
InsaneSith: No you’re not, you’ll be an annoying troll in a moment.
Matt Windu: I can’t take him like that, its against regulation
Newbie: I don’t want to go on the cart!
InsaneSith: Oh don’t be such a newbie
Matt Windu: I can’t take him.
Newbie: I feel fine!
InsaneSith: Aw come on, do us a favor!
Matt Windu: I can’t!
InsaneSith: well can you hang around a couple of minutes? He wont be long
Matt Windu: I’ve gotta go to the valley, they’ve had nine today
Newbie: I think I’ll go and post nice things
InsaneSith: You’re not fooling anyone you know. Look, isn’t there anything you can do
Newbie: I feel Kind, I feel Generous

Matt Windu had a quick look around, nobody was watching so with the click of a button the newbie was I.P. banned, and he fell into the cart. Rhett rode past with his faithful servant Patsy,

InsaneSith: Who’s that then?
Matt Windu: I dunno. He must be an Admin like me.
InsaneSith: Why?
Matt Windu: He hasn’t got s*** all over him.

04-25-2003, 03:18 PM

Very good LW. cant wait to see the rest

04-25-2003, 04:40 PM
very amusing!!! :D

I'm a great fan of Monty Python :)

04-25-2003, 04:42 PM
Nice one =)

Clemme w/Stick
04-25-2003, 04:45 PM

The movie will always be better :D!

Anyways its a nice job so far, lets get the rest of it :D!


04-25-2003, 04:50 PM
Hehe, i like it so far, please continue! Monty Python holds a special place in everyone heart im sure, and if it doesnt well, its probably cause they dont have a heart :p

04-25-2003, 04:52 PM
Lol, nicely done.
*hint hint mention me*

Boba Rhett
04-25-2003, 05:14 PM
Mewhohahahahahaha. :D Delicious.

04-25-2003, 05:40 PM
I can only wonder who will play the part of the Black Knight... :D :p :D


Lost Welshman
04-25-2003, 05:51 PM
Rhett continued until he came to an open land, with a promising looking castle in the distance.

Rhett: Old Woman!
Cjais: Man!
Rhett: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there.
Cjais: I’m 37
Rhett: What?
Cjais: I’m 37 I’m not old
Rhett: Well I can’t just call you man
Cjais: You could say Denis
Rhett: Well I didn't know you were called Denis.
Cjais: Well you didn’t bother to find out did you?
Rhett: I did say sorry about the Old Woman, but your custom title is ‘Old Woman’
Cjais: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior.
Rhett: Well I am an Admin.
Cjais: Oh Admin eh, very nice and ‘ow d’you get that eh? By exploiting the swampies, by ‘anging on to out dated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there’s ever going to be any progress ..
Wes: Cjais there’s some lovely filth down ‘ere. Ooh… how d’you do?
Rhett: How do you do good man. I am Rhett, Admin of the Lucas Forums. Who’s castle is that?
Wes: Admin of what?
Rhett: The Forums
Wes: Who are the Forums?
Rhett: Well were in one, were are all members of the Lucas Forums. And I am an Admin.
Wes: I didn’t know we had any Admins. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Cjais: You’re foolin’ yourself. We’re livin’ in a dictatorship. We’re a self perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes.
Wes: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
Rhett: please
Cjais: Well that’s what its all about, if only people would
Rhett: Please good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Wes: No one lives there.
Rhett: Then who is your Moderator?
Wes: We don’t have a moderator.
Rhett: What?
Cjais: I told you, we’re anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Rhett: *sigh* yes….
Cjais: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified in a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs ...
Rhett: Be Quiet!
Cjais: ...by an internal majority in the case of
Rhett: Be Quiet, I order you to be quiet!
Wes: Order eh, who does he think he is?
Rhett: I am an Admin
Wes: Well I didn’t vote for you
Rhett: You don’t vote for admins
Wes: Well how’d you become an Admin?
Rhett: The Lady of the Swamp, her arm clad in the purest shimmering swamp weed held aloft the Yoink Stick from the bosom of the bog. Signifying by divine province that I Boba Rhett was to carry the Yoink Stick…. THAT IS why I’m an Admin.
Cjais: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing twigs is no basis for a system of administration. Supreme executive derives from a mandate from the masses. Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Rhett: BE QUIET!
Cjais: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ‘cos some watery tart threw a stick at you.
Rhett: SHUT UP!
Cjais: I mean, if I went round sayin’ I was an Admin just because some moistened bint had lobbed a branch at me, they’d put me away.

Rhett walked up and grabbed Cjais,
Rhett: Shut up! Will you Shut Up!
Cjais: Ah, now we see the violence inheriting the system.
Rhett: Shut Up!
Cjais: Come and see the violence inheriting the system! Help, Help I’m being Repressed!
Rhett: Bloody Peasant!
Rhett turned and left Cjais.

Cjais: Oh, what a giveaway did you ‘ear that? Did you ‘ear that eh? That’s what I’m on about. Did you seem him repressing me. You saw it didn’t you.

04-25-2003, 05:59 PM
I love that movie this thread :rotfl:

04-25-2003, 06:00 PM
HEHE, nice:D

04-25-2003, 06:27 PM
Very very funny, and very well done! I really enjoyed it.

AND, I escaped being a cast member! :D

EDIT:stupid keys next to each other... grr;)

04-25-2003, 06:51 PM
Thats real good LW, cant wait for part 3.

Lost Welshman
04-25-2003, 07:00 PM
And so Rhett was no closer to finding any moderators, and now riding through a forest in the swamp with his faithful servant Patsy. He came across a moderator dressed in black armour fighting with a swampie. The black moderator knocked the green armored swampie to the ground, making him drop his sword. The swampie stood up and swung at the moderator with a mace. But he was thrown over the moderators shoulder. The swampie stood up and charged at the moderator with an axe. The Black Moderator threw his sword through the swampies helmet, and with a quick ‘oh’ the swampie was finished. Rhett rode up to the moderator as he retrieved his weapon.

Rhett: You Moderate with the strength of many Moderators sir knight……………………………….I am Rhett, Admin of the Forums………………………….I seek the finest and the bravest moderators in the land to join me in the court of Spamalot……………………..You have proved yourself worthy, with you join me?...........................................You make me sad, come Patsy.
Darth Groovy: None Shall Pass.
Rhett: What?
Darth Groovy: None Shall Pass!
Rhett: I have no quarrel with you good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Darth Groovy: Then you shall Die
Rhett: I command you as Admin of the Forums to stand aside.
Darth Groovy: I move, for no man
Rhett: So Be It!

Rhett pulled out a lightsaber and began to fight with Darth Groovy, The Black Knight. The battle raged on for 2 minutes, until with a quick slash, Rhett dismembered Darth Groovy’s left arm after using putting on the console command.

Rhett: Now Stand aside worth adversary.
Darth Groovy: ‘Tis but a scratch.
Rhett: A Scratch?! Your Arms Off!
Darth Groovy: No it isn’t
Rhett: Well what’s that then?
Darth Groovy: ……..I’ve ‘ad worse.
Rhett: You Liar!
Darth Groovy: Come on! Ya Pansy!

The battle bagan again, and with no effort at all Rhett chopped off Groovy’s other arm

Rhett: Victory is mine! We thank the Lord That in thy mercy….

Rhett was busy praying when Groovy kicked him in the side of the head.

Darth Groovy: Come on then!
Rhett: What?!
Darth Groovy: Have at you!
Rhett: You are indeed brave Sir Knight but the fight is mine.
Darth Groovy: Ooh had enough ey!
Rhett: Look you stupid B******D! you’ve got no arms left!
Darth Groovy: Yes I have!
Rhett: Look!
Darth Groovy: Its just a flesh Wound.

Groovy continued to kick Rhett

Rhett: Look Stop that!
Darth Groovy: Chicken, Chicken!
Rhett: Look, I’ll have your leg!........Right!

Rhett Swang and chopped of Groovy;s leg.

Darth Groovy: Right, I’ll do you for that.
Rhett: You’ll what!

Groovy was hopping into Rhett

Darth Groovy: Come ‘ere!
Rhett: What are you gonna do? Bleed on me?
Darth Groovy: I'm Invincible!
Rhett: You’re a loony
Darth Groovy: The Black Night Always Triumphs, Have at you………...Come on then?

Rhett was fed up, so chopped off the other leg.


Leaving Groovy on the floor as just a torso and a head.

Darth Groovy: wh……….Alright, we’ll call it a draw.
Rhett: Come Patsy!
Darth Groovy: oh, oh… I see, runnin’ away eh! You yellow B*******s. Come back ‘ere and take what’s coming to ya, I’ll Bite you’re legs off!

04-25-2003, 07:16 PM
Anarcho-syndicalist autocracy....

...me like.


Lost Welshman
04-25-2003, 08:00 PM
Rhett was saddened that he missed to chance to gain a moderator for his court at the castle of Spamalot. He came to a small town, filled with newbies trying to get attention by thwacking themselves on the head with wooden boards. He came to a gathering of some kind. A Crowed rushed past shouting, A Witch! A Witch!

Tyrion: We found a witch may we ban her!
Crowd: Yeah, Ban Her!
Obi-wan13: How do you know she is a witch?
Kstar: She Talks like one!
Obi-wan13: Bring her forward.
LeXX: I’m not a witch, I'm not a witch!
Obi-wan13: But you once talked like one?
LeXX: That was a code! And this isn’t my nose it’s a false one
Obi-wan13: Well?.....
Tyrion: Well, we did do the nose.
Obi-wan13: The nose?....
Tyrion: and the hat. But she is a witch.
Crowd: Yeah, a witch, Ban her! Ban her!
Obi-wan13: Did you dress her up like this?
Crowd: No, no, no
Tyrion: No...yes
Crowd: yeah, a bit.
Tyrion: She has got a wart.
Obi-wan13: What makes you think she is a which.
InsaneSith: Well she turned me into a newt!
Obi-wan13: A newt?
InsaneSith: …………………..I got better
Kstar: Ban her anyway!
Crowd: Ban Her!, Ban Her!
Obi-wan13: There are ways of telling if someone is a witch.
Crowd: Are there? Tell us! Tell Us!
Obi-wan13: Well, what do you do with witches?
Crowd: BAN THEM!
Obi-wan13: And what do you ban apart from witches?
Tyrion: More Witches!
InsaneSith: Sssh!
Kstar: Trolls!
Obi-wan13: Good, so why do witches get banned?
InsaneSith: Because…..because they’re really trolls?
Obi-wan13: Good! So how do we tell if she’s really a troll?
Obi-wan13: Do trolls have more than one profile?
Crowd: Ban her!!!
Obi-wan13: What do people with profiles have?
Tyrion: Bread
Kstar: Apples
InsaneSith: Very small rocks
Rhett: An I.P.
Obi-wan13: Exacly! So what does that tell you?
Tyrion: If she has more than one profile…..she’s a troll?
Obi-wan13: And therefore?
Kstar:…..A Witch!
Crowd: A Witch!
Rhett: LeXX Isn’t a Troll, she’s the Lady of the Swamp.

So LeXX was freed and the crowd went home.

Obi-wan13: Who are you, who is so wise in the ways of the forums?
Rhett: I am Boba Rhett, Admin of the Forums.
Obi-wan13: My Liege..
Rhett: Good sir Super-mod, will you join me on my search for the castle of Spamalot. And join us at the not quite round table?
Obi-wan13: My Liege I would be honored.
Rhett: What is your name?
Obi-wan13: Obi-wan13 my liege.
Rhett: Then I dub you Sir Obi-wan13 Moderator of the Lucas Forums.

The Wise Sir Obi was the first to join Boba Rhetts Knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow Sir Stormhammer The Brave, Sir(ess) LeXX the Pure, and Sir Spy_jmr1 the not quite as brave as Sir Stormhammer, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the battle of Badon hill. Together they formed a band who’s names and deeds were to be retold throughout the forums. The Knights of the Lucas Forum.

04-25-2003, 08:52 PM
lol :lol: This is really great stuff, and you have Python down to a tee. Keep it coming my fine sir... :D

04-26-2003, 12:51 PM
:rofl: Thats funny!! :rofl: :D

Lost Welshman
04-26-2003, 01:12 PM
Obi-wan13: And that my liege is how we know the world to be banana shaped.
Rhett: This new leaning amazes me. Tell me again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earth-quakes.
Obi-wan13: Why Certainly my liege.
Stormhammer: Look my liege!

Sir Stormhammer pointed towards Spamalot and the knights and their faithful servants stood in awe.

Rhett: Spamalot
LeXX: Spamalot
Stormhammer: Spamalot
SPY: Spamalot
Patsy: Its only a model
Rhett: Ssssh. Knights I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Spamalot!

The Spamalot Song:

We’re Members of the Lucas Forums,
We try and spam in all o’ them,
We do routines and spam the threads,
In a desperate cry for attention,
We spam well here in Spamalot,
Typing Jam and getting Banned-a lot

Rhett: No. On second thoughts, lets not go to Spamalot, it is a silly place.
The Moderators: hmm, yeah

So Rhett and his moderators left Spamalot and headed on a journey to a place where they didn’t know where they were. Suddenly there was a roar of thunder throughout the sky. And a mystic voice called from above,

Matt Windu: Rhett….Rhett, Admin of the Lucas Forums.

Rhett and the Moderators kneeled down in respect.

Matt Windu: Oh don’t grovel, if there’s one thing I can’t stand it people groveling.
Matt Windu: And don’t apologize, every time I try and talk to someone its Sorry this, and Forgive me that, and I'm not worthy…..What are you doing now!?
Rhett: I'm averting my eyes oh lord. Well Don’t! Its like the miserable Senate Chambers, so depressing. Now give it up!
Moderators: Yes Lord,
Matt Windu: Now!, Rhett , Admin of the Lucas Forums. You and you’re moderators of the not quite round table will have a task to make an example in these dark times.
Rhett: Good idea oh lord!
Matt Windu: Of Course it’s a Good Idea! So Rhett, I want you to find the holy…...erm…..thing. Look well Rhett. For it is your sacred task to seek this thing. That is your purpose Rhett. The Quest for the holy Thing.
Stormhammer: A Blessing, A Blessing from the lord!
LeXX: God be Praised!

So Boba Rhett and his Moderators had been given a task by the high and mighty Matt Windu. And now they were searching for the holy thing, although they had no idea what it looked like. They came to a large Castle.

Rhett: Halt!...................Hello!................Hell ooooo!!!!
InsaneSith: Hello!
Katarn07: Hello? Who is it?
Rhett: It is Boba Rhett, and these are my moderators of the Lucas Forums. Who’s Castle is this?
Katarn07: This is the castle of my masteeerrr, Tooweber-luamba
Rhett: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by Windu, with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us on our quest for the holy thing.
Katarn07: Well I’ll ask him, but I don't think he’ll be very keen. Uh, ‘e‘s alrrready got one. You see?
Rhett: What!
LeXX: He says they’ve already got one?
Rhett: Are you sure he’s got one!
Katarn07: Oh yes, it’s very nicea. ( I told him we already got one)
InsaneSith: He he he
Rhett: We’ll er… Can we come up and have a look?
Katarn07: Of course not! You are Forum Types!
Rhett: Well what are you then?
Katarn07: I'm French! Why do you think I have this Outrrrrrrageous accent you silly admin!
LeXX: What are you doing in the forum?
Katarn07: Mind your own business
Rhett: If you will not show us the thing, We shall take your castle by force!
Katarn07: You Don’ frighten us! Forum pig-dogs, Go and Boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you , so called, Admin! You and all your silly Forum Kunnnnnnnnnnnnnnighits!

The French castle guard began to but on a strange display of banging himself on the head and making raspberry noises.

LeXX: What a strange person
Rhett: Now look here my good man…
Katarn07: I Don’ wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper, I fart in your General direction, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberry.
LeXX: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
Katarn07: A, No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Rhett: Now this is your last chance! I’ve been more than reasonable….
Katarn07: Fethcé le vash
InsaneSith: Kwha?
Katarn07: Fethcé le vash!
Rhett: If you do not agree to my command then I shall….

There was a sound of a huge elastic band being stretched and released. And a cow flew over the walls of the castle.

Rhett: Jesus Christ!

On of LeXX’s faithful servants was crushed, but its ok, he was alright.

Rhett: Right, Charge!!!!

Rhett and the Moderators charged at the wall of the castle, trying to avoid the hordes of animals that were being hurled over the wall, but it all became too much.

Rhett: Run Away! Run Away!
Moderators: Run Away!

They ran out of range of the animals and crouched behind a hill.

Stormhammer: I’ll tear them Apart!
Rhett: No, no no.
Obi-wan13: Sir….I have a plan!

Wes Marrakesh
04-26-2003, 01:34 PM
:rofl: :rofl:

Great one. Gets the spirit of Python perfectly....

and I got a part! >^-^<

Lost Welshman
04-26-2003, 06:00 PM
Early the next morning the French guard was awoken by the sound of a saw cutting a tree, then the sound of a tree falling, then the sound of hammering, and then the sound of something moving on wheels. Rhett and his moderators had created a giant bunny rabbit, and wheeled it up to the castle gates. Then the rabbit was taken in by the French. All of the moderators and Rhett hid behind a hill as they watched them take it in.

Rhett: What happens now?
Obi-wan13: Well, Stormhammer, SPY and I wait until nightfall and then leap out of the rabbit taking the French by surprise, not only by surprise but totally unarmed!
Rhett: Who leaps out?
Obi-wan13: Stormhammer, SPY and I, leap out of the rabbit and...eh…...and…...eh…..
Rhett: *sigh*
Obi-wan13: erm…. Look if we built this large wooden badger

Rhett slapped Obi-wan13. And to their surprise they heard that elastic sound again, and on looking to the sky noticed a huge wooden bunny rabbit hurtling towards them.

All: Run Away!, Run Away!

Defeat at the castle seemed to had utterly dishearten Boba Rhett. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Rhett became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the holy thing was to be successful. Rhett consulted the moderators and they decided to separate and individually.

So they rode their separate ways, Sir SPY_jmr1 rode north through the dark forest of Endor. Accompanied by his favorite minstrels.

Bravely bold Spy_jmr, rode forth from Spamalot
He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Spy_jmr
He was not at all afraid to he killed in nasty ways
Brave, Brave, Brave, Brave Spy_jmr

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbow broken,
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangle brave Spy_jmr,

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowled unplugged,
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burnt off,
And his peni…….

SPY: That’s, that’s err, that’s enough music for now lads. Looks like there’s dirty work afoot, he.

Cjais: and Narcissism is a way of preserving freedom
Wes: Oh Denis forget about freedom as long as you’ve got that mud.

SPY_jmr1 continued to ride wearily through the forest,

Three-headed man (Tyrion/Reaper/Reborn Outcast): HALT! Who are ya?
Minstrels: He is brave Spy_jmr, Brave Spy_..
SPY: Shuttup!..erm…n..n..nobody really, erm, just err… just passing through.
Three-headen man: What do you want?
Minstrels: To Fight And…
SPY: Shut up! Oh..err..nothing really, j..j..just p..passing through good sir knight?
Three-headed man: I’m Afraid not!
SPY: Ah, well, actually I am a knight of the not quite round table?
Three-headed man: You’re a knight of the not quite round table?
SPY: I am
Tyrion: In that case I shall have to kill you
Reaper: Shall I?
Kstar: Oh I don't think so.
Reaper: Well what do I think?
Tyrion: I think kill ‘im
Kstar: Oh lets be nice to ‘im
Tyrion: Oh shut up
SPY: Perhaps…
Tyrion: And you! Oh quick, get the sword out I want to cut his head off!
Kstar: Oh cut your own head off
Reaper: Yes do us all a favor!
Tyrion: What?
Kstar: Yapping on all the time
Reaper: You’re lucky, your not next to him.
Tyrion: What do you mean?
Reaper: You Snore!
Tyrion: ooh I don't!, anyway you’ve got bad breath.
Reaper: Well that’s only because you don't brush my teeth.
Kstar: Oh stop blipping and lets go and have tea.
Tyrion: oh alright, alright, We’ll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Reaper: Yes
Kstar: oh not biscuits?
Tyrion: Alright, alright, not biscuits, but lets kill him anyway.
Three-headed man: Right!.....................
Tyrion: He’s b*****ed off
Kstar: so he ‘as he’s scarcered

Minstrels: Brave SPY_jmr ran away
Minstrels: Bravely ran away, away
SPY: I didn’t!
Minstrels: When Danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled,
Minstrels: Brave Spy_jmr turned around and chickened out
Minstrels: He took a very brave retreat

04-27-2003, 12:07 PM
Very nice LW, very funny. keep it up. :D

04-27-2003, 12:46 PM
damn funney!! hey could i be tim the enchanter. please!

Lost Welshman
04-27-2003, 01:31 PM
Sorry White Dragon, the place is taken, and I've already got the script sorted out for the guy I chose. Really sorry.

And for all those who dont get a part, I am very sorry. BUT! Don't worry, once this is done I will start a Lord of the Rings spoof.

'Lord of the Forums'

Don't worry, It'll be a spoof, not all serious.

ALSO Thanks for all the replies I've had so far.

04-27-2003, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by Lost Welshman
once this is done I will start a Lord of the Rings spoof.

'Lord of the Forums'

04-28-2003, 09:17 AM
:D Excellent work. I don't usually read spoof's, but I'm a big Python fan and this is great stuff.

Lost Welshman
04-28-2003, 04:19 PM
I'm not a plagerist, I didn't know anyone else had done it? Sorry.

Meanwhile Rhett and Obi-wan13, not more than a swallows flight away had discovered something. That’s an unladed swallows flight obviously, well it was more two laden swallows, or four if they carried a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking, and dragging…

Rhett: Get on with it!

Anyway, onto the next scene which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting In which Rhett discovers a vital clue; in which there aren't any swallows but I think you can hear a starling...Argh!

Whitedragon: Eh he he ha hargh
Rhett: And this enchanter, he has seen the grail?
Whitedragon: He he ha har hargh, Ee he heh ha har hargh
Rhett: Where does he live?....Old man where does he live?
Whitedragon: Heh heh. He knows of a cave , a cave which no man has entered
Rhett: And the grail? The grail is there?
Whitedragon: Much danger, beyond the cave lies the gorge of eternal peril, which no man has ever crossed.
Rhett: And the grail where is the grail?
Starling: Ca!
Whitedragon: Seek you the bridge of death.
Rhett: The bridge of death which leads to the grail?
Whitedragon: He ha ha Argh!

The strange whitedragon disappeared into the flames of the campfire, leaving Rhett, Obi-wan13 and their faithful companions in the wilderness. So they wandered, noticing slight movement in the fog around them. Suddenly some strange figures appeared.

Darklighter: Ni!

Rhett felt strangely insulted and some pain.

Rhett: Who are you?
Darklighter: We are the Guys who say….Ni!
Rhett: No, not the Guys who say Ni
Darklighter: the same….
Obi-wan13: Who are they?
Darklighter: We are the keepers of the sacred words Ni, Spam and Neeeeiwom
Padanime: Neeeeiwom
Rhett: Those who hear from them seldom live to tell the tale
Darklighter: The knights who say Ni demand a sacrifice.
Rhett: Mods of Ni we are but simple travelers, who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
Darklighter: Ni!
Rhett: Argh!
Darklighter: Ni!
Padanime: Ni!
Tyrion: Ni!
Rhett: Ouch!
Obi-wan13: Ow, ow!
Darklighter: Ni!
Rhett: Ahhh
Darklighter: We shall say Ni again to you, if you do not appease us.
Rhett: Well what is it you want?
Darklighter: We want……...a SIG IMAGE!
Rhett: Ah!…. A what?
Darklighter: Ni!
Tyrion: Ni! Ni!
Padanime: Ni!
Rhett: Please, please no more! We will find you a sig image .
Darklighter: You must return here with a sig image or else you will never pass through this wood….Alive!
Rhett: Oh guys of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a sig image.
Darklighter: One that looks nice?
Rhett: Of course.
Darkligher: And not too expensive.
Rhett: Yes
Darklighter: Now…….GO!

In the meantime Stormhammer was searching with his faithful servant concord. When they noticed a castle on the horizon. In the tallest tower of the castle stood a boy and his father.

Kstar: One day lad, all this will be yours.
Higginson: What the curtains?
Kstar: No not the curtains lad, all that you can see, right out to the hills in the distance.
Higginson: But mother
Kstar: Father..father
Higginson: But father, I don’t want any of that.
Kstar: Listen Lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. Before I came here all it was, was swamp. They thought I was daft to make my home in the swamp, but I built it all the same. Just to show ‘em. It sank into the swamp, SO! I made a second one, that sank into the swamp. So I built a third one, that was spammed down, fell over and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up! And that’s what you’re going to get lad, the strongest castle in these forums.
Higginson: But I don’t want any of that, I’d rather.
Kstar: Rather what?!
Higginson: I’d rather just….SING!
Kstar: Stop that, stop that! You’re not going into a song while I’m here. Now listen right. In 20 minutes you’re getting married to a girl who owns the biggest part of the forums.
Higginson: But I don’t want the forums.
Kstar: Listen, Tyrion
Higginson: Higginson!
Kstar: This is the swamp! We need all the forums we can get!
Higginson: But I don’t like her!
Kstar: Don’t like her! What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful, she’s got lots of points, huge….....parts of the forum
Higginson: I know but I want the girl that I marry to have, a certain, special, something…..Oh H…
Kstar: Cut that out! Cut that out...Listen, you’re marrying LeXX so you’d better get used to the idea!
*Slap* Guards! Make sure Higgy doesn’t leave this room until I come an get him.
Hekx: Right. He’s not to leave the room, even if you come and get him.
InsaneSith: *Hic*
Kstar: no, UNTIL I come and get him.
Hekx: You’re not to come and get him, ’til we’re out of the room.
Kstar: no, no. You stay in the room, and make sure he doesn’t leave.
Hekx: And you’ll come and get him.
Kstar: Right
Hekx: So we don’t need to do anything, apart from stop him from entering the room.
Kstar: No no, leaving the room.
Hekx: Leaving the room
Kstar: Yes, good.
InsaneSith: *Hic*
Hekx: Yeah…….oh, if, if, if….if if, if, if...if...if...oh
Kstar: Look its quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn’t leave the room.
Hekx: Oh I remember. Can he leave the room with us?
Hekx: Oh yes, he’ll stay here obviously. But if he has to leave and we were with him….
Kstar: Look, just keep him in here…
Hekx: Until you or anyone else…
Kstar: No not anyone else, just me
Hekx: Just you
Kstar: Get back
Hekx: Get back
InsaneSith: *Hic*
Kstar: Right?
Hekx: Right, well stay here until you get back.
Kstar: and make sure he doesn’t leave.
Hekx: What?
Kstar: Make sure he doesn’t leave.
Hekx: Higginson?
Kstar: Yes, make sure he doesn’t leave.
Hekx: Oh yes of course, I thought you meant Insane Sith. I did seem a bit me having to guard him when he’s a guard.
Kstar: Is that clear?
InsaneSith: *Hic*
Hekx: Yes quite clear.

Kstar went to leave the room. The guards followed.

Kstar: What are you doing?
Hekx: We’re coming with you
Kstar: No, I want you to stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave.
Hekx: Oh I see right.
Higginson: But father?
Kstar: Shut up you, and get that suit on.

Kstar left the room. Before quickly coming back

Kstar: And NO singing!
InsaneSith: *Hic*
Kstar: Oh go get a glass of water.

Kstar left again. Higginson wrote a note and fired it out of the window on an arrow with a bow. The arrow went straight into Stormhammers faithful servant.

Concord: Message for you sir.

Concord collapsed.

Stormhammer: Concord? Concord! Speak to me!

Stormhammer picked up the message. It said:

To whoever finds this message I have been Imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of the swamp forum.

Stormhammer: At last! A Call! A Cry of despair! This could be the sign that leads us to the holy grail. Brave, brave Concord! You shall not have died in vane!
Concord: Err, I'm not quite dead sir.
Stormhammer:….well you shall not have been mortally wounded in vane!
Concord: I think I could pull through sir…
Stormhammer: *sigh* Oh I see
Concord: Actually I think I might be ok to come with you.
Stormhammer: No, no sweet Concord stay here. I will send help as soon as I have accomplished this daring and heroic rescue in my own particular….err…..
Concord: Idiom sir?
Stormhammer: Idiom!
Concord: No I feel fine actually I…
Stormhammer: Farewell Concord!

Stormhammer darted off towards the castle.

Concord: I’ll umm...I’ll just stay here then shall I sir?...........................yeah……..

Back in the castle the celebrations were being set up. Two castle guards, Tyrion and Padanime were letting the guests in. When Tyrion noticed Stormhammer on the horizon, running towards the castle. He took a bite of his donut and looked up, and in the distance he saw Stormhammer running towards them. He stared for a bit. Then took a bite of his donut, when he looked up he noticed Stormhammer in the distance running towards the castle. Suddenly Stormhammer stabbed Tyrion and ran into the castle.


Stormhammer stormed through the castle, slashing and hacking as he went. He finally came to the tall tower. He ran up the stairs and into the highest room.

Hekx: Now you’re not allowed to enter the room until...argh!

Stormhammer stabbed the two guards and kneeled down by the person looking out of the window.

Stormhammer: Oh fair one, I am you’re humble servant Sir Stormhammer of the Lucas Forums. I have come to take...oh I’m terribly sorry.
Higginson: You got my note!
Stormhammer: Well I got A note
Higginson: You’ve come to rescue me!
Stormhammer: Well, err, no you see, err.
Higginson: I knew someone would, I knew that someone out there….the must be…..someone….wh…
Kstar: Stop that! Stop that! Who are you?
Higginson: I’m your son
Kstar: No not you
Stormhammer: I am Sit Stormhammer sir
Higginson: He’s come to rescue me father!
Stormhammer: Now lets not jump to conclusions.
Kstar: Did you kill all those guards?
Stormhammer: Err…..oh yes….sorry
Kstar: They cost 50 points each!
Stormhammer: Well I’m awfully sorry, I really….
Higginson: Don’t worry about escape sir Stormhammer I have a rope ready.

Higginson began to climb out of the window.

Kstar: You killed 8 wedding guests and all!
Stormhammer: Well you see the thing is I thought your son was a lady.
Kstar: I can understand that!
Higginson: Hurry sir Stormhammer, Hurry!
Kstar: Shut up! You only killed the brides father!
Stormhammer: Well I really didn’t mean to….
Kstar: Didn’t mean to? You put a sword through his head!
Stormhammer: Oh dear…..is he alright?
Kstar: You even kicked the bride in the chest, this is going to cost me a fortune.
Stormhammer: Well I can explain, I was in the forums riding away from Spamalot and I got this note.
Kstar: Are you from...er….Spamalot?
Higginson: Hurry!
Stormhammer: I am a moderator of Boba Rhett.
Kstar: Would you like to come and have a drink.
Higginson: I’m ready!
Stormhammer: Yes that would be very nice

Kstar cut the rope.

Higginson: Oooh *Splat!*

Ksatr took Stormhammer through the castle, into the main hall where all the mourning guests were.

Kstar: We’re going to have all this knocked through and made into one big…
Padanime: THERE HE IS!!
Kstar: Oh Bloody ‘ell

Stormhammer began to slash at the guards again.

Kstar: Hold it! Hold it! Please
Stormhammer: Sorry, sorry. You see what I mean, I just get carried away. I didn't mean it at all. Sorry, Sorry everyone!
Padanime: He’s killed the best man!
Kstar: Hold it, hold it please! This is Sir Stormhammer Moderator in the Lucas Forums. A very brave and influential Super-mod.
Stormhammer: Hi
Crowd: BOO!
Kstar: Please please!, this is supposed to be a happy occasion. Lets not bicker and argue about who flamed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of holy wedlock. Unfortunately one of them, My son Higgy, has just fallen to his death. But I don’t want to think I’ve lost a son, as much as gained a daughter, since the tragic death of her father.
Padanime: He’s not quite dead.
Kstar: Since the near fatal wounding of her father.
Padanime: He’s getting better.

Kstar Signaled to some guards who got out their swords and headed to the brides’ father.

Kstar: Since her own father, who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him.
Brides Father: ARGH!
Crowd: Ooh!
Padanime: He’s died!
Kstar: I want his only daughter to look upon me, as her own dad.
Crowd: *claps*
Padanime: Look! The dead prince!
Concord: He’s not quite dead.
Higginson: Ooh, I feel much better.
Kstar: But you fell out of the tall tower you creep.
Higginson: No. I was saved at the last minute.
Kstar: ‘OW!
Higginson: Well I’ll tell you.
Kstar: Not like that, No Singing!
Concord: Quickly sir, come this way
Stormhammer: No it’s not right for my idiom, I must escape more…..*sigh*
Concord: Dramatically sir?
Stormhammer: Dramatically

Stormhammer swung from a rope, through a window. Only to swing back into the room and just...well...just dangle.

Stormhammer: Err….could somebody give me a push?

04-28-2003, 04:48 PM
Brilliant, just brilliant :D but why am i the singing boy? lol.

04-28-2003, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by Lost Welshman
I'm not a plagerist, I didn't know anyone else had done it? Sorry.

actually i made one. :p

Lost Welshman
04-28-2003, 06:38 PM
Well as long as I dont read yours it doesn't matter, because then I wont steal Ideas. So it's fine. If its like your episode 1 spoof then Im fine because Its going to be based on the forum members, rather than the film characters.

Oh and here is a treat for you all, the trailer for this spoof.


04-28-2003, 06:47 PM
Originally posted by Lost Welshman
Well as long as I dont read yours it doesn't matter, because then I wont steal Ideas. So it's fine. If its like your episode 1 spoof then Im fine because Its going to be based on the forum members, rather than the film characters.

Oh and here is a treat for you all, the trailer for this spoof.

http://linuxsupportdesk.net/pichost/uploads/trailerpoorer.gif lol the leXX part was funney

Reborn Outcast
04-28-2003, 11:41 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That was great haha.

Lost Welshman
04-29-2003, 06:20 PM
Rhett and Obi-wan13 were searching the forums for a signature image. They came to a hut with an old woman in,

Rhett: Old Crone. Is there anywhere in this forum where we could buy a sig image?
LeXX: Arrr, who sent you?
Rhett: The guys who say Ni
LeXX: Argh...No, never. We’ve no sig images here.
Rhett: If you do not tell us where we can buy a sig image, my friend and I will say….we will say….Ni!
LeXX: Do you’re worst!
Rhett: Very well, if you will not assist us voluntarily…..Ni!
LeXX: Ah! No, never no sig images!
Rhett: Ni!
Obi-wan13: Noo, noo!
Rhett: No no no its not that its Ni, ni
Obi-wan13: Noo
Rhett: No no, you’re not doing it right its Ni
Obi-wan13: Noo, N..nnn...Ni!
Rhett: Ni, that’s it.
Both: Ni, Ni, Ni!
CoupeS: Are you saying Ni to that woman?
Rhett: Erm...Yes
CoupeS: Ooooh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni, at will to ladies. There is a petulance upon this forum, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design Sig images are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Rhett: Did you sat Sig images?
CoupeS: Yes… Sig Images are my trade, I am a Sig...ger, My name is Roger the Sigger, I arrange, design and make sig images.
Obi-wan13: Ni!
Rhett: No, no no no!

Rhett and Obi-wan13 returned to the guys of Ni.

Rhett: Oh guys of Ni. We have brought you you’re sig image, may we go now?
Darklighter: It is a good sig image. I like the pink particularly, but there is one small problem.
Rhett: What is that?
Darkligther: We are now no longer the guys who say Ni.
Tyrion: Ni
Padanime: Sssh
Darkligther: We are now the guys who say….eki-eki-eki-eki-tzupang-zzupboing-zarmmunum. Therefore we must give you a test.
Rhett: What is this test oh guys of...guys who until recently said Ni?
Darklighter: Firstly….you must find….ANOTHER SIG IMAGE!
Rhett: Not another Sig Image!
Darkligther: Then, when you have found the sig image, you must place it here beside this sig image, but slightly lower, giving it a two level effect….Then! When you have found the sig image, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forum, with…...A HERRING!!
Rhett: We shall do no such thing!
Darkligther: Oh, please?
Rhett: Cut down a tree with a herring, it can’t be done.
Guys of Ni: AAAH!
Darkligther: Dont say that word!
Rhett: What word?
Darkligther: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the guys of ni cannot hear!
Rhett: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
Guys of Ni: Ah!
Darklighter: He said the word again!
Rhett: What IS?
Darklighter: No not is, you wouldn’t get very far in life not saying is.
Obi-wan13: My liege, It’s Sir Spy!
Minstrels: And packing it in, and sneaking away and buggering off, and chickening out and pissing off home, yes bravely he is throwing in the fun.
Rhett: Spy!
SPY: My Liege.. It’s good to see you!
Guys of Ni: AH!
Rhett: Surely you’ve not given up you’re quest for the holy thing.
Minstrels: He is sneaking away and bugge…
SPY: Shut up! No no, no. Far from it
Guys of Ni: Ah! He said the word again!
SPY: I was looking for it
Guys of Ni: AH!!
SPY: Here in this forest.
Rhett: No it is far from this place.
Guys of Ni: AAAH!
Darklighter: Ah! Stop saying the word!
Rhett: Oh Stop it!
Guys of Ni: Argh!
Darklighter: Oh he said it again!

Rhett, Spy and Obi rode off.

Darklighter: Wait I said it! I said it again! And again, that’s three its! AH!
Guys of Ni: AAAAH!!!!

05-05-2003, 11:21 AM
I feel special :D I was in someone's stroy :) YAY , Nice stroy Lost keep up the good work Dude ;)

Captain Wilson
05-17-2003, 10:34 PM
great job, you cature Pyton in a light that should make it sound stupid, and make it funny. Sheer genius. Keep it up.( and try and squesse me in please please please please (huge gasp of air) please)