Story Game II
After the success of the last story game, i wanna start another one!
do we want a sequel to the orginal story game, or an entirely new story game? or a prequel?
...wait no more.
Let's start a WHOLE NEW story....even though I predict it will become like the other one. :p
::looks around, hoping someone else will start it::
oh, okay fine...
Once upon a time, on a dreay night of November....
A dark figure, hat pulled low and slanted, entered an empty diner.
"A strawberry milkshake, an it please ye," said the person, who, judging by the voice and manner, was a young lady.
The adolescent-looking waiter hesitated a moment. "Who are you?" he asked, puzzled.
"Do you honestly have to check? It's just a freakin' milkshake," she snapped.
"Sorry," the boy said, "but it's a very small town, and I've never seen you before." He hopped to mix the milkshake, and avoid further disappoval. He wanted to impress the stranger with his skills, naturally. Just like a man.
The girl sighed heavily. "My name is unimportant..."
"All right, I see you'll have the whole story. You can call me Miss Orca Wail, boy. It wasn't always that way, but it is now." she said, very sadly. A second later, she recovered herself and continued. (The waiter wished she would uncover her face.)
"This is how it happened. Seven years ago, my father...."
"...said "Get off the computer!" But i refused, and the computer blew up, taking my face and identity..."
*cue in the "Dark Man" theme*
The boy looked at her and said "WTF is a computer?"
Orca: "Shut up boy! what time peroid is this, the 50's?"
the boy gets all excited "Are you from the future!?"
Orca wail glared at the boy, and was about to scold him for his immeanse stupidity, but then saw that he was...
(i gots to get me someof this game)
braiding the hair of a young girl.
"Shoot...no cursing today" Orca moaned. "Ok kid, give me the facts, and give them to me straight."
"Hey you, stay away from me" he wispered, as he suddenly saw a glimpse of Orca's face. "We dont want no Commies around here...."
"AHA! The '50's. Just as I thought"
Well then, thought Orca, this could be tricky. Fully armed with a set of spoons and a fully rubber tooth, Orca set out on the adventure of a lifetime.
.. then later that day.. errm to be precise: that evening.. the air suddenly became clammy.. as it was typical for the 50's
RayJones alias "the white spy" stepped into the scene..
....but the scene fell out from under him and he tripped.
"Ow," he said, rubbing his elbow. He got up again hastily and looked around, hoping that no one had seen him. But he was out of luck. Another dark figure wearing a hat, similar to the first, strolled by, smoking a cigarette and laughing at him with her bewitching green eyes.
"Erm, hello miss," he said, embarrassed.
"That's Captain, sirrah," she replied scornfully. "I take it you're the white guy."
"Spy..." choked Ray.
"Whatever," said the captain. "You're the Orca's contact. Where is she?"
She tapped her foot impatiently. But at the nearby diner...
...A nerd was getting into a fight with the fat guy behind the counter.
"'All your base are belong to us'...how is that not funny?"the nerd asked.
"Its stupid." the fat guy said, years ahead of his time.
Suddenly, Orca burst in, grabbing the nerd.
"They know we're here!"she yelled.
"Oh no!'Someone set us up the bomb!'"the nerd cried.
"Shut up this is serious! Come on, we have to go!"
They ran out of the diner, when suddenly...
Ernil ran in, pulled off an amazing polka dance, and then miraculously fell asleep halfway through his dance.
Orca and the nerd just looked at Ernil, snoring on the flithy diner floor, sucking in dust-bunnies, crumbs, and the occasional small animal. The fat man, completley shocked, hid behind the counter in a fetal position.
Orca thought for a minute. "Maybe he'd be a good bargining thing...."
"'What you say?'" said the nerd.
"As a hostage, stupid. We're bad guys, we're supposed to do things like that."Orca rolled her eyes.
As they began to tie up and gag Ernil, the fat guy pulled out a shot gun.
"Orca! Go on ahead! I'll take care of him!'For great justice, take off every 'zig!'"
While Orca dragged Ernil to the car, the nerd was heard to say
"'You have no chance to survive make your...'" followed by the sound of the shot gun.
Orca smiled. Oh good, she thought. The fat man saved me a bit of work.
She dumped Ernil into the trunk, and speed off into the night.
relating back to captain andy's post...
the real contact (rayjones wasn't the actual contact, making everything about ray there irrelevant, and throwing a huge twist into the plotline!), das mole, was sitting and sipping a pina colada very discreetly. as he stepped outside of the diner, he walked past a dark alley. out of the shadows came roy.
"hey das." he said.
"hello roy. do you have the papers?"
"yes, i brought them in this suitcase." he said, pointing to a black leather suitcase he was holding in his right hand.
"good. give them to me." roy handed them over, and das immediately checked them to see if they were in mint condition. "you imbecile! you got them wet! now i can't read them!"
"yeah, that's right! now what's the boss going to say? that's it. you're fired!"
"you can't do that!"
"damn. you're right. well, come on. we have to go find the boss and tell her that we destroyed the papers."
as they went out into town to track down captain andy, she talked to ray further, never realizing that he wasn't the real spy. as ray kept attempting to tell this to captain andy, she repeatedly cut him off, never giving him the chance to speak. soon enough, roy and das showed up, with das tapping her shoulder.
"who the hell are you two?" she asked.
"i'm the white spy you need to talk to," claimed das.
"but this guy is the right one."
"no, he's not."
"oh," she said, putting her full attention on what das was going to tell her.
"the papers were destroyed."
"what? now we'll never find orca wail!" she said, as she picked das up by the collar of his overcoat.
"but i didn't do it! it was roy!"
"no, i didn't do it! it was him!" said roy.
"well, one of you did it!" said andy.
"actually..." began ray...
"...i'm involved in an affair with Ernil. And he's gone missing."
Andy just looked at him "And what has this to do with Orca?"
"Uh...I have a gut feeling she has something to do with it." ray said.
And meanwhile, in Orca's trunk...
...there was Guybrush122. He was bound with rope and tape, a gag stuffed in his mouth which was taped shut. He thought back to the night before. He had been doing his night shift at the tavern, sweeping counters, when a dark figure entered the bar. She was young. GB didn't need to see her face, he could tell she was hideously scarred by a computer accident years ago, sort of like that Liam Neissan movie "Darkman". It was the way she carried herself that just....gave it away.
He remembered she sat down on the stool, head hung, and ordered a milkshake. He asked her name.
"Do you honestly have to check?" she said, "It's just a freakin' milkshake!"
GB apologized and fixed her a drink.
"My name is unimportant," she sighed, as he became more enthralled with the mysterious girl. He leaned in closer to hear her story, though he knew it anyway; the scarring thing, that whole bag.
The moon was coming up when her story was finished. Somehow, some way, Orca (for that was the girl's name) had gotten ****faced off of her milkshake...so GB walked her to her car. Orca turned to him. Both were wet from the pouring rain.
"Guybrush..." she began, water building up in her eyes, "I ... I ...
I have the sudden urge to hit you with a frying pan."
GB's eybrows furrowed.
He felt cold metal across his face.
When he woke up later in the trunk, he knew he managed to get himself in a spirally web of espionage, deciet, and wild horse-sex with a voodoo woman named Montana. 'Yes, he thought, 'I'm in for the ride.'
In for the ride indeed....
(huh? i thought Enril was in my trunk. Oh well..."Enril will now be played by Guybrush")
Orca Wail drove on, the road made silver in the moonlight. She had a feeling Guybrush knew too much, considering she told him a four-hour autobiography. He knew about her revenge plans against...
BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! "MMM-mmm!"
Orca Wail pulled over "Damn it! Is he screwing around, trying to get out?"
She got out her frying pan, and flung open the trunk.
...Ernil and Guybrush in a very embaressing position.
"Wait! I can explain!" Ernil's eyes were wide open with fright. Orca frowned and said,
"Let me guess...'it's not what it looks like'?"
"Exactly!" shouted Ernil, "I don't know HOW those pancakes got there!"
Guybrush was offended. "Via E-Mail, remember, Ernie?"
(you took that BumpBumpMM! thing in a sick way? weirdo...;) )
...a huge ass vortex opened out of now-where.
"WTFF!?!" Ernil and Guy exclaimed.
"It's time. Come on, lovebirds, you might as well get in the car." Orca said calmly.
So they got in the car and drove into the vortex.
Guy shook his head "this is the worst trip i've ever been on."
The vortex was going thru a worm hole, or a tunnel, so Orca turned around and faced them.
"Remember, Ernil, when you gave me the strawberry shake and i asked if this was the fifties? Well, I wasn't rambling. I'm from the year 2101."
Ernil started in shock "Why...why are you taking us to the future?"
Orca took out a ciggie and lit it. After she took a drag, she started to explain:
"Two agents, Andy and Roy, have been sent to the past to kill me. It was my mission to find you. You see, guys, tonite was the night you doom all mankind."
"What?!" both exclaimed.
"You see, boys, tonight would be the night you two would meet and become friends and eventually make a B-movie that really, really sucked called "Attack of the 40 ft Uterer*". It would be remade in 2004, causing mass sucicide all over the world because the remake will be so bad it will cause people to take thier own lives rather then live another second in a world that has a terribly acted, hideously sucking remake. The cyborgs were able to take over when the number of humans dramaticly decreased. "
She took another drag. "That is why i have to keep you from ever making that movie..."
Ernil asked "Is that a "funny" cigarette you're smokin' there?"
"erm...no. It's tabacco, and i am compeltly sane and sober, and so are you two."Orca frowned.
Guy suddenly realized something "Hey, if we are kept from making that movie, won't you dissapear?"
Orca screamed "****!!!!!"
Ernil was dearly working at the counter, waiting for a costumer, when another boy walked in. They got into a conversation, and relized they both liked polka, movies, uterers, and wild animal sex.
They decided to make a movie and...
*a uterer is the thing that connects the kidney to the bladder. there are brain movies...why not uterer movies?
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