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Sabretooth 02-28-2004 10:06 AM

Jaden Korr - Darth Qollous
The story is set after the events depicted in the Jedi Academy. Jaden, (the blonde-haired human male) turned to the dark side, stealing the scepter and defeating Tavion as well as Katarn. What happened next? Read on....

Episode One: A new Reign Of Terror

Ahead of him lay a vast planet. Hopefully uninhabited and hidden from the eyes of the Republic. The planet was none other than Onderon, the planet on which Exar Kun was converted.

Jaden's mind was full of revenge. Revenge against the Jedi. Revenge against Kyle. And most of all, Revenge against the Academy. He knew that Kyle was holding his students back. Kyle had experienced the dark side, but why didn't he convert? Jaden's mind was getting more and more corrupted every second.

Jaden landed his X-Wing down in a clearing. The area around him was of a temperate nature. Jumping out, Jaden rushed to the Sith temple nearby. The stairs were short, but well-detailed. Inside was a huge cave, not very dark, but with Ancient Sith inscriptions everywhere.

"Where are you? I sense your presence!" thundered Jaden. "Don't play games with me!"
After a moment of silence, a spirit took form in front of Jaden. It was of somebody in a long, hooded robe. Apparently, a great Sith Lord.
"So, you will be the one, won't you". The spirit smiled after the last word. "Tell me your name, The New Sith". Jaden glanced at the entrance and back, then answered, "I am Jaden Korr".

The spirit placed it's hand over Jaden who tried to fight it back. "You are not Jaden Korr". Jaden gave way to his anger and exploded, "Are you Insane, you weak Sith? I am Jaden Korr and I am going to be the greatest Sith Lord in the Galaxy. Better than that puny Darth Vader, better than YOU!"
The spirit gave a sign of disgust at Jaden and said aloud, "You are not Jaden Korr, atleast not anymore. Now you are Darth Qollous!"
Jaden stood where he was, taking his time to accept the news. He rose his head to the spirit weakly. "You... You are what I thought. You must be..." His sentence was interrupted when the spirit rose it's hand and faded away.

Darth Qullous turned away and descended the stairs, satisfied. Just then, a voice erupted in his head. This was not of the spirit. "You, you are finally alive. You have finally become a Sith, that too by my Master! Go to Yavin 4. Go to the Masassi Temple where those weak Jedi train. Avoid all Jedi especially Luke Skywalker. You must reach the top of the temple using the Force and stealth. Together, you and I, we will establish the new reign of terror!"

Hiroki 02-29-2004 03:50 AM

Oooh. Interesting, I'd like to see where this is going! :)

Sabretooth 02-29-2004 08:00 AM

Episode 2: The Masassi Temple
At first Jaden hesitated, but his curiousity took him into the deep jungles of the fourth, tropical moon of Yavin. "Hmm... The Jedi have just returned". Using the force, Qollous guided his X-wing through the dense jungle and landed with a few scratches about 300 metres to the south of the temple.

Jaden used his force powers to sense Kyle and Luke. They were heading towards the Academy hall. there were atleast 3 more Jedi left. Jaden used Force Speed and zipped past Luke and Kyle before they could even sense him. "I sense a disturbance in the force, Kyle" declared Luke. Jaden was already leaping the ledges of the temple.

The temple was made of grey rock and whoever built it were experienced and skilled builders. There was an dark side aura emanating from it. Jaden had sensed it in his Academy days but this time it was more stronger. Even stronger than the time Tavion was there.

After climbing about three-fourths of the temple, Jaden was hardly exhausted. He continued climbing relentlessly. His rage and anger was building second-by-second. He climbed a ledge and laid down for rest. Leaning his head slightly from the ledge, he surprised himself by realising how much distance he had climed in just fifteen Yavin minuter (32.4 Earth minutes).

He rose his head in an attempt to get up only to find a female Twi-Lek Jedi gazing at him in an attacking stance. Qullous showed no sign of surpise. He kicked her by launching his laid body straight to her like a rocket. Getting behind her, he ignited his orange saberstaff. She rolled up and ignited her two purple and yellow sabers.

The two stared at each other, predicting each others next move and waiting for the move. The Twi-Lek moved first. She reached for the comlink and communicated Luke. Before she can say a word, Qullous' saber destroyed the comlink. In a fraction of a second, Jaden kicked the Jedi and thrust his saber through her chest.

Without any emotion or feeling, the Sith leapt to the final ledge from where he leapt again to reach the top of the temple. The top was of a squarish shape. At two opposite sides stood two tall, artistic pillars. One was carved and well-deatiled, the other plain. Both were nearly flat in breadth, stood aout 6 feet high and were pointed.

"Allright, I am here! Stop being a coward, Kun and face me!" shouted Qullous. "I am here, Korr". said the voice. The spirit of Exar Kun materialised and stood next to the detailed pillar. "These two pillars were built by Masassis. I commaned them. This pillar," said Kun pointing at the pillar next to him "represents me. It represents one of the greatest Sith Lords ever!"

"And the other one?"
"That one, that one represents you, Exar Kun's successor'.

Episode 3 Preview:
"Go to Korriban. There you will find the greatest secrets of the Sith!"

Sabretooth 03-01-2004 09:46 AM

Episode 3: Further Steps
Jaden was taken aback. He never expected to be anybody's successor, especially a dead Sith lord.

"You forgot, Kun. I have my scepter with me".
So saying, Jaden took off a rod from his back and it automatically extended and unleashed to form a complete scepter.

"Before you do anything, Jaden..." The spirit's entence was interrupted.
"I AM NOT JADEN! I AM DARTH QOLLOUS!" Qullous pointed his scepter to Exar Kun, ready to attack the spirit.
"Travel to Korriban. There you will find the greatest secrets of the Sith!" Said the spirit. No sooner did he finish the last letter than he was scattered into a million pieces by the scepter.
"He wants to use me. Just like Ragnos would have used Tavion. But she lost for she was weak. Listen up, Kun! I AM NOT WEAK!"

Then, Jaden took one look at the plain pillar. He grunted and dived off the top of the temple.

Luke was having a meeting with the students at the Hall. He tried to concentrate on discussing but he was constantly disturbed by the sudden appearence and disapperence of the Dark Side.

"Since there are just seven of us left, we will cut down on missions. We'll need more Jedi recruits after the loss of many at the hands of Jaden".
Kyle wasn't paying attention to the speech. He was wondering about Jaden. Kyle knew that Jaden had become stronger than himself, this was proved when Jaden defeated Kyle in their duel at Korriban. "Luke, we'll need to keep an eye on Jaden. He stole the scepter, defeated me and... well... he's next to invincible now".
"Sorry, Kyle. That would not be possible with such a small number of Jedi. I know you care about your... lost student but Jaden will have to wait".
"We may not be able to spy on Jaden, But I know one person who can".
"Who is that?" asked a Jedi.
"A friend who has met Luke, me and most importantly, he has met Jaden".

Episode 4 Preview:
"Now why the heck do we need to steal a Podracer?"

Sabretooth 03-03-2004 09:39 AM

Episode 4: Chaos On Tatooine
The grand Mos Espa Podracing Arena. A center of crowds, excitement and racing. At an isolated part, near the maintenance rooms, two shadowy figures change their positions. They are bounty hunters. One is the best in his job, and the other is his apprentice. Both are in Mandalorian armour. The first is in a strached and faded green helmet, the other in sleek blue-black suit.

"Now why are we here again?" asks the one in blue.
"See that red podracer?" the other asks pointing to a podracer. "We have to steal it."
"Now why the heck do we need to steal a Podracer?"
The other went furious and rose his voice. "It is our job. Our client tells us, we do it. You'd better watch out if you are to become a great bounty hunter like me."
"You got to train under your father, I'm just..." his sentence was cut short by Fett. "OK, you get the podracer, load it onto that carrier and get out. I'll spread chaos to cover you."

Boba exited through a back door. His apprentice waited, looking out. "He always does that." he said to himself. He waited for what seemed to him an eternity. A janitor then came along.

"Hey! Hey! It's a bounty..." The Janitor didn't finish. He ringed the alarm and the ringing siren was heard all over the arena. A voice came up on the comlink. "Now look what you did. Get out and get that podracer! I'm going in!"

Blaster shots were heard outside. The apprentice jumped out and using his jet pack, naivgated the blaster shots. The Tatooine police had stormed the arena. Criminals and betters, fearing the prison had fired the police. Boba Fett was firing at anyone and causing a menace. Civilians and Racers ran around like headless taun tauns. "Mordale, watch out!" shouted Boba as he fired a missile targeteds for a group of cops. Mordale, the apprentice found the podracer and was already heading for the pod-carrier.

Since he had never driven a podracer before, Mordale was cautious, focusing on his speed. A blaster shot zipped past him which destroyed his concentration. With his heart thumping, Mordale zoomed past the carrier into the course. He was heading at a boulder with uncrontollable speed. In a split-second, he ignited his jetpack and got off the podracer which, after a few secods smacked straight into a boulder. "Darn! Get back to your ship, you're never gonna be a bounty hunter". Sulking, Mordale Korr returned to his ship and took off Tatooine.

Episode 5 Preview:
"Take that saber Jaden, it has been waiting for a master for 2000 years."

topshot 03-05-2004 09:55 PM

This is a good story. Keep 'em coming. :cool:

Sabretooth 03-06-2004 04:29 AM

Episode 5: The Tombs on Korriban
Thanks, man!
Keep the feedback comin' and the story gets even better...
Jaden's X-Wing had landed. He was walking about, looking for a secret tunnel which would take him to the Sith Chambers. He was near the tomb of the Kel Dor Sith Lord, Baret Kloopon. Qollous had already investigated the site, but there was nothing of importance. Kun's words echoed in his head. Then, like some jolt of electricity, The Force guided Jaden to a patch of sand. Curious, Jaden moved towards it. On stepping on it, Jaden fell through. It was the secret passage.

Jaden was sliding down the smooth rocky, tunnel till it finally became levelled. It was then he realised that he had come in feet-first and there was no way here to change positions. His irrtation turned into rage and unleashing his saber, he started a fury of wild attacks. His speed was so high, it was over light speed. The tunnel was cut to make a sort of small cave. He then let himself cool down, changed his postion and crawled through the tunnels, head-first.

After crawling about 200 metres, Jaden found a dead end. Unleashing his anger again, he cut the door open with his saber and further, there was another dead end. This one was a roof-fall. Qullous slashed it with his saber but the rock was barely scratched. The saber bounced back instead. Exar Kun reappeared in Qollous' mind. "Use the force, Qollous. These rocks were dropped on me by my master, Freedon Nadd when I crawled through here. Use the Force". Qollous didn't say a word. He used his Dark Rage and fired powerfull lightning on the rocks They sustained it for sometime, only to get brittle and crack up later. Jaden crawled through and found his tunnel ended near the ceiling of some huge tomb.

It was an enormous hall of scorching, red tiles and Sith statues all over the walls. Jaden jumped down walked ahead, glancing at every statue as he passed by them. They usually depicted Sith vicories or the use of the force.He approaced the end of the hall, where the Qollous once again heard Exar Kun. "Good work. I didn't expect you to get this far".

"That's 'coz you didn't reach here, Kun" Jaden answered.
"I did, I did. Now, sense a statue, then use te force to move it over the black tiles. If it is the correct statue, another secret passage shall open up" explained Kun. Qollous plainly nodded. He closed his eyes, put two fingers of each hand to his head and concentrated. In a flash, he pulled a statue depicting the Kel Dor sith's death and laced it over the square of black tiles.

Sounds of primitive mechanics was heard as slowly, the floor in front of him lowered. Jaden jumped on to the floor and descended on a great tomb. It was similar to Ragnos' tomb, but it had lots of junk and rock in it. The thing that interested Jaden the most was a case in front of the grand statue. Slowly, Jaden moved to the case, sensing greed and violence inside the case. Qollous smashed the case with his hand and inside, he found a saber-hilt similar to that of a saberstaff.

The only peculiarity in the saber was that it had four ignition points. At the point of ignition in a saberstaff, two ignition points were placed in it's place. This made the saber-hilt look like an X-Wing. Then, Jaden heard the voice...

"Take that saber Jaden, it has been waiting for a master for 2000 years."

Jaden grabbed the saber, turned and walked away.

Episode 6 Preview:
"We meet again, Jedi".

Crow_Nest 03-07-2004 05:15 AM

Yeah thats a good story! Now all we need is someone to make a new map of it :p

Sabretooth 03-07-2004 08:29 AM

Episode 6: The Trials
Why don't you make one, genius?
Jaden ignited the saber and unleashed 4 blades in an x-shape. "Good work, Qollous! Now you..." the voice was interrupted. "This time I will do it my way! I don't need your tips or hints anymore. I am a Sith! I can do anything!" shouted Jaden.

"Really? Where would you have been if I hadn't guided you? Now listen. You have stolen the saber and must face the trials of the X-Saber. If you win, then only you keep the saber."
"And If I lose?"
"You lose not only your saber but your life."

Just then, a statue of a single-saber duelist came to life and attacked Jaden. Qollous was caught by surprise and suffered a blow on his back. Giving way to his anger, he rammed two of his blades into the duelist's abdomen.
"Good, your next adversary has arrived".
The next opponent, a ninja weilding two saber in a frenzy flashed past Jaden. The Ninja ran at a speed 10 times faster than normal. All Jaden could do was defend himself with his new saber. All this time he could hear the mocks and jeers of the maniac. Finally, Qollous used Force Speed and gave a chase to the ninja throughout the hall. The ninja made a sudden dodge and Jaden, surpised, slammed into a pillar.
The fast Sith held his sabers in front of him like pikes and inserted them deep into the pillar. Qollous sped behind the ninja and with a well-aimed slash, sent the ninja back into his statue.

Darth Qollous turned off his saber and walked slowly to the hole in the ceiling from where he had come. "You still have one more opponent, Qollous."

"Yeah, you."
"You will face me later, first defeat the maker of this saber."

The 40-feet statue of Sith Lord Baret Kloopon came to life and ignite a powerful saberstaff. Each blade of the saberstaff was approximately 30 feet long. The new adversary, although being enormous was lightning fast and made Qollous jump a spider.
Qollous was unable to keep jumping away from the two powerfull blades. He wasn't even able to damage the skin of the Kel Dor. "Are you really that weak, Jaden?"
At being called Jaden and weak, Qollous was fully fueled by Dark Rage and jumped up to the Sith's head. Then, he used two of his blades to penetrate Baret's eyes. The blinded sith covered his eyes as Jaden cut off his life supporter coils which were coiled around his ears.

"How did you know those were his life supporters?" asked Kun as Jaden walked back to his ship.
"Living in the academy does have it's advantages."
"How did that sith get that big?"
"No time now"
"Kun? Kun? Blast it! He disappeared!"

Jaden got on his X-Wing and shot out of Korriban, brandishing a brand new X-Saber.

Qollous had reached about halfway to his destination when a tractor beam from a Star Destroyer caught him. Puzzled, Qollous switched on his comlink. "You imbeciles! I am Darth Qollous!" No reply.
As soon as he reached inside, he found stormtrooper and officer bodies lying all over. "We meet again, Jedi" a voice spoke up on the comlink. Jaden recognized that voice. "I am not a Jedi anymore, Fett."
"I have a surprise for you, enter the command center".

Episode 7 Preview:
"So, you say you're Jaden's brother, eh?"

jon_hill987 03-08-2004 03:29 PM

Yep, very good.
I'm sure someone will turn it into a mod for JA.
I can't,
I'm rubbish.

sadisticmonkey 03-08-2004 08:07 PM

cool. Very cool.

Sabretooth 03-09-2004 04:52 AM

Episode 7: The second encounter with Boba Fett
Thnx guys, I never expected this much! This is my first ever fanfic!
Qollous ignited one blade of his saber and stepped towards the command center which lay in front of him. The doors opened and Jaden switched to a defensive postion, expecting a rain of blaster shots. Instead, a single stormtrooper stood, making a few adjustments. Jaden lowered his saber but didn't turn it off. He movede towards the stormtrooper who turned back and reported, "Sir, everything is under control". Jaden raised his saber and beheaded the stormtrooper.

"You thought you can deceive me, Fett?" said Jaden, leaning over the dead body of the stormtrooper.
"I didn't just think, I have deceived you" replied a voice from behind. Qollous jumped back and the blasters shot out for Jaden. Qollous ignited the rest of the three blades and defended the shots. Fett, who had never seen or heard of such a saber was surprised and stopped shooting. Qollous took advantage of this situation and rushed for Fett.

Fett knew that he had no chance and started running backwards. As Qollous came near, he ignited his flamethrower. Miraculously, the Force prevented Jaden from getting burnt. Fett ran till his back bumped on a wall. He continued shooting, since the flamethrower was useless. Jaden thrust the saber into the wall. Two blades had gone inside the wall and Boba was stranded.

"Now what will you do, the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter?"
Without replying, the bounty hunter used his jet to get out that saber-trap and flew towards the hangar. Qollous reached the hangar and suddenly stopped. He felt dizzy and fell over. Boba got in and escaped the Star Destroyer, but Jaden was in a half-confused, half-afraid state of mind.

Before passing out, he managede to utter a few word, "He... He... He was in that shi..." then he passed out. The Force had disturbed Jaden's mind so abruptly and powerfully that he fainted.
Yavin 4, Jedi Academy

"So, how was it?"
"Not good, that former-Jedi has grown too powerfull and weilded a new saber"
"A new saber?? That's bad"
"Bad??? If I hadn't escaped with the aid of my apprentice, He would have definitely killed me!"
"Your apprentice?"
"Yeah, the name is Mordale Korr"
Mordale stepped forward. He looked remarkably like Jaden. He just had a broader face and his hair colour was slightly more brownish.
"Korr? Jaden's surname is Korr as well"
"Who's Jaden?"
"Doh! The one whom you just faced!

There was complete silence.

"I am Jaden's brother!" declared the young apprentice.
"So, you say you are Jaden's brother, eh?"
"Okay, I'll take your midi-chlorian count. If it's high, you have a good feel of the force and you have a higher chance of proving yourself as Jaden's brother"
"I'm ready"

After the test was complete, Kyle returned with the results. "Mordale, you truly are worthy of being a Jedi and possibly brother of one our most promising students".
Mordale looked at Fett.
"Y'think he's right?"
"My most toughest adversaries have been Jedi. Go on, kid. You were born to be a Jedi. I'll keep checking up on you"
"Thanks, master. Kyle, I'm ready to be a Jedi now"

Episode 8 Preview:
"So, you Imperials had secret weapons all along..."

Writer 03-09-2004 06:18 PM

keep up the good work!

Sabretooth 03-10-2004 04:42 AM

Episode 8: The Imperial Technology
Jaden was in a Star Destroyer. A diffrent one, though. His mind was conorted by the fact that he had sensed his own brother. Was it a force illusion or was it real? Qollous couldn't tell the diffrence.

A stormtrooper commander came up to 'Lord' Qollous.
"Lord Qollous, we have news for you. The production of the Stinger Batch is complete. The TiE crawlers, AT-ATs and AT-STs are also ready".
"The Stinger Batch?" asked Jaden with a questioning glance.
"Uh... Lord Qollous, we forgot to tell you about the..."
Qollous fired a thunderbolt at the stormtrooper.
The stormtrooper replied only after feeling okay. "We remnants created a new wave of war technology in hiding. Our technology is superior to that of the Republic who believe that technology need not be advanced further. Our Technology centers lie on the planet of Scorate, slightly further from the Outer Rim."
"You still haven't answered my question, what is this Stinger Batch?"
"Sorry, Sir. We have developed a design of bombers and interceptors much more superior than the TiEs and the Republic Fleet"..
"I want to see these 'Stingers' myself. Go to Scorate".
"Yes, Lord Qollous"

The Stormtrooper returned to the command center and Qollous thought about it all. Soon, they were in hyperspace and when they jumped out, an emormous water planet loomed ahead. Qollous stood gazing at the planet. His comlink spoke up, "Lord Qollous, we have arrived."
"Good. Come with me. I need a guide, after all." replied Jaden and got to the hangar. The Stormtrooper officer was giving orders to a few stormtroopers there. As soon as the other stormtroopers dispersed, Jaden and the Officer got into their TiEs and sped towards Scorate.

Soon they had arrived and Qollous was taking a tour. Their first spot was the Stinger Fields were the magnificent birds lay. The Stinger Interceptor was seen first. It had a sleek fuselage, morestreamlined than the Raven's Claw. It's wings were bent back and completely vertical. The officer explained that the vertical wings can be retracted to horizontal also to give better maneuvrability than speed. It's back was the special feature of the ship. It's back was curving down similar to that of a scorpion's tail. The interceptor had two lasers on the 'sting' as well as a powerlaser.

The next version, Stinger Bomber was similar. The diffrence was that the tail was not curved too much to focus targeting the surface. The 'bomb' of the Bomber was actually a powerfull antimatter core created by the magnificent bomber by it's bomb generator. It also sported two mini-lasers.

There were many other such variations of the stingers there. "Any other development?"
"Yes. The stormtrooper armor is changed as well."
A trooper, clad in a clone-trooper-like armor came ahead. His armor's main diffrence was that it was black and grey and a glowing golden Imperial Symbol was seen on his forehead.

"How many such Stingers do you have?"
"1 million Interceptors, 50,000 bombers and 75,000 light bombers."
Jaden took a minute to look at every ship and mech. Finally, he spoke. "So, you Imperials had secret weapons all along"
"We are ready, sir, just mention our first target to blitz and destroy".
"Your first target is Jedi Academy on Yavin 4".

Episode 9 Preview:
"Got news, Luke. Jaden is raiding the Academy with his new army".

Michael Plant 03-11-2004 10:47 PM

Absolutely wonderful!:D :D :D

topshot 03-11-2004 11:46 PM

This is a well thought out story, and basing it off the Dark path in JA certainly is a good twist. If you keep 'em coming, we'll keep sending feedback!

As if I hadn't said that before! :p

Sabretooth 03-12-2004 04:27 AM

Episode 9: The second battle of Yavin 4
The army of Star Destroyers was stationed just outside Yavin 4. Two TiE interceptors approached the destroyers from Yavin 4. On board, Qollous was thinking hard, trying to sense the feelings of every single Jedi on the planet. "So, they had a new batch of students just after I left, huh? If they think they can stop the Empire with that, they have already commited their greatest mistake".

The doors to his chambers opened and two Imperial spies arrived, escorted by five new stormtroopers. "So, what are their plans?"
The first spy spoke, "They don't seem to expect an attack but are alert. Our best shot to get them will be at dawn which should break out soon. We should get movin', Lord Qollous".
Qollous turned to the StormOfficer and spoke, "Is everything ready?"
"Yes sir"
"Good, commence the attack"

Soon, stingers shot out of the Star Destroyers and headed for Yavin 4. There were moving towards the forest to the east from where they will turbo to blitz the Massassi Temple. After the last stinger left, the mech carriers proceeded to Yavin. They would settle to the north, release the mechs and attack the temple. Then came the carriers of the immense Imperial army. The drop-off points were set strategically and the temple would be attacked from all directions.

Qollous himself piloted a Stinger Interceptor and led the flying army. The stingers reached the forest as planned and headed for the Massassi temple. The sun was rising behind the stingers, watching the pre-battle scene. Jaden's sleek blue and silver interceptor set it's first target on the window pillars of the Academy Halls. The pillars were crushed by Jaden's lasers and fell off. The stingers quickly divided into their formations and attacked the temple.

The Jedi were already out, defending the blaster shots from the stormtroopers and killing them. The mechs were ravaging the forest and blasting off anything that held a lightsaber. The special division of the Imperial army, the Swooper Squadron launched off their carrier and zipped past the stormtroopers and trees to get the Jedi who were overwhelmed by the sudden and powerful attack.

Jaden landed his stinger inside the Academy Hall. He got out he felt a river of the Light Side flowing through him. He shook himself and stormed the temple from the inside, killing everyone.
Kyle was moving through th corridors of the academy, looking for any stormtroopers that might have entered. He reached the Hall, where many corridors met and where most Jedi would 'hang out'. He reached the center and met his old student who ambushed Kyle.

"Jaden, you... you are back"
"I am not Jaden, Kyle. I am Darth Qollous, and I am going to end your miserable life".
"Stop it, Jaden. You have gone far enough. We can end this battle now if you..." he never finished his sentence.
Qollous had ignited his four-bladed lightsaber because of which Kyle stood stunned.

"Now do you know the what the Dark Side can offer?" asked Qollous as he attacked Kyle in a fast Kata.
Kyle ignited his saber which was almost useless in front of the X-Saber and for the first time, Kyle backed away from a duel.

Kyle approached Luke who was finishing off stormtroopers. "Got news, Luke. Jaden is raiding the Academy with his new army".
"I can see that, Kyle, but what? Jaden?"
"Yep, I saw him just now. He calls himself Darth Colon or something and he has got some sort of four-bladed saber which looks like an X-Wing".
A voice replied from behind them, "It's called a X-Saber, Kyle and it's gonna KILL YOU!"

Episode 10 Preview:
"Sir, we have conquered Yavin 4".

jon_hill987 03-12-2004 07:25 AM

OOOOOOO! bit of a clifhanger there. you cant kill off kyle though, surely? nah not gonna happen. Kyle and luke will live.

when work out how to make sabers for Jedi Accademy, that X-saber is gonna be the next one I do!

(off toppic but any help with skinmapping in Gmax gr8fuly recived!)

Sabretooth 03-13-2004 04:14 AM

Episode 10: Imperial Victory
The two Jedi stood in a defensive stance. The Sith had a wide grin on his face. He rushed ahead with the X-Saber in front of him. The two blocked it by applying force with their sabers on each side of Qollous' saber. This ended up in a tough saber lock where Jaden finally forced his way through. Kyle swooped his saber near Qollous' arm and Luke tried to use Mind Trick. Jaden thrust his saber over at Luke who ducked and went over to Kyle's side.

Qollous, rather than facing the two, got on an empty swoop and zipped through, attacking the others. This left Kyle and Luke puzzled.
"Why do you think he would just leave us? He was too confident that he would beat us..." Luke grabbed Kyle and lunged into the bush. Soon, a shock antimatter bomb fell on their former postion. The place was bombed.
"Got it" approved Kyle. He ran from one place to another. The stingers were attacking them. Luke and Kyle defended some and evaded some, but the Imperial army was too overwhelming. Wave after waves of stingers and troops raided the temple.

"Kyle, I think we might need to evacuate from here".
"Good Idea. I'll tell everyone to get out, if anybody is left, that is".

Kyle sprinted, looking for survivors. He found the armour-clad Mordale Korr killing stormtroopers with his regiment. "Mordale, we should best get out of here".

Mordale had been one the best students. He had also been the quickest student, in just about a week, he had earned the status of Jedi. He had completed a countless number of missions successfully throughout the galaxy in the week.

"OK, Where shall we go?"
"Fine, we'll meet you there".
"Good, notify others as well".
"Yes, Master Kyle".
Mordale and his Jedi ran for their X-Wings. Soon, they were in the air, but still under attack. One unfortunate Jedi was shot down. The group turned to Coruscant after leaving the Yavin atmosphere and jumped into hyperspace.
Qollous tood on top of the Massassi temple, where the spirit of Exar Kun had appeared. "What happened now, Kun? Why so quiet?"
"That was the plan, guess it failed".
"Why shall you do next?"
"Establish the New Empire. Without you help".
Once again, he leapt off the temple and landed on the ground without a scratch. The troopers were checking for any captives.
A stormtrooper officer approached Qollous. "What hapened to the Jedi?" asked the Sith Lord.
"They fled, Lord Qollous"
"There's only one place where they can flee" mumbled Jaden.
"Sir, we have conquered Yavin 4".
"Good Work, offficer. Re-build your army, I have already decided the next target..."

Episode 11 Preview:
"Says here that Ben visited a planet called Kamino before the Clone Wars. Wonder what's on that planet?"

Sabretooth 03-15-2004 05:26 AM

Episode 11: Return to Kamino
"So what's the plan?" asked Kyle after Luke returned form the chamber of the Supreme Chancellor Tyrol.
"The republic army will be rebuilt and strengthened to form a wall around Yavin 4. Any Remnant activity will be terminated without question."
"Good, but Jaden will unpenetrable. His army is ten times more organized than the Republic Army."
"Remember the clone wars? The earlier rebuplic was in a similar situation. Maybe we can get these "clones" if they are there and use them against the Imperials."
"How did the Republic end up when they used the clones?"
"Kyle, seek information on the clones and try and influence them if you find them."
"Sure thing, Luke".

Kyle was accessing info from the ruins of the computer at the Jedi Temple.
"Lets see... Clones. Hmm... The clones were an organized force of the republic formed... blah... blah... useless stuff... hah! Origin of the clones... this is interesting... Kamino? Never heard of it. Gotta contact Luke".
He pulled out his comlink and called up Luke.
"Says here that Ben visited a planet called Kamino before the Clone Wars. Wonder what's on that planet?"
"Kamino... Ben once told be about it. It was some water planet where he encountered Jango Fett who seems to be Boba's father. But nothing else".
"Well, well. I never expected ol bennie to hide a secret from you. I'll read - Obi-Wan Kenobi visited the planet called Kamino before the clone wars where he found the clone army and it turned out it was being made before by an order placed by Master Sifo-Dyas".
"Kyle, go to..."
"Kamino and invetigate, right? I knew that was coming".

Kyle pulled out of hperspace just outside Kamino. On going inside, he found the immense water bodies, storms and the cities. "Perfect place for refuge, eh R4?" The droid plainly beeped in response. Finding the co-ordinates, Kyle landed his crafted precisely where Master Obi-Wan Kenobi had placed it 50 years before. He got, pulling his cloak over himself and walked into the corridors or the strange building. A strange being, a Kaminoan approached him.
"You are..."
"Kyle Katarn, new Republic Jedi Academy, Jedi Master".
"New republic? Has it changed?"
"Ummm.... no. No, it hasn't"
"Please, if you wish to discuss the clones, please meet our new Prime Minister, Klam Lur."

Episode 12 Preview:
"Luke, the clones are ready".

jon_hill987 03-15-2004 07:27 AM

I got a new title for your story, how about:

STAR WARS: The Attack of the clones Strikes Back


Oh and I said Luke and Kyle would be ok didn't I.

jon_hill987 03-15-2004 04:06 PM

Well I haven't worked out how to make sabers for JA yet. still waiting for people to get back to me with tutorials/help.

anyway I thought I'd have a go modeling the X-Saber.

Is this the basic shape you were thinking of or is it compleatly wrong?

congratulations on another good episode by the way.

Sabretooth 03-16-2004 05:00 AM

Series 2
Yep, thats how it is. Just don't make that crude. Also, there is a sort of slider which determines the X angle. (Understood that?)
Series 2
Starting tomorrow

Jaden must use his new army to defeat the Republic and establish the Second Empire. Will he be successful?

jon_hill987 03-16-2004 08:12 AM

Yeah, it was never going to be like that, I was just geting the basic shape right. dunno how to implement the slider though, might have to do without that.

Sabretooth 03-17-2004 09:04 AM

Episode 12: Battle over Dantooine
Blasters were traded from one position to another. The sandtroopers shifted and used their advanced battle technology. The Republic fired from the open ground, reducing the Imperial numbers.
Overhead, X-Wings clashed with the stingers and it was raining burning planes on the sandy wastes of Dantooine. The rough terrain stopped any mechs and thus, was mainly a foot war.

The republics were dropping, their low armour unable to protect them from the heat. The new sandtroopers had ventilation spots and cooling system under their armour which kept them cool. They fought effectively as their adversaries fell in nubers. The X-Wings, with their manual controls and old technology, crashed to the merciless ground after being shot by the stingers. The smell of another Imperial Victory was certain.
Meanwhile, Kyle was viewing the clones with the Prime Minister, Klam Lur.
"Are you satisfied with the army we have assembled, Master Kyle?" asked the Prime Minister.
"Impressive, good enough to beat the Imperials".
"The Imperials?"
"Yeah, they returned."
"But who are the Imperials?"
Kyle took a minte and then answered.
"Well, the republic was destroyed by as new force known as the Empire, the Rebels defeated the Empire, New Republic formed and now the Imperials are back".
"A lot of things must have happened since Kamino last gave the clones"
"Yeah, a lot. So as I said, the clones are ours?"
"Yes, Master Kyle, they are yours. New clones will always be produced."
"Good, we need tem now"
"Sure, the ships are ready to be launched"

As the Prime Minister left, Kyle turned to have a good look at the clones getting ready and boarding their ships. "This is gonna be big" he mumbled.
He pulled out his comlink and switched it on.
"Luke, the clones are ready".
"So you found Kamino. You'll have to lead a battle at Dantooine where we have almost lost now"
"Got it".
The remaining Republic troops were cornered and forced to surrender. Raising their hands, both troops and pilots were taken towards the troop carriers. Suddenly, a group of sandtrooper was bombed and a new war began. The battle theme resumed and the without the aid of the stingers who had already settled in the Destroyers, the Imperial army was nothing. The clones made a clean sweep, killing all stormtroopers and sandtroopers. The carriers were also bombed.

Above the planet, battle began with Imperial stingers maneuvaring the sleek Clone Fighters. The battle was fierce as both sides were well matched and soon the head Republic ship started firing the slow, retreating Star Destroyer. The commander called for a retreat. All the stingers swarmed into the ship and soon the the Sta Destroyer disappered into hyperspace.

The Republic had won Dantooine due to the Clones.

Episode 13 Preview:
"Is that so? Very well, attack the Republic's heart..."

LukeKatarn 03-17-2004 10:28 AM

(Sabertooth Dantooine is not sandy Dantooine is grassy.)

Sabretooth 03-17-2004 11:44 AM

Well, the whole planet can't be grassy, can it? Dantooine also has a "western" style desert (I think so). The Republic knows that rare animals are found in the grassy region and so they postioned their troops at the desert. The Imperials, without thought, attacked.

LukeKatarn 03-17-2004 12:17 PM


Originally posted by sabretooth
Well, the whole planet can't be grassy, can it? Dantooine also has a "western" style desert (I think so). The Republic knows that rare animals are found in the grassy region and so they postioned their troops at the desert. The Imperials, without thought, attacked.
Ok thanks (but realy I do not think that it has a dessert)

jon_hill987 03-18-2004 07:25 AM

Mu ha ha ha ha haa! It worked! untextured but it worked! Qollous.bmp

It will look much better when I work out (or am told) how to get a texture map on it. Its also a bit to powerfull for MP but never mind.

Sabretooth 03-18-2004 08:08 AM


I never even dreamed of seeing an actual X-Saber. Guess you really did it! Add good textures and other stuff and that thing is gonna be a smash hit at! (If it is open right now)

BTW, Next time, use only pg or gif formats. I can't load BMP files.

jon_hill987 03-18-2004 02:58 PM


Originally posted by sabretooth
BTW, Next time, use only pg or gif formats. I can't load BMP files.
I take it you ment jpg, sorry I guess you didn't see the 2nd picture then.

here it is as Jpg.

I ment to put it as Jpg to start with but I clicked the wrong button in paint.

Sabretooth 03-19-2004 05:15 AM

Episode 13: The Plans for a new battle
That is precisely the scene where Kyle stands stunned as Qollous unleashes his X-Saber. Great work, man! Send me that saber!
"Lord Qollous, we are losing troops".
"The Clones... The Republics army..." Jaden meditated deeply.
"Sir, Grand Admiral Fosetter has a plan".
The doors to the Planning Room opened as the Nautolan Grand Admiral entered the room, his green tentacles hanging behind him.

He spoke first in his raspy, nautolan voice, "Lord Qollous, the clones are clearing planet by planet. We shall soon be discovered unless we strike the clones with our army. They are certainly outnumbered but much more intelligent and organised. It would take our full strength to stop them".
Qollous took a minute to think and replied, "Better yet, it would be better to strike the foundation so that the pyramid collapses."
"Yes, but we must make it fast, the planet of Ord Magniola lies at stake. It is an important planet, rich in minerals and resources. We cannot afford to lose that planet".

Qollous leaned back and closed his eyes. He then re-opened them and answered. "Is that so? Very well, attack the Republic's heart, Coruscant!"
"But sir, what about Ord Magniola?"
"Distract the republic by setting up the planet as a batlefield. I'll lead an attack on Coruscant, bomb the place. The republic will surely call back the clones and Ord Magniola is ours. By that time, we will be out in the space. Then, send the Imperial Army and attack Coruscant again and devastate it. Got that?"

"Uh... Yes Sir".
The clone approached General Yal'ra.
"Sir, we have scanned Teryen, Vjun, Byss, Koloin, Minals, Zoptres and Laandrok. No sign of the Remnants."
"Not even on Vjun?"
"No, sir".
"What about that mountain planet?"
"Ord Magniola?"
The general nodded.
"Sir, we are ready to attack. It apparently holds a tremendous bounty of resources and Imperial activity was seen by recon."
"When shall you attack it?"
"Plans are for 5:25 CST (Coruscant Standard Time)."
"Make it earlier, I sense an Imperial plan. Switch it to 3:10 CST".
"Yes, sir".
The clone commander informed the head lieutenants on the attack about the new timing.
"By the way, commander, how many planets are reconquered so far?"
"24, Sir".
"Seems like the progress of you clones is going good, eh?"
"You don't always have to be so formal, you know".
"Yes, sir".
The general sighed and left the hangar where the clones were getting ready.

Episode 14 Preview:
"Lord Qollous, we are under heavy attack, we...."

jon_hill987 03-19-2004 07:08 AM

Re: Episode 12: The Plans for a new battle

Originally posted by sabretooth
That is precisely the scene where Kyle stands stunned as Qollous unleashes his X-Saber. Great work, man! Send me that saber!
Sure, I'll make sure I send it to you first when its finished, only fair as you gave me the idea. I do want to get it textured first though (I'm using Gmax, any help with that will be gr8fully recived. post it on JA modeling, more hilt problems, though pleaze)

Oh and that thing about Dantooine, it could be desert, maybe the Imperials got angry and really messed it up after finding that there were no rebels there in A New Hope.

Ziechel 03-19-2004 01:17 PM

Maybe you can give me a tip to make models in gmax, John, pm me plz when you have time or send me a tutorial, i would be happy.
Go on with your story, sabretooth it is great!!!

Sabretooth 03-20-2004 06:07 AM

Episode 14: Ord Magniola
Thanks Ziechel! OK, I ask all you guys to rate my fanfic using the forums rate feature.
The Imperials stood ready. Scattered along the mountains, awaiting the attack after 4 hours. The guns were kept in place and everything was set and ready. Imperial dreadnoughts orbited the planet, working as scouts. No one expected an early attack. No one.
Dreadnout Unit 319 was the first to witness the attack. She was calmly floating in the space outside Ord Magniola when suddenly, out of hyperspace, the clone army jumped out. The dreadnought opened fire but was too late. The clone lasers broke the ship into 4 peices.
Alerted, the other dreadnoughts started attacking the clones, but the clones were just too strong for them.

Stingers shot from the underground hangars and caused a nuisance to the clones. The clone carriers were big and bulky, yet had amazing firepower. The stingersbroke off the balloon shooters and aimed for the cockpits. The clones on the other hand, bombed the mountains. The troop carriers landed and the ground war began. Stormtroopers used guerilla tactics and evaded the clones who were infilitrating and destroying the Imperials.
The chief stormtrooper officer was making his plans.
"It's not possible! They cannot attack so early! Must contact Lord... Must contact lord..."
After the last clone ship left, Qollous gave the signal and the ships, cloaked and hidden infiltrated Coruscant. Their first targets were the senate buildings and other head buildings. On sensing stingers, Luke commanded the X-Wing and Clone squadrons to attack immediatly.
The stingers bombed every part of precious Coruscant, softening it for the future attack. As Jaden flew towards the horizon, he made a startling discovery. "Wait a minute... The clones left early. It is just afternoon when the attack was expected at even..." he was cut off by a comlink message.
"Lord Qollous, we are under heavy attack, we...." an explosion was heard in the background.
"Unit! Officer?!" yelled Qollous at the comlink.
No reply.
"Blastit! We lost Ord Magniola. All stingers retreat, repeat, all stingers retreat to Scorate. We have lost Ord Magniola".
"Roger." the others replied.
"You guys head on, I've got some business here..." said Qollous.
The stinger shot off. The Jedi were chasing them into space. Qollous positioned his stinger behind Luke's X-Wing and fired. Luke evaded the shot and the two engaged in a tight dogfight.
"You know the plans?" asked Qollous.
"Yep" replied the head pilot "Let's dump them in Troxica".

Episode 15 Preview:
"Luke, I have a baaaad feeling about this..."

Sabretooth 03-22-2004 08:54 AM

Episode 15: Trapped
The X-Wings ere chasing the retreating stingers. The stingers headed for the planet of Troxica and zipped into hyperspace. The X-Wings followed them nto hyperspace and soon jumped out, over the planet of Troxica. The planet was ice-capped and there was a rough, desert strip in the middle. The Imperials flew straight overhead the harsh planet and suddenly, dived into the atmosphere.
Too late to turn back, the Jedi followed, firing on every stinger in sight. As soon as the group reached the cloudy surface, five stingers shifted to the back, behind the X-Wings. The X-Wing Jedi, who weren't used to such hard missions were lost on the planet. Whereas the stinger pilots managed to see with their clear-cut vision.
The shooting began again as the stingers fired at the X-Wings. The shots were accurate and soon, the X-Wings fell, destroyed. Some Jedi died, but most survived. The stingers, having done their job, flew back into hyperspace for Scorate.

Below, on the chilling, snowy ground, the Jedi tried to recollect and grasp the situation. They were out in the cold, stranded, defeated and as good as dead. If the Force doesn't keep them alive, nothing will.
Kyle moved over and hauled out a comrade, Jedi Knight Gyro Menanse. "You okay?" asked Kyle. "Yeah" answered the Zabrak Jedi.
Luke walked over to Kyle who had collected all students.
"Quite a vacation we're having, eh?" asked Kyle.
"Kyle, we must find a way to get out. Wait, I have the comlink. Hello? Hel... Oh no. The comlink is out, too".

A sound was heard, the sound of carnivores. The sudden feeling of insecurity fell like a curtain over the students. Some even ignited their lightsabers. Luke began, "Students, we must not..." A concussion shot blasted off half of the students. Those who survied, spread out and set up at diffrent positions in the ice valley. Two hazard troopers appeared from the dense fog. They chatted for a while and set off again, through the valley. They were larger than normal, in black and held the Imperial, golden logo on their foreheads. They also seemed to have better armour.

A student jumped out and rushed with his lightsaber. The alerted hazardtrooper fired and the Jedi was the victim of the shot.
"Watch out, these guys can be anywhere" the hazard trooper warned.
From behind, Kyle struck hard on the head of the hazard trooper who fell down to his death. The other one turned and fired. In a fraction of a second, kyle used push and the shot hit the hazard trooper who fell. His concussion rifle skid to Kyle's leg, who, triumphantly walked over to the trooper.
The trooper grabbed Kyle, only to be sabered on his chest. The trooper then fell backwards, Kyle standing on him.
"Okay, listen up kid. I've got some questions for you" said Kyle, smiling at the defeated Hazard Trooper.

Episode 16 Preview:
"What are my orders?"

Sabretooth 03-23-2004 08:54 AM

Episode 16: Raid on Coruscant
"Sir, the clones have returned to Coruscant for further briefing" reported the scout.
"It will be ideal to strike Coruscant now, when they won't expect anything" suggested Admiral Fosetter.
"Right. Admiral, you take over the raid on Coruscant. Units 20, 31 and 56 will come with me to... somewhere" replied Darth Qollous.
"Sir?" asked the scout.
"That's right. The force is leading me to the origin of the clones. As the Grand Admiral said, once the foundation is broken, the pyramid will collapes".
The Grand Admiral smiled.
"What are my orders?" he asked
"Damage Coruscant as much as you can. I've already softened it for you guys".
"All Right".
The clones were entering Coruscant, at ease when suddenly a laser blasted off the main carrier. The others got alerted and turned back to face the new enemy. The Star Destroyer released it's swarm of stingers, hungry for vengeance.
The clones fired, but the stingers navigated into the clones' ships and fired them off. The Imperials shot a ray straight for Coruscant which landed at an industrial sector.More and more rays were fired as one by one, Star Destroyers emerged from Hyperspace.
Finally, the Clone Carrier was destroyed due to repeated fire. The stingers went down to Coruscant and attacked the taking off clones.
The Star Destroyers continued blasting off Coruscant's landscape. The Admiral's stinger headed for the buildings near the Senate and found the Supreme Chancellor, escaping. The Nautolan grinned and fired at the senator. The chancellor was shot down and so were many other senators.

The admiral gave an order and te Destroyers stopped firing. The stingers settled at the docking bays. The clones were destroyed. The Admiral landed, gazing at the newly conquered planet.
"Heh, the sweet smell of victory".
Qollous brought his stinger along with the 20 others and raided Kamino. The clones-in-training were caught by surprise and fell to the group of stingers. Jaden used tactics to destroy the pillars holding the buildings and sunk them to the water. Then, he landed his craft, ready to kill.
Igniting one blade, he rushed into the heart of the cloning facility and mercilessly slaughtered every single clone. In his fury, he even killed some Kaminoans. A comlink messaged informed him that a stinger bomber was shot down. Luckily, it crashed straight into the cloning tanks.
Qollous learned that the attack on Coruscant had began. He got up to the platform where he had landed his tinger, only to see flying clone carriers. Soon, a blast and one of the clone carriers fell into the endless ocean. A few more followed it. Jaden got into his stinger and shot down any clones in the air, cutting the Republic's reinforcements.
Soon, he got a comlink message, "Sir, it appears we have Coruscant in our hands".
"Good, what about the Jedi?"
"Uh... they're dead. We finished them at Troxica..."

Episode 17 Preview:
"And the Empire caught us when we weren't looking???"

Sabretooth 03-27-2004 09:36 AM

Episode 17: Escape from Troxica
It had now been about eight hours that the Jedi were stranded at Troxica. After a long time, Luke spoke up, "Mordale, I sense we're nearby. Go up and look for the base".
Mordale nodded and using his jetpack, flew up. He hovered above for a while, then went ahead, still looking around. Finally, dissappointed, he returned back to his group.
"No result, Master Luke. The base is out of sight."
Soon, the group of Jedi came upon a dead end. The canyon ended up as right there. The Jedi spread, abandoning the hope of going back.
"Next time, Luke, let the republic handle the planes" advised Kyle.
A Rodian Jedi, Quman H'Jalaraa was lingering about when he finally collapsed on a rock, exhausted. The rock turned out to be hard as steel. The Rodian's suction hands were also stuck onto the rock. Puzzled, the Rodian emitted a high-pitched Rodian call which brought all the Jedi to him. With some effort, he jerked his hand away from the rock.
Mordale ignited one blade of his saberstaff and cut out a large circle in the rock, with the aid of some more Jedi. The piece of rock fell in, revealing an enormous Imperial base.

While peeping, Mordale leaned too far and fell in. He had a hard landing on the floor of the base where stormtroopers were moving things. Alarmed, they opened fire. Mordale suffered some shots, but defended many. The alarm was sounded and the enormous hangar started getting filled with stormtroopers.
"Well, atleast Boba is not here" whispered Mordale to himself.

Soon, the Jedi fell down, one-by-one and started killing the stormtroopers. Mordale rushed to one of the lifts and set off, going upwards. He soon came upon a room. It was actually an office where an Imperial Officer was working.
"Oh, look whose here. An Imperial Officer, eh?"
"W-Who are y-you? Th-the Jedi were k-killed, right?"
Mordale ignited his lightsaber. That answered the officer's question.
Mordale stepped ahead, towards the officer who backed away and eventually ran off. Mordale used force pull to bring back the fleeing officer. He took him in his hands and interrogated him.
"Who commanded you"
"L-lord Qollous"
"D-Darth Q-Q-Qollous"
"What did he tell you?"
"Leave the J-J-J-Jedi stranded o-on this planet"
"Where is he?"
"I don't kn-know"
Mordale brought his lightsaber closer to the officer.
"I really don't know! He must be at Coruscant, celebrating his victory"
"Yes, Lord Qollous captured Coruscant when you were away"
"Are you telling the truth?"
"And the Empire caught us when we weren't looking???"
"Where's the hangar bay?"
"Down two floors, right lift, up three floors, turbolift right 6 floors down. The hangar bay is there"
"You sure?"
"All right"
He flung the officer ahead and proceeded to the Jedi.

Episode 18 Preview:
"I knew they would escape. Unforutnately for them, I have other plans..."

Crow_Nest 03-27-2004 01:23 PM

haha thats cool! :thumbsup:

maybe you can write a book about it :D

Sabretooth 03-27-2004 01:56 PM

Every time I start off with a book, I scrap the idea as lame. I wanted to make a fanfic so that others can actually judge my story. Besides, I like fanfics. You never know what's gonna happen next... :dev3"

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