LucasForums

LucasForums (http://www.lucasforums.com/index.php)
-   Coruscant Entertainment Centre (http://www.lucasforums.com/forumdisplay.php?f=640)
-   -   [FIC]The Mandalorian Wars (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=173319)

Anakin Skywalker 12-06-2006 08:22 AM

[FIC]The Mandalorian Wars
 
http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r.../mandowars.jpg
Thanks to D'Albetot for making the pic.



Star Wars

The Mandalorian Wars

It is a great time of peril within the Republic.... The Mandalorians are attacking the Outer Rims. Carth Onasi, and his mentor Saul Karath, request that the Jedi help them to destroy the Mandalorians. The Jedi Council unsure of their intensions, debate on whether or not they should help for fear of some Jedi falling to the Darkside.

Revan, a Jedi Knight, disagrees with the Council's debatings. He gathers up hundreds of Jedi, including his best friend Malak and his brother Doshin, to go to the Outer Rims and attack the Mandalorians. But, a sixteen year old padawan named Bastila, was warning the Jedi not to go into battle, to heed the Council's warnings. Revan refused to listen to his friend, who in the Jedi Civil War fell in love with him.


Prologue....

"Do not go to the Outer Rims and fight the Mandalorians!" Bastila warned in the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine... "The Council said not to!"

"I don't care Bastila," Revan said putting on the mask that Master Kreia had given him, when he had decided to leave the Jedi Order.

Wait, Revan, I'm coming with you!" An old woman said running out of the Enclave.

"Kreia?" Revan asked, suprisedly. "You want to go?"

"Yes, an old woman can't go?" Kreia asked.

"No, now that's not what I said, I just asked why you wanted to go." Revan replied.

"There are many reasons... to destroy the Mandalorians is one." Kriea replied.

"Good-bye, Bastila, my friend, I will see you when the War is over." Revan said slipping on the Robes that he made, over a black Jedi robe.

"Fine Revan, but when you fall to the Darkside, you can't say I didn't warn you." Bastila replied.

What Bastila didn't know though was that Revan had already fallen to the Darkside, but he hid it from the Council.

The four immedately left Dantooine and went to Dxun.....

Diego Varen 12-06-2006 10:53 AM

This was my first attempt at writing here at LF. The Mandalorian Wars. Of course I deleted it now. Anyway, it looks good RSM and I'm looking foward to the Prologue. I hope your attempt at this goes better than mine.

Tip:

Don't try to write more than one Fic at a time. Stick with one.

CSI 12-06-2006 06:31 PM

Eh, rival, nice prologue outta there...Keep up.

I agree with Pottsie. Stick with one fic at one time. Or you'll get messed up.

Anakin Skywalker 12-06-2006 08:15 PM

well, the other fic is dead.... i'm having writer's block

HK-42 12-06-2006 09:03 PM

i thought you were writing the Darth revan fic, and the lightsaber fic

Anakin Skywalker 12-06-2006 09:55 PM

I am Grivis, but the lightsaber one, I'm having Writer's Block on so I've stopped that one.... for now....

Rabish Bini 12-07-2006 04:03 AM

Nice prologue, although i dont think that Revan had already fallen at that time...

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 10:57 AM

Chapter 1

"Revan, we are preparing to land on the Onderon moon of Dxun." Kreia said.

"Very good!" Revan replied.

"Revan, when are we going to continure our search for the Star Forge?" Malak whispered into Revan's ear.

"Soon enough, Apprentice, soon enough." Revan said.


"BOMB THE WORLD!" Revan's brother, Valen, said.

"NO! We will fight this war, like the war with Exar Kun.... with Lightsabers and blasters." Revan said. "While you three; Valen, Kreia, and Malak; are down there, I'm going to look for something, a weak spot within the Mandalorian Base."

"Great Idea, but maybe I should come with you." Malak said.

"No, this is something that I have to do on my own." Revan told him.

Malak, realizing, what he was really going to do said, "Oh, yes of course."

Revan's ship flew to the Sith Tomb of Freedon Nadd. He got out and started to walk inside, when...... Mandalorians appeared all around him. They thought a Jedi? This is going to be very easy! Revan ignited his lightsaber, and deflected the Blaster Bolts, then used Force Lightning to end the Mandalorinans miserable lives.... he walked into the tomb.

Meanwhile......

"Malak, go to the Mandalorian base, and destroy them." Valen said.

"I do not obey you, Valen, but I obey your brother." Malak replied.

"You will do this, or I will end your life!" Valen said bitterly.

Malak backed down.... "Of course.... I will order the destruction of the Mandalorians...." Malak activated his comlink. "Saul Karath, and Carth Onasi, I want you two to lead the assult on the Mandalorian base!"

Saul's holographic figure replied.... "Of course, anything to help the Jedi."

Valen boarded a shuttle with Malak, they were going down to help the Republic win this battle. "Valen...." Malak started.

"Cut the small talk, Malak." Valen replied.

"Of course, but I was wondering, are you attracted to Atris?" Malak said continuing his question.

"Once upon a time.... I did." He replied... "But the shutta should have followed us... I could sense her wanting to."

"Now, now, anger leads to the Darkside...." Malak said mockingly. "Revan and I know that path far too much."

"What do you mean?" Valen asked Malak.

"Get ready to fight!" Kreia said, changing the subject so Valen wouldn't kill Revan or Malak.

The shuttle doors opened and all three jumped out, double-bladed lightsabers ignited in Valen and Kreia's hands, and a single hilt red in Malak's.

Kreia's red blades chopped Mandalorians into bits, while Valen's Purple blades deflected blaster bolts. Malak ran to the Mandalorians base, looking for Mandalore.

Back at the Tomb.....

"Yes, Revan, can I help you?" Freedon Nadd's disembodied spirit asked.

"Yes, I want you to train me in the ways of the Sith." He replied.

"Lesson One, do not let your guard down...." Freedon Nadd started to say.

BOOM! The tomb shook, and Spirits appeared around Revan, circling him. He ignited one end of his Double-Bladed Red Lightsaber. The spirits attacked....

Revan, cut through nine of them with one sweep of his lightsaber.... Only five more to go. He cut through four more, but the last one grew bigger and bigger, and a whole lot more powerful. The last one shot Force Lightning out of it's hand, but Revan deflected it and countered it with Force Lightning that was far more powerful than that of the spirits. The spirit disappeared.

Diego Varen 12-09-2006 11:00 AM

Good Chapter, but I agree with what AkumaSF said. I doubt Revan had fallen to the dark side yet. He didn't fall until after Malachor V, I believe. Still, it is your Fic and I'm looking foward to more.

Kas'!m 12-09-2006 11:03 AM

Why does Valen's name sound familiar?

Diego Varen 12-09-2006 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kas'!m
Why does Valen's name sound familiar?

It sounds familiar to Varen, my Revan's surname.

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 11:22 AM

I don't know.... but I used it from one of my previous fics... one that's not on here. So I don't know why it sounds familar to you....

@Pottsie.... I believe that Revan and Malak had found the Star Map while on Dantooine, in fear that the Council would stop them when and if they came back.

Kas'!m 12-09-2006 11:27 AM

What I meant was that it sounded like my character's name. Valek, Valen. See?

Anyway, good chapter. But I thought Bastila was 14 because she was 19 in KOTOR at least according to Mission.

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 11:28 AM

I used it from one of my previous fics, I wasn't even thinkin about that.......

Diego Varen 12-09-2006 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kas'!m
What I meant was that it sounded like my character's name. Valek, Valen. See?

Anyway, good chapter. But I thought Bastila was 14 because she was 19 in KOTOR at least according to Mission.

Bastila fourteen? That was Mission, Bastila would be in her twenties at least.

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 11:35 AM

No Pottsie, he meant she was fourteen in the Mandalorian Wars.

Diego Varen 12-09-2006 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RevanSithMaster
No Pottsie, he meant she was fourteen in the Mandalorian Wars.

Oh right.

CSI 12-09-2006 04:41 PM

It's good chapter, eh and looking forward to see more.

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 10:34 PM

Capter 2

It wasn't long until the battle of Dxun was a victory for the Republic. Revan was out of the Tomb, and on his way to his flagship, when he got a message from Master Vandar.

"The Senate, requests to see you, Revan...." Vandar started.

"I know, I sensed that they were awaiting me...." Revan said.

"Good, they have grown impatient..." Vandar stated.

"Don't worry, just stall them as long as it takes." Revan said.

"I will Revan!" Vandar's holographic figure said, dissappearing.

Revan landed back on his flagship. "Malak, Valen, and Kriea... the Senate requests my presence... I am putting you three in charge of the Republic fleet... use them to your whim."

They replied in unison, "Of course, Revan!"

Revan got in a ship, that was docked in the Hangar Bay.... he took off, and in Hyperspace, a young woman jumped out of the sealed Cargo Hold, with a lightsaber ignited she ran to Revan, unsure of him.

"Yes, can I help you?" Revan asked without looking up from the controls. "Lower your lightsaber, young one, I can help you."

The woman kept her lightsaber activated. "Who are you and what are you doing upon my ship?"

"My name is Revan, I am a Jedi Knight..." Revan replied.

"I can see that..... from the robes you are wearing." She said. "My name is Arren Kae."

"Welcome Arren Kae, I sense you are Force Sensitive too." Revan said, warmingly.

"I am an Exiled Jedi, the Council exiled me, because I was emotionally attached to a man named Yusanis." Arren said.

"Would you and this Yusanis, like to help us? We are neutralizing the Mandalorian threat." Revan said.

"Ahh..... the Mandalorians, my friend Yusanis is part Mandalorian." Arren said.

Revan sensed a man coming down the corridors. "Hello, Yusanis." Revan said.

"Hello... who is this?" Yusanis asked.

"This is Master Jedi, Revan." Arren replied.

"Oh, I'm not a Master yet." Revan chuckled.

"But you are a Jedi, just like I was." Arren replied. "Why don't you go back to bed?"

"Yes," Yusanis replied, leaving the cockpit.

"I sense something about you, something I have not sensed since.... since.... my fall to the Darkside." Arren said.

"What... what... are you talking about..." Revan asked.

"I sense you have fallen to the Darkside." Arren said.

"I have, how did you find that out... I keep it hidden." Revan said.

"I did too, I still do." Arren replied.

Well isn't that a twist? Revan asked himself. A fallen Jedi, preaching to me about the Darkside!

"I do suggest that you take this path, Revan..." Arren started again.

"We will not be to Courscant for a while." Revan said. "Why don't you stay here in the cockpit, I could use some company."

"I would be honored to keep a fellow Dark Jedi company..." Arren said.

Revan set the computer on auto-pilot, and pulled off his mask, revealing his dark appearance.

"Ahhh...... it feels good to have the mask off..." Revan said.

The instant Arren saw Revan, she fell in love with him. The Echani young man, had features that she had never seen before. He sat meditating with her... when she sensed him close his eyes, she opened her's attracted to him and his awsome power. She smiled, Finally I have someone who can actually please me! Arren thought. She stood up and walked over to him... he instantly stood up.

"Is there something you want?" Revan asked.

"I want to know more about you." Arren said, pulling Revan's face close to her's.

Revan, seeing where this was going, and obviously attracted to her as well, locked lips with her. They went to the Star board bedrooms.

"I love you, Arren!" Revan said.

"I love you too, Revan." Arren replied to him. They layed down, and Revan went to sleep.

Kas'!m 12-09-2006 10:43 PM

Yusanis was Echani not Mandalorian. I'm shocked about this Revan/Arren thingy but it's your story. Just a writing tip, provide as much detail as you can. You don't want your readers to be confused.

Anakin Skywalker 12-09-2006 11:17 PM

I never said Yusanis was Mandalorian...... I know he is Echani, but I made Revan Echani too.

:edit:

Apparently I forgot my own fic, I thought it would be more dramatic, if he were to fight his own people, helping the other half of his race, the Echani

CSI 12-10-2006 12:59 AM

Geez...It's a good chapter, too...Eh, Yusanis and Arren Kae? Well, nice twist, I think...And looking forward to more.

Rabish Bini 12-10-2006 02:52 AM

Whoah, 2 chapters in one day, I could never muster that. Anywho, great fic and looking forward to more.

Anakin Skywalker 12-10-2006 11:42 AM

Ok, just in case ya'll are wonderin, I'm stickin with Revan for a reason right now.... but I will soon go back to the battles

Anakin Skywalker 12-10-2006 01:39 PM

Chapter 3

Revan woke up a few hours later. Yusanis was holding a vibrosword at his throat.

"I know that your plotting against the Republic, I see that you're going to assassinate the Echani senator!" Yusanis said.

Revan just stared at him, his clothes were gone, meaning that his lightsaber was too. Revan Force Pushed Yusanis against the wall, knocking him out. He found his clothes under his pillow, so he put them on, and went to the cockpit, where Arren was.

Back with Malak, Valen, and Kreia....

"Prepare to land on Onderon!" Valen said to the others.

"But General Bracus, the Mandalorians aren't on Onderon..." The capitan said.

That's what you think...." Valen said. He could feel a Dark Aura emanating from his own being, and he knew Malak could sense it to. "Just land in Iziz.... I need to speak to Princess Talia and Commander Vaklu, anyway."

"Yes, sir!" The Republic Capitan said. It wasn't long before the gigantic ship landed on the skyramp.... Valen walked down the ramp on his ship...

Commander Vaklu met him.... "Can we help you, Master Jedi?"

"I need to speak to you and Princess Talia, alone!" Valen said.

"Of course Master Jedi." Vaklu said.


Malak was yelling orders left and right above the Ice world of Illum. The Mandalorians had not yet landed on the planet, they saw their oppritunity to stop more Jedi from coming, be destroying their lightsaber source... the crystals.

Kriea was above the planet of Yavin IV figuring the Mandalorians would come back to ravage the world for their primitive wepons. She was correct, the Mandalorian war ships were flowing out of hyperspace, when Kriea's ships fired at them. The Mandalorians were so suprised, that they could react to the attack. Kreia's ships had destroyed every ship that belonged to the Mandalorians... and then she commanded them to jump into hyperspace, she was gonna scout out a planet.... Malachor V.

Revan was finishing up the speech in front of the Senate, then he would get back to the battle grounds. Finally, I'm almost finished! Revan thought.

Kreia went to the surface of Malachor V and used the Force to mask her presence... she ran around the planet, looking for a Mandalorian base. She finally found one on the North side of the planet.

Valen grew tired of the bickering cousins, so he finally shut them up... "The Mandalorians are planning an attack... Vaklu, I'm putting you in charge of an "underground" resistance. Talia, you are now the Queen of Onderon..." Valen started.

"But how am I the Queen, my mom is still ruling..." Talia asked.

"Leave that to me." Valen said leaving and walking to the Palace. "Queen Malinea, your rule is over, hail the new queen of Onderon, Queen Talia!"

"But Talia is just a teenager, she cannot rule the city!" Malinea said.

"That's what you think, but I sense some Force Sensitivity in her, and I will train her, and she can rule on her own... with out YOU!" Valen ignited his lightsaber, and Force Jumped towards the Queen and quickly chopped off her head. Her guards just sat there staring at him... and didn't move, Talia came through the door. "Ahhh.... the young Queen is here...... I will train you in the ways of the Force Talia, I sense great Force Sensitivity within you."

"Nothing would give me greater pleasures than learning the ways of the Je...." Talia said.

"Ahhh..... I am not a Jedi, I am a Dark Jedi, just like your family line, Freedon Nadd... I will train you in the ways of the Darkside!" Valen said, his facial features finally showing his rapid desent into Darkness.

"Of course Master!" Talia said. She pulled out a Lightsaber that she had found in the Palace, hidden underneath one of the tiles in her room. "This was my great grandfather's lightsaber!"

"Yes, I can sense the Darkside flowing through it!" Valen said.

Revan ship pulled out of hyperspace, over the outer rim world of Taris.

Anakin Skywalker 12-10-2006 02:17 PM

Chapter four probably out in a few hours/ minutes..... I'm working on it, cuz I don't have anything else to do.

Nevermind, I'm busy now

CSI 12-10-2006 06:03 PM

What? Wait...Queen Talia is Darksided? What's the heck...

Nicely done, can't say I approve the plot, but it's nicely done.

Rabish Bini 12-11-2006 03:19 AM

Sheesh. 3 chaps in 2 days. How do you do that? Nice chapter by the way. Can't wait 'till the next chapter.

Kas'!m 12-11-2006 05:01 PM

You misspelled emanating.

Edit:
Quote:

Originally Posted by CSI: Nihilus
What? Wait...Queen Talia is Darksided? What's the heck...

Well she is one of Freedon nadd's granddaughters.

I combined your double posts. If you need to add something to a post or edit it in some way, just hit the 'edit this' after the you may: in the lower right of your post, and you'll be able to fix everything right up the way you want. Thanks! --Jae

Anakin Skywalker 12-11-2006 06:12 PM

spoiler:
Exactly, that is why I made her go to the Darkside, she will not join the Republic... until she thinks the Sith have it controlled... then she will make Onderon join the Republic.

CSI 12-11-2006 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kas'!m
Well she is one of Freedon nadd's granddaughters.

How come I don't know this? She's Freedon Nadd's granddaughter?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Gilbert Grissom
Now Cite Your Source.

Still, when will you post on your next chapter?

Kas'!m 12-12-2006 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSI: Nihilus
How come I don't know this? She's Freedon Nadd's granddaughter?

In KOTOR 2 on Onderon during a loading screen, it says the royal bloodline extended from him or something like that, so she's is like his great-great-granddaughter.

Anakin Skywalker 12-13-2006 09:00 AM

Chapter 4

Revan had just set a young Cathar girl free, to make him look like a hero, instead of the villian that he is. He left immediately after he freed her.

Back on Onderon.....

"Yes, good Talia.... you learn quickly.... one final lesson, before I leave...." Valen started.

"I want to go with you!" Talia stopped him.

"Well, since I know that the Mandalorians will be trying to kill you, I suppose you could come with me." Valen started.

"Thank you master." Talia said.

The two left the planet....

"Malak!" Revan said, sneaking up behind his best friend. Malak jumped thirty feet into the air, aided by the Force.

"Revan, I..." Malak started, landing on the ground.

"You what?" Revan looked angry.

"I was waiting for the time to strike the Mandalorians above Illum." Malak answered.

"Strike NOW!" Revan said. I am going down to Illum, to steal the Red crystals growing there!

He jumped into the closest shuttle.... when he reached the planet, there were Jedi in the caves...

Vandar is here? Revan thought to himself. Well this shall be interesting...

Malak ignored Revan's thoughts.... "All ships, prepare to attack the Mandalorians!" Malak yelled over the roar of the fire hitting the ship. He threw a sheild up over the ship with the Force, knowing that even four more hits, and the ship, along with him would be destroyed. Malak ran to the Escape Pods, and jettisoned out of the ship.

Revan saw the escape pod slam into the ground. Malak! Revan thought. What in the name of the Force are you doing here? But Revan got no reply, so he landed and ran to the escape pod, where he found Malak unconscious. He picked up Malak's body and threw it into the shuttle, and then ran to the caves.

"Don't think.... it will come naturally." Vandar was saying to a young boy. "Ahhh...... Revan.... my favorite Knight."

"Master Vandar, since no one in the Order uses red crystals, I was wondering if I could take them, just in case someone lost their lightsaber, or it got destroyed." Revan said to the very old master.

"Yes, Revan, that is a wonderful idea.... that way that you'll be back home in the temple sooner." Vandar said. "But we the Council still do not approve of the War."

"Of course you don't master, I don't either..." Revan said lying... but Master Vandar couldn't sense any deception. "Well Master Vandar, I'd better get those.... who is this?" Revan asked staring at the young man, he could see the destiny written on his soul.

"This is Padawan Skywalker..." Vandar said.

"Does he have a master?" Revan asked.

"No, unfortunately he doesn't, and he is almost thirteen." Vandar replied.

Skywalker looked at Revan and was amazed... If I want anyone to be my master, I want it to be him! He thought.

Revan hid his dark aura... and his facial features, and took off the Mask. "Master Vandar, if I could, I would like to train the young man..."

"I don't know Revan, your off to war..." Vandar said.

"Don't worry master... he will be safe, I will make sure of it!" Revan said.

"Very well... Elon... meet your new Master. Jedi Knight Revan." Vandar said.

"Elon... your first lesson is building your lightsaber.... Master Vandar, you may leave." Revan said.

Vandar left and before anything happened Revan made sure he was gone.

"Alright Elon... I'm not going to train you in the ways of the Jedi, but rather in the ways of the Sith!" Revan said.

"Master, it is your choice, I am but the learner, and you are the Master." Elon said, turning his aura dark.

Diego Varen 12-13-2006 10:51 AM

Good Chapter as always and I'm guessing that Elon is Anakin's ancestor.

CSI 12-13-2006 12:14 PM

Nice chapter as always. Looking forward to more as always.

Anglu 12-13-2006 02:47 PM

Well, that's an interesting fic! Especially becaue I try to write a prequel to KotOR I, too.
But obviously I have too less information about Revan and Malak, I think that's due to that there's no Mac-Version of TSL...

Anakin Skywalker 12-13-2006 03:07 PM

Yes, Pottsie you are correct about Elon being Anakin's ancestor....

Thanks for the comments... I'm just hoping I can actually finish this one, without having writer's block...

Anglu 12-14-2006 03:27 PM

Yeah, writer's block is something really stupid! I know this...

Diego Varen 12-14-2006 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anglu
Yeah, writer's block is something really stupid! I know this...

Agreed.

Kas'!m 12-14-2006 05:20 PM

Forgot to tell you Revan can't be trained by Freedon Nadd because Exar Kun destroyed his spirit.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.