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-   -   Nebraska state senator sues God (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=182439)

Achilles 09-18-2007 01:14 AM

Nebraska state senator sues God
 
Link
Quote:

LINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.
If he doesn't show up for his court appearance, can the judge issue a warrant for his arrest? I also wonder how he would be sworn in for testimony. Hmmm....

Tyrion 09-18-2007 01:41 AM

If we convict him for a death sentence, does that mean Friedrich Nietzsche will roll in his grave faster than Sonic on a Red Bull binge?

Dagobahn Eagle 09-18-2007 11:39 AM

Reminds me of the petition to God to stop him from hurting people in wars and disasters. That didn't work either:(.

Sabretooth 09-18-2007 12:48 PM

Sounds more like a parody of lawsuits to me. Still, it doesn't make sense that you are trying to take legal action against someone who isn't human. If you are, then you are including God as a functional member of the human society, which elicits a mighty WTF from the Almighty.

Jae Onasi 09-18-2007 01:11 PM

Our tax dollars at work yet again. :roleyess:

I can just see the Nebraska state legislature next passing a law saying it's illegal to sue a deity after this.

tk102 09-18-2007 02:43 PM

Hello, Lucifer?
Is this God? Hey what's going on?
I'm getting sued.
Holy ****!
Precisely.
That sucks. How can I help?
Well I need a lawyer...


*ba dum pa*

Thor the Bassis 09-18-2007 04:33 PM

This is a bit crazy. I'm curious how this helps anyone in either this life or the next.

St Peter: "So you sued God. How do you think that helps your chances of getting through these gates?"

Rogue Warrior 09-19-2007 05:07 AM

Only in America.

Mace MacLeod 09-20-2007 06:36 AM

^^^Where this guy was elected. Yes, people apparently voted this nutball into office. Beggars the imagination...

Jae Onasi 09-20-2007 09:51 AM

What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero....

Achilles 09-20-2007 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero....

90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign.

TK-8252 09-20-2007 09:29 PM

I think he's right to sue. God needs to pay up...

Mace MacLeod 09-21-2007 07:02 AM

That's the thing, how would he collect...?

Dagobahn Eagle 09-21-2007 01:55 PM

The 'lawsuit' was meant as a practical example of how frivolous lawsuits in the States have gotten totally out of hand. This is a more than valid point, but it was apparently missed by most people, including the media and, big surprise, the fundamentalist clergy, who recently fabricated a 'reply' from God.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Silly fundamentalist
"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here poof!" Friend said.

How utterly pathetic. Not only does he fail to look up the motive of the Senator, he feels compelled to fill in for his almighty god who's apparently unable to defend himself.

Watch me scribble a magical note from Odin and say it was delivered by two black ravens.

Quote:

[God's] response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.
So God and Jesus could be pedophiles, rapists, homosexuals and flamboyant terrorists and it'd be totally OK to everyone. Right. I love Christian fundamentalists.

Edit: Waitaminute, just 'some' Earthly laws. OK, so they've caught our pedophile argument and now He's only allowed to call giant floods killing all but a handful of humans and crush cities with brimstone. I don't know where they pulled the 'some' part from, but I feel safer already:).

Quote:

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
Yeah, I'm so lucky God included the will to rape and murder and beat other people up in the Free Will package, because without the Will to Rape, a fundamental human right, we'd be mindless zombies without a will of our own. Sure.

Quote:

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
Pathetic.

Quote:

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.
I take it He does not take prayers anymore, then. Where should we send requests for help now, to the Salvation Army? Like, 'God C/O Salvation Army, Houston Chapter, this and that address'? Will be quite a change for the church-goers, sending e-mails instead of getting down on their knees.

Quote:

90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign.
It all too often is.

Jae Onasi 09-22-2007 12:07 AM

Uh, DE, I think the 'reply' was supposed to be a joke. I read somewhere that they thought it might have been one of the lawyers who did it.

Lathain Valtiel 09-25-2007 08:53 PM

Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA.

Jae Onasi 09-26-2007 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathain Valtiel
Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA.

Oh, yeah, I forgot that part of the contract that I signed in blood that said I had to give up humor for Lent. :D

Achilles 10-16-2008 01:08 AM

Update

Quote:

"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote.

Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.

"The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience."

Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."
Checkmate!

Nedak 10-18-2008 07:37 PM

We should have god run for office as well.

HAH

Achilles 10-18-2008 11:55 PM

Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on?

Det. Bart Lasiter 10-20-2008 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Achilles (Post 2540766)
Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on?

Holy Ghost, science textbook.

Achilles 10-20-2008 10:38 AM

Makes sense to me.


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