Hello everyone this is a story about a Jedi that survived Order 66.
Please enjoy and review if possible!
The tale of Jason Bluebender a survivor of Order 66
I am a survivor. I always have been and always will. Once I was one of the most famous Jedi around until those bloody troopers tore the whole order apart. While I am writing this it is approximately 12 years to this day that Order 66 was issued and ever since then my life has turned from one of pride to fear.
What I remember was that the attack on the great home of all of the Jedi Knights ended so quickly. Only the mature knights and masters had enough sense to take arms against the murdering clones. The younglings and small padawan’s all cowered in there quarters hoping that it was all a horrible nightmare until they were all slaughtered like pigs instead of the great protectors they would become if they had matured in the force. Before I continue on with this rant about the slaughter of the Jedi I should probably tell you where I am 12 years after these series of horrible events occurred. At the moment I am on Dantoine, a farmhand for a poor old farmer who doesn’t have enough credits to buy good working droids .I live in a hill, literally just like a hobbit from the old Coruscanti tales. It’s a small house with a living room and a bedroom. Being underground makes me feel warm and comfortable but I do not wish to expand the house for fear of being discovered by the Imperials.
It’s a cold night tonight and the wind carries the cries of the kath hounds. I am going to make this data pad a personal journal of the event preceding Order 66 so in the slightest chance that the Jedi live to fight again they will know exactly what happened to the old order.
I was 25 when it all started. I remembered that I first heard shots at about 9 o’clock local time. Suspicious I followed my ears from my quarters to the jedi archives which were at the time the greatest collection of knowledge in the whole galaxy.
What I saw haunts me to this day. There were dead Jedi everywhere. I saw my good friend Ben Moonson being shot at repeatedly by clone troopers. Years of combat in the outer rim against the droid army kicked in. I activated my blue unique light saber.
It was unique because I had built it so it could shoot a beam of deadly power out of the tip of the blue blade. I had discovered this power from a trip to the planet Egonia to view the local people’s ancient drawings of old Jedi. I found detailed hieroglyphics that explained how to construct a light saber that could shoot out a beam of deadly energy out of the tip.
I had suggested that it should be essential for all Jedi to have this built into their light sabers yet the council was not very combat orientated at the time so they had refused my suggestion but they let me build it into my own weapon. You must remember that at the time I had discovered this new power I was but a padawan being taught by the famous Cin Dralig. At that particular time hardly any jedi even knew about the Trade Federation and its threat so the council thought it would make Jedi seem more like soldiers than protectors. The reason was that I was at the temple in the first place was that the council was going to have a debate on the topic of Jedi weapons and I wanted to be present.
Anyway back to the point I leapt at the clones slicing and cutting my way through these armored menaces. I would have continued if it had not been for Skywalker. A particularly sneaky clone had just snuck up behind Ben and was raising his rifle to shoot my friend. With a cry I leapt into the air just managing to hit the speeding blast of deadly light back into the clones head. Ben turned to me and nodded thanks. Unfortunately that nod would end in his imminent death. Sywalker jumped from one of the upper levels of the library directly in front of my friend Ben. Reacting quickly that traitorous rat bag of a Jedi stabbed Ben directly through the heart. I recall giving a scream of rage and sorrow for the friend that had accompanied me throughout my childhood. I wanted to leap at Sywalker to avenge my friend but I knew that would be suicide because of the tight circle of clones around him that were beginning to form. There were only three Jedi left alive in the library along with me. All of us were pinned down at the doorway attempting to block all of the deadly blasts.
Anyway I knew one of the 3 Jedi left in the library to be Master Tania, a famed Jedi consular that went on several different combat operations throughout the galaxy. She looked at me with her calm blue eyes; her black hair bound in a tight bun not a hair out of place. “Do not let me make a sacrifice in vain.” As quick as a flash she had force pushed me along with the 2 other Jedi out of the door. I imagine she leapt up a floor of the library and activated the temple lockdown protocol by using a nearby computer terminal. This therefore put an impregnable shield around the door we had just been flung through. I began to hear a wailing siren while a couple of Jedi snipers emerged from there nearby training room fully armored obviously halfway through a late night training session.
I have had enough storytelling tonight. These memories pain me and I tire after a hard day planting crops in the fields. Prehaps tomorrow night. For now sleep beckons.
Even though I have requested a review you may still post your own personal review of this fic
It's interesting, but there's a few things -
It should be Coruscanti, not Corucanti. :)
And I wasn't aware there were hobbits in Star Wars?
Try to avoid using 'anyway' to start a sentence. It sounds less like a story and more like a conversation with it starting a sentence like that.
There's a few little grammatical and spelling mistakes that i'm sure you'll pick up if you read it through - there's a few full stops the wrong way round (a space and then the full stop, as opposed to the full stop and then a space).
Remember, proof-read thoroughly when you finish to pick up those little mistakes.
Also, I have an issue with the character mentioning Order 66 by name. I don't think that any Jedi survivors knew what the codenames were, as they were top secret.
Other than that, it looks interesting, and I look forward to seeing the next part. ;)
Interesting. However, there are several periods and commas missing, as well as a few spelling mistakes. A beta reader could probably take care of those problems. Also, I would advise finding a different last name for your character, preferably one that doesn't start with 'Star'. :)
Lastly, are there any hobbits in Star Wars? :xp:
I have this belief that corucant is in fact a evolved version of earth.Thankyou for the comments.I would just like to say that this paticular jedi will learn about order 66 later on in the story.
Thanks for the comments
Pretty much what the others have said regarding spelling and grammar. Employing the beta is good being that it gives a fresh perspective.
Also I mentioned in another fic of yours that you embellish a little more, especially since you are writing in the first person. First person narrative is a difficult tense and you have to make certain adjustments and allowances. I learned that the hard way with Heart of the Guardian.
In first person, it really gives you a chance to give description to things that will come from a personal view. You can describe mundane life of a Jedi or something like that. You are given a bit more freedom but I admit it is a difficult tense to write for. However practice makes perfect or rather practice makes better. Keep working on it and allow yourself to imagine. Describe how the character feels, etc. It will make for a great story.
I will try to be more descriptive........................
Plus what does Beta mean
A beta reader is the same thing as a proofreader. They check your work for clarity, spelling, grammar, things you may have missed on your last look through. There is a beta reader thread in the Resource Center.
Chapter 2 Fight in the Council Chambers
Today the farm was attacked by Kath Hounds. They stormed the crops from the cover of the grassy hills that infested Dantoine .I very nearly had to activate my light saber to deal with the crazed Kath Hounds.I knew if a did it would cost and imperial soldier a grog and all the gossip will be going around. From the peace of my home I knew from the blood red eyes and slobbering mouth that I would have been dead if it was not for a nearby patrolling militia that was handy with a snipe rifle.
I also saw a Star Destroyer pass over my house earlier tonight so I fear I will wake up with a blaster to my head. I fear sleep so tonight’s story will be longer than the last.
I had a nanosecond of silence in respect for Master Tania but yet again I knew her sacrifice would not mean much if I didn’t warn everyone of the impending attack. Quickly I explained to the jedi snipers of the situation. They volunteered to stay behind to slow down Skywalker while I would go to the council chambers to warn the Jedi’s greatest of the impending attack. Just as I saw that sith rat use a charged ball of force to brake through the door I jumped down a level and began to sprint towards the council chamber staircase. I wanted to stay and fight Skywalker with the jedi snipers under the statue of Queen Talia, a deceased queen of Onderon who proved loyal to the jedi during the first jedi purge several thousand years ago. I snapped myself out of thinking of long dead Onderonian queens and began thinking about what was happening now. Quickly I realized
History would be made if I didn’t hurry up.
I remember passing the youngling quarters, screaming orders that their tired young brains could not possibly comprehend. After that I passed the great hall of jedi heroes. I glanced quickly at the huge statue of a hunched figure wearing a vastly magnified cloak and hood. I knew it to be a statue of Revan, a sith dictator turned jedi who purged the galaxy of a sith threat a couple thousand years ago.
With a great effort I used he force to make me run up the vast staircase that lead towards the council Chamber.
I was too late. At the moment I entered through the thin doorway of the chambers Master Tinn a good friend of my master, Cin Dralig, was being attacked by some famed clone assassins. I had studied them from the jedi archives after bumping into one on Tattoine, who was obviously on a mission while I was only there because of repairs for my jedi star fighter after a lengthy dogfight over Cato Nemodia, I was escaping with plans for a droid prototype that could resist the attacks of a light saber.
My war tales are another story but I had discovered that the clone assassins were a group of elite clones tasked to assassinate various separatist leaders, along with the illustrious Count Dooku .They usually wore blue plated phase 2 clone amour, but the one’s attacking Master Tinn were using black cloaks so they the could blend into the shadows of the great temple. They had extendable viroblades attached to their shoulders and were using them against a weakened Master Tinn to great success.
I took one of the four assassins by surprise by shooting a beam of concentrated energy into the back of what looked by the most competent in the group .The experienced assassins reacted quickly. One of them continued to assault Master Tinn while the remaining two began to try to circle me. Following true jedi etiquette I let the clones attack first. They moved as one. I managed to strafe around their first attacks but then I was forced into a world of parries, strikes and one hell of a load of pain. They attacked as one and it was very difficult to avoid their strikes. A slice at the clones head was blocked easily. I swung my saber so fast it looked like a light show from the Theatre of Black Light, which was a theatre on Rycloth which was famous for attracting the rich and influential.
I knew the only way to defeat the scum would be through the force. I jumped backwards and pulled one of the clones towards me. He slid down my light saber with a groan. I threw him off in disgust. The enemy that was attacking Master Tinn fell to a critical strike not from me but from my jedi counterpart. Then I did something I had never expected to do in the whole of my life. I shot a great burst of lightning at the remaining clone. I continued to shoot out electricity until I was certain that he was dead. I turned to Master Tinn, quite pleased because I had just defeated a squad of the most powerful non jedi soldiers in the galaxy. I expected Master Tinn to be looking at me in horror because of the great sith power I had just used but instead he was lying in a heap in the centre of the chamber.
Gasping I quickly gave him one of the medpacs that I carried at all times. They were ancient medpacs filled with Kolto instead of the traditional Bacta. They were like this because I had read that most species in the galaxies were beginning to become resistant to bacta.I busied myself attempting to heal master Tinn but I knew I was clinging to a sinking boat as he had been stabbed directly through the stomach
“Save the younglings,” He said with a gasp.
Those were the last words of the great jedi veteran. He had died directly in the centre of the chamber, which was a place that several jedi had had their hopes shattered and restored. It was a fitting place for such a famed jedi to have died but it was under horrible circumstances.
I remember guiltily scavenging the medpacs, light sabers and credits from the master’s corpse. I then began to run down the huge stairway so I could honor Tinn’s final words. It was hard not to glace at the puddle of purple blood circulating around the chamber.
I will now try to go to the sleep. Tomorrow night I intend to finish with the beginning of the tale so I can try never to think of those horrible events ever again
Hope everyone is enjoying my fic:D:D:D
This is a good continuation, but again, there's some little grammar and spelling errors that have crept in. But that's aside from my other points:
Also, Jedi aren't usually in the habit of calling their enemies 'scum' either.
Other than those two issues, it's pretty good. The homage to Queen Talia was a nice touch, which added a bit of flavour to the description.
Keep it up!
Ill fix up the bad launguage
thx for the advice
p.s this jedi hasn't been a jedi for 12 years so he mmight have slipped ino un jedi habits
OK this was better. There is a minor thing. It is break not brake, unless he was driving a speeder ;)
Your description is getting better and I see you describing quite a bit more. You are taking the time to show us what the character is going through and that is good. Keep going.
I have sent my Fic to Endorrea for proof reading so it might take a while for the next post
That's fine. Post when you're ready :) -JM12
Nothing much happened today. I went to Khoonda and thanked the militia that saved me from the vicious kath hounds. After that, I went onto a deserted plain and began to practice my lightsaber combat. I felt as if my lightsaber had abandoned me. But this is just the life of a farming peasant on Dantooine. I'll continue on with the fall of the Jedi.
As I recall, a squadron of troops was climbing the stairs. By the time I was done with them , every one of their limbs was in pieces. When I got to the bottom of the stairs , I was immediately attacked. I used the Djem So form to deal with the traitorous murderers as I began to fight my way towards the Youngling quarters. I was rapidly tiring. My arms felt heavy as I cut my way through the white-armored troops. I arrived at the younglings’ quarters just as a group of engineers was setting a permacrete detonator onto the blast door that was protecting the children. I dealt with the engineers by force pushing them towards the detonator as it exploded. They were vaporized instantly. I rushed through the gaping hole in the blast door and yelled at the young padawans to quickly get the smallest of their possessionstogether. Ten seconds was all the time I could afford to give them to pack. As my sharp eyes darted over them, I saw that most of the younglings were 12, 13, or 14 at the most .
A fourteen year old boy passed me. I stopped him and asked urgently, “Where are the younger ones?”
The boy replied in a scared whisper, “They snuck off to the J edi Council chambers. I tried to stop them, but anything short of stunning them with a blaster couldn’t turn them! I think they expected the Council to protect them .”
I bowed my head for a moment in grief. The younglings were sure to be dead.
I began to hurry the padawans towards the door while simultaneously checking each bunk room for hiding younglings. I got all of the children out of their quarters, intending to herd them towards the hangar bay, where I would take them aboard my personal ship, [/color]“The Pacifist”. I ’m sure I would have succeeded if not for that traitor Skywalker! A slight hum and a hiss of air were the only thing that warned me of the attack. I dodged away from the strike that would’ve beheaded me if it weren’t for the Force’s powers. I turned and saw Skywalker , his hood pulled low over his eyes . Automatically, I switched to Atari’s aggressive stances. I Force Pushed my opponent down the hall into the padawan’s quarters. My hand flew out, and began to hurl bunks, bedside tables and holobooks at my enemy. For the first 10 seconds of the battle , he was deterred by the ferocity of my attacks. I didn’t have time to notice I was winning before the tide was turned. He leaped at me, attacking with such power I was forced down to my knees! I leapt back up, but not before Skywalker gave me a glancing cut on my left arm. It was a recurring battle after that. He swung left, right, up and down while I blocked and attempted to sneak in an attack. My stamina was plummeting as he forced me down the hall.
When I remember what happened next , I always end up laughing. Anakin had swung a strike so hard at my head that when I blocked it , I was driven to my knees. He used the Force to grab my lightsaber and formed an “X” with my neck in the middle. The traitor then began a speech about how the Jedi were feeble and weak. It was a classic speech . It would’ve fit into a holovid perfectly. I was growing tired of his long-winded oratory, but I decided not to interrupt . After all, one extra minute of life was an extra minute! By now, I knew that nothing could save me and death was imminent. Somehow, I’d accepted that for a fact. My mind wandered as the speech dragged on, and I began to wish that I would die more heroically than it presently seemed I would.
However, I had yet to learn how much can happen in a minute. I saw a human male youngling, possibly four years of age, carrying a Jedi security guard blaster. He snuck out from under a desk. He shook his blonde head and said in a calm, innocent voice, “I don’t like you.” He shot Skywalker directly in the head! The youngling was thrown backwards to the floor. I couldn’t believe it . A 4 year old had just destroyed one of the biggest threats to the galaxy ! You might be thinking it was far too good to be true , and oh, how right you are. While I was leaning against a bunk laughing my head off, Skywalker picked up his light saber and threw it at the youngling.
While deep in thought here in the peace of my home , I wonder what would’ve happened if the blaster hadn’t been set to stun . The poor child’s head rolled to the floor. Anakin got to his feet and glared at me with his yellow, bloodshot eyes as he said in a menacing tone, “You’re next, Jedi!”
I knew it was cowardly, but at that point, I ran. I pushed the child’s corpse into Skywalker , slowing him down just long enough for me to escape . Needless to say , I ran for my life. A minute later, I crashed into the group of padawans I had ‘rescued’, all running down a nearby corridor with their lightsabers activated. We all set out at a brisk run in the direction of the hangar, often encountering the occasional easily dispatchable lone clone trooper….......
What's kohenada? And I think you mean permacrete, not percamete;)
Practicing on a plain seems like a pretty big risk to me: an unobstructed view from all sides, plus a lightsaber which surely would stand out. Why does he have a personal ship? I'm also a bit ambivalent about the design of his lightsaber.
Mmm, there's still quite a lot of mistakes. For example->
In the next paragraph, you abruptly addressed him as Vader. Has he announced his new title?
Jedi reflexes! Skywalker allowing himself to be caught off guard, even with the child's warning?
Even if you haven't managed to get someone to beta read it for you, you could always read, re-read and polish yourself in the meantime (which is what I used to do). Meanwhile, try to rationalize everything that happens. The whole Star Wars universe may be a suspension of disbelief, but we still expect it to work within certain rules. Do keep this in mind, and keep writing!
thanks for the review
I think there would be holovids about the jedi and sith.
Anikin was arrogant and wouldn't expect an attack from a small child
plus a lightsaber can cause a scar as ventress attacked and scarred anikins face with her lightsaber
thx again for the review
Although I did not comment on it, I read your earlier discontinued fic, and it impressed me thoroughly. I am a little disappointed at seeing it discontinued, but this new fic is thankfully very good as well. I'm having a hard time deciding which one is better!
The number one thing I must comment on is that the story is very engrossing and flows beautifully. I love the settings and descriptions you provide in the fic, and the how the story unfurls as a story told by a Jedi in hiding. The approach is very welcoming and of course, readable.
The action is heated and original at the same time. I like how there's always something intriguing to look forward to, and was often surprised by the different ideas you invented in this; such a lightsaber that fires an energy beam, or a Jedi not using his lightsaber against kath hounds, or a padawan coming close to making history. All of these instances are spectacular and make the fic studded with innovation.
I also like the realistic light in which you depict the story, often referencing other characters and media, or the protagonist facing moral dilemmas, as opposed to being the usual all-powerful, all-good Jedi.
There is also a great balance between all-out action and reminiscence, thought or other slow parts. They fit in well with the frenetic pace of writing.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic like the earlier one, and would encourage you to write more, because I'm sure as hell going to follow this. :D (Although I'd say I liked your first two chapters more than the latest one, but only a little bit).
As far as grammar and such, I'll say that breaking up some walls of text into smaller paragraphs will be good. Reading on the computer screen is a bit different from reading from a book, you know. And then there's us Generation Y with our sucky attention span. :D
Anyways, thanks and it's awesome.
Ooh, sorry, I'm not familiar with EU. Thanks for telling :) That's true, Anakin's just rather full of himself:/ Poor kid though :(
^^ Sabre's review is good. I must try to be like that more! Hope my nitpicking didn't bother you :(
A quick and deadly skirmish
Today I worked in the east fields. My hands are sore and aching but I have set up the data pad so it writes what I speak. Enjoy!
We continued on and on and on. Everyone in the group was exhausted, wanting to call for rest but resisting in a show of jedi-like valor. I took out surprised clones by shooting blue light at the general direction of their heads. Everything was going fine until “IT” happened. The things I am about to say I have played through my mind thousands of times trying to discover what I could possibly have done to save the young Jedi. It all happened in a flash. We had reached the corridor. I sneakily glanced through a small door way that led to the main hangar section. I noticed a group of unsuspecting clone engineers, who were attaching explosive to all the jedi craft. Luckily my ship the “Pacifist” was obviously being kept in one piece so the bantha fodder enemies could loot the collection of weapons and jedi artifacts I had recovered before the outbreak of the war.
I hastily did the unique jedi sign language in the direction of the battle ready Jedi. It was said in the archives that the language was used before modern technology destroyed the need to use it. Luckily all jedi were taught the language so they could silently communicate while holding negotiations or mapping out a plan silently. I could see that some of the young ones were looking at me in confusion. They were obviously not fluent.
I snuck through the small doorway. I was hoping the clones would be so immersed in there sabotage that I could silently take them out with the combat knives that I always wore in a sheath at my hip. As usual no such luck.
One of the men glanced up seeing me while I was hideously exposed in the hangar filled only with a couple of crates to use as cover.
This particular clone was a quick one and said
He didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence as I had pulled him towards my freshly activated light saber, but I imagine the sentence wouldn’t have ended in “Dearie me,’
I might have been able to contain the situation if the young jedi hadn’t decided to make their appearance at that moment. One of the eldest, who I think was a green twilek male cried
“Death to the clones!”
They charged through the doorway as stupidly noisy as possible, blocking the occasional shot the engineers managed to sneak out before they were killed by the young Jedi.
There was one boy who had sense enough not to fight the clones but to use the force to dash into the cover of my ship. Unfortunately most of the jedi were in battle frenzy. This was brought on by one of the youngest in the group being killed in the quick skirmish. I began to call them towards my ship while I simultaneously covered all the exits. Alas I didn’t cover the huge hole in the wall that the ships went through to enter Corucant’s airspace.
In a flash of light a clone gunship appeared and fired missiles directly at all of us jedi in the hangar. I imagine one of the clones must have called up the cavalry before they were killed.
Those that survived the missiles by leaping away were then mowed down by the beam of energy that was generated from the gun turret attachment. I survived by hiding behind a stack of crates, praying to the force that a missile wouldn’t separate my head from my body. I foolishly believed that the gunship would simply float away. Once again I was wrong. Obviously the pilot was one of the Fett brand so he had the proficiency to activate the infra-red camera. I sensed through the force what would happen long before the trigger was pulled. It seemed the pilot had run out of missile ammo as instead he ordered the marksman at the turret to fire.
A beam of green light missed me by a whisker.
I then did what had happened in many a holovid. Using a great burst of strength I leapt up in to the gunship and accordingly began to slaughter every one aboard. I knew technically I should have given the unarmed pilot a chance to live but the clones had proved in their vicious attacks they were no better than their droid counterparts.
I was gifted with a massive clone gunship. I used it with brains rather than brawn or rather a mixture of the two. I hacked into the com computer and stored the information into a fresh data pad so I could find out exactly exactly what the clones had been up too. I jumped out of the gunship back into the hangar.
I then saw an opportunity and took it. I pushed the massive floating monstrosity with the force towards a patrolling clone transport. There was a gratifying crunch and an explosion.
I glanced briefly towards the poor young souls that lied dead against the cold metallic floor of the hangar. Most of them were just ash or horribly burnt and disfigured bodies. I was supposed to have saved them. I thought darkly that the clones might have shown mercy if I had left them in their quarters. I knew they would have been killed whatever I had done with them but I was still depressed.
The taste of victory had escaped and was replaced by a grim determination to rid the galaxy of the clone menace. I sprinted up the loading ramp of the ship and began to prime the engines in the cockpit. I took off quickly before another gunship turned up. I knew it wasn’t over yet………………………
Next chapter on the way tomorrow
thankyou all for ur reviews
Your critisizm is a great help.
keep it up
I think a holomovie would be a great oppertunity for a fic
Thanks for the posotive review sabre
I' might continue on with my old fic when i finish this one.It would also be great if someone told me how to put a link the the fic on my sig so more people get to read!
well here it is
At first I thought I was home free. I considered staying on planet and finding some sort of safe house. I knew just the place. Just the week before the attack on the jedi I had busted a criminal gang that was selling a highly illegal load of weapons called the “Ark Caster” which was a weapon that shot electricity which could chain through a group of enemies. The criminal gang’s hideout was on one of the lowest levels of Corucant and it would be unlikely that the clones would venture to a place that was ridden with gangs that didn’t like the law. I shook the notion from my head believing I could head to some random planet and take shelter so this situation would blow itself over.
I was flying at a very, very large amount of speed. I only did not crash into a speeder carrying the nightlife because of my jedi reflexes.
My ship is a 2C11 luxury freighter package with turbo laser attachments. I had come into possession of the ship on a mission to Alderan where I saved an influential shipbuilder, building combat ships for the republic from being assassinated by the separatist threat. The shipbuilder was walking down the street towards the republic embassy to a conference with the military when the assassin struck. It was a simple assassin droid that fired the shot which I blocked easily.
That is another tale but I had grudgingly accepted the offer for the ship. Since then I had made many attachments. Most of them were booster attachments which made it one of the fastest ships in the galaxy second only to the Millennium Falcon which was currently owned by a rich Twilek senator. The Pacifist included a shower, a computer and a bunk room along with several other appliances. Needless to say I was very proud of my ship.
A blast and a rocking ship woke me from my fantasizing. I checked the backwards camera and discovered I was in pursuit, being followed by and Arc 100 republic star fighter which is the predecessor to the x wing. The class of star fighter chasing me was famous for its use by the 502nd clone pilot regiment. That regiment was famous for engaging the late General Grievous in a dogfight.
I cursed. The “Pacifist” was supposed to man by two people. One to drive and one to man the blaster cannon. There was a shot and an explosion. At first I thought I had been hit but my shields were still at maximum power. With a shock I realized someone was firing at my pursuers via the blaster cannon located on the top of my ship. It was strange and dangerous since it was such a populated area. Activating the cameras, my heart leapt to see that one of the younglings were alive and well while firing the cannon. A quick glance at the young jedi revealed he was a human male, about 12 years old .He had dark sort of skin and a tan from going on many field trips with master Yoda. He also had black hair and deep blue piercing eyes that shine like the sea. (Not Corucant's sea, as it is dark and polluted).However there was something quite strange about him. He had two blue leku attached to his head. I realized that he must be a cross breed between a human and a blue twilek from Rycloth.
I did a nosedive to stop a blast hitting the hyper drive exhaust. I couldn’t believe that the clones were firing in such a populated area. Although it was early morning all the nightlife and drunks were going back to their homes. Or their hover benches at the park. The chase continued. We entered the red light sector, which was famous for its nightclubs. I nearly crashed into the famous Eiffel tower. It was an ancient monument that had been built as a shrine by the natives of Corucant long, long ago.
I realized that if I didn’t get off Corucant’s streets some innocent citizen would be killed. Gently I began to ease the ship upwards. Dodging the speeders and ships was hard work and I was only running on the forces energy along with adrenaline. I took an energy stimulant out of storage container above the cockpit and slapped it on. When this was over I was going to have a huge coffee as I recall I had just brought some of the best beans from a market in the city. The beans were from the famed chocolate making sector of Coco.
I remember dodging several large skyscrapers and buses. A blast was fired and one of my pursuers was blasted to smithereens. In the confusion the other enemy burst into flame.
I left the atmosphere with a shudder and immediately went into hyperspace punching a random planets coordinates. I began heading towards……………..tomorrow.
Helo I would like to thank Anurilliblade for proofing this chap.
Plz comment if you read as it greatly helps my motivation to write the next chapter
Well here it is
Joined in a local marathon up Mount Dante today. I could have won but I didn’t want to attract attention to myself, so instead I ended the race at a close second. It is good to get to know the peaceful farmers and workers here on Dantooine.
The next post in my journal is hardly worth documenting. I will however include it.
Day 2, Day3, Day 4 and Day 5
We were safely in hyperspace. I vaguely recall congratulating the youngling who had shot down our pursuers. He was very thankful for my saving him. [(I could see that even though he had a seen many terrors that night he was still trying to suck me in, in a jedi like way. However, while he spoke very formally and politely with his mouth, I did notice his lekku…
You see the Twi’lek have a unique language in which part of communication is carried out by small twitches of the lekku. I happened to notice that with his lekku he was calling me names which I will not repeat and using language quite unbecoming a Jedi.
“I’m fluent with your lekku language, young--,”
“My name is Andrewsi Tanosa Pano, or just Andrew for short, Master Bluebender,” he said in a high voice. His voice had obviously not cracked yet.
I immediately noticed that his lekku had stopped swearing and were now lying down resignedly, though occasionally flaring up for the odd swear word.
I think both of us were in shock at that time. We just chatted about life within the Jedi order. I discovered the details of Andrew’s life. He was like many of the other Jedi younglings. Apparently he was brought up on Coruscant, the son of a poor Twi’lek clerk who could not afford to keep him. I also learnt he was 14. There was no talk of any plan or anything at all except for just idle chatting about life. Eventually my young accomplice fell asleep while he was lying down on the hover couch. I got a thermal blanket out of my emergency supplies pack and covered the tired young man with it.
That night was the start of a very bad habit that I am to this day trying to get rid off. I passed a storage container on the way to my bunk. The storage container contained a bottle of very expensive Tarisian ale. I usually drank it after a successful mission or if I had a disagreement with a fellow Jedi colleague. But that night I made my mistake. I took a swig directly from the bottle. I quickly found that it eased the pain and dark thoughts that were infesting my mind.
I woke up with the traditional killer Tarisian hangover. As I attempted to rise, I spied two empty bottles on the floor next to my bunk. I gingerly lowered myself back down, just thankful I still knew which way was up. Two bottles was usually enough to power a large party or a small tank for the better part of the night. That morning was probably the only time I was sober for many days. I checked out the com data I had hacked from the clone gunship. There was quite a bit of chatter over something called “Order 66”. A helpfully forgetful clone had queried about the order. An exasperated clone commander had then described the order in great detail. Before that day I had had an unwavering support of Chancellor Palpatine. The magnitude of his treachery hit me like a burning blade, and I knew I could never truly trust anyone again. Ever since then I have referred to the fall of the Jedi as “The Order,” feebly attempting through blandness to block out the painful memory.
The next few days passed in a drunken haze. About 4 days after the attack we began to get the hyperspace sickness called Scurvy. We had spent more than the specified three day limits set by the Interplanetary Health Foundation in hyperspace. So, after quite a bit of retching I set the nav computer towards the nearest planet: Tatooine.
We landed in Anchorhead, a bustling town filled with all sorts of different beings. There were bounty hunters, robbers, con men, moisture farmers or just spacers looking for a drink. Such a place would hardly be affected by the fall of the Jedi. As Andrew and I walked down the cargo ramp, we were hit by the searing, inhospitable faces of the twin suns. We were then hit by a much more inhospitable local.
It was a Toydarian. He was much like the rest of his species, leathery looking skin, a big belly and a plethora of other unpleasant features. I have had a personal vendetta against the Toydarians since one of them captured and severely beat Master Drallig and I before carting us off to be turned into slaves while we were on a peacekeeping mission to Ryloth. The circumstances, however, did put us into an advantageous position relative to our mission. We were being circulated through the very smuggling ring we were sent to break up! But I’m wandering from the subject. Suffice it to say that our mission was a success. Where was I? Oh, yes, our inhospitable—and might I say rather pungent—friend.
“You land here you pay me 200 credits or you get in trouble with Jabba,” he said in a rasping, oily voice.
I had no patience at all with the thug and simply called upon the Force to fix the situation for me.
“You will leave here and go get yourself a life,” I replied with a wave of my hand.
“I will leave here and go get myself a life,” the poor Toydarian replied in a cold, unemotional voice.
I think it would have been more Jedi-like to have paid, but I was very annoyed and, as I recall, I was only just recovering from yet another Tarisian hangover. I walked along, signaling my shocked young accomplice to follow with a wave of my hand. Basically we walked around just getting fresh, un-reprocessed air into our lungs. We had also brought some military supplies as it was market day. I turned a corner and guess who I saw—Obi-Wan Kenobi. I caught a quick glance at his face. He looked about 20 years older than when I had last seen him while fighting with him in the siege of Jabim, in the Clone Wars. I tore after him. I was on the verge of using the Force to catch him, but I knew every bounty hunter on Tatooine would be on to me if I did. He ducked down a deserted alleyway. I followed, only to find a dead end and no Kenobi. I sent out a quick probe into nearby people’s minds. Nothing. I was either hallucinating or Kenobi didn't want to be found by anyone. Personally I didn’t blame him.
I was panting heavily from running in the heat. My young charge and I settled down in a bar. It was no place for a child like Andrew but I didn’t have the heart to send him off. I ordered myself an eye blaster drink and Andrew a glass of foul-looking water. Andrew and I chatted while we downed our beverages. Talking was the only thing I could do-- except for being drunk-- that kept my mind off of the bad thoughts. We sat there for around about 15 minutes standard time until the fight broke out. There was a Bith band playing an out-of-tune song which we were listening to. The patrons were staring at me for bringing someone as young as Andrew to such a shady sort of bar. A rough-looking Rodian entered the cantina and immediately pointed his guns at human female about 29 years old sitting next to me at the tap.
In bad Basic the Rodian said threateningly, “You don’t pay Jabba’s debt. You give credits now or come with me. Dead or alive.”
The woman was terrified. “Please, I don’t have enough credits! Take 50 and I’ll win the rest in swoop bets tomorrow! Please!”
“That’s not good enough .Get ready to die!”
I probably could have negotiated with the thug but I wasn’t in the mood. Instead I stepped into the line of fire and punched him in the nose. The Rodian fell onto a Squib having a drink, and before I knew it I was in the middle of a bar fight. The band immediately struck up a merry tune. It was just what I needed. Putting a few bounty hunters in a bar and giving them a friendly punch was the perfect thing to do to release my pent-up angers and frustrations. In the end Andrew and I enjoyed the brawl thoroughly but were trained too well by the Jedi to say so. We stayed in the bar for around about another 10 minutes before we were kicked out by a burly bouncer with a stun stick.
We began to head back towards the Pacifist. There was one slight dilemma which came in the form of a group of thugs complaining about not getting the crime lord Jabba’s landing money. A wave of my hand and a subtle mind-trick took care of the situation, though I was beginning to feel a bit guilty about using the Force to my advantage so frequently. I primed the engines quickly. The bar fight had cleared my mind. The Force had spoken to me and it said to head to the old Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. It was a place where many Jedi had joined forces in times of danger. Andrew and I both settled into a healing trance to fix up the bruises we had received in the bar. Everything was fine........ or so I thought........
I like the idea of him turning to alcohol to ease his misery.
There's still some mistakes, but Andurilblade seems to have helped tremendously. The last chapter doesn't really have the urgency of the earlier chapters, but I suppose they could use a break after all that has happened. Also, when using ellipses, three periods "..." suffice :) Your wiritng does have a lot of potential--just keep practicing and rereading everything to pick out any errors and improve the flow. I'm looking forward seeing what trouble they'll get into next!
The next chapter will be a bit more action packed.
thx for the coments bee
next chap is coming soon
In the end we never made to Dantooine. It was one of those times where the journey was far more important than the destination. It was a day after our little fight in the cantina. Our bruises were healed and we were in high spirits. It was as if a great weight had lifted from our shoulders. Personally I thought that it was that the constant ripple caused by dying Jedi had been replaced by the occasional dull thud. Andrew just thought it was because we were alive, but I knew better.
But enough of my ramblings. Through the will of the Force, a will I had already seen enough of for one lifetime, we were thrown into battle once again.
We were both asleep when they attacked. There was an explosion that threw us out of our bunks. In the usual show of Jedi reflexes and reaction time we both rushed towards the cockpit out of our separate bunkrooms.
A quick diagnostic of the shipboard maintenance computer revealed all we needed to know. A space mine had hit our hyperspace generator. We still had control of the ship, but we couldn’t jump into hyperspace. A quick glance out the window revealed a Corrillian Corvette lingering off our port bow. Pirates. Pirates with their cowardly tactics. Crippling a ship with a gravitic mine before sauntering up and taking what they wanted. But I wasn’t ready to give up so easily.
“Bloody pirates,” I remember growling.
This particular group of scum was obviously experienced. The moment we recovered our pitch they locked onto us with a strong tractor beam. I knew that if they discovered we were Jedi and captured us we would probably end up as Palpatine’s breakfast. I ground my teeth at the thought of Andrew in that madman’s clutches as I deployed a hidden torpedo turret and fired at their tractor beam generators. Resistance, however, was futile. Their shields were too strong. We were slowly but surely being pulled towards a hangar bay on the blockade runner. We landed with a soft thud inside. I knew what they would do first, but for some reason I was slow to react. I should have told Andrew to hide and myself leapt from the escape hatch, lightsaber blazing. But no; while I sat idle, they attached a concussion bomb to our hull and detonated it. Our ears exploded, and we fell into enveloping darkness.
When we awoke we were in force cages. That’s no new experience for me but poor Andrew did not handle it well. He was a nervous wreck, lekku twitching gibberish and often bumping into the force field. I knew I would have to use my limited medical training to tend to multiple burns.
We were both in the same room, though in separate cages. We were in a cluster of imprisoned individuals positioned at one end of the room. Our captors, a Rodian and a Trandoshan, were at the other end, talking softly between themselves.
Normally a person in my situation would have simply given himself up to the will of his captors of the will of the Force or somesuch nonsense. I, for one, had had enough of both and was determined to get both myself and my charge safely away. Using Force-sharpened hearing I listened to the pirates’ conversation.
“A Jedi! We sell him to the new Empire and the whole crew buy their own planet!” exclaimed the Rodian animatedly.
“Not to Palpatine, he is too much of a backstabber. We sell him to the Black Sun and all retire to the crew’s personal system!” came the hissing reply.
If it had been a week earlier I would have stayed, gone into the criminal ring and destroyed it from the inside. But I was unwilling to risk Andrew’s life. They already knew I was a Jedi; I would have to work fast. I called the Rodian over and used a slight mind trick on him.
“Wait! Don’t talk to the Jedi! They can crawl into your head and make you go mad!” cried the Trandoshan in its language.
The Rodian quickly backed away. I couldn’t get a full lock on him; just enough to daze him for a minute. As he stood near me I saw that the key card to the force cage was in the Rodian’s back pocket.. Getting the card from him would make plenty of noise, however, and I didn’t want to alert the rest of the crew. I tried to use the Force to deactivate the cage from a com terminal near the two thugs, but it was voice locked and security coded. I had to smile as an alternate plan came to me.
I remembered a holovid I had seen as a child where a Jedi had used the Force to fake his own death to escape from his captors.(Master Yoda had made us watch and look at all the wrong things the Jedi did in the movie) I had seen it as a stupid idea thought up by a random write in the bowels of Coruscant, but under these circumstances, I decided to give it a go. I clutched my chest and fell to my knees, breathing hard and using the Force to make my heart beat incredibly fast. A cry from Andrew alerted our unpleasant friends as to what was happening, and the medical monitor attached to the force cage began beeping urgently.
“No! If he is dead we only get half of price for him!”
My plan was working perfectly. They deactivated the force cage. Immediately I leapt up.
I pushed the surprised Rodain into a wall. There was a crack and the poor Rodian slid to the floor. The Trandoshan, however, reacted very quickly. He drew a nasty-looking curved dagger from its sheath and threw it at me. I attempted to duck but the dagger managed to nick my arm. It clanged with a shower of sparks against the wall. Using the Force I pulled the unconscious Rodian’s blaster from its holster. I was about to fire it in the general direction of the Trandoshan’s head when I suddenly had an unbearably urgent need to lie down. I stood there not having enough energy to pull the trigger as my fingers felt like lead.
“Ha, stupid Jedi, not even you can defeat me. I dipped that dagger with a tranquilizing poison called Crashik. Now you will be completely helpless!” The slimy hiss was maddening.
Normally anyone, even a Jedi, would be doomed. I, however, am special case, being a crossbreed between a human father and an Abita mother. I retain almost all of my father’s characteristics, but only one of my mother’s; the ability to process, absorb, and counteract poisons.
So my defensive bodily systems quickly dealt with the poison. My strength was renewed, and I pulled the trigger. Thank the Force there was a silencer attached or I would have been barraged with bounty hunters.
I briefly considered freeing the other prisoners, but a quick probe into their minds told me they were murders, thieves, and other scum the galaxy would thank me for not releasing back into its ranks.
Using the keycard from the back pocket of the unconscious Rodian I freed Andrew from his force cage. The other prisoners began to shout for us to free them, making immediate escape imperative. We both took ugly blaster rifles out of sheaths on the pirates’ bodies. Both were average TC-14 blaster rifles, but they had horrible-looking bayonets attached to them.
With grim smiles we set off, determined to escape with our pride intact…
Great story man
There are still some typos here and there, but it's definitely improving! I like how he considered various methods of escaping, and how Andrew was burning himself because he was all nervous and jumpy was a nice touch! It'll be interesting to see them fight through to their ship, so keep it up!
Next chap is on the way possibly tommorow or day after
Now in most holomovies the light sabers are in a locker room adjacent to the cells. Not so, however, in reality. Our dispatched friends’ blasters would have to suffice until we found our weapons. I remember thoroughly missing my light saber during the whole affair. Once we were out of the cells we came to a long corridor. The white walls were lined with blast doors. Any one of them could contain our light sabers—or horrible deaths. We walked on stealthily while attempting to pick up messages that the Force was sending us.
Andrew, out of the blue collapsed behind me.I rushed over to him when I heard the thunk.
He began to sob as I kneeled over him
"It's not fair... everything used to be so perfect ...but now everyones dead!
He then completly broke, down sobbing incoprehensible words.
"Don't worry we still have each other"
I realised it was a foolish statement. I hadn't exactly been the best of rolemodels after that attack on the temple. Sinking into alcaholism,starting random bar fights and openly enjoying combat,(a very un-Jedi trait) couldn't really help a distressed young man. All my training was slowly slipping away. After a minute or two Andrew pulled himself together and began sneaking down the corridor without a word.I began to follow.
Our savior came in the form of a computer terminal. A quick glance at it showed me that only a skilled computer slicer would be able to hack into it. Luckily yours truly fit the bill. It would have been perfect were it not for a small ‘technicality.’ I had foolishly rushed up to the terminal, and in my haste I had alerted a muscular green Twi’lek of our little escape attempt. We took cover around a corner just as a blaring siren sounded the alarm throughout the ship.
The Twi’lek threw a frag grenade at us. Andrew reacted quite quickly for someone his age as he Force pushed the grenade back at the pirate. It went off as it hit the ground at his feet. I gave Andrew a nod of approval as the sound of pursuit reached our ears.Then I noticed there was a bit of Twilek brain on my boot.
Leaving no time to recover, I dashed to the com terminal and plugged the Rodian’s cell card into it. There was a hum, and quickly I had access to all of the ships system. I pulled out some security spikes from a secret compartment in my boot. In the short time I had at the computer I downloaded the ships schematics, set off several power conduits. Most importantly, I shut down all tractor beams. I remember reminding myself to get some more security spikes when I escaped.
I was forced to stop sabotaging the vessel when a group of pirates reached us. I decided it would be foolish to continue when several beams of light singed my hair. I dove away. We ran down the hallway, the group of bounty hunters continuing to pour death in our direction. Apparently they were more concerned with the security of their ship than a larger bounty on two live Jedi. (Where’s avarice when you need it?) Simultaneously Andrew and I used the Force to assist us in our running. We began weaving through corridors.
We were safe for the moment, but we needed our lightsabers before we could even think of escape. After a few minutes we stopped at a corner to catch our breath. Andrew was tiring rapidly. His mental and physical health had been strained to the limit during the attack on the temple, and he was not handling this well. I pulled out my data pad and had a quick glance at the ship's schematics I had gotten from the com terminal. They revealed that the armory was through a blast door left of the corridor where we where standing. We went left. Just) We landed with a thud in the armory. Quickly I used the Force to shut the blast doors. They would hold the bounty hunters for a short period of time.
I looked around for the lightsabers. I was distracted, however, by a cry of pain. Andrew’s face was scrunched up like a kinrath pup, and he was clutching his shoulder. There was a severe burn there from a blaster bolt. I got some medpacs from the other hidden compartment in my boot and slapped them on the wound. Andrew passed out from shock or pain. There was also another problem. The bounty hunters had decided that explosives would work on the armory door. I used the Force to levitate Andrew on to an out-of-the-way bench. There was an earsplitting explosion, and they launched a smoke grenade through the gaping hole. I rolled away, drew in a breath, and held it with the assistance of the Force. When I regained my feet a new door opened to me. I saw our lightsabers on a workbench. I was surprised I had not seen them before. My opponents had just discovered that smoking me out would not work when, through the smoke, they saw my blue blade.
Comically one of the pirates whispered pathetically, “I want my mummy.”
Without further whimpering the pirates opened fire. Luckily the smoke blinded them so their aim went amiss. I leapt out of the armory and into the fray. Each strike took a life. At the time I had denied it, but I found it exhilarating to shear my blade through my enemies’ bodies like a hot knife through butter. I had underestimated my opponents, however. They where quite a sizable force, spread throughout the corridor into which I had just leapt. I decided to use defensive tactics. I used Force stasis in my opponents. Most of them froze, but some of the more headstrong resisted. I began to leap around the hall, propelling myself off the corridor walls. At first I held back, intending to let them surrender when they realized I could not be beaten. Then one of them managed to get a stun stick passed my defenses. It struck my right shoulder, and 550 volts charged through my system. Only the Force kept my heart from short-circuiting. A few strikes later all my opponents where dead or dying. All except one.
It was a Trandoshan with horrible, gleaming red eyes and leathery skin.
He stalked up to me, brandishing his double-bladed vibrosword.
He hissed liquidly,
“I am the best swordsman from here to Coruscant, and not even you, a Jedi, could possibly beat me!” He spat out the last words in contempt.
At that point I want punch his face in. ( He began the assault. For a pirate, he was actually quite a skilled swordsman. The battle between us lasted about a minute. At first I circled him, searching for a weak point. A series of probing strikes revealed that he was aggressive, using flurries as his main attack pattern.
I leapt at him. I and my saber where one. I furiously struck left, right, up and down. I saw an opportunity and took it. I performed a critical strike which ended up cutting both his feet off. He fell to his knees.
“Who is the best now?” I asked mockingly.
He looked pathetically up at me.
“Stay and fight Jedi; I’ll bite you to death!”
The Transhodan’s eyes rolled back and the thug fell in unconsciousness at my feet.
Now that we had recovered our lightsabers—and had put a sizable dent in the pirates’ population— I set my mind to escaping the ship. The only problem was that I had to do it with an unconscious, heavy young Jedi slung across my back. I picked him up and set off as quietly as I could allow. My destination was the hangar. I was hoping to escape, report the pirates to the system authorities and be done with it. My movement was heavily restricted by Andrew, so I could not use Force run to get to the hangar. It was laborious work, but thankfully I didn’t encounter another bloodthirsty group of villainous pirates.
Eventually I reached the hangar. Causing havoc via the computer terminal had obviously limited the pirates’ knowledge of my whereabouts. I reached the hangar. The blast doors leading to the hangar were wide open, and there were no guards in the immediate vicinity. A glance through the hangar doors revealed there was only one person in there, a Bith using a fusion cutter to fix up a snub fighter. Perfect. I walked up to the Bith. He turned, surprised.
“You didn’t see me,” I whispered to him as I waved my hand.
“I didn’t see you,” intoned the Bith in a cold voice.
I found the Pacifist and boarded her. Quickly I primed the engines and prepared for a jump to hyperspace. But I had made what could well have been a fatal mistake. Ah, Yoda had always warned us that connection was the path to destruction! I should have taken off in another freighter, but I was—attached—to my ship. I felt privileged to own her, and I would not give her up to a group of bloody pirates. I took off. Shining bright stars beckoned to me as I set to autopilot and rushed into the engine room. The hyperdrive generator was still damaged beyond repair. The pirates hadn’t got around to replacing it. The nearest planet was Naboo. The people there were known for being friendly to Jedi in need. I turned off the autopilot and began to increase my speed towards the planet. Just as I was thinking I was home free, the pirates’ turrets opened fire. I weaved up and down, attempting to avoid the blasts, but it was impossible. The Pacifist’s shields began to crackle as they vainly attempted to protect us. I checked the computer for odds of survival.
A +.3 chance of survival didn’t really cheer me up.
Our main boosters were hit. I lost control, and the Pacifist began to spin wildly. Luckily, we were quite close to Naboo. Gravity’s slight tug turned into a heave, and soon we where hurtling towards the planet. The pirates stopped firing, probably thinking it would be foolish to fire on a planet that had experience in battle and space combat.
Vainly I attempted to get us into position to make a half decent landing. It wasn’t working at all. We plunged headfirst towards the surface. I could see flashes of green as the ground passed the viewport with each roll of the ship. I abandoned wrestling with the controls to strap Andrew into a seat. I discovered he was awake and cognizant enough to strap himself in. He was still attempting to stem the blood trickling from the blaster wound in his shoulder. I returned to wrestling with the controls, but I was too late. I strapped myself in, bracing myself for the collision and concentrating on survival.
We hit the ground—hard.
There was a scream. I didn’t know if it was mine or Andrew’s. I didn’t care.
The memories are hazy, but something hit my head, and I sank into beautiful, all-encompassing blackness…
thanks for that.I didn't notice
Here it is:D:D:D.
hope you enjoy it
At first I was barely aware of distant voices, hushed as if uttered in a whisper. Blackness surrounded me. By degrees the haze was lifted, as if it were made of many veils covering my face. It was beautiful, the smoky swirl; I imagined I was looking into the heart of the Force itself. But suddenly I remembered what had happened. I sprang up, Andrew’s name blurting from my throat. At least I tried to spring up. I was restrained by bandages around my wrist and ankles. My head swam at the sudden movement, and for a moment I thought I was going to pass out, but a moment of concentration and controlled breathing brought me back to my senses. Slowly I raised my head and glanced around the room I was in. By the look of things I was in some sort of medical facility. I was lying down on an uncomfortable military bed.
I awaited my rescuer… or my doom. The door to the facility opened, and there stood— Andrew.
He looked down at me and ran up to the bed, babbling a torrent of words.
“Master Bluebender…You’re alive! I was so worried…Steel …Naboo, I’ll go get them!”
Andrew then proceeded to rush out the door.
I snuggled under the blankets, hoping for the best. If I were being held by my enemies I would most likely already be dead, and Andrew would certainly not be so enthusiastic.
I must have drifted off again, because next thing I knew a figure was bending over me. I blinked, blinded by the bright, lifeless lights. The image cleared and I saw—Steel!
You see Steel and I have been friends since both of us were children, playing hide-and-seek through the vast temple of the Jedi. When we grew older, Steel, the late Ben Moonson, Rebecca Rainbringer, and I would watch over the younglings as they went about their activities. Unfortunately Rebecca Rainbringer fell to General Grievous in the battle of Tour Argon at the beginning of the war.Also as you know Ben fell at Skywalkers hand in the temple.
Back in the present, I was pulled out of my bed by an over-enthusiastic Steel. He then began to chatter about how he had survived the attack. I was dizzy and disoriented but listened with half an ear.
Before I explain his story I should probably explain how he earned his nickname. During a battle against the Seps on the planet Bulgarian he crashed his Jedi starfighter onto hard rock. Amazingly, he survived the ordeal, but at the cost of his legs. He had settled into a Force-aided coma, and when they found him he had his missing limbs replaced by cybernetic ones.
Steel began his tale with his usual gusto and bravado.
“Well, when it all started I was on Mygeeto with Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. You see, I wanted to start a little test. I decided to live the life of a clone for a week and see what it felt like. I felt I could understand my men better seeing life as they saw it. I didn’t tell anyone; I took a set of armor from a trooper who had drowned and staggered into camp with the others at the end of a battle. We had just begun an assault on one of the capital cities of the planet. I was near Master Mundi in the front line of the assault. We were on a narrow bridge that led to the main gates of the city. It was covered in battle droids. After we had ended the existence of a few battle droids, a word crackled over the com unit. That in itself was strange as we had been ordered to observe radio silence during the duration of the attack. I heard these words:
“’Execute order 66.’”
By this time we where all avidly listening to his tale.
He continued dramatically,
“Totally unaware of his impending doom, Ki-Adi-Mundi continued to block blaster bolts, ironically protecting the people that where about to destroy him
“So, as you might have guessed, the bloody clones opened fire. It was over before I even knew what was going on. There was nothing I could have done. Luckily they didn’t know I was a Jedi hidden within the armor. To them I was unit Alpha Tango 339900. There was no way I could have won against all of them, even if I had had my lightsaber. So I threw away my armor the first chance I got, stole a fighter, and headed here. The Queen offered me asylum, and here I am.”
There was a moment of profound silence before he asked glibly, “What about you, mate?”
I then told Steel my own tale. Andrew corrected and made idle comments as I progressed.
The next day, Steel filled me in on the present situation. I was being hidden in secret chambers in the royal palace at Theed. The Queen herself had put me up, though officially, of course, neither Steel nor I existed. After a while, I was able to get up and move around a little and think more clearly. Finally I got up the nerve to ask a question that had been in the forefront of my mind.“Is the Pacifist still… in one piece?”
“Sorry mate… after dragging you put of the wreck we could see that there was no saving her! Though I guess it’s just as well; we would have had to destroy her anyway, seeing as you aren’t here and all that.” His talking so flippantly about my beloved ship was almost too much to bear.I Honestly think that if my ship made it in one piece I would continue with my lonely exile.
That’s when I made yet anther mistake. I found the royal cellars. Mysteriously, several bottles of the finest Tarisian ale disappeared that night.
Heck I was drunk that night.
I vaguely recall having my wake up party with Steel.
At around about midnight I asked, “Hic—hey, Steel, how long…hic…how long was I unkg…uncok...unconscious?”
“Umm—hic—I think it was about a week….no wait a month….oh yeah, I think it was about a month............
That’s the moment when my bodily systems gave up struggling to maintain my function. I collapsed with a bang to the floor.
Sorry for the wait but Andurilliblade's computer crashed due to a virus.Hope you enjoy it and comment about it
The Begining Of The End
Eventually I recovered fully from my crash. The medics of the palace said that I had fallen into a coma that no medical equipment could comprehend. To the machines I was a fully functioning, wide awake human being. Steel told me that I had fallen into a force coma.
I discovered many dark things had occurred during this “Force Coma” I had been in. Palpatine had turned the Republic into the first Galactic Empire.
A thousand years of peace and equality, struck down by the hand of the very monster upon which it was built: the people. Even the Jedi had been blind to this event. Because we attempt to rise above our emotions, we lose sight of those of others, until now, it is the most unpredictable of emotions that brings down all we have built: fear.
The palace of Theed soon became a sanctuary for lost Jedi. Over the next few months I settled into a comfortable, if monotonous, routine. More Jedi slowly arrived until we were a sizable force. Queen Apilania began to quietly invest in military equipment. Groups of insurgents contacted us. Communications and equipment where being readied for the oncoming war. We made contact with other groups of surviving Jedi and began to plan.
I spent the rest of the year doing just that. I taught the Royal Guard a thing or two about wartime strategies endlessly.I also went through saber sequences with Andrew.It felt so good to fight back against the new threat that was consuming the galaxy.
After the end of the new galactic year somthing finally developed.
The Queen told us that we were going to be smuggled to the outer rim so that with the Queen's resources we could begin to start our own private rebelion with the other small groups we had contacted previously.
One month after Palpatine discovered that Naboo was quietly rebelling against his new Empire he ordered the Nabbo senators to make way for an Imperial garrison in the hangars of Theed. That hindered us Jedi’s capacity to move about quite a bit, as the palace was regularly subjected to thorough searches.
We were forced to stay in cramped underground quarters that were hidden by a secret passageway directly under the royal throne. Our numbers had reached over 20, excluding Andrew and me.
Alas, this peace would be short-lived.
It was cloudy night when the Imps attacked. There was little light as the clouds swallowed the moon and blotted out the stars. Perhaps the Force had tried to warn us, to no avail. They descended quietly, attempting to silently squash us before we could rally.
I was restless that night, and I was having a walk around the streets of Theed as there where no Imperial patrols during the middle of the night.The next morning we where going to be shipped off to Dago 5 where we could start our new rebellion. Typically that was the time the empire attacked, right before we where leaving.
Apparently, I was supposed to be the first casualty of the Battle of Theed. A sniper was aiming for my head, intending to put a painful end to my life. The said sniper was perched on one of the beautiful elevated balconies of the majestic houses of Theed. He fired a shot. Amazingly, that was the moment I ducked. I had found a 20 credit chip on the street and had ducked down, intending to pick it up and pocket it. Then a beam of energy singed my hair and landed with a shower of sparks on the street next to me. Reacting quickly, I pulled a blaster out of a holster at my hip and fired with practiced precision. The storm trooper fell off the balcony and landed with a soft splash in a nearby fountain. That was not all that happened, however. The blaster automatically sent a distress signal to the palace security and Captain Typho. An alarm blared, and within moments every soldier in the city was armed and ready for battle. The auto turret defense network came online, searching for white, armor-clad targets.
If Naboo was to be taken, it would not go quietly. What should have been a quiet slaughter had turned into a huge battle. I ran back to the palace and grabbed myself a blaster rifle. We Jedi had agreed that if we were attacked, we were to be normal soldiers and to only activate our light sabers if in the greatest of need. All the able-bodied men of the city had begun to mass at the Palace gates, ready for war.
I rushed out of the palace with a group of men to secure the vital areas of the city. After we put a sizable force throughout the main courtyard, we thought we would be ready for any of the Imps’ attacks.
We were wrong.
There was an earsplitting explosion as one of the buildings near the courtyard lost a large section of wall. A whole division of storm troopers began to pour out of the hole. Everyone opened fire. I wove through blaster fire and managed to shoot several Stormtroopers. For good measure, I chucked a couple of grenades through the hole. Though the Naboo forces fought valiantly, we were defeated by sheer numbers. All throughout the battle, I had to resist the temptation to activate my lightsaber which hung unused under my tunic. Eventually we where forced out of the courtyard. The order came through to retreat, but some brave (or foolish) people decided to stay to fend off the Imps. So I toured the streets, taking shots at any white-armored troopers that where dumb enough to get in the way. And as I ran, mowing down men in front of me, I began slowly to turn into a monster. I felt the thrill as my enemies dropped with a hole smoking between their eyes. It made me feel invincible. Suddenly orders came through the com. The queen was making a break for it and all Jedi were ordered to report to the royal palace to protect her. That’s when a large group of Imps decided to turn up. They opened fire, and the remainder of my comrades dropped dead.I continued to fire knowing that death would come but I would take as many enemies down with me as possible. It happened so quickly; I knew I wouldn’t survive.
As I was prepared for death,while stimultaneously firing my blaster Andrew made his appearance.
He leapt off an elevated rooftop, straight into the line of fire, his blade shimmering with blue light. I reacted quickly,continuing to sink blaster bolts into my enemies’ chests. Andrew was doing very well, blocking bolts with practiced fineness. He leapt at the Stormtroopers, taking them out one by one. Soon all of our enemies were dead or dying. Andrew turned to me with a wide grin on his face. The image of his face at that precise moment is forever implanted in my mind.
I said praisingly, maybe even a little jealously, “Andrew, that was incredibly dangerous! You could have….. You could have…”
I… I never ended that sentence. I don’t even know how I would have ended it, even after all these years.
A blaster shot fired behind Andrew. He gasped and clutched his chest as he sank to the pavement. I caught him over my shoulder, and I saw the smoking blastermark in his back.
I also saw the trooper that had fired it.
I reached out my hand—and then the memory becomes a nightmare. I don’t know what I did, or what I felt, or what I thought. The next moment, the trooper was dead, his whole body conext thing I felt was—joy? But my soul cried to me to tend the dying boy on my shoulder, not my own selfish desires.
He was still breathing. I ripped my medkit from my belt and tore it open, but Andrew laid his hand on my arm and shook his head.
And so he died. I’ll never forget the way he breathed my name; forced though pain up from the well of death, from a warrior’s lips, but with the fondness and innocence of a child.
I don’t know how long I was there, kneeling over his cold, lifeless corpse. I wept, and I made an oath that night, a terrible oath. I swore that I would not rest until every enemy of the Old Republic lay dead at my feet.
I…. I don’t want to keep on writing tonight.
I… these memories…..
Please comment if you have read as it greatly increases my morale :D:D:D
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I discovered a cave today while I was having a walk through the
countryside. I went in and discovered that it reeked of both Dark and Light Side power. I explored, but was eventually forced out by a large group of Kinrath. I intended to go back soon as I feel as if the Force is drawing me there. Anyway, I will continue with my writing.
I scavenged Andrew’s corpse and took his lightsaber and all the things that happened to be in his pockets at the time. A packet of gum, a 5 credit chip, a bag of chocolates and a small blaster that I had entrusted to him a few days before the attack. I should probably have stayed, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to leave the horrible place where I had lost someone that had almost been like the son I never had. I began to stagger towards the hanger, weighed down by grief and anger. At a second thought I slung Andrew’s warm corpse around my body. I had to assume the battle was over as only the occasional sound of blaster fire echoed through the city. On the way to the Hangar I encountered a large clump of trees. I had an idea. I pulled out a pistol with a silencer attached and fired at the trees. They quickly began to burn a brilliant red. Then I somberly kissed Andrews cold cheek. It was so sad, his lekku lying limp… unmoving. I cast my friend’s body into the brilliant flames. It was good that he would have a true Jedi’s funeral. I waited a moment and then quickly skulked into the shadows, heading towards the hangar. I knew that tomorrow I would wake up with an empty space in my heart.
One who retreats lives longer.
I reached the Palace hanger. I discovered the all the ships were sabotaged except for a TIE fighter that had obviously landed recently as the ion engines where still hot. [You tend to use that sentence structure a lot. Try to vary your sentence patterns to make it a smoother read.] I intended to take off and hightail it off of the bloody planet. I was about to climb in when a cold, metallic voice rang through the hangar.
“Stop there, Rebel scum!”
A squadron of 6 troopers in tight formation pointed their rifles at me. They had just entered through the doors of the hangar.
The commander raised his hand and barked, “Ok, men, fire in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”
All of them pulled their triggers, but nothing happened. I had used one of the oldest tricks in the book .I had used the Force to make all the safeties on the blasters click backwards. One the troopers managed to say, “Oh sh—”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence. I threw a charged ball of Force energy at the tightly packed squadron. Those that weren’t incinerated went flying into the back of the hanger. I remember it felt so satisfying to hear the crack of bones as the troopers hit the wall.
I was ready to leave, but then I heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps echo through the hangar.
“Drop your blaster….NOW!”
I turned. An imperial officer was staring at me. I knew him to be an officer because of his uncomfortable-looking uniform that hung from him like an unwanted second skin. At closer inspection, there was something about the officer that just looked… wrong. I realized that his face seemed to be distorted, cracked, and scarred much like a picture I had seen in the Jedi Archives of a…..Sith. This man had the faintest echo of the Force at his command.
When I realized what a threat he was I pushed the cautious part of my brain into a dark, shadowy basement. I intended to use the element of surprise, but that particular strategy didn’t work. I pulled my lightsaber to my hands and leapt at this new opponent. He reacted too quickly, drawing a lightsaber that was as red as a mynock’s eye, with which he parried my assault. The officer backed away.
“Ah…there were rumors of yet another Jedi here! My master will be pleased!”
With those cold, hard words he began to throw torrents of horrible force lightning towards me. I blocked, sending the unimaginable power back towards my assailant. He screamed. It was so loud I was forced to drop my guard and cover my ears. Suddenly, the agonizing sound was replaced by a pain in my chest. He had renewed his attack while my guard was down. I was dead, nothing could save me. A miracle occurred however. It was Captain Typho. He limped into the hangar, several burns covering his body. He had a blaster in his hand. He aimed and fired. The aim was perfect, but the Sith’s saber swung to intercept the bolt. The Bantha poodo blocked and sent the charge straight to Typho’s chest, killing him instantly. Typho was dead, but he had died heroically and for a good cause. The Sith had been distracted and had stopped the wave of lightning just long enough for me to snake my lightsaber upwards into a defensive position. Now I was ready for a fight. I attacked ferociously, putting all my might into my attacks. I thought that killing this Sith would make Andrew’s death slightly easier to bear.
The next few minutes became a blur, my saber a haze. This Sith was nowhere near as powerful as Skywalker, and I knew that I had the advantage. I moved quickly, and eventually I won out. The battle went into a huge clash of sabers, forming a blue and red “X” between us. I quickly made a fist and punched my opponent’s gut. He staggered back, and I lightly skimmed his leg with my saber while Force pulling his saber to my hand. He fell to his knees with a cry, his concentration broken, helpless.
“Do you worst, Jedi!” he spat.
It would have felt so good to run my saber through his chest, to feel the savage pleasure as he drew his last breath. Half of me thought killing him would save me, while the other half knew it would destroy me. I had every right to kill this man, but although I had already brutally murdered that night, my soul could take no more.
I instead used a cruel trick that I think the Sith deserved.
I delved with little difficulty into his mind and discovered that his greatest fear was…. snakes.
Then I created an illusion. I shaped it with the Force’s power .Suddenly this man started seeing snakes devouring his own corpse in his mind. He began to scream as he visualized his own horrible fate.
With a thud he drooped to the floor, writhing in agony.
I said coldly, “This is what happens if you cross me, you Gizka! Now I want you to tell your “Master” that I am dead, or this will be your fate!”
He continued to scream. I took his saber, a few credits, and most importantly an Imperial passkey and identity chip. They would be most useful. I took off in the TIE Fighter. Stars waited. I wanted a drink to drown my sorrows. I was reaching out to the stars. Then just as I was about to enter hyperspace, I saw an asteroid. I suddenly realized that crashing into it would be a reasonably painless death that would truly end my sorrows. I could see Andrew again!
I changed course towards the asteroid. I was embracing death.
Suddenly The TIE fighter I was piloting shuddered; I realized I was caught in a Star Destroyer’s tractor beam.
I swore… loudly.
Today I discovered something that threatened me. An assassin, sent to presumably take out either me or the current administrator who has not been dealing favorably with the Imps setting up labor camps on Dantooine. Luckily I heard a stray thought from the would-be killer and tailed him. I dumped his corpse in the lake that is about a kilometer from my house.
I fear an Imperial investigation and I am thinking about whether to move to another backwater planet or stay put. Just like my old ship I have become attached to my little cottage. To be honest I don’t know what to do…
It was a horrible repeat of the last time I was flying above the planet that an hour ago I called home. I was slowly dragged in to a hangar filled to the brim with auto-turrets and defense droids. I don’t pretend that I’m invincible, and leaping out of the TIE with my lightsaber activated would be suicide. So strange that I had been thinking of just that a few minutes previously. But suddenly, I had no desire to die. Andrew had died so that I could live. I would not waste his life by throwing away mine. I would make his sacrifice count. I would make it count for a lot. I hid a small pass-key in the sole of my boot and waited for the tractor beam to set my ship down. Of course I also hid my lightsaber in the very same compartment. I slowly slithered out of the ship and put my hands on my head. A trooper cuffed my hands behind my back and led me to an elevator. We emerged in the detention center, where I was catalogued and assigned a cell. They didn’t bother to search me; the metal detectors hadn’t picked up anything, thanks to my boot having a shielded Cortis-weave surrounding the compartment in my boot they were complacent. Too complacent. I made a mental note as I was marched off to my cell.
As I sat in my cell, I tried to find out what other prisoners were near me. Other Jedi might have survived. I reached out with my mind and touched the minds of those around me. There were a few Rebel troopers. (I remember one of them was in terrible pain from a recent interrogation. I did what I could to take the pain from his mind. Andrew would have liked that.) But also, there were many officials. Ambassadors, Royal guards, diplomats…I wondered why there were so many. But the guard was returning; I didn’t have much time to wonder.
I was led back to the detention center, where other apparent new arrivals were waiting. Bags were put over our heads, and we were led off. After what seemed like hours of twisting and turning, we arrived at a large area with lots of people in it. And then I heard the breathing.
And I knew that Anakin Skywalker was dead.
I tried to shield my mind from Vader, but I was too late. He stalked up to me and tore my hood off.
I had no plan for a turn like this, but something happened then that I didn’t expect.
I felt the Force take control of my body. I leaped for Vader’s throat. A Stormtrooper behind him raised his blaster and fired. The Force shoved my body down just as the blaster bolt hit me between the eyes, and a voice, almost audible, inside my head, spoke. “You are dead. Act dead until you need to be alive. I will tell you when. Trust me.”
Vader had wasted no time in dispatching the hapless Stormtrooper who had ‘killed’ me. With a curse he ordered his guards to drag my body off. I was dead…and in a very favorable position.
I know I haven't updated in a while but finally the first terms worths of homework has laid off.
Well I hope you like it!!!!!
A Terrible Accident
The Imperials did take their revenge upon me in a way. Suddenly the administrator became far more complacent. Her daughters apparently had gone to a boarding school. Most sentient beings with brains could figure out what was going on. A shame, but helping would only arouse a suspicion that could lead to the death of many a peaceful farmer.
I will continue with my tale.
I had to escape the station, but I couldn't simply leave my rescuer and the other Rebels to die. The voice in my head...I recognized it...it was an old friend of mine, Heckler, a human I had grown up with in the Jedi Temple. 'Friend' would be a loose term; I didn't entirely trust him. He had been involved with some shady business with the royal Drakonian family...but that is for another time.
It didn’t matter now anyway. I had to save my Jedi colleague.
I was thrown into a trash compactor that was thankfully half empty. I wasn’t going to be crushed anytime soon.
I left my body then.
My body deserved a rest. Luckily spirits tend not to tire. I found a lowly technician that was sneakily chewing spice near a trash compactor nearby .I planted a thought into to his skull and floated back into my own physical being.
He suddenly had a mysterious thought that he should miss his shift and stay here chewing on spice for another long while
I waited for an hour, going through a state that is in-between sleep and meditation. Then the door to the trash compactor slid open with a soft hiss, brought about by a subtle use of telekinesis that I prayed Vader would not detect.
I calmly walked out of the compactor, glad to be free of the stench.
I found the technician that I had previously tampered with chewing spice in his old position. He was in a trance from the spice, so I pinched his nose and closed his mouth until he suffocated. I then used the Force to remove any indication from his body of my presence during his death.
A terrible accident.
A lowlife technician had wandered from his quarters, completely naked and high on spice into a small corridor near the trash compactors, when his heart gave out.
Another poor soul lost to narcotics.
I was no longer a Jedi, I was a machine.
In the garb of a technician I was unnoticeable amongst the crowds of the Death Star. I knew that it would be very easy to steal aboard a ship and escape, but that would throw my past away like a cloak into the wind.
I needed a plan and I was out of ideas.
I suddenly felt the urge to curl up in a corner and cry.
In the legends of old, Jedi are closed-handed warriors of peace. We are famous for our emotionless looks that accompany the technicalities of politics. When battle becomes necessary, we save as many as we can, but many times we face heavy casualties.
During the Clone Wars I had a habit that began on Geonosis. I was part of an elite squad of clone troopers that had been training with Jango Fett for over two years. During this time they had developed their own unique, colorful personalities.
We were an invincible force, carrying out espionage and covert operation throughout the galaxy. Occasionally we faced casualties and we were all pained by the fact, but we continued the fight.
They were second family to me.
During a long siege on Technoran IV we had sneaked into a transport that had landed droid reinforcements a few days earlier. We knew the Sep reinforcements were somewhere planetside, but our sensors couldn’t pick anything up. We were going to sneak in and check out the navlogs of the transport so we could find out and prepare an orbital strike on the Seps secret base.
Unfortunately while we were observing radio silence while searching the ship a massive battle broke out in orbit. A small frigate that belonged to a group of Republic mercenaries fell from the sky into the jungles of the planet. Unfortunately the ship that we were in happened to been in that patch of jungle.
It fell right on top of us.
My whole squad was crushed by the rubble.
I only lived due to pure blind luck but Yoda would probably say it was the will of the force.
Afterward I was forced to fend for myself in a bloodthirsty jungle as the com beacons on the ships in space had evidently been destroyed.
I couldn’t contact anyone, but in the end I survived by attracting a gunship with a flare from a salvaged survival kit.
Two days later The Republic officially retreated from the planet…my clone brothers had died for nothing.
After a week of recovery in the halls of the temple I headed out to another planet as the newly named Jedi General of the recently formed 105th Infantry Assault Battalion.
During the following years I made and lost many new friends among my brothers in arms.
After nearly ever battle in which a close friend or fellow Jedi died I cried in my quarters, away from the assessing eyes of the troops.
I now realize that every one of my brothers would have put a bolt of plasma through my head without a second thought.
I was forcibly bumped out my memories by a stuttering Imperial lackey tripping over his own feet and mine in a barrage of whispered profanity and apologies.
I went into a quiet corner and removed the imperial passkey that I had taken off the Sith back on Naboo. I stuck said pass-key into a information terminal, being gratefully rewarded with a uncomplicated schematic of the battle station, though it was missing several sections, including the prison block and the laser control area.
I was reluctant to use to use the Force to sense my way through, as even the slightest excess use of my power would alert Vader to my return to the mortal world.
Uncertain of what to do, I wandered the massive station until I came across a group of technicians speaking of having to repair a torture droid. I followed at a distance, aware that any moment I could die.
They led me to a set of prison blocks, thankfully uneventfully. It was a circular room that led to a single corridor lined with cells. The technicians that I had tailed were already repairing pointy looking droids in the main room. They didn’t even glance up when I entered the room. I walked towards the massive corridor intending to use a mind probe to find my Jedi colleague without alerting Vader.
Breathing a sigh of relief I entered the corridor and began to walk up it with a purposeful stride, trying to look like I was supposed to be there.
Suddenly a storm trooper with no helmet on and a blaster at his side walked out of a cell carrying a loaded syringe.
I leapt for him, knocking him to the ground with a clatter, cursing myself for keeping my saber in my boot.In reminiscence I probably could have mind tricked him to stand down but I suppose I made a mistake.
We were rolling around on the ground, and I managed to get a grip on the syringe. I jabbed it into his neck, hopefully either killing him or keeping him out of my way.
He went limp after barely a moment.
I had to move quickly. I heard the clatter of stormies coming up the hall, and I knew I was in deep trouble.
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