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-   -   13 Year Old Sussex Boy becomes Father (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=195748)

Astor 02-13-2009 07:22 AM

13 Year Old Sussex Boy becomes Father
 
Full Story

Well, i'm sure everyone in the UK has heard about this. I have to say I was shocked by this story - I really didn't think that things were this bad regarding sex education and awareness.

What is perhaps even more shocking, is that the parents of both children involved seem to think it's a perfectly normal occurence for a 12 and 15 year old:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boy's Father
He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.

There's no way on Earth either of them could fully understand the implications of having a child, and it's doubtful that the boy knew exactly what he was getting into.

Now it seems that they've both cut their childhood short for something most people in their 20s would think twice about doing.

Thoughts?

Jae Onasi 02-13-2009 09:20 AM

Kids who are sexually active at this young of an age have a significant probability of having been abused themselves. There's far more to this story, most likely, than appears here.

jonathan7 02-13-2009 09:26 AM

Depressing news, the kids clearly have issues, and furthermore, I think they should be taken into care as their parents are clearly incapable of doing a proper job!

Pho3nix 02-13-2009 09:28 AM

I feel sorry for the child. But Alfie gets +1 bonus points for his awesome name.

Samnmax221 02-13-2009 09:50 AM

Chav's.

EnderWiggin 02-13-2009 02:39 PM

Holy hell. This is absurd.

_EW_

Web Rider 02-13-2009 03:03 PM

Man, I didn't really believe the teen sex/pregnancy problem in the UK was that bad when people told me about it, but man that's just messed up.

jrrtoken 02-13-2009 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samnmax221 (Post 2588475)
Chav's.

Obviously. Damn those white people and their hip-hop.

Sabretooth 02-13-2009 09:33 PM

TBH, I'm not "shocked" per se, amused, perhaps. Teenage pregnancies happen all the time, as do pre-teenage pregnancies, probably not in the UK though, but you'll see them all around Africa.

Don't see why everyone's getting so shocked about the boy's proclamation that he will take care of the baby. It's not like he's living out on the streets of a foreign country now, he'll do fine: he has his parents and his erm, the baby's mom. There was no other option after she got pregnant, and hence his perfectly cool reaction that he'll take care of the kid and they'll raise him. Does the boy have issues? I'll say that he won't be humping anyone anytime soon, neither will the mom.

Though I can imagine how freaked out that baby will be when it learns its dad was 13 when he had sex with his 15 year old mom.

Q 02-13-2009 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth
I'll say that he won't be humping anyone anytime soon, neither will the mom.

Or they'll be going at it like rabbits whenever they get the chance.

Litofsky 02-13-2009 11:48 PM

Wow. That was laughable. My favorite part of the article was, "Alfie said he, 'thought it would be good to have a baby' and [that he would] 'take care of it.'"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth (Post 2588714)
Don't see why everyone's getting so shocked about the boy's proclamation that he will take care of the baby. It's not like he's living out on the streets of a foreign country now, he'll do fine: he has his parents and his erm, the baby's mom.

I disagree, Sabre. Though he may live with his parent's, the father is still a child, and not yet even in high school/college (not great points in one's life to have children, I think, but the points in this case are used as markers)! The point being is that he is neither physically or mentally mature enough in order to take care of a child, in my opinion, and nor should he attempt to.

Sabretooth 02-14-2009 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litofsky (Post 2588767)
I disagree, Sabre. Though he may live with his parent's, the father is still a child, and not yet even in high school/college (not great points in one's life to have children, I think, but the points in this case are used as markers)! The point being is that he is neither physically or mentally mature enough in order to take care of a child, in my opinion, and nor should he attempt to.

I mean it's not that he's all alone in this, his parents and the girl's parents will take care of the baby as well, in fact, I think they'll take care of the baby primarily.

What I'm saying is that his statements now are just disaster management: that the baby's been born, and he will be taken care of, there's nothing else that you can do.

EnderWiggin 02-14-2009 02:07 AM

When the kid starts kindergarten his father will be a senior in high school :(

_EW_

Astor 02-15-2009 11:28 AM

It gets worse. Today's papers are filled with the story that the father of the child could be one of up to eight similarly aged boys.

I'll try and the story, but it's just shocking.

Marius Fett 02-15-2009 12:03 PM

This is ridiculous. This kid is almost three years younger than me. I know that right now, at my age I could never hope to be a competent father, so I doubt Alfie will either.

The baby will end up being raised by her grandparents I think, as a 13 year old boy, and a 16 year old girl are far too young.

Underage sex is a big issue here in the UK, (most likely in other places too) and a better sex education program is definitely needed. Most kids these days just get info from their mates, which is usually unreliable.

A 12 year old boy may not, but a 15 year old girl should have had the sense to use protection, as she almost definitely knew the risks of unprotected sex.

Quote:

Chav's.
:lol:

TriggerGod 02-15-2009 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnderWiggin (Post 2588791)
When the kid starts kindergarten his father will be a senior in high school :(

_EW_

it might get a little wierd when the dad brings his report card back to his son.

Jason Skywalker 02-15-2009 03:50 PM

Words cannot express the weirdness of this situation. The kid looks like a 9-year old, when i'm actually only one year older than him. :hurk:

Litofsky 02-15-2009 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth (Post 2588787)
I mean it's not that he's all alone in this, his parents and the girl's parents will take care of the baby as well, in fact, I think they'll take care of the baby primarily.

Indeed. However, I was criticizing the child's saying that he would take good care of it. Apologies for misreading your earlier statement.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth (Post 2588787)
What I'm saying is that his statements now are just disaster management: that the baby's been born, and he will be taken care of, there's nothing else that you can do.

That's completely true. I have a feeling, however, that many will use this as a point to increase sex education, and other relating programs. Everything has its uses, I suppose.

Adavardes 02-15-2009 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litofsky (Post 2588767)
The point being is that he is neither physically or mentally mature enough in order to take care of a child, in my opinion, and nor should he attempt to.

This isn't entirely true. While I agree that this is ridiculous, and this much responsibility should by no means fall to someone so young (it is the literal end of your individual life to have a child as a teenager), that doesn't mean that he may not be able to meet the challenge. Everyone has varying levels of maturity at varying ages, and while I have no idea what kind of person this kid is, he might have what it takes to take care of a child at his age. My mother was 9 years old, and taking care of her 5 younger sisters, from newborn to 5 years old, because her older sister was married and gone, and her mother was a lush, leaving only her elderly grandmother who couldn't keep up with that many kids by herself. She was literally their mother for most of her childhood, simply because she had to be.

Attaching maturity and responsibility to age just doesn't work. I know a lot of people that are 20-30 years of age that aren't mature or responsible enough to take care of a goldfish, let alone a child. If he wants to give it a shot, while I think it is awful that he has to decide such a thing, he's stuck in the rut, so let him try. The probability is against him for having the needed character to do it, but we simply don't know for certain whether or not he does.

Darth Avlectus 02-15-2009 05:18 PM

WHAT THE F***?!

THAT is just messed up wrong. It doesn't get too much more messed up than that. --To think I knew peers who would actually joke about this very thing.

Quite sobering.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astor Kaine (Post 2588437)
Well, i'm sure everyone in the UK has heard about this. I have to say I was shocked by this story - I really didn't think that things were this bad regarding sex education and awareness.

What is perhaps even more shocking, is that the parents of both children involved seem to think it's a perfectly normal occurence for a 12 and 15 year old:

There's no way on Earth either of them could fully understand the implications of having a child, and it's doubtful that the boy knew exactly what he was getting into.

Now it seems that they've both cut their childhood short for something most people in their 20s would think twice about doing.

Thoughts?

That is some F***ed up BULL****.

What is obvious here is failure on all fronts on all levels. Not the least of which are the parents (EDIT: of the teen parents) as evidenced by their sentiment on the issue.


At the very least I believe this to be either a case resulting from sexual abuse or negligence...probably a combination of the two.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi (Post 2588463)
Kids who are sexually active at this young of an age have a significant probability of having been abused themselves. There's far more to this story, most likely, than appears here.

I most definitely agree with you on this, Jae.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnderWiggin (Post 2588566)
Holy hell. This is absurd.

_EW_

You sure said it, man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth (Post 2588714)
TBH, I'm not "shocked" per se, amused, perhaps. Teenage pregnancies happen all the time, as do pre-teenage pregnancies, probably not in the UK though, but you'll see them all around Africa.

Don't see why everyone's getting so shocked about the boy's proclamation that he will take care of the baby. It's not like he's living out on the streets of a foreign country now, he'll do fine: he has his parents and his erm, the baby's mom. There was no other option after she got pregnant, and hence his perfectly cool reaction that he'll take care of the kid and they'll raise him. Does the boy have issues? I'll say that he won't be humping anyone anytime soon, neither will the mom.

Though I can imagine how freaked out that baby will be when it learns its dad was 13 when he had sex with his 15 year old mom.

Just because this is a natural/regular occurrence amongst animals does not mean it is right for humans. Even in poorer continents. Oh sure I understand why it happens, but still. This is not right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qliveur (Post 2588715)
Or they'll be going at it like rabbits whenever they get the chance.

Oy.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Astor Kaine (Post 2589283)
It gets worse. Today's papers are filled with the story that the father of the child could be one of up to eight similarly aged boys.

I'll try and the story, but it's just shocking.

No $***? This just keeps getting better and better.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason Skywalker (Post 2589351)
Words cannot express the weirdness of this situation. The kid looks like a 9-year old, when i'm actually only one year older than him. :hurk:

Wierdness doesn't even begin to describe this...Faux Pas is a more adequate starting point I'd say--and even that doesn't do it justice.

What next, bears chugging cheap vodka on street corners and lighting joints in our hot tubs while we're gone?!:confused:

Oh wait that is already happening sort of. I guess this world is on its way to hell in a handbasket.

Rev7 02-16-2009 01:04 AM

Geez

Kids these days :(

adamqd 02-16-2009 06:01 AM

It's in the paper this morning that he wants a DNA test. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't his kid, the mother is 15 and although young has probably had other Partners. I'd be surprised if this boy really knows if he even finished the job for lack of a better phrase.

Darth Avlectus 02-16-2009 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamqd (Post 2589674)
It's in the paper this morning that he wants a DNA test. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't his kid, the mother is 15 and although young has probably had other Partners. I'd be surprised if this boy really knows if he even finished the job for lack of a better phrase.

Quoted for emphasis and truth. Good point as well adamqd. Now that I'm over the initial shock, that is a piece that doesn't add up about this whole thing. :confused::confused::confused:

...Jae, you are a doctor, so then, what expertise have you on this matter?

Web Rider 02-17-2009 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamqd (Post 2589674)
It's in the paper this morning that he wants a DNA test. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't his kid, the mother is 15 and although young has probably had other Partners. I'd be surprised if this boy really knows if he even finished the job for lack of a better phrase.

Still, even if he has no idea what he's getting into, good on him for not running away at the chance to not be a dad. He stuck his doodle in her hoo-ha and babies are a consequence of that. Whether or not he's prepared, at least he's manning up to it. It'd rather he do that than act like a twat and not accept responsibility.

Mav 02-17-2009 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnderWiggin (Post 2588791)
When the kid starts kindergarten his father will be a senior in high school :(

_EW_

If the kid turns out to be a genius maybe she could help her daddy with his homework... Anyway I'll just forward this link of Lynk's.... here

(yes that's 2 separate links)

adamqd 02-17-2009 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Web Rider (Post 2590222)
Still, even if he has no idea what he's getting into, good on him for not running away at the chance to not be a dad. He stuck his doodle in her hoo-ha and babies are a consequence of that. Whether or not he's prepared, at least he's manning up to it. It'd rather he do that than act like a twat and not accept responsibility.

I meant more Biologically than "Knowing his way around a chassis". Not everyone is able to procreate at 13

Astor 02-17-2009 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamqd (Post 2590269)
I meant more Biologically than "Knowing his way around a chassis". Not everyone is able to procreate at 13

Actually, a Human male is capable of creating children from around the age of 6 upwards. But a 6 year old is not mentally mature enough to understand what they're doing.

Pho3nix 02-17-2009 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astor Kaine (Post 2590281)
Actually, a Human male is capable of creating children from around the age of 6 upwards. But a 6 year old is not mentally mature enough to understand what they're doing.

How?

adamqd 02-17-2009 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astor Kaine (Post 2590281)
Actually, a Human male is capable of creating children from around the age of 6 upwards. But a 6 year old is not mentally mature enough to understand what they're doing.

So every 6 year can create a child? I'm pretty sure I couldnt **** at 6

Astor 02-17-2009 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pho3nix (Post 2590284)
How?

I don't understand all that well myself, but 6 years of age is a figure that i've seen used in some studies. But, from what I gather, it's an incredibly rare occurance - 10 years of age is more likely.

Salzella 02-17-2009 10:10 AM

That's Sussex for you. eh, EH?

Ztalker 02-17-2009 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi (Post 2588463)
Kids who are sexually active at this young of an age have a significant probability of having been abused themselves. There's far more to this story, most likely, than appears here.

Not necessarily. I recently watched a tv doc about 'ghetto' culture in my own country. Where children of 9 would have sex in a garagebox so that they would become part of 'the group.' And the girls thought it was normal...

Just pointing out that this...behaviour is (sadly) not that unseen.

If I even look at my 'own' class, I see children of different sexes play more freely with each other then when I was a kid myself. Blame MTV, blame whatever, it's just fact and the story of this kid proves it....

Sabretooth 02-17-2009 11:32 AM

Ztalker is right, as a professional teenager, I can attest that there are many times when you 'feel it' and the only way to cure that feeling is to 'do it', but since there is no proper companion, you're forced to play it solitaire. I'm sure that had I had a companion at that age, I could have had a lot of fun. Just saying.

/high-fives sabre of the past

//no progress yet, sabre of the past, i'm still working on it

Drunkside 02-17-2009 12:05 PM

If ye ask me, the officials seem to be overreacting. So two kids younger than me got a kid? Whats the big deal? Yep its weird, really weird but not such a horrible news as the story you get to through the link makes it look.

Astor 02-17-2009 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drunkside (Post 2590414)
If ye ask me, the officials seem to be overreacting. So two kids younger than me got a kid? Whats the big deal? Yep its weird, really weird but not such a horrible news as the story you get to through the link makes it look.

The deal is that it should never have occured, had the Schools in East Sussex taught adequate sexual education classes.

That, and the parents of the 12 year old should have known better than to let him stay overnight with his 15 year old girlfriend.

Ztalker 02-17-2009 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astor Kaine (Post 2590415)
The deal is that it should never have occured, had the Schools in East Sussex taught adequate sexual education classes.

That, and the parents of the 12 year old should have known better than to let him stay overnight with his 15 year old girlfriend.

Maybe. I received proper (more than proper actually) sexual eduction, but it's not 'holy' in some cases. My girlfriend told me the pill only has 98% chance of doing it's supposed job.
So...even WITH proper education, there are still circumstances in which it isn't enough. I actually know a girl who thought she was pregnant after returning from the hospital (painkillers negates the effect of the pill). She wasn't, but it still supports my point.

I do however fully agree with your second statement regarding the parental control. Like Sabre said, the 'feeling' is always there. When the kids are lying next to one other, it's quit inevitable. Talking from experience when I say sleeping next to a girl you love is...exciting.

Mav 02-17-2009 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabretooth (Post 2590404)
Ztalker is right, as a professional teenager, I can attest that there are many times when you 'feel it' and the only way to cure that feeling is to 'do it', but since there is no proper companion, you're forced to play it solitaire. I'm sure that had I had a companion at that age, I could have had a lot of fun. Just saying.

/high-fives sabre of the past

//no progress yet, sabre of the past, i'm still working on it

:rofl:

Darth Avlectus 02-17-2009 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Web Rider (Post 2590222)
Still, even if he has no idea what he's getting into, good on him for not running away at the chance to not be a dad.

Yes the responsibility of his character is admirable. Especially considering there are adults here who don't even take responsibility.

Quote:

He stuck his doodle in her hoo-ha and babies are a consequence of that.
There *could* be exceptions here. Still, I have my doubts now as to whether or not he really is the father... I am no expert (Jae, some doctor's expertise here would be nice), however...if the naughty happened when the boy was 12...don't you think he might still (to put it nicely) have been a little undeveloped yet to "finish" the job??? There could be exceptions, but if that kid really is the father...frankly he barely comes across as 13 now...

Quote:

Whether or not he's prepared, at least he's manning up to it. It'd rather he do that than act like a twat and not accept responsibility.
True that.

CommanderQ 02-18-2009 12:06 AM

Oy, this kid was definately too young for that, young even for the unfortunate modern day situation. This problem is not exactly unusual, it seems to be happening everywhere, as Ztalker said, it is not (sadly) entirely unseen. There were probably a number of obvious problems with this situation. Still, feelings like what he had are in every person, it's just a matter of controlling these feelings to the right time, 13 is undeniably too young, but not everyone has absolute power over these feelings{not sure anyone does}.

Web Rider 02-18-2009 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GTA:SWcity (Post 2590746)
There *could* be exceptions here. Still, I have my doubts now as to whether or not he really is the father... I am no expert (Jae, some doctor's expertise here would be nice), however...if the naughty happened when the boy was 12...don't you think he might still (to put it nicely) have been a little undeveloped yet to "finish" the job??? There could be exceptions, but if that kid really is the father...frankly he barely comes across as 13 now...

Studies have shown that girls are developing younger and younger, with a fair correlation to the chemicals in our food. It's not surprising that there would be an effect on boys as well. I remember I could "finish" the job when I was 12. Really, human maturation rates are excessively slow in comparason to any animal in the world. We're treating younger and younger people with more responsibilities and more pressure, and I think that's adding to their younger development.


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