Jedi Hunter (Chapter 1)
( Note: This is AU)
Coruscant, night, outside a bar
In the night streets of Coruscant, two Jedi Knights walk. The first has brown eyes, white hair and some scars in the face. He must be in the late 50's. His name is Nilas. The other, Ted, is a young man with red hair. He is slim. Both wear black jedi robes. The young jedi laughs and speaks with his master.
- Ha ha. What a night, Master.
- Yes, i really needed those two drinks. Anyway, now we must go to the jedi temple to meet with Skywalker.
Suddenly a smoke surrounds the entire place.
- Master, what is this?
- I..i don't know.
Ted scans the smoke nervously. A shape flashes between the camera and him, and when it is gone, Ted now looks shocked. He looks down at a wound in his chest, then falls forward.
Out of nowhere, Nilas hears a voice.
- Jedi, I am a ghost of the past. A ghost that wants revenge.
Nilas, afraid, shouts.
- Who are you?! What do you want?!
- Your lives!
Nilas remains calm and tries to find the location of the killer, by hearing his voice.
- So, where are you? Why do you hunt us?
Nilas ignites his lightsaber, looking left and right cautiously.
- To take revenge!!
The old Jedi, whispers.
- He must be somewhere left of me.
He pauses, and turns just a little toward his left. As he does, the shadowy figure appears to his right and cuts off his head. Then he takes a sample of the blood of the jedi and leaves.
28 years after the death of the Emperor, a new jedi order has been created. Those jedi knights fight for peace and freedom in the galaxy. For those things they fought in the Second Galactic Civil War.
However a man tries to destroy the Jedi. A man wants to kill the jedi and uses every weapon he has to do this. A ghost from the past is coming to kill the jedi. The Jedi Hunter!
2 days after the assassination of the two jedi, in a base underground of Coruscant
In as small base underground Coruscant, there is a small room with one huge computer, with an even more huge screen, and many weapons. Suddenly a man comes in. The man is tall, slim, with blue eyes and a brown beard and brown hair. He wears a black jedi robe. The man goes near the computer. As he touches the screen of the computer, the computer speaks with a woman's voice.
- User Name?
- Jedi Hunter.
The Computer stops working for one second and then a light appears in the screen.
- Welcome sir!
- Hello T3.
- Hello Master.
- I want information about master Katan and his location.
- Coming Master.
Jedi Knight with brown eyes, a beard and long white hair. He was one of the 12 Jedi that managed to survive operation Storm. There is unofficial information that he is visiting the Jedi temple in Coruscant, to talk with Master Skywalker.
- Thanks, T3. Can you create a Face Spray?
- Of course Master. Just give me a sample of the blood of the person you want.
- Here it is.
- In a few minutes i will create the spray.
After a few minutes.
- The spray is ready sir. Face Spray is a spray that allows a person to change his face for 1 hour.
- I know. Thank you T3.
As the man uses the spray on his face, the face of the man changes to the one of the old jedi that was killed two days ago.
- Now i can go at the jedi temple. See you in a few hours T3.
- Good Luck Master!
So the man leaves for the Jedi temple. After a few minutes he enters the jedi temple. There he is stopped by a guard.
- What do you want!
- I am Jedi Master Nilas. Before two days i discovered something terrible and i want to inform Master Katan.
- Eee....Okay, i guess.
- Thank you, guard.
As the Man walks in the jedi temple, he opens a hologram and whispers.
- T3, when i enter the room of Katan use a virus to turn off the security cameras.
- Okay, Master.
The Hunter stops at a com panel, setting his comlink against it. There is a beep, and he punches some buttons, which is answered by another beep. He removes the comlink, returning it to his robe.
- T3, use the virus now!
- Yes master.
As the Jedi Hunter walks to the room of Katan, the security cameras turn off. In the security center there is panic. Because the entire system is shut down, he cant warn Skywalker by using his own com panel. One of the guards asks a Jedi youngling to help them.
- You, do you want 10 credits?
- Yes sir.
- Inform Master Skywalker to go at the room of Master Katan.
Meanwhile the Hunter throws a smoke grenade inside the room of Katan, enters the room and closes the door. Master katan, panicked and afraid, shouts.
- Who are you?! What do you want?!
- Who are you?!
- You must remember me. Three years ago. In Phoenix.
- You... Don't tell me you are..
- Yes, i am the one.
- But you died three years ago.
- Yes, i died. But,my spirit comes to take revenge upon you! I am now a ghost of the past. A ghost that wants revenge.
- Enough!! You will die for real now!!
Katan pulls out his blue lightsaber. As he tries to defend, the Hunter stabs the Jedi on the feet, using his red lightsaber. Katan shouts in pain.
- Aaaahhhh!!! My feet!!!
- Now, it is time to take revenge.
Meanwhile the boy finds Luke Skywalker.
- Master Luke, one of the guards asked me to inform you that you must go at the room of Master Katan.
- What?! I must go as fast as i can!!
Luke starts running, in order to save Katan. Meanwhile Katan shouts.
- Where are you!?
Suddenly he hears a voice coming from behind him.
Before Katan can react, the Hunter cuts off his head. Then he leaves the room. Meanwhile Luke rushes toward Katan's room. Hunter, disguised as Nilas steps aside as Luke rushes past him.
As Luke opens the door, he finds the dead body of Katan.
- Oh, no! Guards, stop anyone who tries to leave the temple!!!
However it is too late. The Hunter has already left. With a smile in his face, he walks in the streets of Coruscant, when T3 messages him.
- Master, was the mission a success?
- Of course it was. One is gone. That just leaves the other eleven.
I could definitely follow this story more closely than some of your others, but I do have a few questions and comments:
--Star Wars monetary units are called "credits" or "credit chips", not "galactic cents".
--Ghosts typically don't say they've "come back from the dead". That sounds more like a zombie or a vampire. Rather, they might say, "My spirit comes to take revenge upon you!"
--"Killing" a ghost means an exorcism, because a lightsaber would pass right through it.
Still, keep writing! I want to see where this story goes.
Thanks for your advise. I hope that you will like and the next chapters.
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