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-   -   *SPOILERS*The "Infamous ___ Scene", the way it should have been. SPOILER - LONG READ (http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=41246)

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 12:38 AM

The Infamous "Jan Scene", the way it should have been. SPOILER - LONG READ
 
SPOILERS.... DUH...

Hey there, ladies and gents. For a while now, I've been thinking how Raven should have handled Kyle and Desann's first meeting. I knew Raven wanted us to believe that Jan had been killed, but most of us never really bought into it. Well, I wrote a short-story based upon the events just after the great prisoner rescue on the meteor. I wrote it to depect a scenario that would let us better believe in Jan's death - mixed in with subtle references during the game that afferms this illusion, more of us would believe it, and spike up the emotion to this game. This is only one scene, and I probably won't write a couple of others I had in mind to compliment this. Not my best work, but I'm sure you all will get the idea.

Here we go.

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Enter Dark Jedi
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Setting: Kyle has just met with Jan's captures: Desann and Tavion. Jan's hands are bounded behind her back with binders; Tavion holds her by the hair to ensure Jan's cooperation. On the Lambda shuttle ramp, they both watch Kyle and Desann "talk" things out.

Kyle holds his blaster in one hand, doing his best to look fearless and intimidating. His hardened eyes dart from Jan and her capture, to Desann's reptilian face.

Jan catches a glimpse of her partner. "Blast them Kyle!" she yells, followed by a yielp as Tavion tugs on her hair.

Desann raised his eyes. Or at least Kyle thought he did. Reptilian facial expressions weren't one of his areas of interests. "Kyle? You're Kyle Katarn? The Jedi legion who slain Jerec at the Valley of the Jedi?"

Kyle eyed Desann with great suspicion. How could he know about the Valley of the Jedi? "Yeah. That's me," he said slowly.

Desann scoffed. "You look like nothing more than a haggard Bantha herder."

Kyle half-smiled. "And you look like a Kawakian Monkey-Lizard," he retorted. "So I guess looks don't count for much. Hand her over." He motioned the blaster rifle towards Jan.

Desann spared her a glance. "You," he started, "desire this woman, Katarn?" He turned back to Kyle, brining himself to his full height - his frame nearly twice the size of Kyle's.

The mercenary fought the urge to gulp in the sight of his adversary. He looked over Desann's shoulder to Jan. She stopped her struggle, waiting for Kyle to make his move. He took a step forward.

Desann let out a series of low chuckles. With a snap-hiss, he ignited his Lightsaber. The ruby energy blade cut into the air, casting the eerie silence away with its low, all too familiar hum.

The moment hit Kyle harder than a rock in a meteor storm. "Jedi…" he whispered.

"Come," Desann invited. "Take her!" With the flick of the Dark Jedi's wrist, the large stone support of the landing zone's entrance collapsed into a voluminous dust cloud. Kyle snapped his view from the entrance back to Desann. "Aw, Sithspit!" he muttered as he started a sprint to the Raven's Claw.

Kyle pumped a few blaster shots at Desann, knowing full well that the bolts would be reflect right back to him. But he had to try, and he made a dive behind a set of cargo crate just in front of the Claw, dodging those very bolts. He could smell the sickly-sweet stench of ozone as he clambered for his weapons.

"Jedi…" he growled to himself. "Why did it have to be a blasted Jedi?" He looked at his weapons. What could he possibly use against a Jedi? His blaster rifle and Bryar would be useless against a Lightsaber. He did have a couple thermal detonators and trip mines. Explosives. They'll do.

"Kyle!" Jan yelled.

Kyle didn't dare peak out. But it wasn't like he could hide from Desann. He focused on her voice.

"Kyle!" she screamed again. "Don't worry about me! Get out of here! Go get - "

Tavion cut her off with another hard yank of the hair. "Quiet," she snarled.

Desann laughed, a hardy, fulfilling cackle that ran a chill through Kyle's bones. "Why are you hiding, Jedi? Afraid of a 'monkey-lizard' are you?"

Kyle primed a thermal detonator for impact mode. He peaked up from the cargo containers and lobbed it at Desann with all of his strength. He watched as it curved down on its deadly arc. But the laws of physics ceased when it bounced back from an invisible wall. It headed straight for Kyle.

Without a word, Kyle leaped from his hiding spot and took refuge underneath the Claw. The explosion nearly blinded him, throwing pieces of stone and metal shrapnel at him. The shock wave shook his ship a little. He almost caught himself underneath a landing strut.

He heard another one of Desann's laughs. He grimaced to the duracrete floor below him, and crawled out to the other side of the ship, putting the Claw between him and Desann.

"Foolish try, Katarn," Desann bellowed. "Do you thing such things can stop a Jedi?"

Come on, Kyle, he thought to himself. Think…There has to be a way to stop him. There's always a way.

Mind tricks.

If Jedi could do it, Kyle can play the same game. If he could sneak a remote trip mine behind Desann, it just might distract him long enough for Kyle to make his big move. Yes. It was worth a shot. He readied his blaster rifle, and primed a remote mine.

Kyle aimed carefully and shot a piece of duracrete wall behind the Lambda shuttle. Tiny stone-like chunks rained down, causing Tavion and Desann to involuntarily glance at the hit.

Kyle made a mad dash for Desann and tossed the mine. At the same time, he showered Desann with blaster fire as he dodged and rolled from the reflected bolts. Run, jump, dive, roll, Katarn's athleticism allowed him to pull of each move carefully and fluidly, keeping him away from those blaster shots.

But Desann knew full well what he was up to. He simply picked the mine from mid-air, and threw it back at Kyle. Just before it neared lethal range, Desann squeezed his hand, detonating the mine.

The explosion knocked Kyle off his feet, causing him to trip to the ground face-down, and losing his blaster rifle.

"Kyle!" yelled Jan, again quieted by Tavion.

Kyle shook his head, bringing himself back to full alertness. But when he came to, he found Desann standing close. Too close. He involuntarily stood up and trotted backwards, only to find himself against a wall.

Desann stepped slowly stepped closer.

Kyle drew his trusty Bryar in the flash of a nanosecond, but Desann flicked it away just as quickly with the long arm of the Force. Kyle reached for his last detonator, but Desann already had him…

Kyle felt a sudden pressure against his throat. The air around him clasped his neck, and lifted him up in the air. He kicked his feet, trying to break free of Desann's grip.

"Enough of this charade," growled Desann. "You're not even worth the effort of striking your down."

Kyle wanted to respond in kind, but he was barely able to breathe.

"Perhaps as a Jedi, you would have made a worthy adversary," Desann sighed. Then edges of his mouth curved upwards to the equivalent of a smile. "Perhaps your woman will be of hardier stock. She certainly couldn't be any weaker than these colonists."

"No!" Jan barked.

That made Kyle find the strength to talk. "Don't you touch her…" he managed hoarsely.

"On second thought," Desann said thoughtfully. "Let her go."

Tavion was taken aback by the command. "Master?"

Desann threw Kyle against the wall. Kyle struggled to sit as he gained his lost breaths of air.

"Let her go, Tavion," Desann said lightly. "I find that these two have no real uses for our purposes." He walked away from a recovering Katarn, and stood by his young protégé.

Tavion didn't argue. But she did delay in undoing Jan's binders. She shoved her in Kyle's direction. "Go. Flee to your unworthy man."

"Kyle!" Jan called as she trotted to her partner.

"Now, Tavion," Desann said, his voice low and menacing.

Kyle looked up. "Jan?" he called urgently. "Jan! Dive! Dive!"

But it was too late.

"Jan!" he bellowed, long and hard.

Jan had no time to react. Tavion's Lightsaber, free of her hands, had impaled Jan's abdomen. The purple energy blade protruded neatly out in the front.

And time stood still. The moment had frozen. Perhaps it was a Jedi reaction. The image, leaving a permanent place in Kyle's mind.

Then time started to resume once more. But slower this time.

Jan looked down at the blade, then back at Kyle. Her nervous system wouldn't register anything yet. He was in too much shock to understand what had happened.

The purple energy glow retracted and left Jan's body. The hilt of the handle flew en route to Tavion's hand. The mortal wound had left a neat, black scorch mark in Jan's belly. She couldn't walk.

"Kyle," her voice waned. Her legs wouldn't respond. The blade had severed her spine near the waist. She simply keeled forward. Slowly. Much slower than the planet's gravity should have allowed.

Kyle didn't know where he found his strength, but he found himself right in front of Jan, catching her as she pitched towards the ground. With his friend in his arms, time finally caught up to speed.

"Jan," he whispered. "You're gonna be okay," he said frantically, kneeling her slowly to the ground. "Just…just…" He couldn't find anything to say. For the first time in years, he started to panic. He immediately found himself several years before. He remembered when he struck down the evil Jedi Maw, he teetered on the edge of falling to the Dark Side - with Jan, his only friend, the only person who had meant anything to him, in the balance.

And now, she lay in his arms, dying. He had betrayed the Force. And now, the Force had betrayed him.

Jan grunted, struggling to speak. "Kyle," she shuddered. "Go…"

"No," he snapped. "Not without you."

"Be…Strong, Jedi…" she whispered.

He nearly began to weep. His strength - mental strength - had left him when Tavion's Lightsaber left her hand.

"I…" Jan tried. "I…Luh…" And then silence. Her eyes had closed, and her head had fallen limp.

"No…" Kyle whispered. "Jan…" A tear fell on her forehead. Kyle touched his with hers. His last friend, his only living family had left him.

"Fool," Desann dismissed. "You weep for this pathetic woman? Perhaps you would like to join her?"

Kyle slowly brought his gaze to Desann. The two of them locked stares.

"Damn you, Desann," Kyle bit out, letting Jan's head lay on the floor. "You said - "

"I merely said that I have no use for either of you," Desann casually explained. "I never promised that I'd let you two live."

Kyle stood. "Why you…" Kyle sprinted towards Desann and Tavion, completely blinded with rage.

With the flick of a finger, Desann sent Kyle flying back, bouncing against the very wall he was cornered against.

Kyle fell to one knee, throwing all physical pain aside.

Desann shook his head. "Indeed, you are no Jedi, Katarn. You do not even deserve the lifeless body of your woman." He enveloped Jan's body with the Force and flung her into the Lambda shuttle. He showed no respect, treating it like a Tangian play doll. "We'll take care of the funeral services, Katarn. You woman's head will make an excellent trophy." He turned to his aide. "Tavion, if you would do the honors."

"Yes, Master Desann," she acknowledged. She marched up the ramp, retrieving Jan's lifeless body.

"Come, Katarn," said Desann. "I'm sure you'll find this…intriguing."

Kyle looked up, still somewhat dazed from the push. He saw Tavion hold Jan upright, wearing a freakish grin.

Desann casually strolled up the ramp and ignited his ruby Lightsaber. He held out his hand, steadying Jan's body with invisible supports.

Tavion backed away, admiring her Master's skills in wizardry.

"Let this be an example to all who face me," Desann announced. He pulled his energy blade back, and swung at Jan's head.

"No!" Kyle screamed. He yelled so loudly, his vocal cords almost gave out.

There was a brief flash of light. It was bright enough to force Kyle to flinch but he couldn't let himself look away. He saw the blade connect, and then he saw Jan's body, lifelessly collapse to the ground - her feet pointed towards him. A round shadowed object rolled near them. Kyle recognized the goggles on it…

Kyle dashed to the ramp. "You heartless sithspawn -"

Desann sent electrical bolts branching towards Kyle. The angry mercenary stopped in his tracks, refusing to fall to the ground. Eventually, he found himself stepping back until he was against the wall. Electrical nuances cascaded off of Katarn's body as Desann closed the portal. As the engines wined to life, Kyle could hear Desann's controlled maniacal laugher echo through his mind.

He stood. His bones ached with pain he hadn't experienced before. It hurt to stand. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breathe. But as the Lambda shuttle lifted off in a cloud of meteor dust, Kyle was deadly sure of one thing:

"If you want a worthy adversary," he snarled. "I'll give you a worthy adversary."

END SCENE
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If you spot any mistakes (or if you have ideas of your own), lemmie know!

enDless_Deliriu 04-09-2002 12:50 AM

umm.. How did they reattach her head?

Bacta is wonderous, but dead is dead

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 12:54 AM

Oh yeah. I should explain that....

It was a dummy. Tavion and Desann had this little plot planned to the last bit of dust. That's why the inside of the shuttle was dark.

But then again, you find that out later on in the game...ideally. ;-)

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 01:05 AM

hows about a human replica droid perhaps.....

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 01:07 AM

I'm glad that I'm stimulating everyone's imaginations. ;-)

But why would they spend money on a replica droid only to destroy it? And it's supposed to replicate a dead body, not a living one.

Cornbread 04-09-2002 01:16 AM

The lightsaber through her spine and intestines would kill her, let alone the decapitations. Other than the fact that she'd be dead beyond revival, it's well written :)

:biggs:

enDless_Deliriu 04-09-2002 01:20 AM

The lightsaber could just miss the spine and the likes. It's weird, but it's possible.

Then they could use the force to basically keep her from dying and the like before doing the dummy thing.

hmm.. starwars needs ninja jedi. No, I don't know where that came from

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 01:20 AM

*hack*qui-gon*hack*:D

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 01:21 AM

I dunno. I've "read" worse injuries in the EU novels, and concentraited Bacta works wonders.

And Obi-Wan wasn't a Jedi Master yet. ;-)

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 01:59 AM

i said QUI-GON not obi-won:D remember mauly raming his saber thru quis lower abdomen. what did he last 5 mins tops?

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 02:07 AM

Maul struck Qui-Gon a little higher than the abs - closer to the heart.

And I think these guys are talking about other powerful Jedi keeping someone else alive.

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 02:15 AM

Quote:

And I think these guys are talking about other powerful Jedi keeping someone else alive.
unhhhh(grunting noise) damn i missed that. still kinda out there methinks.

also the thing about the bacta that was refered to
Quote:

concentraited Bacta works wonders.
yes true it saved a severed spine a punctured spleen and a shattered pelvis, but thats taken out of context.

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 02:29 AM

I don't think so.

I read about Rebel pilots with broken backs - they were dunked in a Bacta tank for a week, and then they're moved to observation. It's possible.

And when you're dealing with the mysterious ways of the Force, there's plenty we don't know that can be "possible".

I thought I was pretty well in context.

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 02:43 AM

i bet we are talking about two diffrent books, i am talking about "the bacta war" by michael stackpole, how bout you?

edit: re: the force. yes all true, but we havent seen any of that before.(common ep3!:D )

BioHazzard 04-09-2002 02:47 AM

yall are talking about Bacta healing a severed spine thats all well and good, but I really dont think it would reattatch a severed head....As was said concentrated bacta may work wonders, but dead is dead, and I dont think you could survive without your head, do you??

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 03:00 AM

Quote:

I really dont think it would reattatch a severed head
DUCT TAPE!!! :D :D :D

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 03:05 AM

Heheh.. Duct tape. It fixes anything. ;-)

But read the responses before making your comments. We've already established that Desann decapitated a dummy/human replicant. Either one will suffice.

BioHazzard 04-09-2002 03:11 AM

HAHAHAH GOOD POINT...DUCT TAPE CAN FIX ANYTHING....HAHAH

BioHazzard 04-09-2002 03:12 AM

and I know, but they were still talking about Jan being healed, not being a dunny, replicant, and I was just bringing that to their attention

BuRn 04-09-2002 04:03 AM

yeah i believe force heal could have kept her from dying, then the bacta treatment. read any of stackpoles books, corran horn gets trashed and dipped in Bacta more times than i can remember.

also, its quite possible that Desann could have used a mind trick to make kyle see what he wanted him to see, then we could find out later when kyle regains the force.

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 06:55 AM

That could work, as well. So long as Katarn had severed all of his connections to the Force.

FatboyTim 04-09-2002 09:31 AM

"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded" (but not Kyle, who is an ex-Jedi afterall.) Desann certainly shouldn't have been able to mind-trick him, IMO...

"Jan died but was really a dummy" would definitely have been a poor plot device though. I'd have felt robbed if that had been the case! Sorry Wes...:p

Matt_K 04-09-2002 10:10 AM

sorry wes, I agree with FatboyTim.
Desann and Tavion (or just one of em) made kyle believe that Tavion stuck her lightsaber through Jan, thus killing her...and since Kyle has severed all his links with the force...he had no way of knowing that it was a illusion....
i also reckon that a dummy is sorta a non star wars idea.

but anyway.....nice try re-writing the plot

H.B.M.C. 04-09-2002 01:27 PM

Wel...
 
I thought the scene with Dessan was fine. I thought Jan got killed, and was relieved when Tavion said otherwise.

I don't think we needed to see anything, and as a plot device it worked fine (Kyle got angry, went to the Valley, allowed Dessan to follow).

BYE

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 02:43 PM

The thing about the game is that most of us didn't buy Jan's death. Some of us did - like the mere fact that they didn't show anything, period.

My haphazard re-write isn't the perfect example, but I sure as hell would have believed it.

I wouldn't feel robbed if they did decapitate the dummy. If you mean, you simply run into Jan later on without an explination...well, yeah, that'd be stupid. But when you have that showdown with Tavion, it'd be a little more edgy - since it'd take a little more than the "She's not really dead" ploy to spare her life. And when she finally reveals Desann's meticulously planned diabolical scheme - that he'd [Desann] go so far to make sure Kyle fell for the ruse - it'd make you go, "hmm..."

Trust me, if I wrote out a new script, things would be a lot more intreaguing. Not to say that they aren't already. ;-)

Among other things, I'd rather a beafier ending. It was a little on the light side.

BuRn 04-09-2002 04:00 PM

i think some of us are missing the point, most of us didnt buy the death scene because we KNEW they wouldnt kill Jan off, they wouldnt do it. if they did Kyle would have lost his entire reason for not completely falling to the darkside in the fight with Tavion.

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 05:00 PM

Right. If the player believed the death, the "Tavion Scene" could be considered JKII's equivolent to the "Fork in the Road", comparible to JK1's. It also would have meant a lot more.

When the scene came, I was basically nodding along, saying, "Yup. I already knew that. 'Bout time." What I should have been thinking is, "What the hell are you talking about? I saw you kill her! You're just affraid to die, ya' pansy."

Is she really speaking the truth? Or is she just looking to get away alive? They never really accomplished that in my opinion.

In fact....I'm surprised that Kyle actually fell for it!

----EDIT----

I think that if we truely believed that Desann and Tavion killed Jan, that would give us something to fight for. Not only is Kyle gunning for some payback, but so are we.

Just imagine when you actually see Jan alive - but not necessarily well.

SPY_jmr1 04-09-2002 05:05 PM

Quote:

Trust me, if I wrote out a new script, things would be a lot more intreaguing.
heheh DESAN: kyle i am your father!!!!! KYLE:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh wait thats taken........

maybe have tavion be kyles sister. as you know birds are desended from dinosours thats why she has that evil hairdo :D

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 05:09 PM

Err.... Not quite.. ;-)

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 08:39 PM

*bump*

Heehee...

Kordeth 04-09-2002 09:31 PM

I still want to know why the hell Desann says "The death of Katarn's woman blah blah blah" to Tavion when it's just the two of them on the shuttle!

I knew Jan wasn't dead as soon as they cut away from Tavion actually killing her. But having Desann keep up the charade when there was no reason to whatsoever was just plain dishonest storytelling.

qibbish 04-09-2002 09:51 PM

"I still want to know why the hell Desann says 'The death of Katarn's woman blah blah blah' to Tavion when it's just the two of them on the shuttle! "

Because it was the death (i.e. the illusion of her death) that motivated him to reveal the valley. It's the same kind of star wars trickery we saw from the old Obi wan (" vader was a former pupil of mine that killed your father, luke" not really a lie, just a twist on the facts, since the birth of vader was the death of anikan).

Btw- who thinks Tavion will be the big baddie in Jedi 3? I personally found her fight to be the hardest in the game, she was DEADLY in close quarted combat and much more stylish than desann (who had a killer grip, but that was about it).

Wes Janson SMR 04-09-2002 11:50 PM

Desann was cheap...

toolboi 04-10-2002 03:16 AM

Ahh! Fan fiction! Run! ;)

Ya, the Jan bit was COMPLETLEY predictable, and I would have liked to see her die and see Kyle go completley insane before being pulled back by Luke. Thats what games miss so much, character psycology. Oh how I miss the demented rants of Durandal or the psychotic episodes of Tycho... thats also why I never thought that Deus Ex was "all that".

Wes Janson SMR 04-10-2002 05:55 PM

Fan Fiction?! Where? For the love of god, WHERE?!

*looks left*

*looks right*

...

*explodes*

Creston 04-10-2002 06:04 PM

Nice story, Wes, if a bit convoluted for my taste. After all, why would Desann and Tavion go through the whole rigamarole of trying to fool Kyle, when a simple thing would work just as well?

Also, maybe it was me, but when the cutscene showed Tavion slashing at Jan, my first instinct was that "She isn't dead, they always bring back the hero," but when the game then later talked about Jan's death quite often, I did feel as if this time it HAD really happened.

So then when Tavion revealed she WAS still alive, I was kinda wondering if it would be a trick.

I kinda like it the way it is. :)

Creston

Wes Janson SMR 04-10-2002 07:31 PM

I wish I had fallen for it, though. You see, the trick is not only to fool Kyle, but also the player. Kyle was obviously convinced. Hmm... This might be a good idea for a poll.

Wes to the rescue!

Wes Janson SMR 04-10-2002 10:55 PM

...

So... I've earned the right to have my thread titles modified by the forum admin. I feel so...honored. ;-)


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