Aha, I can see that this thread like THIS can only be supported by slang-botchers like me.
Here are a few of mine:
To a Sunday school teacher: "St. Stephen got stoned."
To a friend's mom, about two loud twitterers: "Isn't it funny how birds make love?"
To a horse: "My, Parker, SOMEONE'S been rolling in the hay!"
And a thousand more I have little recollection of.
The man who hesitates goes home with jack. And his kids hate him.