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Old 02-05-2004, 02:04 AM   #10
Das Mole
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: a pool of vomit
Posts: 2,695
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i'm trying to think of something stupid that someone did today...i know something had to have happened...

i don't know. can't think of anything. but i can tell you about something that pissed me off once. don't know if i've told everybody this, but here we go anyway...

hey, everybody! it's time for...DAS'S STORYTIME! HOORAY!

well, i happened to be in kindergarten and i had to do one of those in-school vision tests, you know the ones where there's like two people with the little machines and they squat you down in the middle of the school conference room in front of one of these things? anyway, my vision was pretty poor and i couldn't tell what the images inside were. so this lady says in a very pissed tone right from the beginning (i think she may have been having p-m-s-.... not sure though) and said "okay tell me what's in the box". i had no clue. so i said "uh, a house." and she said "no it's not! you're kidding! tell me what you really see." of course, what i really think i'm seeing is a house. so i say again "i don't know. a house." and she says "oh stop pulling my leg." mind you, i was only five at the time and i didn't know the expression "stop pulling my leg" meant oh stop kidding around. so i took it literally and i said back "my hands aren't on your leg" and she says to me something like "oh, so you're being a smarty-pants now?" i'm completely clueless at this point. i think something is a house and it isn't. she tells me to stop pulling her leg when i'm dead serious when i can't see and my hands aren't an her leg. my brain feels like it's getting stirred up in a cauldron. i can't even tell why she pissed off at me. so i say "what, i'm not being a smarty-pants! what'd i say?" and then she says mockingly "oh my hands aren't on your leg." what are you lady, three years old? grow up, bitch. and then she says "just- tell me what you see in the machine" so i say "a house!" "come on, stop pulling my leg!" "my hands aren't on your leg!" "you know what? you're done. just go back to class." so i went back to class, and i couldn't see for the next two years of my life.

btw- not sure what i thought was in the box or whether or not she mocked me but she was pissing. me. off. and i had no idea what the hell was going on either. but no matter whether or not i missed or added a few details, that's the basic idea of what happened. jeezus.
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