Oh God. School shrinks. FREAKIN' HECK!
I remember back one day in seventh grade....
...ah yes, it's very clear now. You see, I'm rather thin. And that's not my fault, it's my anatomy. Nothing I can do can really change how thin I am. But anyway, I was sitting in the lunchroom (not eating because I forgot to pack myself a sandwich and because the food was HORRID in middle school) and this teacher aid comes up to me and she goes:
Aid: Where's your lunch?
Me: Oh, I didn't have lunch.
Aid: Did you forget your money?
Me: Oh no, I don't eat cafeteria food. I just forgot to pack myself some lunch today.
Aid: Oh don't worry! I can lend you money. How much do you need?
Me: No thank you, I don't want any lunch.
Aid: You...you don't want lunch.
Me: Um, no. I don't like the food here.
*the aid continues to stare at me like I have eighteen heads*
Shrink's Office-- Later that Day
Shrink: So I heard you didn't eat lunch today.
Me: Um, yeah. I forgot to pack myself some.
Shrink: Why didn't you buy any?
Me: I hate the food here.
Shrink: You must've been hungry?
Me: Well, yeah.
Shrink: But you didn't want to eat?
Me: Uh, no.
Shrink: Are you stressed?
Me: Listen, I just didn't want to eat crap food okay? It's not a big deal.
Shrink: You're awful thin.
Me: You're awful nosey.
Shrink: You're awful rude.
Me: You're awful.
Shrink: Look, I'm concerned.
Me: There's nothing to be concerned about!
Shrink: Alright Alright.
*pause*
So how're things at home?
Dang school.
