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Old 08-07-2004, 03:18 PM   #9
Katarn07
Joxer the Mighty
 
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: No clue
Posts: 4,250
The plot points I gave you were ripped from an unfinished story of mine. I just adapted it to fit your Datooine thing. Do what you want with it. Kill Doman or don't. Your characters, your story

I like it so far. It's short and simple. I usually end up going on and on over nothing and it bores the readers. I only feel comfortable writing dialogue and a basic story and not the setting and descriptions of stuff. Your dialogue's a tad dry but at least you have dialogue. You need them to have more words and give them some actual character. What they say and do makes or breaks a good story. I wrote a short screenplay for school (I posted it here a couple days ago). If you like that, I suppose I can contribute some more stuff to this project of yours if you want but not at the moment. I can do it later if you'd like.



Like to read? Like fantasy stories? Like doing people you've never met in person favors? Then read and review my original movie screenplay! You will, you must. It is your destiny....

Check out the best shots of all of my collections along with some of my better attempts at artwork here.

Last edited by Katarn07; 08-07-2004 at 03:34 PM.
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