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Old 08-07-2004, 03:18 PM   #9
Rebel Agent
Katarn07's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 4,344
The plot points I gave you were ripped from an unfinished story of mine. I just adapted it to fit your Datooine thing. Do what you want with it. Kill Doman or don't. Your characters, your story

I like it so far. It's short and simple. I usually end up going on and on over nothing and it bores the readers. I only feel comfortable writing dialogue and a basic story and not the setting and descriptions of stuff. Your dialogue's a tad dry but at least you have dialogue. You need them to have more words and give them some actual character. What they say and do makes or breaks a good story. I wrote a short screenplay for school (I posted it here a couple days ago). If you like that, I suppose I can contribute some more stuff to this project of yours if you want but not at the moment. I can do it later if you'd like.

"The Force is strong with Katarn...." - Darth Vader, Star Wars: Dark Forces

Last edited by Katarn07; 08-07-2004 at 03:34 PM.
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