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Old 02-23-2005, 11:20 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: gone
Posts: 1,223
First attempt at writing properly

I have had this idea for a while but it took me around three years to write it down and now here is my idea.

I have some of it in a word file that i'm just copying and pasting.

This is my first attempt and first draft so it isnt the best it could be. I mainly want people's oppinions and the like so say what you will.

I'm going to put in the first page:


It was a regular boring Wednesday afternoon – maths, then french for any year nine student in the Leon Skilton school. But there was a group of fourteen year olds who found school to be complete bliss, but not for the reason many might think. They did not like the work, nor were they a teacher's pets, but it took their minds off what they did the rest of the time.
Max Eco was one of these kids. He was in the middle of maths, working on fractional indices and he was paying no attention to the work sheet. He was finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than that evening, what would happen? He put his hand through his short black hair. He looked at the girl next to him – Tara Ilad, she was also fourteen, quite tall, she had long black hair that reached to her shoulders and she was worrying about that evening. She would be there too.
Max looked into Tara’s blue eyes and could see the fear in her eyes and Tara could see the fear in Max’s brown eyes too. In just a few hours, they could be dead, but that worry was always on them. Why were they so scared now?
They both knew the answer – they would be fighting the biggest army that the witch had ever put together. There were over twenty thousand men against five children, what were the odds?
Tara whispered to Max, “You worried?”
“How can I not be?”
“I should be the one in the ship, not Zamler,”
“But you’ve taken too much time off, people are starting to suspect things.”
Just then their teacher walked over to them, Miss Collins. She had heard the conversation, but did not know what it was about, she did not care, just as long as it stopped.
“I see you’ve done a lot of work this lesson you two,” she said to them, “you’ve been doing what for half an hour?”
“I’m not sure miss.” Answered Tara, she had been worrying too much to work.
“I’ll have to take your diaries and I’ll see you after class. Now get working, or you’ll be finishing it for homework.”
“Great,” though Max to himself, “not only do I have a gigantic army to fight and a group of friend’s to lead, but now I’ve got detention tomorrow.”
That was the rule in the school, three bad notes in your diary in one day, then it’s detention.
“Oh,” said Miss Collins loudly, so the whole class heard, “no work in english, no geography homework and now no work done in maths. Enjoy detention Max.”
The class laughed at Max, now he’d had enough of this. He stood up and banged his hands on the table. “Do you think I care about a stupid detention? Do I care about the english work? Do I care the geography project? NO! I don’t care about them one bit. So you can take your detention and stuff it.”
The class was absolutely silent when he said his little speech. He moved out from behind his table in the back row of the class and stormed out.


What do you think??? Honestly!!!


bye all

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