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Old 11-30-2000, 09:18 PM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Ottawa, Canada.
Posts: 1,756
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This is good and I'm sure it can and will be better.
ok first thing's first: Captain is not the same thing than Commander, so you should only put captain, it's the correct term for this type of rank.

ok you should give us a description, details of the surrounding of the commander so we can picture him somewhere, tell us with who he is, where etc etc

ok that's it for now, I didn't read all of it yet, but I will.

[This message has been edited by Jem (edited December 03, 2000).]
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