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Old 10-20-2005, 09:55 PM   #48
Not switching to DTV
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: just past the pot o' gold
Posts: 7,439
Current Game: TrackMania Nations
10 year veteran!  Roleplayer  Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Well I like the story... had a piece of sentence correction to offer, but forgot exactly what it was or where the sentence was... but ya, you really know how to keep a person interested in your story... good amount of action. Just remember that it can't all be action. If it is, there's no story and the reading gets tiresome. A few well timed discussions and breaks in the fighting enhance a story very nicely.

Mom tells me I need brain food... but if writing ain't that, I don't know what is!

My work in progress:
Hidden Histories: The Galaxy Hacker

Have a read, give a review, yah?
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