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Old 11-05-2005, 02:13 AM   #15
MdKnightR
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Feeling Hosed By Your Governme
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I like the story, but you still need to work on your delivery a little. Some of your passages don't flow very well into one another. However, I am looking forward to see how this plays out. Keep up the good work.

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