No. We are going to hassle over the fineries of politically correct holiday greetings in an effort to be all-inclusive until we are left with only the common ground that snow is wet and elves are real, but they work for Wal-mart.
So. I will have Zoom's Day ALL BY MYSELF.
holiday now, bitches. I will get gloriously drunk on fine cognac, raving stoned on hashish and stagger about in the yard in my long underwear. Hannukah? Twelve days it is! Christmas? Give me your presents, and womenfolk for use by the fire! Kwanzah? Pass me that blunt, yo. Ramadan? Well, I-- *(Suddenly whips out a big sword and spins around to see who's standing behind him.)*
Anyway, I hereby proclaim the universal winter festival to be:
(Except in the southern hemisphere, where it's the summer holiday. Whatever.)