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Old 02-24-2006, 10:33 AM   #193
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Coruscant Entertainment center

The Lost Tales of Revan


Set in the period before The Phantom Menace; New revelations about the Revan of old.

The writing is a bit hesitant, but I think it is because JM is feeling her way in the story. The idea is old (Revenge done much later) but well done up to this point.
The only stumble I had was the villain talking as if it were he that had been betrayed, rather than an ancestor.

Darth Vader Evolved
An alternate reality story. Anakin Skywalker, the ex Darth Vader teaches a new Jedi master as a Sith lord creates Jedi clones.

The writing is stilted, the dialogue needs work. Primarily it needs as I have said over and over, editing and grammar. Looks good for a first work.

Jorran Corral - The Chronicles Of A Jedi

Before KOTOR I. Fifty years earlier, Exar Kun rises.

You’re making the same mistakes as before, Potsie. Slow down, don’t jump around from scene to scene so oddly, and remember that working with someone else's universe, your reader might not know the people you’re introducing.
One minor aside. Except for Vandar (Whose race is especially long lived) all of the other masters named from the game would have more likely been students. After all, your humble critic would have been 3 fifty years ago.

Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater

I'm Your Angel
The Prism

The consummation of Anakin’s marriage to Padme

The only problem I saw with this was editing. The Prism shows the inner workings of a young man infatuated with his bride very well. Anakin’s machinations in getting his new wife to where he can consummate the marriage are interesting and almost sweet.

Fringe Benefits
Zane Marit

A Tale of the Jedi Purge. Two Jedi with a secret that can destroy the newly formed Empire hide at Nar Shadaa

Another of Zane’s work, and deeper than most he has done. An excellent exposition on the problems of being a hunted fugitive, and why a hunted Jedi must try to blend in. He still tends to jump from present to past tense and back, but he is improving.

Star Wars: Reborn,

9 years after the fall of Grand Admiral Thrawn.

As the New Republic staggers toward their future, one of Thrawn’s protégé's throws a 2000 ship spanner into the gears.
After a rocky start (Too much being covered) the work smoothes out. A well-written fleet action in the middle of chapter 2 makes up for every flaw.

However Kevin wrote this same story three times. Back when I originally began critiquing, I started to critique a story named Reclamation. This is the exact same story, just an older version.

From Kotorfanmedia

Once Upon a Wroshyr Treetop

As Katrina (Revan’s alter-ego) sits up with her baby daughter, her mind goes back to the first kiss.

Rose has graced my reviews before, and as long as she turns out quality work like this, she always will. There are 23 thumbs up on the story, and I have to add mine.

Trust a Snake to Act Like a Snake?

After the Star Forge, Revan fears she hasn’t changed.
An excellent piece by xenzen who has yet to earn a nasty comment from me.

Dark Redemption
An exile Revan on Coruscant.
Scythe seems to have tried something I have never seen before. The first seven chapters according to kotorfanmedia were male revans, but chapters 8 and 9 are female.
Maybe they were misfiled. It does happen.
But Scythe's style makes up for any fault I could find.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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